1. What star sign are you?
I’m a Leo. Leos are thought to be confident, ambitious, loyal, and generous. This describes me pretty accurately. However, Leos are also described as stubborn, pretentious, and vain. Sadly, this is also an accurate description of me.
2. Do you believe in horoscopes?
No, not really. Accordingly, I must chalk up everything I said in my answer to question #1 to coincidence. I have often pretended to believe, or at least to care, especially in my single days when some chick might have slept with me if I kept a straight face while she talked about which house Jupiter was in.
3. When is your birthday?
Late summer.
One of many ways in which my birthday is like a back-to-school sale.
4. What’s the worst birthday gift a partner has given you?
You know, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a bad birthday gift from a partner. If I have, nothing comes to mind. I think I’ve always been the sort who is grateful that someone thought of me, especially if we’re talking about a relatively new relationship, the stage in which the other person is still getting accustomed to my somewhat eclectic tastes. Under those circumstances I’ve probably made my likes and dislikes known, but I’m certainly not going to react with distaste to a present that may have been purchased or made with the best of intentions but which fell a bit short of the mark.
5. Are you organised when it comes to other people’s birthdays?
Not even slightly. Sure, I have some important birthdays committed to memory, notably Jill’s, my parents’, and certain friends’. With other people I might know what week their birthdays are but not the specific date. But with the vast majority of my friends and family, if no Facebook reminder comes through, I’ll probably miss it.
6. How do you normally celebrate your birthday?
I usually get naked and put on a fez. Then I light up my favorite briar pipe, and sit in a comfortable chair while listening to Mozart’s Requiem and contemplating the futility of existence, my own dwindling time left on earth, or some combination of the two. Or if that’s too honest for you, I like to celebrate with family and friends, usually with good food and drink.
Sometimes there’s a stripper.
7. If you could be one age again what would it be? Why?
I don’t know how to answer this one. If I say I would like to relive my early twenties, a time of tremendous freedom and fun, it sounds like I am not happy with my relationship with Jill as we hadn’t met until I was much older. If I say that I would like to relive one of the early years of our relationship, say when I was twenty-eight or twenty-nine, an almost-as-carefree time before we were married, someone might misconstrue that as an insult toward my daughter. You know what? I love my life right now. Ask me this question again in a few years and I’ll say thirty-five.
8. What would be your ideal birthday treat?
When I was younger, my birthday brought with it much spectacle and fanfare, but as I get older – and moreso now that I’m a Dad – I see that my birthday is just another day. Make no mistake, I don’t have issues with birthdays because I’m afraid of aging. But when my birthday arrives the end of summer isn’t far behind. While this fact never escaped my mind when I would blow out my candles as a child, I used to really look forward to my birthday as a “last hurrah” before returning to school. Of late, however, Jill’s school year has begun on or immediately following my birthday. With the start of her school year comes my return to full-time stay-at-home Dad duties. So the ideal treat for me would be to have a little more time between my birthday and the end of my summer vacation.
Not what I meant, smart-ass.
Bonus: Tell us your best birthday memory?
For my birthday in 2010, we had a threesome with another woman. It was a phenomenal experience for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that I’d been wanting to experience such a thing for decades. It was infinitely more fulfilling with my wife and best friend than it likely would have been with someone I was dating casually or cared less about than I do Jill. But perhaps more importantly, the fact that Jill arranged the threesome without my knowledge proved not only that she was willing to go to any lengths to ensure my birthday was a memorable one, but also that she trusted me implicitly, and didn’t view my interactions with another woman as a threat to our relationship. I learned a lot about my wife that night. Additionally the threesome occurred at my in-laws’ house while no one was there. That in and of itself may have made it extra dirty. It bears noting that I also got a threesome for my birthday in 2011, which was perhaps even more memorable because the three of us went out to dinner beforehand, and spent the entire meal shamelessly flirting. The level of sexual tension was amped up to eleven. Three guesses what I want for my birthday this year…
You guessed wrong.
Bonus, Bonus: May we see you in your birthday suit? (post a photo)
Listen to you, asking politely! With manners like these, I imagine you can have anything you want.
Originally posted April 9, 2012.
Jill’s Answers
1. What star sign are you?
I’m a virgo. Jack thinks this is funny because Virgo is symbolized by the virgin maiden, and its glyph is an “M” combined with crossed legs. There may have been a time when I was a prim and proper virgin, but it’s been awhile.
I always thought it was an “M” combined with a fish.
2. Do you believe in horoscopes?
Only when they say something good is going to happen to me. I refuse to give any credence to a horoscope that predicts bad things. Truthfully, I never really read them. There was a time when I’d see my horoscope in the back of a Cosmopolitan magazine and read it, but I never deliberately sought it out. On the other hand, when we visit Disneyland I make a point of putting twenty-five cents in the fortune telling machine at the Penny Arcade on Main Street, U.S.A. (Ironic that a machine in a penny arcade costs a quarter to operate, but there you have it.)
Despite Jack’s claims, putting a dollar in the machine won’t make her pole-dance.
3. When is your birthday?
I’m a bit offended by this! If you can’t remember something as important as my birthday, then I’m not going to tell you. Seriously, people I hadn’t gone out with or even spoken to in six to eight months have remembered to call or text me on my birthday because I made clear how important it was to me when we were dating. Actually, now that I think of it that was kind of creepy, especially since I had usually moved on to a new guy by that point.
4. What’s the worst birthday gift a partner has given you?
I can’t think of one. I don’t have any stories about someone buying me a bowling ball with “Homer” on it. And I’ve never had a boyfriend buy me a Norelco beard trimmer with his name on it. I guess the closest I’ve ever come to a bad birthday gift was the time my boyfriend was supposed to take me out on my birthday. I waited all night for him to call, and finally I broke down and called him and left a voicemail. He finally called me the next morning and said he was called in to work the night before. He just didn’t bother to tell me. I broke up with him soon after.
Still, it’s not the worst faux pas a boyfriend can commit.
5. Are you organised when it comes to other people’s birthdays?
When it comes to Jack and our daughter, I am very organized. Usually their birthdays involve planning parties or other elaborate activities. With everyone else’s birthdays, meaning my extended family and my close friends, I know when their birthdays are, but I usually find myself buying their gifts that day. In some cases if I don’t see the individual on his or her actual birthday, I might buy the gift weeks later.
6. How do you normally celebrate your birthday?
Jack usually takes me out to dinner, while the baby stays with a sitter. I’ve also gone out to dinner with my family and friends. It varies. Last year, for example, for my fortieth birthday, Jack threw me an enormous surprise party and invited all of my nearest and dearest. It was a fabulous time.
7. If you could be one age again what would it be? Why?
I choose age thirty-eight. That’s when I was pregnant with our beautiful daughter. It was a wonderful experience and a very fun year. Even though I was forced to spend most of that time living a couple hours away from Jack and the home we shared, we made the most of the time we had together, and really appreciated every minute. Plus, the anticipation of seeing and holding my baby was tremendous. I’ve never felt so close to another human being in my entire life, and knowing that she was completely reliant on me, and that I was responsible for her, means more to me now than I can ever express. I loved watching her development, talking to her, singing to her, and feeling her move and kick inside me. Once she was born, the experience of bonding with her was very special to me. Jack and I became even closer than we were before.
Well yeah, but that wasn’t what I meant.
8. What would be your ideal birthday treat?
I’d love a trip to Europe or a Mediterranean cruise. But spending time with the people I love would be more than enough.
Bonus: Tell us your best birthday memory?
The surprise birthday party Jack threw for me last year was wonderful! It was a beautiful day, most of my loved ones were there, and I was so touched by the amount of hard work that Jack put into it. Plus, I was very impressed that he managed to keep it a secret. I know how difficult it was for him to coordinate everything perfectly, and he pulled it off. What a great guy!
Bonus, Bonus: May we see you in your birthday suit? (post a photo)
Like you haven’t seen me in my birthday suit many times already.
Originally posted February 26, 2012
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Edited Tuesday, June 19, 2012 at 6:17 PM to include Jill’s somehow-omitted answer to #5.
I am like Jack sometimes FB reminds me. Usually that is like my BFF birthday. I have never been able to remember her birthday. I think there is a reason behind that. See I thought it would suck to have my birthday fall in the summer out of school. I have 2 boys who never got crap outta school for their birthdays, and the youngest comes home with crowns and stickers and medals. Yeah summer birthday can suck when you are a kid. Although I think the cake I got this year kinda made up for that.
Jill I find it interesting for his birthday he got 3 somes, for your birthday you got a big get together surprise party. I would say it is classic proof of sexual mindsets between sexes, however I am kinda jealous of Jack. Ya know since I want a 3 some just preferably not another woman, unless we move it to a 4some at which point I choose you and Jack. Ahem. Love both of your birthday suits. Jill you just kill me in the heels. Maybe because I can’t wear them and you do and make them look so easy and sexy for clutzy I would break a leg woman like myself.
it’s never TMI with you two . . .
Happy Tuesday!
Fun post and great answers, guys. I might have to play along this week.
I always love your answers. I am glad I was not the only one who couldn’t recall a bad gift from a partner.
Surprise party. Glad you liked yours, but I think they are dangerous. And too much trouble. The closest we come in out house is when one of us stops at the store for something special for dinner. Like cole slaw.
Or, and this is better, bakes muffins.
@Jack:
1. I can’t quit laughing. Why? My mom is a Leo. You know who she’s a lot like? Hyacinth on “Keeping Up Appearances”. Nuff said.
2. Hey! I’m ruled by Jupiter…the number 3 and all.
6. Graphic and commentary are hilarious.
Bonus: Your Jill is awesome.
I confess that I was the one who wrote the bonus questions (though HnS could have just as easily), cuz I’m a perv who likes to see naked people 🙂 🙂
—————
@Jill
1. Naww…can’t be.
3. I remember it…I just didn’t want to blurt it out in case there were stalkers or something.
4. What a dick head!
6. Nice.
Bonus, bonus: Oh honey that pic will do it…did it…love it!!!
-H
* i don’t normally buy socks, i let them gather holes until they are beyond repair, but i’d happily buy two from Martin Short selling them
* second-to-last pic: 3-2-1…CONTACT
* last pic: absolutely gorgeous
Jack:
2. How wrong is it that after I read this I said to myself, in my most ghetto voice, “Jupiter in da his-ouse!”
5. Thank goodness for the Facebook birthday reminders!
6. You have a fez and a briar pipe too?! 😉
7. I don’t think any of those answers would be disrespectful to where you are or the people in your life currently.
Bonus: Very impressive.
Jill:
2. I’ve never put money in the fortune telling machine at Disneyland, but will make sure to the next time we’re there, just for you!
4. Kudos on The Simpsons reference!
5. Where art thou, number 5?!?!
7. So sweet and touching. I want this experience so badly…
Bonus: It sounded like a blast. Sorry we missed it. 🙁
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As always, it’s fun to read your answers although right now I’m feeling partial to the sexy birthday suit pics.
My birthday is mid-summer and now I wanna threesome for my birthday too! I volunteer to make Jill’s planning easy and grant 2 birthday wishes at the same time. Just sayin’…
Great job telling us about your birthdays. I’m the same way as Jack when it comes to birthday now, it is becoming more and more of just another day, just with dinner I didn’t cook thrown in. Great birthday memories too!
always a treat to read 🙂
My wife is a Leo as well, Jack…and those qualities describe her pretty well also.
Great answers as always you two. Always fun to read both sides!
Jack
6. Like the way you celebrate on both accounts. 🙂 I’d love to see a photo with the fez. LOL!
Bonus: May your birthday wishes continue to come true.
Jill
7. What a wonderful experience. I enjoyed reading about it.
8. That’s a terrific birthday treat. I hope you’re able to fufill it sooon.
Bonus: Another wonderful birthday memory! Love it!