I’m a woman who likes toys. Unlike my husband, who has littered our home with a wide assortment of action figures, the toys I like are of the adult variety.

Last weekend Jack, well aware of my love of toys, surprised me with a Halloween present: A large gift bag containing two autumn-scented candles, and two wonderful toys. (I tried to include pictures in this post, but for some reason I couldn’t get them to work.)

The first one was the Hop’n Rabbit Stroker. I have owned a couple rabbits, and always enjoyed them. The shaft is very sturdy and you can use them while lying on your back, or you can ride them. In fact, it was Mia Wallace’s story of riding her rabbit while giving her husband Vincent a blowjob that really made me miss owning one. Unfortunately, the ones that I owned got used so much that their motors eventually burned out. But I have a feeling this one is going to take much more of a licking before it stops ticking. Not only does this toy have the standard vibrating shaft and the rabbit designed to stimulate your clit, it also actually thrusts in and out, which I enjoy more than my previous rabbit’s rotating feature. There’s also a setting where you can set the vibration and thrusting to random and really makes things unpredictable. So far I haven’t used this setting as just turning the toy full blast works great! In fact, we tried Mia’s idea, and it blew me away. Such an amazing orgasm!

The second one was the Royal Princess G-spot stimulator. I’ve never had a vibrator designed specifically for the G-spot before, but I love having my G-spot stimulated. When Jack makes me come by playing with my G-spot, it always leads to intense and very explosive orgasms. I love coming this way, but due to the location of the G-spot I’ve never been able to find it on my own. I’m hoping that, with this toy, I will be able to. It’s appears to be perfectly-angled to reach my G-spot, and the controls are easy to reach while using it. There are seven settings, including a slow vibration, a faster vibration, and even pulse. It reminds me of our food processor. Unfortunately, I don’t know how well this toy works, because I have been enjoying my Hop’n Rabbit Stroker nonstop since I got it. But it’s got a tiny happy face on the end of it, which I thought was a nice touch.

Now, on to my older toys…

Jack got me an Eroscillator a couple Christmases ago, after my second rabbit died. Unlike the rabbit, the Eroscillator doesn’t run on batteries. It has a twelve-foot cord and never stops working at an inconvenient time, like right before orgasm. It’s quieter than I expected, too, which is surprising considering how powerful the Eroscillator is. There are a ton of attachments, with names like “French Legionnaire’s Moustache”, and “Grapes and Cockscomb”. They all do different things, although I usually use one or two of the attachments that stimulate the clit. In fact, when I looked through the attachments earlier this week, a couple of them still had the “remove before using” tags attached. The Eroscillator is a great toy, but it’s not the kind of toy you can ride. But because most of the attachments are narrow, you can put it between yourself and your partner while you’re having sex face to face, and stimulate both of you.

This is called the Classix Butterfly. You put it on under your clothes, and place the little vibrating butterfly in the right spot, and you control the vibrator itself with an attached remote control thing. I’m not sure where this toy came from, exactly, although I’ve owned it longer than I’ve known Jack. It’s pretty weak, and although I store it in the top drawer of my nightstand, I haven’t used it in years, and I’m not really planning to, either.

The Magic Touch Bullet Mini is fun for its size, though nowhere near as powerful as the rabbit or the Eroscillator. But it’s inconspicuous and can be thrown into a purse or pants pocket when a larger toy might attract attention.

Finally, I thought I would share the inscription on Jack’s Halloween card: “Hope this Halloween makes you scream!” It’s much funnier when you consider what was in the gift bag.

-Jill