Credit: Source Unknown
Sabrina leaned against her bedroom wall, listening with bitter envy as her twin sister got fucked in the next room.
Sabrina and Katrina did everything together. They shared a two-bedroom apartment, and even worked at the same café. This particular afternoon a handsome gentleman walked in and sat in Katrina’s section. Sabrina watched from across the café as her sister flirted with him, and when she brought the bill Katrina made sure to include her cell phone number.
Now, as their energetic thrusts rattled Sabrina’s bedroom wall, Sabrina acknowledged that it wasn’t her twin’s fault. She understood chaos theory, and she knew that a slight zephyr might have sent him to Sabrina’s section instead. (114)
-Jack
Behind the Scenes
Once again, Ram the Sunlover is filling in for Panserbjørne this week, and his requirements were a 119-word limit, and the expression “slight zephyr”. As with last week’s prompt, I found myself looking up the word “zephyr”. Yes, I’d heard it before, but I had no tangible knowledge as to its meaning. The word primarily refers to the west wind, or any gentle breeze. I hadn’t yet come up with the chaos theory angle, and I was unsure about the incorporation of the word into the story until I noticed that the two women appeared to be twins. At that point, I quickly devised the storyline in which one twin laments a potential suitor choosing her sister, and rationalizes that a minor initial change – a slight zephyr, accoridng to Sabrina – their positions might have been reversed.
Deleted Scenes
Given the relatively small word limit, I planned the story to be tight and focused. In other words, I knew there wouldn’t be room for numerous scenes or any in-depth plot or character development. The only aspect of the story that changed was the circumstances in which Katrina met the handsome gentleman with whom she eventually has sex. In my earliest concept, the man passes the two sisters on the sidewalk; Katrina happens to be walking in front of Sabrina. In another concept, the twins are eating lunch in a cafe and the handsome gentleman is their waiter.
Soundtrack
Definitely something to do with envy. How about “Green is the Colour” by The Coral, or “Hey Jealousy” by Gin Blossoms?
Awesome. Aural eavesdropping is such an erotic thrill.
I’ve never heard of Flash Fiction and it sounds intriguing. I love the description of how you crafted the story. Thanks for the inspiration!
Nice take. I also wondered if they were twins.
Happy FFF!
I love this…. can you write me a full version of the story? If you have time or are bored one day. I do so enjoy your imagination.
I, too, had to look up zephyr. 🙂 I enjoyed your take on this.
Good story Jack. Twins were on several writers’ minds. Maybe we all should do a chain story someday…hummm…
Thanks for writing this week.
Ram
I liked the way you used the required phrase, too. Twins seem to have all the fun (almost always)! 🙂
Nice work, especially with the twin angle, and the mention of chaos theory. So few understand it, it’s nice to see when people do include it in things.
Enjoyed the story. I have yet to be so lucky to be sharing a house, apartment or hotel for that matter where I have been priveldged to listen… However I know that I have on occasion been heard through thhin walls at an apartment, townhouse, and numerous hotels… Hope someone was able to enjoy what they heard.
Well played. I liked the serendipity of the piece with the cafe and such. Very enjoyable.