Saturday afternoon we found ourselves at Suzie’s Adult Superstore, where Jack bought my new toys last month. I’d never been there before, and as he turned into the parking lot I realized that I hadn’t been to an adult store in a long time. In fact, Good Vibrations was the only store we shopped at for years.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Good Vibrations. It’s exactly the kind of sex-positive store that should exist in every city in America, where women and men can go to browse or buy anything that turns them on, in a safe setting without fear of judgment. The staff is friendly, helpful, and eager to give advice to help the customer make the right choice on a toy, a video, or anything else they carry.

But sometimes Good Vibrations doesn’t do it for me. I do love the comfortable atmosphere, but it’s almost too clean for me. Sometimes that sort of sterile environment isn’t what I need to get turned on. Sometimes I want to shop at a store that’s a little bit naughtier, almost to the point of being sleazy, if that’s the right word.

The adult video store in the neighborhood where I grew up was much less comfortable than Good Vibrations. It was always sort of darkly lit, with porn movie posters hanging on the walls, and racks full of adult magazines and videos everywhere you looked. Inflatable sex dolls with gaping mouths hung from the ceiling. They had a back room with coin-operated video players, and probably glory holes too. Maybe it’s because I was raised in a Catholic household, but the forbidden nature of a store like this (moreso than Good Vibrations) added to their appeal.

It’s no wonder that I was pleasantly surprised by Suzie’s. The place is a nice happy medium between Good Vibrations and the much sleazier porn shop I remember walking into cautiously when I was younger. Suzie’s is a brightly-lit and well-stocked store, one that I can see Jack and I going into whenever we’re in need of a new adult product, or just looking to browse. Beyond a huge selection of toys, Suzie’s has an equally huge section of DVDs, all sorts of bondage gear from paddles to nipple clamps, and a cage large enough to hold a person. It costs just under $2,000, so start saving those pennies!

Like Good Vibrations, the sales staff at Suzie’s seems pleasant and knowledgeable. On his first visit, Jack got help picking out my toys from a salesgirl based on my likes and dislikes, and the toys I have owned in the past. Likewise on Saturday we started out browsing the vibrators, and it wasn’t long before a very helpful young lady came over to assist us, offering her opinions of some of the toys we were looking at. She said that she had used most, if not all, of the toys we were interested in, and although she might have been exaggerating to gain our confidence, both Jack and I found her candor sexy.

Jack mentioned that he’d recently bought me a couple new toys, and she complimented him on his choice, and me on my tastes. She asked if we were looking for something a little different, and led us to an adjacent rack to look at silicone dildos of all shapes, sizes and colors. She showed us one particularly large model with a suction cup on its base, and told us how fun it is to stick it to the floor and ride it, or to the headboard and back up on it. Even though they don’t vibrate, I think it would be hot to ride a dildo while giving Jack head. Maybe not as hot as riding my rabbit, but the fact that the dildo is actually shaped like a cock would be exciting.

Because it was my first time in the store, she gave us a quick tour and left us to continue browsing on our own. I found myself gazing at a showcase full of beautiful blown-glass dildos that I think I would be too scared to actually use. Jack gravitated toward a nearby shelf of adult board games and card games. He has been looking for something we can play with another couple or two in the event that we ever hold another porn and pizza party or something similar. Most of the games seemed to be designed for use by a single couple, but there was one he seemed interested in. I should have made a mental note of what it was.

Somehow, we left the store empty-handed. We hadn’t actually gone there to buy toys, since the last two Jack bought me are still doing the trick. But I did get a few ideas to add to my Christmas list.

Suzie’s is located at 5136 Auburn Blvd in Sacramento. They’re open 24 hours for late-night shopping trips. The “Parking in rear” sign is good for a laugh.

-Jill