This week’s TMI Tuesday questions are about gettin’ off. When you need it, you just gotta get it anyway you can. (For those who are innocent babies “IT” is sex)
Jack’s Answers
1. Have you ever initiated a booty call?
Yes. I’ve done it most frequently with a phone call, and less frequently with a text message. Also, back when I had a pager I would occasionally initiate via pager code, a complicated series of numeric sequences meant to represent words on pagers that could only transmit numerals, i.e. phone numbers. For instance, “What are you doing tonight?” would be represented by the following: 111487 8123 11 001176 70171647. You kids today and your smartphones with SMS and instant messaging capabilities. You all don’t know how good you’ve got it.
Also, get off my lawn.
2. Have you ever accepted a booty call?
Yes. You must know by now that unless the invitation was so vague as to be easily misinterpreted, I’m not the sort to turn down sex.
“Ohhh, you said sweep together. Sorry, I misunderstood.”
3. Ever had a “friend with benefits” relationship? How long did it last? Are you still friends or acquaintances with that person? Are you still having sex with that friend?
Yes I have, though in most cases when I’ve had an ongoing, emotionless sexual relationship it’s been with an ex-girlfriend or someone I tried unsuccessfully to date beforehand. In many of my relationships I’ve found that even when we weren’t a good fit as a couple, the sex was still pretty great and it would have been a shame to stop having sex. Typically these arrangements lasted only until one of us moved onto something more meaningful, i.e. she decided she wanted to fuck (or more likely date) someone else. I specifically recall a young woman around my own age with whom I had such an arrangement during my first semester of college. This was eighteen years ago, and I don’t recall either of us referring to it as “friends with benefits”. For that matter I don’t recall either of us referring to it as anything, actually. Not even “dating”; after a couple clunky attempts at actually going out on a date our contact with one another outside of class was limited to sex. While I’m still friends (or at least acquaintances) with a couple of my former bedmates, I don’t still have contact with anyone with whom I had a true ongoing “friends with benefits” relationship.
4. Tell us about your best one-night stand, what made it so good?
The first time I picked someone up in a bar, I was newly twenty-one, virile, confident, and in possession of an impressive sexual stamina that rivals my current prowess. I found myself at a local bar one night after class. The place was only sparsely packed, and a young divorcée caught my eye. I sat next to her at the bar, and as I tried to figure out how to strike up a conversation she saved me the effort. She asked me about something inconsequential – the music that played over an antique jukebox, if memory serves – and things progressed from there. We talked about our jobs, our families, and TV shows. When she finished her drink I bought her another. She got the next round, and suggested we continue getting to know each other at either my place or hers. Unwilling to reveal that I still lived with my parents, I opted for hers. I followed her back to her place, worried every minute that I’d miss a traffic light or something and get lost. Remember, this was long before GPS or even cell phones were ubiquitous. But I managed to keep up, and I was rewarded handsomely for my success. The sex was great, but what really stands out in my mind with regard to that night all those years ago was the sense of accomplishment I got from picking up this woman and taking her to bed.
5. When was your last one-night stand?
I’m not sure this counts, exactly, as it was with someone I already knew prior to the sex, but here goes: Shortly before meeting Jill, I got a call from a female friend I knew in college. We hadn’t seen each other in about four years, though we would occasionally email or IM. There was never any real romantic interest or sexual tension, but I always found her attractive, and I suspect she felt the same way. She had been living out of the area – I want to say overseas somewhere – and had recently moved back in with her parents. I drove an hour or so to hang out with her on some random weekday evening. We took a walk through a local park, talked about our lives, and got caught up. Then we went back to her place, she made me dinner, and we played chess. After her parents went to bed she indicated that she wanted me to stay the night. I did, despite the fact that I had no toothbrush, no change of clothes, no eye drops or case for my contact lenses, and a new job starting the next day. I’m not sorry about it either; the sex was very good, even considering the fact that I had to wake up at four o’clock in order to get home in time to shower and prepare for my first day on the job. Wow, that was almost a decade ago.
6. What’s the grimiest, dirtiest place that you’ve had sex?
I’ve never done it in a dark, trash-filled alley, so I’m going to go with a dank, stuffy hallway in the rear of a dive bar. We made out, this particular young lady and I, and then I fingered her through her panties with her skirt hiked up. Emboldened by alcohol, my hand slipped inside her panties briefly, and then we had sex in standing doggy position before we both chickened out and decided to stop. The hallway led to the restrooms, and there was no way we were going to be able to keep it up for long without being caught. This location certainly qualified as nasty, and not in the good way. Having been to the bar recently I can say that nothing has changed. Honorable mention goes to the bedroom of a girl I briefly dated in my twenties. We had sex at my place the first few times, and when it came time to do it at her house, I had to seriously re-think the relationship. I’m not trying to be judgmental at all; I’m certainly not the tidiest, most organized guy in the world. But the level of chaos I found in this person’s bedroom was such that for the duration of the relationship, such as it was, I refused to stay the night for fear that I’d wake up covered in cockroaches. Forget dirty clothes strewn about the room – she had dirty dishes that I’m guessing went back more than a few days.
Bonus: What’s the one random thing you wish your friends knew about you?
That I want to fuck their wives, obviously.
Jill’s Answers
1. Have you ever initiated a booty call?
Yes, I have initiated quite a few booty calls. Most of them were with my boyfriend’s friend, the guy who kissed me in the bathroom at his party. You can read about this incident here.
2. Have you ever accepted a booty call?
Yes, from the same guy in question #1. He had a habit of calling me at two in the morning, and by three o’clock I’d be at his house or a hotel room. He was an amazing lay, and the sex made for some great nights that I still remember fondly today. The last time I accepted a booty call from him was September 10, 2001. The next morning, I didn’t find out about the attack on the Twin Towers until I got to work because I had stayed the night with him, and I was in such a rush to get to work that I didn’t get a chance to watch the news as I normally did.
3. Ever had a “friend with benefits” relationship? How long did it last? Are you still friends or acquaintances with that person? Are you still having sex with that friend?
Yes I have. It lasted about a year, and we are not still friends. However, I did run into him about a year ago at the grocery store. He said I looked hot, and asked if I was still willing to hook up. I told him that I was married and would have to check with my husband. He seemed embarrassed and changed the subject. Needless to say, he didn’t call me. His loss, of course.
4. Tell us about your best one-night stand, what made it so good?
I met this guy one night at a singles mixer. We talked all night, never leaving the other’s side. Afterward, he drove me home. He parked in my driveway and we made out for awhile. I was already turned on by his amazing tongue, but then he started to lick my hand and I realized that there was no way I was letting him leave until he fucked me. I don’t know why, but that was the hottest thing ever. We went in and he treated my body to experiences I could never have imagined. His focus was on me the entire time, and he gave me the best orgasms I had ever had up until that point in my life. I came over and over until I lay quivering in a pool of sweat and my own juices. When he had eaten his fill of me, we had amazing sex and I continued to orgasm throughout. For awhile, he was the standard by which I judged my partners. I would have loved to have had more, but we didn’t get around to exchanging numbers, and I never saw him again.
Not to be confused with my best nightstand.
5. When was your last one-night stand?
February 2004, with the guy who was my answer to #4.
6. What’s the grimiest, dirtiest place that you’ve had sex?
The bathroom at a gas station. I would share more details, but I think this incident would make a good blog post in and of itself.
Bonus: What’s the one random thing you wish your friends knew about you?
That I can squirt, and that I’d love to teach them how if they’d like to learn.
There’s nothing to it!
Thank you for sharing. I quite enjoyed your posts and thought about a booty call I would make.
Loved your answers, as usual! Maybe if we lived closer my answers about booty calls would change 😉
~Kazi xxx
As always great answers guys.
It is strange how we all remember what happened on the morning of the twin towers. Kind of like the question ‘What were you doing when Elvis died?’
I loved Jill’s one night stand answer. I wish I had an experience like that to remember when I get old.
great post…thx for sharing. jill, let’s pretend we are friends. teach me how to squirt and tell me why i would want to. i got the g spot and clit part down but how do i make it happen? is there pushing involved?
I can’t speak for Jill, but I normally insert anywhere from two fingers (usually three) up to my whole hand, and press down (or up, depending on her position) on her G-spot. She finds it most comfortable and satisfying when she is lying on her stomach, though we regularly do it when she is lying on her back. She doesn’t enjoy it as much when she’s on all fours, but go figure: I frequently hit her G-spot when we are fucking doggy style, with explosive results. I’ve never thought of the movement as a push, exactly. But there is definitely pressure involved. We actually wrote a blog post on the subject years ago.
Both of ya’ll would be top of my FWB list period. Jill I had a FWB like you described in 4, best part is he was like that every time. Jack it sounds like you described my oldest son’s gf in the worst place. She is a slob, I am not walk in the park but yeah the dishes gets to me every time.When we finally got her out of here I found plates under his bed and between the mattresses. I literally washed the whole room down. Bllleeeccchh..
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error, does not compute, human interference
oh, hi guys, hi jj, managed to fix the booty call text system just in time before the computers took over and ushered in an age of robotic sex
squirt…loved that…*smiled*
Jack, I can totally relate to your bonus answer, but for me it would be husband (or both). 😉
Jill, that guy from your one night stand sounds amazing. I want one. 😀
I’m WAY too tired and scattered to give these answers the read they deserve. I shall do it anon.
Great answers! I have to admit that Jack’s one night stand answer caught me. Since he sometimes has very tongue in cheek responses, it took a minute to realize it was a serious answer! As always, the pictures and captions made me laugh. I loved Jill’s answer to #4 – too bad they all couldn’t be like that!
You guys always have such great answers to these things. The pictures don’t hurt either.
@Jack:
pics/comments #1 and #2 made me laugh so hard.
5. Are you still in touch with that woman? IM, text, whatever?
6. Eeeewww on the nasty girlfriend. I’ve learned, the hard way, that how a person lives or keeps their home says a lot about them as a person. Unfortunately, I had never dated or knew anyone that lived in complete chaos or filth. When I did, I was alarmed but made excuses and let it go and got into a relationship. Boy, is hindsight 20/20 and the state of his living conditions could have been my little crystal ball and saved me the headaches that followed.
@Jill:
On the subject of squirting. You know how I don’t normally squirt? Well last night my pussy was eaten for hours to the point of my just feeling like I was going to urinate but couldn’t. I was having tiny orgasms but nothing big. I was enjoying the cunnilingus from several different positions. Then he fucked me with an ice cold glass dildo. Good lord!!! I squirted…gushed 3 separate times. I soaked the bed. I have never done that…I was kind of embarrassed (not really); he was thrilled.
You heard it here folks, and only here. 😉
-H
@hedone
sounds like you had fun last night….good for you. regarding the squirt, did it just happen or did you bear down and push it out?
Well now that I’ve had time to finally READ the answers in depth:
Jack- I agree with you about kids being spoiled by cell phones. I have a very dear Deaf friend, and he had multiple codes for things on his pager before texting. People had codes, call me now or later, need to talk to you, etc. I can’t imagine being Deaf and dealing with that kind of thing before texting. He actually refers to his iPhone as his pager.
And “kids” these days with their GPS and everything else….. we are the stronger generation. We can, have, and know HOW to survive without technology if necessary. I still know my Dewey decimal and sometimes miss card catalogues. The bit about you following the dicvorcee gave me a smile.
and the gal with the nasty apartment, uh ICK. I don’t think I would have stuck with a guy that filthy. I’d always be worried about bugs sneaking from his clothes to my car, bag, house, et al.
Jill– I’m thrilled for you, that you had such a wonderful experience for your one-night stand. If you ever run into him again, feel free to mail him to Saint Louis. I’ll reminburse you for postage. 😀
and while I don’t squirt, with a really good orgasm I tend to make quite a mess. I often stop myself from continuing once I take the edge off because I don’t want to deal with it. I sometimes choose the shower for that very reason. I’m afraid I don’t see the appeal of squirting. Mean’s you’ve got some great muscles down there, though.
Did the little one just pop right out, hard and fast?