The following article is from Slate.com. Thanks to Max at Thoughts From a Mystic Satyr for bringing it to our attention.
A couple who spent a little too long “making out” in the bathroom of a Frontier Airlines plane set off a security alert on Sunday, the 10th anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks. When passengers noticed they had been in the bathroom for a suspiciously long time, crew members alerted the captain, and authorities dispatched a pair of fighter jets to accompany the flight into Detroit. On ordinary days, when calling in a military escort would be over the top, what are flight attendants supposed to do when they happen upon an attempt to join the mile-high club?Knock, inquire politely, and barge in if necessary. Airlines don’t directly address this issue during flight attendant training, but, these days, few flight attendants tolerate sex onboard. They forbid able-bodied adults from entering the lavatory together. If passengers waiting in line suggest that something untoward may be happening in a bathroom, the crew member knocks and asks if everything is OK. If they get no response, flight attendants have the means to unlock and open lavatory doors. (Sunday’s mix-up was unusual, because flight attendants usually enter a lavatory and have a look around before notifying the captain of a security threat.)Some aroused passengers don’t even bother with the lavatory, which forces flight attendants to tap them on the shoulder and request that they stop having sex in their seats.There is one glaring exception to this protocol. Richard Branson, head of Virgin Atlantic, has pledged that his employees are not the type to “bang on lavatory doors when a couple slips in there.” The airline even installed double beds with privacy screens in some aircraft, for a “more intimate flight.” Branson’s antics have gotten him in trouble, though. Critics call him sexist, and U.S.-based flight attendant groups say he’s more concerned with brand management than stopping terrorists who might try to assemble bombs in the bathroom.The Branson way is a throwback to the 1960s and 1970s, when flight crews were not only willing to look the other way, but may even have shared a laugh with post-coital passengers. According to flight attendant legend, crew members occasionally greeted couples returning from the bathroom with a glass of champagne and a cigarette and officially welcomed them to the mile-high club. While this level of acceptance faded, flight attendants remained relatively permissive for decades. Overly frisky passengers might get cut off from alcohol service but rarely faced more serious consequences. In a 1999 account, flight attendant Elliott Neal Hester explained that “most of my colleagues … tolerate and even chuckle at passenger audacity. Just as long as it doesn’t get too out of hand.”The security panic that followed the Sept. 11 attacks seems to have driven the mile-high club underground. These days, flight attendants will virtually always break up a lavatory tryst or window-aisle romance.Aspiring in-flight fornicators probably don’t have to worry about prosecution, as long as they cease and desist when ordered to do so. (They should, however, worry about hygiene. Health magazine counts airplane bathrooms among the 12 germiest places you’ll encounter on an average day.) Only a handful of passengers who have been caught in the act midflight have been referred to police. In September 2006, Carl Persing and Dawn Sewell ignored several requests to refrain from oral sex in the main cabin. According to an FBI affidavit, Persing “was observed with his face pressed against Sewell’s vaginal area. Sewell was observed smiling.” The couple acted out after being refused alcohol, and Persing promised a flight attendant he wouldn’t “go quietly.” In 1999, a British couple were charged after getting drunk in business class on an American Airlines flight and ignoring pleas to keep their hands to themselves. Far more often, however, plane sex goes unpunished.
We posted a condensed version of the following as a comment at the above-linked blog. For your enjoyment (and hopefully your arousal), it has been elaborated on prior to posting here:
Despite the mystique surrounding it, we’ve always thought that the Mile-High Club was a bit overrated. Sure, it’s sex at otherwise-impossible altitudes, but other than the whole “I can’t believe we’re doing it on a plane” aspect, the idea of cramming yourself and another person into a space barely larger than a telephone booth – a space designed for the disposal of human waste, no less – and attempting to get off in violation of federal law was somehow not the hottest scenario Jill or I could think of.With that said, a few years ago Jill and I found ourselves on a Transatlantic flight. We were seated on the right side of a 747 in a two-seat row at the end of a section, i.e. in the last row before a wall. In this instance we were, as the article mentions, two aroused passengers who didn’t even bother with the lavatory. Jill had been reading an anthology of erotic stories for most of the flight, and she wanted to get off. Vaguely aware of possible criminal repercussions of sex in an airplane, we figured that using the lavatory for this purpose was probably a bad idea. And while neither of us wanted to get caught for legal reasons, we were also very conscious of the fact that there were probably other passengers on the plane who most certainly didn’t want to catch us. However, given our semi-secluded row, we waited until late in the flight when the lights were dimmed and most passengers were asleep, and we got to it.Jill was wearing a short black skirt. She put a blanket over her lap and took off her panties. Nonchalantly, I reached for her pussy and felt how wet she was. Gathering moisture on my fingertips, I moved my hand to her clit and began to tease, then caress her. Before long, Jill was biting her lip to keep from crying out in pleasure as she came. Afterwards, we rearranged the blanket on my lap, and she reached underneath to help me open my pants and take out my cock. Gleefully she returned my favor, giving me a handjob under the blanket. No oral, as that seemed way too conspicuous. I remember, as I enjoyed Jill’s subtle ministrations, wondering where I was going to come – because I was most certainly going to come and it was going to be sooner than later – and hoping that I wouldn’t get any on my clothes. I didn’t, thanks to a few tiny drink napkins that helped with the cleanup.After we were both satisfied, there was no tap on the shoulder from an irate flight attendant or worse, an air marshal. Still, I remember worrying for about twenty minutes that we’d been observed and that we were going to be the recipients of a very embarrassing dressing-down in front of all the other passengers. I guess that doesn’t make a lot of sense, as I should have guessed that, as the article states, a flight attendant would have broken it up in the middle rather than admonishing us after the fact. Unless he or she really liked to watch.
-Jack
Thanks for the article and the story. I think your way is the way to go for sex on a plane. The bathrooms are so small and usually pretty nasty. The idea of it is hot, but the practicality of the bathroom just doesn’t make sense to me. Hand jobs in the seat though sounds like a great plan!
I’ve never been on a transatlantic flight, but this sounds like the way to do it. 🙂
I’m glad there was no tap on the shoulder for you, too. I think whoever watched you would have enjoyed themselves. I know I would have. 🙂