Every once in awhile we come across an embarrassing news story about a woman who packs a sex toy in her luggage with the batteries still inside. Invariably the toy is activated in transit, the suitcase begins vibrating, and the airline baggage handlers call in a bomb squad who then open the suitcase and attempt to disarm a vibrating butt plug, Rabbit, Waterdancer, Bullet or other fun adult novelty, in the process unfolding all of the mortified traveler’s neatly folded clothes. The local media reports on this occurrence with an unlikely straight-face, never once referring to the toy by its brand name.

I saw this story this morning, and from the headline I assumed it would be a similar account of a vibrator found in luggage. I was wrong. Check it out:

Sex Toy Sparks Bomb Scare, Evacuation At CHP

SOUTH LAKE TAHOE, Calif. (CBS13) ―

A California Highway Patrol substation in South Lake Tahoe was evacuated for hours over concerns that a man’s personal sex toy may have actually been an explosive device.

Authorities said CHP officers pulled over 60-year-old Steven Ferrini on Highway 89 for a traffic violation and found methamphetamine and drug paraphernalia in his possession.

While searching Ferrini, authorities found him carrying a device with an on/off switch and a wire disappearing into his pants. When officers asked him about it, Ferrini told them it was a personal sex toy.

Ferrini was brought back to the CHP station with the device still inserted, and when he began telling officers about his knowledge of explosives, authorities began questioning the nature of the device.

The CHP office was evacuated as a precaution while the El Dorado County Sheriff’s explosives team responded to the scene.

Explosives experts extracted the device from Ferrini and confirmed it was a sex toy and not dangerous.

Ferrini was arrested and booked on drug charges — authorities said the sex toy wasn’t illegal.

Well no shit, Sherlock. That’s one of the reasons we live in California and not Alabama. Condolences to all of our readers from Alabama.

-Jack