TMI Tuesday: March 28, 2017

It’s a lovely spring day here in the mid-atlantic region of the U.S. How’s your weather? What season is it? Oh, and let’s do TMI Tuesday. 🙂

Sexy it is!

Jack’s Answers

1. What question about sex do you find hard to ask your partner?
I don’t really know what to say here. I’ve never had to stifle the urge to ask if I was enough for my partner physically; as a non-monogamous person it ultimately doesn’t matter. I don’t have trouble asking if my partner has climaxed if the answer is ambiguous. I tend to have no problem asking for something sexual that I want to do, and as anyone who’s slept with me can attest, I probably ask if the other person is okay so often it’s annoying. I suppose I don’t typically ask my partner about their sexual past, but that’s less due to difficulty or any sort of psychological block, and more about an unwillingness to pry into things that aren’t my business. In the interest of being done with the question, though, I’m going to go with that.

2. What question about sex do you find hard to ask anyone?
“What position were you conceived in?” In addition to finding it distasteful, especially when asked by a random stranger at a Starbucks, most people just plain don’t know.

3. Sexually, what are your favorite things to do?
There isn’t much I don’t like, though if I have to narrow it down to, say, four, I’d go with finding my partner’s G-spot, ideally while fingering, licking, and/or sucking her clit; making out, ideally while caressing my partner’s body and being caressed simultaneously, or for that matter undressing her; receiving oral sex, because who doesn’t like the amazing combination of receiving sexual stimulation while not moving at all?; and, uh…what the hell. I’ll go with penetrative sex for number four.

4. Name 3 things that most excite your imagination when you imagine doing them?
The first is watching a woman masturbate. I find that this specifically sparks my imagination because chances are that if I’ve interacted with a woman, I’ve probably wondered how she gets herself off. I’ve imagined how she looks naked, what techniques or toys she might use, and what she looks and sounds like when she climaxes. So the thought of actually getting to watch is unbelievably exciting for me. The second is finding my partner’s G-spot, because I love giving pleasure, and it invariably provokes an amazing physical response. The third is probably some manner of group sex – typically a threesome or foursome – because I like indulging in both voyeurism and exhibitionism while having sex.

5. In how many countries have you had sexual relations?
Just two. Ninety-nine percent (or more) of the sex I’ve had has occurred in the United States, as that is where I’ve spent the vast majority of my life. I also had sex a lot of sex with Jill in Ireland while on vacation there in the early days of our dating relationship. And if one wishes to be technical, we had sex on a cruise ship that was docked in a Canadian port, but I’m not certain that counts.

Bonus: Describe your ideal sex partner.
Honestly, just about any woman who’s willing to engage me sexually is my ideal partner. Physically I don’t have a type; over the years my girlfriends and lovers have run the proverbial gamut of size, shape, ethnicity, and characteristics. All have been very attractive and sexy. So if I have to describe the ideal, she would possess certain qualities that transcend the physical. She’d have to have an open mind, be eager to please and be pleased, and be proactive in bed (or wherever we happen to be getting off together). In other words, she should take an active interest in her own pleasure (and my own), and not simply lie there on the verge of sleep.

Jill’s Answers

1. What question about sex do you find hard to ask your partner?
I don’t really think there is anything I find hard to ask. When I was younger and just beginning to be sexually active I used to find it hard to approach the subject of whether a partner had been tested recently. But I got over that fairly quickly. My health is the most important thing, and it wasn’t difficult to keep it in the forefront of my mind. Today, there really isn’t anything I’m shy about asking. I find that sharing openly ensures the experience is best for both of us (or however many people are present).

2. What question about sex do you find hard to ask anyone?
Again, I can’t think of anything I find it hard to ask or talk about. I’m always very willing to share, and while I may not initiate sex talk with someone who I’m not certain is receptive to it, if the other person starts it, I’ll ask anything: Favorite position, spit or swallow, opinion of anal sex, etc.

3. Sexually, what are your favorite things to do?
I love the intimacy leading up to sex. The touching, the kissing, the longing looks, the exploration, and the closeness are all aspects of foreplay that excite me endlessly. After that, I really love oral sex, both giving and receiving. As for penetration, I love riding as I really enjoy the feeling of fullness that I get in that position. In missionary, I am always excited by the feel of my lover’s weight on my body. When being fucked from behind, there is something very enticing about being bent over and taken, often while his hands grip my ass or my hips, or pull my hair. Lastly, I love experiencing afterglow while entwined with the other person.

4. Name 3 things that most excite your imagination when you imagine doing them?

The first is exploring my lover’s body. I enjoy touching, licking, kissing, and sucking. There is so much pleasure to be had! The second is him kissing my neck. I can vividly imagine feeling his breath right before his lips touch my skin. The third is cunnilingus. The thought of my lover’s mouth and tongue driving me wild has me very wet.

5. In how many countries have you had sexual relations?
Only two, but I am always looking to add to that number.

Bonus: Describe your ideal sex partner.

My ideal sexual partner is a caring lover who is able to read my body and play it like a piano. A man who wants to excite my mind as well as my body. He would ideally be eager to enjoy all of me, to engage in slow, tender lovemaking as well as furious, energetic fucking. He must enjoy being touched, savored, and pleasured, cuddling and kissing me. He would seem to know what I want and need, both physically and emotionally, even before I do. With him, I would feel truly connected and engaged.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

TMI Tuesday: March 14, 2017

Something interesting this way comes– this week’s TMI Tuesday.

VERY INTERESTING QUESTIONS

Jack’s Answers

1. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
On weekdays the first thing I do is hit “snooze”, then return to sleep for ten minutes. But once I’m actually out of bed the first thing I do is shower. Doesn’t matter if I’m going out for a run or to the gym first thing; I usually can’t feel sufficiently confident unless I’ve washed myself thoroughly.

2. What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep?
Ensure my alarm is set for the following morning. I’m also likely to check to make sure my phone is actively charging, as the battery is probably drained by the time I get into bed.

3. Are you a giver or taker?
Absolutely a giver. I say this not out of any particular pride, though I do enjoy doing things for the people I care about. No, I say it in order to acknowledge that being a giver can be something of a burden at times. While I do get good feelings from being a giver, it can also be a pain in the ass. Case in point: Jill is also a giver, and both parties being givers is how you get stuck in one of those endless “I don’t know, what do you want for dinner” time loops.

4. If you had to give yourself a new name, what would it be?
Francisco Heffalump the Third. Too ostentatious? Good, because I don’t actually want that name. See, there’s a reason why most people don’t choose their own names, but rather accept the ones that are bestowed upon them at birth. Because I’m confident that, left to my own devices, I’d make the world’s most ridiculous choice and either constantly second-guess it, or continually exchange it for something else.

5. A world-famous chef ask you to make dinner, what would you make?
Probably a consistently crowd-pleasing Mexican pulled pork-type dish that, much like my prodigious sexual skills, never fails to satisfy.

Bonus: What’s the worst advice you ever received?
“You can totally take that guy. Look at him – he’s tall, but he’s not that strong. Have another beer and think it over.”

Jill’s Answers

1. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
I make coffee and sit on the couch and enjoy the quiet. I’m usually chatting online or checking Twitter. If I’m running late, I make coffee and start breakfast, then make my lunch and my daughter’s.

2. What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep?
The last thing I do is check my phone to make sure my alarm is set. Or to make sure it’s not set, if it’s the weekend.

3. Are you a giver or taker?
Definitely a giver. Probably to a fault. Sometimes it comes at the expense of my own needs, but I enjoy the feeling I get when I give to others as long as it’s appreciated.

4. If you had to give yourself a new name, what would it be?
I’d choose Isabella Rose. Or Bella for short.

5. A world-famous chef ask you to make dinner, what would you make?
Gnocchi with homemade bacon and gorgonzola cream sauce.

Bonus: What’s the worst advice you ever received?
I was once advised to pass up the chance to travel in favor of beginning my post-graduate degree. It’s much easier to travel when you’re younger and have no real obligations.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

TMI Tuesday: March 7, 2017

Hello. Time for another edition of TMI Tuesday

Dates, Mates & Relationships

Jack’s Answers

1. Which of these are you most often guilty of in a relationship:
a. jealousy
b. not apologizing
c. not keeping your word
d. guilt trips
I’m not sure whether I’m really guilty of any of these. I don’t say that to make myself sound better than I actually am; I’m just not sure that any of these really apply. I don’t feel jealousy often; I feel completely confident that no one is going to come between my wife and myself. If anything, I am more likely to feel envy; when Jill absconds with a lover for a few days, I wish I had more time to do the same. But I don’t feel jealousy. Likewise, when I screw up I am quick to take responsibility and apologize. I am a man of my word and I place a very high premium on honesty both from myself, and from others. So maybe guilt trips? I don’t think that’s something I really do, though. I try not to be passive-aggressive or manipulative. However, in the interest of moving on to the second question, I’ll say D, guilt trips.

2. Which of the following behaviors would annoy you most in a partner.
a. fishing for compliments by verbalizing self-doubt
b. passive-aggressive behavior
c. usually forgets important dates i.e., birthday, anniversary
d. making you feel guilty when spending time with friends
Probably A, fishing for compliments by verbalizing self-doubt. I don’t really have any partners who do this, and those who do verbalize their self-doubt may not be fishing for compliments. I guess this annoys me somewhat because I have platonic friends who do it excessively (in my opinion), and when I do offer a reassuring compliment it never seems to work. This is not unlike the phenomenon wherein a friend asks for advice, and once it’s given they completely ignore it.

3. Consider you are looking for a mate, rank these traits in order of importance, with 1 being most important, and 7 being least important.
___ Kindness
___ Honesty
___ Ambitious
___ Confidence
___ Reliable
___ Assertive
___ Sense of Humor
Honesty, kindness, reliable, sense of humor, confidence, ambitious, assertive. Hey, why are some of these items nouns, and some of them adjectives? Shouldn’t they all agree?

4. Score! You exchanged numbers with a hottie. Now you: (pick one)
a. Wait for a week, see if that person calls you first.
b. Call the next day if not sooner.
c. Call and text incessantly. Let them know they’ve made an impression.
d. You’d never call. What if you get rejected?
B, Call the next day if not sooner. I think that despite the so-called “rules” of dating that require one to wait a certain amount of time, one must be true to oneself; I don’t subscribe to such rules, and do what feels right for me. Any potential partner who thinks this is socially incorrect probably wouldn’t have been a good match anyway. Make no mistake, I’m not one to bombard someone with incessant calls or texts unless we are already in a relationship and the other person has indicated that she would like that level of contact; even then I doubt I’d call or text incessantly. Seems a bit much to me. But if I’m into someone, I’m not going to spend a week pretending I’m not.

5. How did you handle your last relationship break up?
a. You’ve never been in a relationship before. The timing’s never been right.
b. You went out and got drunk every night, until you forgot everything.
c. You went out on a massive amount of date, even with people you knew you had no interest, making sure to date a new face every night.
d. You felt bad and cried, but bounced back in a couple of days.
I believe my last breakup, which was quite a long time ago, involved C, going out on a massive amount of dates, making sure to date a new face every night. Okay, that’s probably not exactly accurate, but it’s the closest option to reality. When a relationship ended I generally charged back into the field, looking to take my mind off of the situation with, ideally, a lot of meaningless sex. Sometimes I was successful and other times I wasn’t. While I may have been sad over the loss – though not in the case of my last breakup – I didn’t want to dwell, or even really acknowledge it. I was in my twenties then, and not nearly as comfortable with the idea of showing emotion as I am now.

Bonus: Would you take a holiday all by yourself, at the ‘spur of the moment’? Why or Why not? Where would you go?
My instinct is to choose a city where one of my lovers lives, because sex is my main motivation for everything, and has been for decades. However, part of me thinks a wiser course of action might be to find a quiet, secluded cabin somewhere. No destination in mind, just a place where I can relax, write, and enjoy some peace and quiet. I don’t get to experience that nearly enough, and I find that although my wife and my child are the center of my world, I enjoy occasional periods of solitude.

Jill’s Answers

1. Which of these are you most often guilty of in a relationship:
a. jealousy
b. not apologizing
c. not keeping your word
d. guilt trips
A. Jealousy. As hard as I work on this, I still struggle with it. However, I have come a very long way. Two years ago, I wouldn’t have imagined I’d have ever let go of as much jealousy as I have. It wasn’t easy getting to this point, but I’m glad that I did. As for the other options, I probably apologize too much for things I didn’t do or have no control over. I strive to keep my word, and the only circumstances under which I’m likely to break it is if I forget somehow, and in that case I typically feel guilty and work hard to make it up to the person I affected. I definitely try not to put a guilt trip on anyone, though I’m sure I’m occasionally guilty of this.

2. Which of the following behaviors would annoy you most in a partner.

a. fishing for compliments by verbalizing self-doubt
b. passive-aggressive behavior
c. usually forgets important dates i.e., birthday, anniversary
d. making you feel guilty when spending time with friends
B. Passive-aggressive behavior. I sometimes struggle with trying to figure out what the other person wants or needs. I tend to ask outright when I think they are trying to send me a passive-aggressive message, and I do my best to convey that I don’t enjoy it.

3. Consider you are looking for a mate, rank these traits in order of importance, with 1 being most important, and 7 being least important.
___ Kindness
___ Honesty
___ Ambitious
___ Confidence
___ Reliable
___ Assertive
___ Sense of Humor
In order: Kindness, honesty, reliable, sense of humor, confidence, ambitious, assertive.

4. Score! You exchanged numbers with a hottie. Now you: (pick one)
a. Wait for a week, see if that person calls you first.
b. Call the next day if not sooner.
c. Call and text incessantly. Let them know they’ve made an impression.
d. You’d never call. What if you get rejected?
B. Call the next day. I like to let the person know I’m interested, then see how it goes from there. I have no problem making the first move if I’m interested.

5. How did you handle your last relationship break up?
a. You’ve never been in a relationship before. The timing’s never been right.
b. You went out and got drunk every night, until you forgot everything.
c. You went out on a massive amount of date, even with people you knew you had no interest, making sure to date a new face every night.
d. You felt bad and cried, but bounced back in a couple of days.
D. I felt bad, cried, and then bounced back. I’ve only ever wanted to be a positive presence in people’s lives. If they weren’t happy, I wouldn’t want them to stay with me. So while I might have been sad, I usually bounced back quickly. And I was always happy for the memories.

Bonus: Would you take a holiday all by yourself, at the ‘spur of the moment’? Why or Why not? Where would you go?

I definitely would! If I were able to, I’d love to travel to Europe and just explore and meet new people. The thought of throwing off all my responsibilities both professional and personal, and only needing to worry about myself and no one else, is so appealing. I’d go wherever I wanted to go, see whatever I wanted, and do whatever I wanted. (And probably do whomever I wanted as well.)

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

TMI Tuesday: February 21, 2017

Wait, wait. Come back. I’m here. It’s a holiday in the U.S. I slept in, got disoriented about what day it was but finally here is this week’s TMI Tuesday.

[Jack here, folks. Jill is on assignment* and unreachable, and therefore she’s sitting this week out.]

[*Shacked up in a hotel.]

Fill-in the blank.

1. I am too busy to _____ .
Participate in TMI Tuesday this week, as I have to hold down the fort singlehandedly and get the house spotless for when my wife comes by to show her out-of-town friend where she lives. Still, I am taking 176 seconds to answer the questions because we neglected to participate last week.

2. Last week I did not do TMI Tuesday because _____ .
We forgot.

3. Last week’s TMI Tuesday’s _____ were _____ .
I don’t get this question; that apostrophe isn’t supposed to be there.

4. _____ depends on dreams.
One’s quality of sleep? We may be getting somewhat existential here.

5. Virgin _____ .
Airlines? Records? Islands? When did TMI Tuesday become word association?

Bonus: The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn?
Your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
I was fond of saying this in elementary school (albeit with “study” in place of “learn”). I thought I was so clever and rebellious (even though most of my class was also saying it). Today I vehemently disagree. It is not necessarily true that if you learn a lot you forget an equivalent amount, and at any rate, a society’s refusal to use its collective intelligence leads to the election of morons like Donald Trump.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!