The more I read, and the more I talk to people, the more clear it becomes that many women are either unaware of or not taking advantage of one of the most fun parts of their anatomy, the G-spot.

So just what is the G-spot, and how can you benefit from its existence? It was discovered by Ernst Grafenberg, a German gynecologist, in the 1940s. Originally called the Grafenberg spot, the name was changed to “G-spot” in the early 1980s. Some believe that it is a bundle of nerves which when stimulated can lead to intense orgasms, frequently more intense than even clitoral orgasms. Others believe that the G-spot is a series of glands that produce lubrication in the vagina. I’m no doctor, but one thing is certain: When your G-spot is stimulated, you’re probably going to get very wet.

The G-spot can be found on the anterior (or front, as in the front of the body) wall of the vagina, though its distance from the vaginal opening differs from woman to woman. In order to find it on her own, a woman might insert a finger or two into her vagina and stroke gently against the anterior wall. In most cases the G-spot has a slightly different texture than the rest of the vagina, and you’ll know you’ve found it when you feel slight ridges or bumps. Although I’m sure it’s possible for a woman to stimulate her own G-spot with just her fingers, I must confess that this is really difficult for me to pull off. It’s easier, and much more fun, when Jack does it for me. Preferably while he’s going down on me or rubbing my clit.

The sensations that accompany G-spot play are intense even when you’re prepared for them. When you’re not prepared, the sensations are likely to be overwhelming. The first time Jack played with my G-spot, I was taken by such surprise that I almost jumped off of his hand. He had warned me that it would be intense, and he went to great lengths to make sure I was as prepared as I could be. He lay me down on my stomach, then raised my hips and massaged my thighs for awhile. After that, he went down on me, making sure I was very wet before he began to finger me. He found my G-spot very quickly, and started to stimulate it very gently. And like I said, I freaked out a little bit. I let him try again, though, and he was especially gentle given how jumpy I was. I felt new sensations and I asked him to use a little more pressure. It was very intense, but I looked forward to what he promised would be the most intense orgasm I would ever have. He was right.

Although some women – myself and every other woman whose G-spot Jack has ever found among them – experience intense pleasure when their G-spot is stimulated, some women don’t enjoy G-spot play, either because the sensation is too intense, or maybe because it’s not intense enough. Some women claim that there is no significant change in sensation when the G-spot is stimulated. Although I suspect that they just haven’t found it, I can’t deny the possibility that not every woman is as sensitive as I am. I hope I’m wrong, as it’s too wonderful an experience to miss out on. Sometimes, a sense of imminent urination accompanies G-spot stimulation. This is because the G-spot is located very close to the bladder. The sensation is normal, and I for one have gotten used to it. When I feel that sudden urge to pee, I know that if I just ride it out, I will have a wonderful orgasm.

Yes, it’s true that some women ejaculate during a G-spot orgasm. I’m proud to count myself amongst them. The first time I did it, I was mortified. Jack had warned me that I might ejaculate, but I don’t think his words registered in my brain, and when my orgasm had passed I had no idea why the bed was wet. And when I say wet, I don’t mean that it was a little damp. It looked like I had wet the bed. I wanted to apologize, to somehow try and explain what I had done, although I was thoroughly confused and embarrassed. Jack and I had only been dating a short while, and I was worried that he would think I was incontinent. But no, he smiled proudly at what I had done, and then he helped me change the sheets. The next time we did it, we put down some towels.

While doing some research, I was surprised to find out that one school of thought believes that some women do not have a G-spot, while others do. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised, since some in the medical community continue to deny the existence of the G-spot altogether. I’m guessing that the people who deny the existence of the G-spot in some or all women are men who have failed to find it. Further research showed me that G-spot stimulation affects women differently. Some don’t experience sensation early in life, as though the G-spot is dormant until they reach their thirties or forties. Speaking for myself, I hope that once you are able to experience pleasure from G-spot stimulation, it never stops working.

-Jill