TMI Tuesday time. Answer these interesting questions adapted from Red Lipstick Project’s Sexual IQ test.

Jack’s Answers

1. You want to make love, but your partner says they’re too tired:
A. You’re annoyed and frustrated.
B. It’s a bummer, but you understand they’ve had a long day.
C. You give your partner an awkwardly long hug and say you’re happy to wait. It’s better when you’re both into it.
D. You get nervous and worried. Maybe your partner is cheating or doesn’t think you’re attractive anymore.
B. Actually, this isn’t really a scenario. If I told Jill I wanted to fuck (because I don’t usually use the expression “make love”), she’d indulge me. Even if she was exhausted, she’d lie there and get fucked. It’s just who she is. The closest we really ever come to the described scenario is when we’re both in bed and very close to sleep, and we start groping and kissing. Usually this kind of play escalates to penetration quickly, but once in awhile it doesn’t. In such cases the play slows down and one or both of us falls asleep. It’s my own fault for not verbally expressing my need, but the fact that I don’t means I’m probably too exhausted to fuck anyway.

2. Who is having better sex? You or your best friends?
A. I am, obviously.
B. We don’t talk about our sex lives. Ever.
C. We all have our good times and bad times. We don’t usually compare.
D. My friends have all the good sex. I can’t keep up.
A. Of the two friends I’m likely to consider my best, one is single and probably doesn’t get laid, while the other has been married a couple years and probably doesn’t get laid. I have no concrete facts on the situation, but I can’t imagine either of them having as satisfying sex life as I do. Make no mistake, they both might be having plenty of really good sex. They might not be able to fathom better sex than what they’re having right now. But I’m guessing that for me it would fall short.

3. How do you feel right after sex?
A. Sweaty and ready to shower. A little gross.
B. Satisfied and energized. Ready to take on the world.
C. Calm and happy, falling asleep.
D. A bit let down and tired.
B. I almost always have a surplus of energy after orgasm, whether it’s during partnered sex or masturbation. In fact, I often want another one.

4. Which is better? Being a man or woman?
A. Men have it so much easier
B. Women have it so much easier
C. I’m having too much fun being me to worry about it.
D. Is there really much of a difference?
A. I’d love to have been able to answer “D”, but men have it easier and it isn’t even close. I’m not happy about this, despite the fact that I’ve continually benefited from male privilege throughout my life. As the father of a daughter, and a man who generally loves and admires women, it’s problematic. As comedian Dennis Miller once said, before he turned to the neoconservative dark side, “Having drinks bought for you and being able to cry your way out of a speeding ticket don’t make up for lower wages, date rape, pickup trucks with naked women silhouetted on the mud flaps, no affordable child care, happy-handed bosses, not being called on in class even when you know the answer, and having to take most of the responsibility for birth control.” What the fuck happened to you, Dennis? Your ass used to be beautiful.

5. You and your partner had sex that wasn’t that good. You:
A. Don’t say anything. Everyone has an off day.
B. Complain or drop hints that things better improve.
C. Consider whether you should break up. Sex is the glue to a good relationship.
D. Discuss it immediately and see if there is anything you should be doing differently.
Sex that wasn’t good? Does not compute.

6. What advice do you wish you had when you started having sex?
A. Sex is a great thing–healthy and fun.
B. A proper tour of the reproductive parts as errogenous zones and not from a biology point of view. Bodies are really strange and getting to know them can be awkward.
C. Sex is a beautiful thing but be careful to protect your body from STD’s and pregnancy or you won’t have as much fun.
D. Enjoy sex while you can, because it gets worse as you get older.
B, most likely. It’s important to look at sex as something more than a relatively dry chapter of one’s biology curriculum. That being said, I knew all about it long before I ever started having sex because I read literally anything on the subject that I could get my hands on.

Bonus: What will your sex life be like when you’re 70 years old?
A. I can’t imagine having sex when I get wrinkly.
B. Probably a little sex here and there.
C. Hopefully my years of knowledge and hard work in the bedroom will pay off when I am having good sex in my 70’s.
C. I hope so, anyway.

Jill’s Answers

1. You want to make love, but your partner says they’re too tired:
A. You’re annoyed and frustrated.
B. It’s a bummer, but you understand they’ve had a long day.
C. You give your partner an awkwardly long hug and say you’re happy to wait. It’s better when you’re both into it.
D. You get nervous and worried. Maybe your partner is cheating or doesn’t think you’re attractive anymore.
C. Although it’s rare, there are nights when Jack and I don’t manage to sync up sexually. Rather than hug, we usually cuddle as we fall asleep. It’s not awkward though.

2. Who is having better sex? You or your best friends?
A. I am, obviously.
B. We don’t talk about our sex lives. Ever.
C. We all have our good times and bad times. We don’t usually compare.
D. My friends have all the good sex. I can’t keep up.
A. Although I don’t talk to my best friends about our sex lives, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I definitely am. I know just enough about their sexual likes and dislikes and those of their partners to say (without meaning to sound boastful) that Jack and I are far more physically compatible than they are. Anyway, our sex life has always been amazing, and it’s getting better all the time.

3. How do you feel right after sex?
A. Sweaty and ready to shower. A little gross.
B. Satisfied and energized. Ready to take on the world.
C. Calm and happy, falling asleep.
D. A bit let down and tired.
B and C. When we have sex in the morning and the afternoon, I am always energized. When it happens at night, it’s the perfect way to end the day and I am relaxed and ready for sleep.

4. Which is better? Being a man or woman?
A. Men have it so much easier
B. Women have it so much easier
C. I’m having too much fun being me to worry about it.
D. Is there really much of a difference?
C. While I realize that both sexes are unfortunately not equal, I don’t wish to dwell on it. If I did, I wouldn’t enjoy life, and lately that’s all I’ve been doing. Things are pretty damn good.

5. You and your partner had sex that wasn’t that good. You:
A. Don’t say anything. Everyone has an off day.
B. Complain or drop hints that things better improve.
C. Consider whether you should break up. Sex is the glue to a good relationship.
D. Discuss it immediately and see if there is anything you should be doing differently.
A. It doesn’t happen often, though. Jack frequently checks in on me during sex to make sure I’m enjoying it. After a dozen years, he’s gotten very good at reading my sounds, movements, and body language.

6. What advice do you wish you had when you started having sex?
A. Sex is a great thing–healthy and fun.
B. A proper tour of the reproductive parts as errogenous zones and not from a biology point of view. Bodies are really strange and getting to know them can be awkward.
C. Sex is a beautiful thing but be careful to protect your body from STD’s and pregnancy or you won’t have as much fun.
D. Enjoy sex while you can, because it gets worse as you get older.
A. I could really have benefited from hearing that sex is healthy and fun. That’s really lacking in so-called sex education these days. Had I really known how amazing sex could be, I might have approached it with a different attitude in my early days.

Bonus: What will your sex life be like when you’re 70 years old?
A. I can’t imagine having sex when I get wrinkly.
B. Probably a little sex here and there.
C. Hopefully my years of knowledge and hard work in the bedroom will pay off when I am having good sex in my 70’s.
C. Sex will always be fun, I think. And hot!

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!