(Source image: unknown title by Beau Monde; website link broken)
His disembodied voice filled her ears as her movements reached their frantic culmination. She gave her clitoris one last stroke and climaxed in a paroxysm of pained delight. As her heartbeat slowed to normal she removed her headphones and placed them on her knee. Tears formed in her eyes and began to spill down her cheeks, her panting breaths becoming tortured sobs as she remembered him. When her eyes were dry she deleted the recording from her computer. (79)
-Jack
When I first saw the prompt for this week’s Flash Fiction Friday, I was stunned by the 38-98 word limit, and recalling the challenge presented by the previous two weeks’ higher count, I was surprised by just how easy this week’s story was to write. Like last week, I had a pretty clear idea of just how much space 98 words should take up, and adjusted my mindset accordingly. I’ve written extremely short fiction in the past, and it maxed out at approximately twenty-five words, so in retrospect 98 words was, by comparison, extravagant. Thus, this is the first time in the three weeks that I’ve been participating that I completed my story before Thursday night.
The body language of the model in the prompt photo suggested conflict, perhaps pain or grief, and as observed by Tame, wistfulness. Among the details in need of interpretation were the model’s post, especially the placement of her hands; her nudity; and easily the most curious aspect of the photo in my opinion, the placement of the headphones on her knee. Obviously there are many valid reasons why one might place a pair of headphones on her knee in this fashion, but combining this with the other elements of the photo in a compelling fashion was where I found the challenge.
As with last week, I chose not to address the hair color of the model. Last week, was I allowed a few more words, I would have mentioned the purple highlights, as well as the tattoo, in describing how the narrator viewed Vivianne as a free spirit. With a much smaller limit this week I knew I’d have no words to spare on the ruby-red hue, although it’s a shame as her hair is possibly the most immediately-striking aspect of the prompt photo. Admittedly I have no idea what I might have said about it given ten or fifteen additional words, save to merely mention it in passing.
I considered titling the story “Grief”, but decided to leave the fact that the woman pictured is mourning a lover who is either deceased or otherwise absent a surprise only revealed at the end.
Once again, I attempted to post the prompt photo in high-resolution, but Blogger didn’t want to play ball. (That, or I have no idea how to make the image fit.) If you want to see our lovely crimson-haired model in higher quality, take part in Flash Fiction Friday, or see who else participated, head over to Flash Fiction Friday.
Great twist at the end which fully reflected my view that she was at best wistful, at worst very sad. Deleting that final sound of an ex-lover’s voice is traumatic. Wonderful take on the picture.
Lovely take. This pic does raise questions…. 🙂
Happy FFF!
I could never write the sexual experience with sorrow, so I appreciate when it’s done well. Especially punctuated with the delete button. Nicely done.
Hi Jack n Jill…my first time visiting here, although i’m not a stranger to FFF.
I loved your take on the pic!
More, i love your “afterward” to it. On my “main” blog, i write usually 1,000 words a day, and appx 95% fiction…so trimming to the word limit is always a HUGE challenge for me.
not that i’m verbose or anything…(lol, the length of my response here belies that, eh?!)
Happy FFF and congrats for a lovely little tale…
nilla
vanillamom.wordpress.com
nillaswirled.wordpress.com
Very well done. it makes you wonder just how one would feel after the loss of a lover. Most women think of a shirt or piece of clothing with the scent, but to hear that voice you’ve held close to your heart… oh my.
Nice mix of sadness, lament and lose, and the finality of deleting the recording at the end, nicely done.
ooh, absolutely love this. I have seen the tags on twitter, but wasn’t sure what the flash fiction was. I may have to try this. But you leave a lot to measure up to!