Today we ripped off a blogger and blog claled BlueLifeMemories. It’s long so we will do it in two parts. She states she stole it from a friend, but did not say which friend. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other players’ posts. It’s a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!
Cheers to all of us thieves!
Jack’s Answers
1) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
I don’t have the exact wording figured out, but it would be a sales pitch for my company.
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
My instinct was to say that there are a lot of sexy blogging friends we’ve made, many of whom I would love to be able to board a plane and go visit, hopefully for the purpose of mind-blowing, no-strings-attached sex. And this is completely true, but I’m going to mention Rachel Rey specifically, because she mentioned me as her #2 answer, and although as I said before, there are a lot of bloggers I’d enjoy meeting, she’s the only one that I’m certain wouldn’t file a restraining order if I came to visit. I should point out that I normally don’t read other bloggers’ TMI Tuesday or Sunday Stealing answers until my own are completed, but Jill happened to read Rachel’s before I was finished, and it was she who brought her answer to my attention.
3) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
I’d fly to Dublin, Ireland, as it’s quite possibly the most festive city on the face of the earth, and Jill and I would live there if it was feasible. It’s probably cheaper, and we’d somehow probably enjoy it more than we do our current city. (The Guinness is certainly better.) But for various reasons it’s not feasible. So we’d fly to Dublin, and when Jill and I were done partying it up there, we’d travel around Europe, notably to the UK where we’d visit Tame and Yummy, and then stop in Belgium to visit Jilly Boyd, although if she’s living in London by then even better.
4) What do you think about most?
I’m not even going to answer this one. If you don’t know by now, there is no hope of you ever figuring it out.
5) You have the opportunity to spend a romantic night with the music celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
I’d rather not do romance with a music celebrity. I’ll gladly do the rose-petals-and-candle-light thing for my wife, because she’s earned it. But with some well-known female musician who probably views me as a notch in her bedpost and doesn’t want romance any more than I do, I’d like to cut right to the chase, please. I would choose Liz Phair, preferably in her Girly-Sound days or, at the latest, circa Whitechocolatespaceegg in the late ’90s. That’s not to say that I don’t still find her appealing and sexy.
6) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
I can think of a few horrible experiences I’ve had: Legal drama, bad relationships, health scares. And I don’t think I would erase any of them. The things I’ve experienced, both good and bad, have made me the person that I am. Given what I know of chaos theory and the so-called butterfly effect, I would hate to think that my decision to erase the untimely death of my pet goldfish Doctor Bubbles when I was six years old might somehow lead to my not meeting and falling in love with Jill more than twenty years later.
7) What’s your strangest talent?
I can play the oboe with my asshole. Better than I can with my mouth, actually.
8) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
My mother has been staying with Jill and I for the last few days. I have done my best to be social. Well, that’s a lie. I’ve tried, and frequently failed. Look, I love my mom, but she’s very nosy, and everytime she sees me on my laptop, she asks – in her usual cheery but way too interrogative way – what I’m doing. A truthful answer to her question would be, “I’m writing something for our blog, mom. Jill and I have a sex blog in which we talk about our sex life in graphic detail, sometimes including pictures.” I’d love to be able to answer honestly, if only so that she would never ask again.
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
I’ve exchanged poetic tweets with Rachel Rey, but before that, nothing. Most of the women I’ve dated haven’t seen fit to wow me with poetry, flowers, or other mushy stuff.
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
If I’ve ever played the air guitar, I was probably being ironic. The guitar isn’t something you pretend to play. You either play it, or you don’t.
11) Do you have any strange phobias?
I don’t think any of my phobias are strange. One of my biggest fears is being slowly crushed to death beneath a giant Dagwood sandwich while hundreds of anthropomorphic pickle monsters eat my flesh. But that one is pretty common.
12) What’s your religion?
I was raised Catholic, but I don’t really have much use for organized religion these days. I don’t begrudge anyone their beliefs, but a man-made belief system doesn’t really work for me.
13) What is your current desktop picture?
I currently have a blank, black image as my desktop wallpaper. There was a time when I used to collect wallpapers, and shuffle them with great frequency. One week I’d have a favorite movie poster as my background. The next week it might be an aerial photograph of San Francisco. The next, a piece of quirky, pop-culture-related digital art. It was kind of like getting a tattoo, albeit without the commitment. These days, I don’t bother with any of that as I tend to keep my desktop cluttered with files and a plain black background makes it easier to see them all.
14) When you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Enjoying sunny weather with my daughter, likely while taking her for a walk to one of the parks in our neighborhood. I’m very fortunate that we’ve still got temperatures in the seventies because, weather allowing, a long walk, lunch, and playtime at the park is a twice-weekly tradition for us.
15) What’s the last song you listened to?
Can’t remember. Probably some infernal kids’ music. Let me see what’s on my mp3 player. Okay, back. The last song I listened to was “For My Next Trick I’ll Need a Volunteer” by Warren Zevon.
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
The Red Hot Chili Peppers. I’ve loved these guys for years, and I try to see them every time they tour.
17) What was the last lie you told?
The last lie I told was the bit about me doing my best to be social with my mom. Before that, though, I was busily typing on my laptop and my mom asked what I was working on. I told her I was wrapping up my NaNoWriMo writing. I hate lying to her almost as much as I hate her nosiness, but I don’t feel bad because quite frankly, she can’t handle the truth.
18) Do you believe in karma?
Not really. While believing in karma is comforting after some asshole cuts you off on the freeway, or gets away with murder, I don’t believe that there is any real order to the universe. It seems like the worst people get treated the best, and the decent people struggle to get ahead and usually fail. Then again, perhaps that is the order to the universe.
19) What is a saying you say a lot?
I wish I had something to say here, either smart-assed or sincere. But I can’t think of anything for this one. In years past I might list some hackneyed movie quote here, some overused Saturday Night Live catchphrase. I got nothing. Actually, when I’m at a loss, I frequently say “I got nothing.”
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
I’m a sucker for a beautiful woman. Scratch that. I’m going with bullets. Like Lola did to Clapton, a beautiful woman can have me on my knees in seconds, but I usually get up again. A hail of bullets, though, will kill me dead in seconds. I’m afraid I’m not Superman. As for my greatest strength, I would say that I am an emotionally-faithful husband, loyal friend, and loving father. I would say that, but the urge to go with my sexual prowess instead is far too great.
21) Who is your celebrity crush?
I’m so out of touch that while I can name celebrities my ability to put a name to a face isn’t what it once was, and now that I mention it I don’t usually crush over celebrities. It’s just not my way. In the past I admired plenty of female celebrities, and sure I’d probably bang any of the current crop of Hollywood starlets given the chance. But that’s not the same as a crush; I’m more likely to have a crush on someone I know personally as the public image of a celebrity isn’t quite enough to get me to “crush” mode. You know what? I’m going to pick Jessica Simpson, if only because she’s “trending now” on Yahoo!, and I’d like nothing more than to finish this question so I can move on to the next one.
22) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.
Those awful, chalky Valentine’s Day hearts with the cutesy phrases on them. Oh wait – I mean Jill.
23) How do you vent your anger?
Writing. Masturbation. The occasional violent video game.
24) Do you have a collection of anything?
I collect books on film, including screenplays, memoirs, rare books on film production, criticism, study and analysis, and the like; and I collect some film and pop culture memorabilia.
25) What is your favorite word?
Fuck. Nothing else comes close.
Apologies for the appalling misspellings found in the above video.
Jill’s Answers
1) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
Follow your dreams and live life to the fullest. Live and act on your own terms and don’t work to meet the expectations of society, or any other person. Don’t be something you’re not.
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
Definitely the many sexy new friends we’ve met while blogging and tweeting! I couldn’t pick just one!
3) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Ireland. I would start in Dublin, and then visit the Ring of Kerry, Cork and Blarney. I would travel throughout Europe, including Italy and Greece. I would also be sure to visit friends in Belgium and the UK.
4) What do you think about most?
Sex. Masturbating. Fucking. Cocksucking. Pussy licking. Anal sex. (At this point as I read my answer to Jack, he asks if I have Tourette’s Syndrome.) Sex in hot tubs. Sex in pools. Sex on airplanes.
5) You have the opportunity to spend a romantic night with the music celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
I was originally going to say Shane McGowan. I’ve been a fan of The Pogues for years, and I absolutely love his voice. Jack laughed at my choice, and it occurred to me that I had no idea what Shane McGowan looks like. In fact, I couldn’t even remember his name, even though I’ll never forget his voice. I asked Jack what was so funny, and he said he didn’t think that Shane McGowan was my type. I asked, “Well, does he have all of his teeth?” because this is a rudimentary requirement of mine when it comes to fantasizing about someone. Then Jack looked up a picture of him on his phone.
Thanks for killing my fantasy, Jack. So I’m just going to go with Billy Joel. He was my favorite singer when I was growing up.
6) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
The tragic, untimely death of a beloved family member is the most horrible thing I have ever gone through. If I had to choose something from my past that I could erase or undo, it would be this.
7) What’s your strangest talent?
I can roll my tongue, and flip it over sideways. It’s a fun trick, and it comes in handy during blowjobs.
8) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
“Did you have sex in your storage unit?” That’s actually not true. We had no problem telling everyone on Twitter about it. But if someone from the storage facility asked us, we’d probably lie. Then when they showed us the security camera footage, we would ask for a copy.
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
Yes. On my birthday, Jack always writes me a sonnet. Also, and he’ll probably kill me for writing this, when we were first dating he sang me the most beautiful and touching song about my pussy.
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
Um, yeah. I don’t do that.
11) Do you have any strange phobias?
I’m afraid of heights, but not always. In fact I love having sex on balconies or in front of high windows. So that’s probably not really a phobia. I don’t like snakes, and am in fact afraid of them, but I don’t think that’s something strange. I think all of my phobias are pretty normal.
12) What’s your religion?
I was baptised Catholic, but I am pretty selective about which tenets I believe.
13) What is your current desktop picture?
The default one. My laptop has Windows 7 Starter Edition, which doesn’t allow customization. If it did, I would use a picture of my adorable daughter, whose beautiful smile is contagious and can brighten even the hardest day.
14) When you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Hopefully something fun with my husband and the baby, but I’m probably doing yard duty at school.
15) What’s the last song you listened to?
“I’ll Be Home For Christmas” was the last song that played on the radio.
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
I love the Beach Boys. Being from California, their music has always appealed to me, and makes me think of summer, surfing, and the beach.
17) What was the last lie you told?
“No, we didn’t have sex in the storage unit.”
18) Do you believe in karma?
Yes. I feel like if you do something bad, something is going to – or at least should – bite you in the ass. If you do something good, you should be rewarded. I guess it really doesn’t work out that way most of the time. My own sense of right and wrong and the belief that you should treat others how you want to be treated, more than karma, makes me a caring, decent person.
19) What is a saying you say a lot?
“Keep your hands to yourself!” I need to point out that I am a teacher, and I only say this to my students.
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
My greatest weakness is probably that I put everyone ahead of me. Maybe it comes from being the second-eldest of a very large family, but I find that I am used to taking on a lot of responsibility, and sometimes “me” time suffers because of it. I am trying to change this. My greatest strength is my conscientiousness. I have a standard for every task I undertake and I am very serious about accomplishing it to that standard. I would also like to think that I am a very good mother.
21) Who is your celebrity crush?
Mark Ruffalo. I like his intensity, I think he’s got a nice body, and he’s got the combination of dark hair and dark eyes that I really find sexy on a man. I am probably the only person in the world who was happy that he replaced Edward Norton as Bruce Banner in The Avengers.
22) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.
My husband and my baby. They have both captured my heart, and I can’t imagine life without them.
23) How do you vent your anger?
I scream. I cry. I punch people in the eye. Actually, I don’t punch anybody. I just wanted to rhyme. And I only scream if I’m alone in the car and there’s no chance of anyone knocking on the window and asking what my problem is.
24) Do you have a collection of anything?
I have a bunch of Tinkerbell stuff that Jack has gotten me. I’ve always liked the character.
25) What is your favorite word?
I like “luscious”. I like the way it sounds, I like what it means, and I love the fact that it can be used to refer to so many things, from food to a person’s lips (or other parts). Just saying “luscious” is luscious.
Jack, I too love the word fuck…I think we should do something to show the world our love of this word. I mean other than the video, which I have seen before but still LOVE!
Jill, luscious is very luscious. I need to start using this word more.
Love your answers, as always.
Yay for Dublin! We went to Ireland on our honeymoon and loved it. We also said we’d live there if we had the chance.
The Pogues answer had me laughing. He’s an interesting looking dude, isn’t he? He totally has a face for radio. 🙂
Good answers, but can’t get past that ugly dude.
Fuck! I should have used “fuck” as my favorite word… What the fuck is wrong with me?!
I would LOVE to visit Ireland (and the rest of Europe, for that matter…)
I too find Mark Ruffalo very attractive.
Cougar: I can think of a pretty good way for us to demonstrate our love of fuck (especially when used as a verb).
MinorityReport: Dublin is the sort of place we’d visit annually, budget allowing. (And it doesn’t.) I felt bad killing Jill’s fantasy, but like a horse with a broken leg, it had to happen.
Vincent: I actually feel really bad about including a picture of Shane McGowan in my sex blog. (It wasn’t Jill’s idea to include the picture; I added it when formatting and posting the entry.) The saddest part is that this wasn’t the most horrible, psyche-destroying picture of him that I could have posted.
Mia: Your favorite word is indeed a good one, but we were really fucking surprised that you didn’t go with fuck.
-Jack
I’m very curious about Jill’s tongue rolling talent! I also love the word luscious!