Formspring Friday always makes us feel like David Letterman, reading viewer mail on his show.  Actually, does Letterman still do viewer mail?  It’s been years since we watched The Late Show regularly, although we used to be pretty regular viewers.

How important is foreplay for both Jack and Jill? What is your favourite type of foreplay? How long does foreplay typically last for you two?

Jack’s Answer:

I love all forms of sexual expression, foreplay included.  Foreplay is exciting, although despite its name it doesn’t always lead to penetrative sex for Jill and I.  It doesn’t even lead to orgasm, necessarily, although we never resist when it does.  We consider foreplay more than simply a means to an end, and there have certainly been times when foreplay is less the means than it is the end itself.  To me, foreplay is excitement and anticipation.  It is a way to demonstrate our love, our passion, and our attraction to one another in a physical and frequently emotional fashion.  Because of all of these factors – and in spite of the fact that I never need it in order to get in the mood for sex – foreplay is important to me.

I don’t know that I have a favorite type of foreplay.  I like them all, and in my opinion anything that fosters closeness between Jill and I and leads to greater arousal or intimacy is pretty wonderful.  But if I had to pick one type I would probably go with oral sex over, say, caressing and making out.  Although I do love caressing and making out, there are very few intimate acts that I find as enjoyable as I find giving and receiving oral sex.

As for how long foreplay typically lasts, there is no easy way to answer this.  Every instance is potentially different.  Generally speaking, I like it when Jill has a couple orgasms before I even come close to being inside her.  As she is capable of multiples, she sometimes has several.  Therefore ideally foreplay takes as long as it must in order to achieve this, unless for some reason we are in a hurry, in which case foreplay may not last nearly as long.  But if we’ve got time, we spend as long or possibly even longer on foreplay as we will on having penetrative sex.  And if I happen to have an orgasm from oral sex during foreplay – not a common occurrence, but it does happen – that’s fine too, because I enjoy a very brief refractory period (or sometimes no refractory period at all) between orgasm and subsequent arousal.

Jill’s Answer:

Foreplay is very important to me.  I love the closeness and the playfulness that comes with it.  During foreplay, we aren’t always focused on a goal such as orgasm (although we sometimes are).  As a result, we can focus on pleasure and fun.  For me, foreplay can be as simple as a look, a touch, or a sexy whisper.  I love the heat I feel when Jack’s hand brushes my own.  I love when he rubs my back, or caresses my scalp.  Sometimes our foreplay is more raw and sexual.  Jack’s lips on my neck, breasts, and stomach make wonderful foreplay, as does his mouth on my thighs or my pussy.  My favorite type of foreplay is oral sex.

Sometimes foreplay can take the form of a sexy email or text message.  In this case, foreplay can last all day while I’m at work.  Jack loves to send me tantalizing messages knowing that I have no means of release, and hours to go before I see him.  In such an instance we know that once I get home from work, all bets are off and the baby had better be taking a nap.  Sometimes I call Jack when I’m on the way home from work, and he talks dirty until I get there.  Then when I arrive, I’m ready to strip and fuck as soon as I walk in the door.  With any luck the baby is sound asleep, or if I’m really lucky Jack has gotten a babysitter and we have a couple hours to ourselves.

As parents, we aren’t guaranteed uninterrupted periods of time for sex.  Sometimes all we have time for is a quickie in the bedroom while our daughter watches half an hour of television elsewhere in the house.  In this case, we might have to skip foreplay altogether.  Some mornings, we wake up before the baby is up and we both want to get off, so we might only engage in foreplay, such as making out followed by oral sex.  Most of the time we both manage to have an orgasm before the baby wakes up, or gets bored with whatever we’ve put in front of her to keep her occupied.

If you want to ask us anything, drop us a line on Formspring.  (You can do so anonymously if you prefer.)  We like sexy questions!