Today we ripped off a blogger named Tom Baker from the blog Morning Erection. (Tom points out that you shouldn’t read much into his blog’s name. It’s a great blog.) This is an original meme and it’s very first time posted. Tom asked us to rip it off and of course we are grateful! Take the time to comment on other player’s posts. It’s a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!
Cheers to all of us thieves!
Jack’s Answers
1. As a blogger, what do you draw inspirations from for your posts?
Real life, my own imagination, and occasionally, sex-related news stories seen on sites such as Huffington Post, Yahoo! Health, and Eden Fantasys‘ Sexis Magazine.
2. If you could swap blogs with another blogger for a post, who would you switch with and why?
I think I would switch with Jilly Boyd, as she is as prolific a writer as I wish I was.
3. If your blog had a theme song, what would it be? Why?
I can think of quite a few sexy songs that might fit; however, while they turn us on, and in some cases have a sexual connotation for us, the only one that truly encapsulates what this blog is about is Marvin Gaye’s 1973 hit “Let’s Get It On”.
4. What is your writing process for a post?
When I get an idea in my head, I normally type notes into a notepad or Wordpad document. When all of my notes are down I refine them into a finished post. If it’s a meme like TMI Tuesday or Sunday Stealing, I generally copy and paste the introduction and the questions themselves into a Wordpad document. I answer the questions, as does Jill, and then I paste the whole mess, along with any corresponding pictures, into the new post window on Blogger. I’ve described my writing process for specific Flash Fiction Friday entries in my individual Flash Fiction Friday posts, although the generalities are similar: Ideas are typed into a wordpad document, although I use Microsoft Word solely for the purposes of getting a word count. I don’t usually write new posts into a web browser first, as I’m paranoid of losing my work if the browser crashes.
5. Your blog requires a cute, new, mascot – what would it be?
A big-eyed, constantly-masturbating monkey.
6. Do you feel you express your “true self” on your blog?
I hesitate to go into too much detail as this is the subject of a future blog post, but yes, I feel like I am able to be much more honest here than I am in my everyday life.
7. What is your biggest online pet-peeve?
Faulty grammar, spelling and punctuation. I don’t let it affect the relationships I’ve made in a negative fashion, especially when dealing with real-life friends I’ve known for decades, but I am often disappointed by the rampant mutilation of the English language that I see on a daily basis online. Especially on Facebook.
8. If you could live in a fictional universe, where would you live? Why?
If I could live in a fictional universe, I wouldn’t; I’m happy where I am. But if I had to, I might choose the Marvel Comics Universe. Who wouldn’t want to be a superhero? Maybe I’d have superhuman strength. Maybe I’d be able to fly. Or be able to deflect bullets with my mind. Or maybe I’d have some combination of these. Of course, with my luck I’d probably be some unfortunate civilian who gets vaporized by an intergalactic supervillain while walking to work.
9. You’re having a bad day, you’re upset, you’re angry, or you’re sad – what is your go-to comfort?
Masturbation. More than food, more than alcohol, more than sleep, a good wank – and really, is there any other kind? – can fix anything.
10. What is your favorite inspirational quote?
“Of all the sexual aberrations, chastity is the strangest.” – Anatole France, 19th-century French poet and novelist
11. If they were to make a movie based on your life, who would play you, your leading lady/man, your best friend, and your rival?
I would be played by Robert DeNiro circa The Godfather Part II. Early-to-mid-’70s Robert DeNiro is the only actor who could even come close to capturing the complexity that is me. He was hungry then, driven, soon to be an Academy Award Winner. The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle was still twenty-six years away. (Note: If it proves impossible to return Robert DeNiro to age thirty, I will settle for Hollywood somehow reanimating Cary Grant.) As for my leading lady, I’d go with Julia Roberts in the early ’90s Pretty Woman/Sleeping With the Enemy stage, when she was cute and not quite as overexposed as she would become midway through the decade. My best friend would be played by Wendell Pierce, who currently appears on the HBO original series Treme but is likely better known for his role on HBO’s earlier series The Wire. My rival would be played by Seth Rogen, simply because I’d like to kick the shit out of that obnoxious asshole.
12. Do you think the world is going to end in 2012?
No, but I hope that the chuckleheads who think it will decide to pre-emptively lemming off of a cliff, thereby strengthening the human species.
13. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
I’m not sure I’d change anything. Sure, I might sing a different tune if actually given the opportunity, but while I may not be the pinnacle of male perfection either physically or mentally – sure as hell not mentally – I’m pretty happy with myself the way I am. Actually, scratch that. I’d like to excrete hundred-dollar bills.
14. What is your favorite season and why?
Summer. Jill is off of work, and we have lots of sex.
15. You’ve been bitten by a vampire. Would you fight it with all your undead being or would you embrace it for all it is worth?
I’d embrace it. I would have a blast being a vampire! I’d use my heightened senses to scope out young coeds with soft, delicate necks in need of my kiss. I’d use the ability to transform into a bat to peep in people’s bedroom windows in order to sate my voyeuristic appetites. I’d stay out all night long and return home just before sunrise. I might feel some conflict over it all, but I certainly wouldn’t mope around like some brooding loser. I’d do my best to own my vampirism.
16. Have you personally met any of your blogger friends?
None that I didn’t know independently of or prior to their blog. However, I would like to rectify this as soon as possible by meeting some of you.
17. What does your favorite pair of underwear look like?
I’ve got a couple pairs of boxers that are my favorite. I think one’s got black and blue stripes and the other one might be a light blue plaid over dark blue. They’re 100% cotton, and the most comfortable things I have ever worn. They make my junk feel like it’s ensconced in the hand of God.
18. Have you ever drank something right from the container in the refrigerator knowing other people will have to drink out of the same container later?
I don’t think so. Certainly not lately, but I’m pretty sure I never did this when I was a child, either. It always seemed rude, or unsanitary at best. It helps that I’m an only child, and I wouldn’t have risked the wrath of my parents by leaving cookie crumbs in the milk carton when I had so much more meaningful and rewarding mischief up my sleeve with which to piss them off.
19. What is your favorite word and explain why?
As I’ve said elsewhere on this blog, “fuck” is my favorite word.
20. 2011 is soon coming to a close, is there anything you’d like to do different on your blog in the year 2012?
Yes. As my daughter approaches her second birthday, it stands to reason that my role as stay-at-home Dad will grow more involved and intense. Therefore, beginning January 1, 2012, the focus of this blog will switch from sex, naked pictures and erotic stories to cute anecdotes and heart-warming pictures of the daily adventures my daughter and I enjoy. That’s right, we’re becoming a mommy blog! Stay tuned.
Jill’s Answers
1. As a blogger, what do you draw inspirations from for your posts?
Twilight. I’m not talking about the time of day. I’m talking about Stephanie Meyers’ brilliant novel series involving a love triangle between a vampire, a werewolf, and the young girl they both love. Not so much the movie series, which was okay, but the novel series is a timeless work of literature in the vein of Gone with the Wind or J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. Obviously that was a joke, and I kind of feel like I need to apologize to everyone who just lost respect for me. Although I don’t write as many posts as Jack does, I am inspired by my own life, my sexual desires and goals, and to a great extent the amazing work done by so many of my fellow bloggers, who consistently set a high standard that I do my best to meet.
2. If you could swap blogs with another blogger for a post, who would you switch with and why?
Without a doubt I would swap places (not just blogs) with Yummy, whose sexual life with YSL often seems like a non-stop rollercoaster ride of intense and exciting sexual experiences.
3. If your blog had a theme song, what would it be? Why?
“Feelin’ Love”, by Paula Cole. This is a song that Jack introduced me to. It’s slow, sultry, and sexy, and the lyrics and music together really turn me on. I mean, “You make me feel like the Amazon’s runnin’ between my thighs” – what woman can’t relate to that?
4. What is your writing process for a post?
I come up with an idea, I write out some notes either on paper on or my phone, and then when I’m at my laptop I type it up. I email it to Jack, who proofreads (meaning that any mistakes you find are his fault and not my own) and posts it.
5. Your blog requires a cute, new, mascot – what would it be?
An anthropomorphic pink vibrator named Buzz.
6. Do you feel you express your “true self” on your blog?
I do. This blog is the place where I feel I can be the most honest, moreso than I can in my daily life, and moreso than on other social networks like Facebook where I use my real name, interact with people I know in real life, and must behave myself according to the various restrictive rules of society.
7. What is your biggest online pet-peeve?
Probably unnecessary internet shorthand. LOLZ OMGWTFBBQ!
8. If you could live in a fictional universe, where would you live? Why?
I’m afraid that I’m not enough of a geek to answer this one. Um…is there a Disney universe? I want to be Tinkerbell.
9. You’re having a bad day, you’re upset, you’re angry, or you’re sad – what is your go-to comfort?
Jack and my beautiful baby. Jack will do anything to improve my mood, and my baby, with her smiling face and her adorable voice, always lifts my spirit. Oh, and chocolate works too.
10. What is your favorite inspirational quote?
“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” – Robert Frost
11. If they were to make a movie based on your life, who would play you, your leading lady/man, your best friend, and your rival?
Katherine Heigl would play me. Mark Ruffalo would play my leading man (big surprise to anyone who follows our blog). Jennifer Garner would play my best friend. Jennifer Aniston would play my rival, in a brilliant example of casting against type.
12. Do you think the world is going to end in 2012?
God, I hope not. There is way too much stuff I’d still like to experience. There is travel still to be done, exotic dishes we’ve never gotten around to sampling, milestones in our child’s life that we insist on living to see, and a host of sexy blogging friends we must meet before the world ends.
13. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
I’d like bigger boobs. Don’t get me wrong, I love my boobs a lot, Jack does too, and it seems like many of you enjoy them as well. But what’s wrong with wanting a little more to love?
14. What is your favorite season and why?
I love summer, because I’m off of work and I get to spend time with my family. I love swimming, it’s my favorite form of exercise and summer is the perfect time to do it. Plus, I like having sex in a swimming pool.
15. You’ve been bitten by a vampire. Would you fight it with all your undead being or would you embrace it for all it is worth?
I’ve already been bitten. I’m pretty sure there’s no point in fighting it. So I think the best thing to do at that point would be to accept it and start biting as many necks as I can.
16. Have you personally met any of your blogger friends?
Yes, I’ve met Vincent Vega and Mia Wallace, and they’re just as much fun in real life as they are online.
17. What does your favorite pair of underwear look like?
My black lace boyshort-looking thong is my favorite pair of underwear. It’s not only comfortable, but it’s very pretty. I would love to describe it in better detail, but why don’t you take a look for yourself?
18. Have you ever drank something right from the container in the refrigerator knowing other people will have to drink out of the same container later?
Yes. I’ve drank from a bottle of juice that was almost empty. My siblings and I did this constantly when we were kids. It was just expected.
19. What is your favorite word and explain why?
This very same question was asked in a previous Sunday Stealing. My answer hasn’t changed. If you don’t want to click the link, here is what I said then:
I like “luscious”. I like the way it sounds, I like what it means, and I love the fact that it can be used to refer to so many things, from food to a person’s lips (or other parts). Just saying “luscious” is luscious.
20. 2011 is soon coming to a close, is there anything you’d like to do different on your blog in the year 2012?
I’d love to write more stories. I loved writing out my fantasies and accounts of the actual sex we had when the blog was new, but unfortunately I don’t have as much time as I did then. In 2012, I would like to correct this.
Jack, I’m super, super excited that this will be turning into a mommy blog! I always knew you would do it, just a matter of time.
Jill, I didn’t read your answers because I threw up after I saw the first word. Sorry. I’m sure they were great though…ya know, if you’re into Twilight.
Jack – Apparently we’ve never met? 🙂 I do like the grammar answer because, well, you know me. Oh, and our blog apparently both has monkeys now!
Jill – YES on #7! #8 would be fun, but we’d be expected to bust out in dong and dance every once in a while.
This is a good Sunday Stealing, I might have to do it myself. I enjoyed reading both of your answers!
OH MY GOD!!!! I think I peed a little with Vincent’s comment about “dong and dance!” I originally intended to comment on your answers, but now I can’t get “dong and dance” out of my head! I’ll come back when I stop laughing and the tears stop flowing!
Cougar: The first post is going to be a review of the stroller aerobics class I’m taking! You are going to LOVE it!
Vincent: Your wife beat me to it, but I really wanted to bust your chops a little for the whole “dong and dance” thing. Jill would probably be into it, though.
Hubman: Thanks for stopping by! Always great to find a comment from you. We’ll keep an eye out for your answers if you play.
Mia: I know, right? Now when you’re done peeing come back and tell us how awesome our answers are. 😉