Happy TMI Tuesday. Let’s play Hoo Doo (Who Do?). Answer the following questions and elaborate as you wish. Your answers can be real and truthful, fun and flirty, or crazy and whacky.

Who or Who(m) do you want to:

Jack’s Answers

1. Play naked twister with?
There are many women with whom I’d enjoy a randy game of naked Twister.  In fact, there are far too many to list.  Because of this, and because I am paranoid about upsetting one of my many sexy online friends by omitting her name from said list, I’m going to cop out and say that if you’ve got boobs and I’ve ever flirted with you (or in some cases, even if I haven’t), I would play naked Twister with you.  While you had your right foot on blue and your left hand on green, and I had my left foot on yellow and my cock on red, I would be tumescent from anticipation of the sex that would follow.

2. Love?
Strange question.  I want to love my wife and my daughter, as well as certain of my relatives and close friends.  Accordingly, I do love them.  After all, it’s not as though loving someone is something one usually aspires to; if someone wishes to love another person, he or she frequently just does it.

3. Excites you beyond belief?
As written, this question reads, “Who or Who(m) do you want to excites you beyond belief?”  I presume that this question should have read “Who or Who(m) excites you beyond belief?” so I will answer it as though that was how it was written.  The person who excites me beyond belief is Jill, because she is the most exciting woman I’ve ever met.  I can’t even wrap my head around how much she turns me on, and that’s pretty much the definition of “beyond belief.”

4. Enjoy ass play with?
I guess it depends on what is meant specifically by the term “ass play”.  Are we talking about rimming?  Fingering?  Fisting?  Full-on anal sex?  For the purposes of answering this question I’m going to rule out pegging, as it’s not really my preferred form of ass play (sorry, ladies).  Regardless of the specific variety of ass play, I’m going to go with Rick Santorum.  I’m not into guys, especially hate-filled right-wing lunatics who consider homosexuality akin to bestiality and child sexual abuse.  And I really don’t want the entire world, especially Jill’s parents, to have to hear or read all the sordid details of a same-sex extra-marital dalliance in which I’ve been involved.  But it would be so worth it to play a role in shaming the former senator from Pennsylvania in front of his supporters, and hopefully killing any future political aspirations he may have.  In fact, when I was done with Santorum, I’d move on to Romney, Gingrich and Perry, just in case.

5. Shower with?
I’ve got a female friend I’ve known since childhood.  Don’t misunderstand; just because she’s been a friend for decades, that doesn’t mean I can’t or don’t have sexual feelings for her.  In our twenties, we used to be gym buddies, and would work out together once or twice a week.  When the workout was over, she went into the women’s locker room, and I went into the men’s locker room.  I wouldn’t have minded going into the same locker room, taking a steamy shower with her, making out under the hot spray, and ideally fingering her clit until she came, biting down on my shoulder to stifle her cries.  (Incidentally, the answer to #1 applies here:  If you’ve got boobs and I’ve ever flirted with you [or in some cases, even if I haven’t], I would like to shower with you.)

6. Undress?
Jill’s friend P, who we hot tubbed with on New Year’s Eve.  Of Jill’s three closest friends, she is the one who I haven’t seen naked, or been in some sort of near-sexual situation with.  She’s attractive, has a beautiful body, and hopefully once she was naked she would return the favor, and then gaze lovingly at my cock, compliment its girth, and make it touch the back of her throat.

7. Rim?
Didn’t question #4 already pertain to the ass?  I’m not engaging in ass play without rimming beforehand.  It’s just common courtesy.

8. Elope with?
No one, thanks.  I’m happily married, and while there is no shortage of people I would like to kiss, make out with, get naked with, shower with, take a bath with, get oral sex from, give oral sex to, fist, fuck, cum in, and cum on, I’m certain I will not be eloping with any of them.

Bonus: Who do you want to wake up in the arms of? Why?
I’m going with Jill.  Yeah, I know, I already wake up in her arms.  But I want to forever.  I trust that “Why?” is not a question that requires answering.

Jill’s Answers

1. Play naked twister with?
The more the merrier!  Twister is the kind of game that’s more fun with a crowd, so it stands to reason that it’s even more fun when the crowd is naked.  There’s something about a sexy tangle of naked bodies, whether they’re on a bed or a Twister mat, that gets me hot.

2. Love?
I love Jack, our daughter, and our family and friends.

3. Excites you beyond belief?
Jack excites me beyond belief.  Lots of men and women turn me on, but I’ve never been turned on by anyone to the extent that I am by Jack.  He can turn me on with a touch, a smile, or even just a look.  All  it takes is a wink and not only am I soaking wet, but my heart swells with love, desire, and contentment.

4. Enjoy ass play with?
Anyone who knows what he or she is doing would be fine with me.  That means asking for permission, and when it’s granted, using lube and going at a pace that I find comfortable.

5. Shower with?
I’d love to take a shower with our Twitter friend and former blogger 13messages, because he sometimes takes sexy pictures of himself in the shower, and it always looks very inviting.  Plus I bet he’d have no trouble getting those hard-to-reach spots on my lower back.

6. Undress?
My old college roommate’s husband would be fun to undress, especially if it leads to sex.  Even if it doesn’t, I would love to see him naked because according to his wife he has a beautiful, thick cock.  I’ve actually come very close to seeing it.  How hot would it be if I finally got to see it after stripping off all his clothes?

7. Rim?
I’ve never rimmed anybody before.  I’m not saying that I wouldn’t, just that I can’t think of anyone whose asshole I might like to lick.  I’ve looked at lots of men and thought, “I would probably suck his cock.”  I’ve never looked at a man or woman and thought, “I’d probably rim this person.”

8. Elope with?
I’m already married.  I’m not eloping with anybody.  When we were planning our wedding, though, it did occur to Jack and I that it would have been quicker, easier, and cheaper to just elope.  Then again, it wouldn’t have been as much fun.

Bonus: Who do you want to wake up in the arms of? Why?
I love waking up in Jack’s arms.  I get a euphoric feeling when I feel his embrace and realize that he is holding me protectively, his warm body against mine.  But once in awhile I would love to wake up in the arms of a beautiful woman.  Bonus points if Jack is there too.  I’ve experienced this once, and I want to do it again, as soon as possible.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!