TMI Tuesday: February 21, 2017

Wait, wait. Come back. I’m here. It’s a holiday in the U.S. I slept in, got disoriented about what day it was but finally here is this week’s TMI Tuesday.

[Jack here, folks. Jill is on assignment* and unreachable, and therefore she’s sitting this week out.]

[*Shacked up in a hotel.]

Fill-in the blank.

1. I am too busy to _____ .
Participate in TMI Tuesday this week, as I have to hold down the fort singlehandedly and get the house spotless for when my wife comes by to show her out-of-town friend where she lives. Still, I am taking 176 seconds to answer the questions because we neglected to participate last week.

2. Last week I did not do TMI Tuesday because _____ .
We forgot.

3. Last week’s TMI Tuesday’s _____ were _____ .
I don’t get this question; that apostrophe isn’t supposed to be there.

4. _____ depends on dreams.
One’s quality of sleep? We may be getting somewhat existential here.

5. Virgin _____ .
Airlines? Records? Islands? When did TMI Tuesday become word association?

Bonus: The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn?
Your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
I was fond of saying this in elementary school (albeit with “study” in place of “learn”). I thought I was so clever and rebellious (even though most of my class was also saying it). Today I vehemently disagree. It is not necessarily true that if you learn a lot you forget an equivalent amount, and at any rate, a society’s refusal to use its collective intelligence leads to the election of morons like Donald Trump.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

TMI Tuesday: February 7, 2017

It’s time to play TMI Tuesday blog!

Pick one and explain.

Jack’s Answers

1. Would you rather have a real-life, actually working light saber or Wolverine’s claws?
The lightsaber for sure. It isn’t even a question. Forget the fact that a lightsaber could cut through Wolverine’s adamantium claws (as well as his adamantium skeleton), what kid of my generation didn’t want a lightsaber above all else? The only question is, what color would the blade of my lightsaber be? (I’m thinking red.)

2. Would you rather watch all episodes of old time TV show Ultra-man or all episodes of the original Power Rangers?
I’ve never been a fan of the Power Rangers, to the extent that when I saw the trailer to the upcoming big-budget film before Doctor Strange a few months ago, I had no idea what it was until the very end. Power Rangers debuted on American television in 1993, when I was seventeen years old, trying to determine my own identity, and less concerned with geeky pursuits than I had been up to that point. I had all but ceased collecting and reading comics, didn’t care for most sci-fi, and didn’t play much in the way of video games. Furthermore, I worked with kids from preschool to third or fourth grade, and they all loved Power Rangers. Simply put, it didn’t seem like it was marketed to someone like myself. If it debuted today, I’d probably watch it, as I’m a fan of Japanese tokusatsu in general and it seems like fun. That said, I’d rather watch Ultraman, even if Godzilla is more my speed.

3. Would you rather do 3 minutes of planks or run a half-mile?
I’d definitely choose the planks, if by “planks” you mean grilling food on a cedar, hickory, maple, or alder plank that has been soaked in water (or other liquid) before use. Such a thing imparts woody flavor and smokiness to the meat, and if you’ve never tried it, you should.

4. Would your rather bite all your significant other’s toenails or shave your head?
I’d rather shave my head. I feel like I should elaborate on this answer, or make some smart-alecky remark, but I’m so flummoxed by the two vastly different options listed in this question. It’s like, “Would you rather grow a mustache, or rupture your aorta with a carving knife?”

5. Which can you do better, give oral sex or finger/hand-job?
I honestly can’t say. I guess you’d have to ask one of the women who’ve experienced my talents. I will say that I am really good at both, but when I’m performing both acts concurrently I am amazing. The first several rows will get wet.

6. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom, for missionary style sex?
I think I have to be on top, don’t I? Since I’m the one pitching? If I was on the bottom it wouldn’t be missionary, it would be cowgirl. If you’re asking whether I prefer missionary or cowgirl, though, I’ll probably say missionary because I like to be in control, though I enjoy the “sex while not moving much” aspect of being on the bottom.

Bonus: This week’s bonus question courtesy of Nero – “Have you ever masturbated to your own blog?”
Of course! We are pretty hot. One of the posts to which I’ve gotten myself off, albeit not in awhile, is Jill’s marvelous tale of a visit to the local adult video store, “Open Box“, published in December 2011.

Jill’s Answers

1. Would you rather have a real-life, actually working light saber or Wolverine’s claws?
The claws sound good because you always have them with you when you need to open a package or slice an onion. But I scratch myself enough already with my nails. It probably wouldn’t be safe, unless I also had Wolverine’s healing factor and unbreakable bones. I think I’d go with the working lightsaber, mostly because it’s the coolest anyway.

2. Would you rather watch all episodes of old time TV show Ultra-man or all episodes of the original Power Rangers?
Power Rangers are way cooler! Plus they come in all the colors of the rainbow, just like Skittles. Skittles are yummy.

3. Would you rather do 3 minutes of planks or run a half-mile?
Definitely planks. I actually enjoy doing those. And I don’t look very cool or coordinated when I run.

4. Would your rather bite all your significant other’s toenails or shave your head?
Ew! I am not biting anyone’s toenails. I’ll go with the shaved head. Hair grows back, and there are a variety of wigs to be worn. But once you bite someone’s toenails there’s no going back. It’s a no-brainer.

5. Which can you do better, give oral sex or finger/hand-job?
I enjoy doing both, but I’m going to go with oral sex. I love to lick and suck. I take my time and go slow, then gradually increase the pace. I enjoy looking into my partner’s eyes as I please him with my mouth and tongue. I make little circles with my tongue right at the tip. Then I switch to long, slow licks from the base up to the head, or else I deep-throat. I haven’t had any complaints yet.

6. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom, for missionary style sex?
I love both, but I really enjoy the weight of my partner on top of me. And I love to wrap my legs around his waist and dig my heels into his ass, drawing him in deeply. While I’m doing this I usually have my hands on his shoulders or arms, or else on my breasts. Being on the bottom is definitely my favorite.

Bonus: This week’s bonus question courtesy of Nero – “Have you ever masturbated to your own blog?”
Of course! Usually it’s to one of Jack’s amazing sexy stories. He’s such a good writer.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

TMI Tuesday: January 31, 2017

TMI Tuesday – Let’s travel down memory lane.

Jack’s Answers

Home:

1. Your current home: House? Apartment? Trailer? Condo? Other?
My current home is a condo. It’s the same condo Jill was living in when I met her. And while it was sufficiently spacious enough for her when she lived alone, and more or less sufficiently spacious for both of us when we lived together, for a family of three it’s way too cramped. To say nothing of the fact that my parents are in town semi-regularly and the idea that five people (four of them adults) can fit comfortably in a condo this size is laughable.

2. Which is bigger, your childhood home or your current home?
My childhood closet is bigger than my current home. My childhood home had two bedrooms and one bath when my parents bought it. Additionally, there was a living room. While that’s actually one bathroom less than the condo has, my childhood home was actually larger. Additionally, in the 1980s my father added on an enormous family room and a half-bath, plus a second floor with multiple bedrooms and bathrooms. I’m guessing you could fit most of our condo into the second floor and still have room to move around.

3. Which is better, your childhood home or current home? Why?
My childhood home is better. See #2. Additionally, while the neighborhood wherein my childhood home is located was probably not quite as safe as the neighborhood wherein the condo is located, and while our current place is a much shorter walk to multiple parks and libraries as well as all manner of retail and dining options – or at least it seems that way; it might actually be roughly equal – when you’re, say, nine years old, all you really care about is having enough room for all your toys. Having enough room to have friends over to play. A nice backyard where you can ride your skateboard while your dad barbecues. And sometimes I feel like a shit father for denying my kid these things.

School:

4. What was your favorite subject in school? (consider high school, college, grad school). Why was this your favorite subject?
English was always my favorite subject. I am naturally drawn to writing, reading, and the English language itself. I always lacked interest in math, and while I always found science interesting it wasn’t hip or cool to be a fan so I had to downplay that. Additionally, my in-born ability to bullshit my way through just about anything served me well in English class, typically while analyzing some work of literature. Being able to bullshit doesn’t help you much when you’re taking a math test.

5. Are you currently working in a field that you studied in college?
I did take some business classes in college, and I currently run my own business. So yeah, I guess so.

Job:

6. Describe your first job.
My first job was as a volunteer aide for the county daycare center. At the time, as a teenager, I planned to go into Early Childhood Education professionally; I wanted to be an elementary school teacher. Over the next several years, until I realized I lacked the patience and the temperament to deal with multiple young children all at once, I did many education-related jobs, from preschool teacher’s aide to after-school tutor (both at schools and in-home). I worked primarily with children at the elementary school level, though I also tutored junior high school students.

7. What was your favorite job and why?
My two current jobs are my favorite. I refer to the business I own and manage, but also the job of parent. Both are rewarding in different ways, and both are similarly taxing. Given the choice, I don’t think I’d change a thing.

Bonus: What haven’t we talked about in TMI Tuesday that you would like to discuss?
My prodigious sexual prowess would be a good topic for a future TMI Tuesday.

Jill’s Answers

Home:

1. Your current home: House? Apartment? Trailer? Condo? Other?
We currently live in a condo. It’s a two-bedroom two-bath, but we have much more stuff than we have space to store it all. I’d love to upgrade to something more spacious, but given where we live I’m certain we’ll never be able to afford it.

2. Which is bigger, your childhood home or your current home?
My childhood home is much bigger than my current home, but there were also three times as many people living in my childhood home than live in the condo.

3. Which is better, your childhood home or current home? Why?
My childhood home is much better. It’s in a safer area than where we currently live. It has a huge backyard and front yard, whereas we have neither. It’s two blocks from an enormous park, and about four blocks from a major shopping and dining area. Plus it’s on a quiet street, unlike our building which is on a very busy main thoroughfare. There are sidewalks so you can walk safely. The neighborhood surrounding our building doesn’t even have sidewalks throughout much of it. And since we live in a building very close to other residents, we are at the mercy of whomever else happens to live among us.

School:

4. What was your favorite subject in school? (consider high school, college, grad school). Why was this your favorite subject?
Math has always been my favorite subject and probably still is. It made sense to me. It had a single right answer, rather than some abstrat solution that was open to interpretation. Math came easy to me, and I enjoyed it. I loved solving problems. On the other hand, language arts and writing were always more difficult for me.

5. Are you currently working in a field that you studied in college?
Yes. I got my Bachelor of Arts degree and my teaching credential, and I currently work as a teacher.

Job:

6. Describe your first job.
My first job was technically babysitting my many siblings, as well as the neighborhood kids. I enjoyed it. However, my first job outside the house was in a fast food restaurant at our local mall. It was not my favorite job, as I hated coming home smelling of grease every night.

7. What was your favorite job and why?
My current job is my favorite. While it isn’t always easy and the pay is ridiculously low for the amount of time, effort, and money that I put into it, I do enjoy making a difference in the lives of my students.

Bonus: What haven’t we talked about in TMI Tuesday that you would like to discuss?
I can’t think of anything.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

TMI Tuesday: January 24, 2017

Oh, it’s Monday already? Time to post TMI Tuesday. Here you go…

Jack’s Answers

1. At work, what sets you apart from others?
I’m self-employed, so I guess it’s the fact that I call the shots and on the typical day I don’t actually go into the office, so to speak. Instead I stay home, raise my child, and watch pornography. However, don’t let that make you think I am some kind of out-of-touch boss who treats his workers shabbily. As someone who was once treated shabbily by an out-of-touch boss (or several), I’ve made it my goal for years never to be that kind of supervisor.

2. When it comes to sex appeal, what sets you apart from others?
I am very generous in bed (or wherever sex happens to take place). The needs of my partners are always paramount in my mind. Unless explicitly told otherwise, I am going to make it my focus to ensure the satisfaction of whomever I’m with, usually before my own and sometimes in lieu of my own. If my partner is dissatisfied, it will color the entire experience in a negative light. Or rather, I assume it will; that’s never happened as far as I can tell.

3. What are the big imbalances in your life?
I take on far too much responsibility. This in turn leaves me with less leisure time than I would like, to the extent that, on evenings when I find myself with nothing on my plate and actually have the opportunity for leisure time, I don’t really know what to do with it. I need to remind myself not only how to relax, but also that it’s okay to find myself with nothing in need of my attention.

4. What is it that your family and close friends cannot do that only you can do?
Probably maintain multiple romantic and sexual relationships, ethically, without leaving a trail of bitterness or betrayal. As my family is largely Catholic I suspect most are too rigid to even consider such a thing.

5. Are you flexible enough?
Why don’t you take me to bed and find out?

Bonus: What was the best news you received in 2016?
Jeez…beats me. My mother got some good medical news in December. I’m going to go with that, because at the moment I can’t think of anything that really fits. There were no huge revelations in the past year. There’s no gold mine under our property. I didn’t get accepted to Yale. My lawsuit against the TSA who violated me that one time hasn’t been settled.

Longtime readers will remember this guy.

Jill’s Answers

1. At work, what sets you apart from others?
At work I’m probably the most agreeable. I am always willing to help out and go along with whatever the group wants as long as I feel it does not go against the best interests of the students, the faculty, or the school itself. As someone who primarily identifies as submissive in the bedroom, I think this is part of my eager-to-please nature. I also tend to have the most patience with certain students who are, for lack of a better word, difficult.

2. When it comes to sex appeal, what sets you apart from others?
I’m not sure. When I feel safe and comfortable with somebody I feel like I can be more confident and assertive. I am able to tell or even show them what I want them to do with me, and what I want to do with them. I’m not embarrassed or self-conscious, and I can really let go and enjoy. I am able to shut down my brain and exist in the moment. And this makes me a better lover.

3. What are the big imbalances in your life?
I tend to do more for others than is done for me. I tend to give my time and effort and don’t always get the same in return. This applies primarily to my extended family and my friends, as well as certain more casual acquaintances who expect things of me but aren’t willing to reciprocate. Or if they are, their efforts fall far short of my own. It does not apply to my husband, who gives everything he possibly can to make sure I am content.

4. What is it that your family and close friends cannot do that only you can do?
I’m sure they can do just about everything I can, and likely would do so if I allowed them to. To elaborate: I do not rely on my family for much of anything. I don’t ask for help babysitting our daughter. We don’t ask for favors, or to borrow anything from them. If they offer, I am likely to take advantage, but it’s rare that they do so. I don’t ask because when I want something I want it done on my schedule, not theirs, and to my specifications, not theirs. Ultimately it’s easier just to do it myself. This is probably not what the question asked, but I had to get it off my chest.

5. Are you flexible enough?
I’m usually very good at dealing with change, because I can either deal with it or I can curl up in the fetal position and let life steamroll over me. That doesn’t sound fun at all, so I adapt as best I can. I am always working on being more flexible.

Bonus: What was the best news you received in 2016?
The best knews I got was that I am just as important and amazing as anyone else. I learned that I deserve to be cherished and adored, and that I’m just as worthy as anyone else of being taken care of. I am slowly learning to believe it.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

TMI Tuesday: January 17, 2017

Sound the trumpets–dah dah dah daaaaah! TMI Tuesday is here.

if

If this, if that…

Jack’s Answers

1. If you were forced to wear a warning label, what would yours say?
“The first several rows will get wet.”

2. If you were a Sesame Street character, which one would you be?
Possibly Big Bird. I’m not known for my height, though of late I seem to be getting lots of compliments on my length.

3. If you could have an endless supply of a candy or baked good, what would you get?
Pizza. You cook it in an oven, right? Therefore it’s a baked good.

4. Who is your favorite villain? Why?
Magneto, from Marvel Comics’ X-Men series and related titles, as well as in 20th Century Fox’s X-Men films. A champion of mutant rights, Magneto served as the comics’ analogue to Malcolm X and Meir Kahane, a character who would stop at nothing, using violence if necessary, to ensure equality for his people. This aggressive strategy stands in contrast to the comics’ Martin Luther King Jr. parallel, Professor X, a friend and contemporary of Magneto who strives for peace between humans and mutants.

5. Are you more in tune with sunrise, daytime, sunset or nighttime?
Ten years ago I would have said nighttime. I am and have always been a night person. I like the quiet calm of the late hours, and often feel at peace shortly before bed. Additionally I am very productive late at night; I assume this goes back to my high school and college days when I’d wait until the last minute to study or complete an assignment and found that I work well under pressure. Recently, however, I feel I am more of a day person. During the day I have the house to myself. It’s quiet just like it is late at night, but during the day I am full of energy.

Bonus: If you took a job out of your current career path, what job would you take?
Something fun that allows me to profit from my creativity. I’d love to design board games, as I’ve done similar things on a much smaller scale, and see no reason not to share my talents with the world at large.

Jill’s Answers

1. If you were forced to wear a warning label, what would yours say?
“Not as innocent as I look.”

2. If you were a Sesame Street character, which one would you be?
I’d probably be Ernie because he’s sweet and trustworthy, carefree and silly. He sings about his rubber ducky! Gotta love that. Like Ernie, I love taking baths.

3. If you could have an endless supply of a candy or baked good, what would you get?
That’s a tough decision. I’d probably go with Peanut M&Ms as they are my absolute favorite candy. I’m not as into the red or blue ones as much. I eat those first, or else I share them with Jack or our daughter. I like the other colors best, and I save them for last.

4. Who is your favorite villain? Why?
I like Ursula from The Little Mermaid. She’s larger than life, with ambition, style, and voluptuousness, plus full, bright red lips. And she sings! But I am nowhere near as scheming or vindictive as she is.

5. Are you more in tune with sunrise, daytime, sunset or nighttime?
Sunrise. Watching the sun come up is beautiful, and it’s a peaceful time of day. At sunrise, there is potential. The whole day is still ahead of you.

Bonus: If you took a job out of your current career path, what job would you take?
Something where I get to travel to other countries. I love seeing the world, and while I have traveled quite a bit outside of work, I often envy my friends who tell me about the business trips they ge to take. Being a teacher does not afford one this luxury. So any job where I get to travel would be great. Plus you get peanuts and ginger ale when you fly.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

TMI Tuesday: January 10, 2017

Yep! TMI Tuesday is here.

tmi_idontknow

 

Jack’s Answers

1. True or False: Falling in love is a serious thing to do? Explain.
I believe it is. Speaking for myself, it isn’t something that I do lightly. I may grow attached to other people relatively easily – it isn’t unreasonable to find oneself attached to someone attractive, someone fun, someone who shares one’s likes and dislikes – but falling in love is different. It’s a much more substantial emotional investment, and therefore there is more at stake. Putting one’s heart on the line always involves risk.

2. Finish this sentence: I never knew _____ like this.
Fulfillment.

3. Would you rather swim with sharks that you know have recently bitten people or swallow live worms? Why did you make that choice?
I’d rather swallow live worms. It’s hardly an appealing choice, but compared to swimming in the vicinity of an animal known to grow as large as twenty feet, a beast unrepentant about its love of consuming all in its path – including me – eating live worms sounds like a gourmet treat.

4. What is beautiful and most appealing about you?
My cock. Either that or my easygoing nature, and my eagerness to find the G-spot.

5. What time is it RIGHT NOW? What were you doing before you started to play TMI Tuesday?
11:13 PM. Watching a documentary about horror films.

Bonus: Are you a little bit damaged? How so?
Probably a lot, actually. I suffer from depression and anxiety, and probably a bunch of other shit.  But none of it is the slightest bit malicious, so I’m probably less damaged than most.

Jill’s Answers

1. True or False: Falling in love is a serious thing to do? Explain.
Yes it is. For me, falling in love means being able to trust the other person with your heart. You risk the chance of it being shattered and never quite the same again. However, you also have the chance of being able to make your heart grow fuller than it’s ever been. To truly care for someone else more than you care for yourself. You want their happiness over yours. When you both want the same thing for each other, it’s amazing, incredible, somehow easy, and just so very right.

2. Finish this sentence: I never knew _____ like this.

Support.

3. Would you rather swim with sharks that you know have recently bitten people or swallow live worms? Why did you make that choice?
Swallow live worms. They are less likely to kill me or cause me dismemberment.

4. What is beautiful and most appealing about you?
How completely I love and care for others.

5. What time is it RIGHT NOW? What were you doing before you started to play TMI Tuesday?
10:20 PM. Brushing my teeth.

Bonus: Are you a little bit damaged? How so?
Yes. I think I let other people’s opions of me affect my self image. I also put everyone else’s needs ahead of my own, and it has caused me to think of myself as unworthy of care.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!