(Image provided by David; artist, Helmut Newton, title unknown)
Julia took his hand in hers and swayed to the music.
“I’m so glad you came back,” she said, leaning in for a kiss. His mouth opened on hers, the dance of their tongues mimicking the movement of their bodies.
Their kiss broke. “I couldn’t stay away. Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life.”
“Give me one good reason why I should take you back,” she said playfully, their mouths coming together again. His hands found her zipper and sent her dress falling to the floor.
“You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted,” he said breathlessly, and lowered his mouth to her breast.
As he licked and sucked, pleasure washed over her and she had to fight the urge to drag him to the master bedroom and have her way with him atop the silken sheets. No…not yet. After what he pulled, he was going to have to earn it.
It was hours later that she understood that he was still gone. Her mind, cracked and failing, sometimes painted the only picture that she could stand to see. (180)
-Jack
Behind the Scenes:
This is the first Erotic Flash Fiction Friday since December 9. Unlike some previous weeks, I knew exactly what my story would be about as soon as I saw the prompt photo. I wrote it in about ten minutes on Thursday afternoon after giving the requirements a cursory glance on Tuesday.
Many of the details in the prompt photo helped to shape the direction of my story. The picture on the wall appears to depict a man, and I considered that this is a past lover for whom the naked woman is pining. The wooden crates in the room, one under the bed and another beside the bed and used as a nightstand, imply poverty, or at the very least an unconventional sense of style.
There is a small stack of what appear to be newspapers on the floor beside the bed, and despite the size I fancied that there are many more out of frame. That she might be a hoarder implied a disconnection from reality which, coupled with her closeness to the mirror gave my story direction. The “hoarder” angle never really took flight, as neither the depicted room nor the woman demonstrate the squalor and lack of upkeep I associate with extreme cases of hoarding.
I was hoping to avoid using this week’s required phrase, “cracked and failing”, to describe Julia’s mental state. To me, that seemed cliche. I considered using it to describe the mirror, something that could certainly be cracked, though the idea of the mirror “failing” seemed a stretch. As a last-ditch attempt to ascribe the phrase to something else, I considered that the ceiling was “cracked and failing” as it would further the idea that Julia’s room was as far from the master bedroom of her delusions and, unlike a mirror, I could see both adjectives being applied to a ceiling. Still, I had neither room nor inspiration to go that route, and in the end the phrase was applied to Julia’s damaged mind.
Deleted Scenes:
This is one of the few instances – if not the only instance – in which I wrote a fairly tight story without a lot of chaff in need of trimming in order to fit the word limit. In fact, I managed to stay eight words shy of the maximum for this week, never once going over. I’m sure that, if necessary, I could come up with some additional details I would add if the word limit was, say, three-hundred: Background on the romance and whatever led to the end of it, as well as details of Julia’s deteriorating mental state. But there is absolutely nothing that I wanted to write beforehand and couldn’t fit.
Soundtrack:
While writing this story, I was listening to Pink Floyd’s 1968 instrumental Careful With that Axe, Eugene. It seems to provide a fitting backdrop to Julia’s delusions.
It’s so true…we see what we want to see. 🙂 Nice imaginative take.
Happy FFF!
Good take! Happy FFF! I had trouble with this one too.
Katia
Very well done. I liked how you got inside her head and brought the story to us.
Syd Barrett!!!
Great example of an unexpected twist at the end after being lulled with the romanticism of the earlier words.
Thanks and here’s to many more FFF for ’12!
Ram
This is so beautiful. I think you took something really magical from the photo. The ending, particularly, is just spectacular.