What question have you asked for Formspring Friday that you most wish you could answer?
(Submitted by Cougar in Training)
It’s funny you should ask. We have in fact answered at least one of our own Formspring questions (“Which do you believe is worse: Physical infidelity, or emotional fidelity?“). If a topic intrigues us as much as this one did, we see no reason not to get a blog post out of it. However, looking at most of the Formspring questions we’ve asked others, it seems like a lot of our answers are already fairly common knowledge, or in some cases so simple that we’d be hard-pressed to get an entire post out of them. One question, however, really stands out. It’s something about which we’ve talked about blogging for quite some time, and given the opportunity we’ll gladly do so now. Here goes.
Do you watch commercially available mainstream porn? Why or why not?
Yes we do. However, it is definitely not our preference. Long gone are the days when porn was so inaccessible that we had to settle for – and masturbate to – whatever we could find, usually a grainy VHS tape or some softcore flick on late-night Cinemax. Today porn is nearly ubiquitous; anyone who wants to watch it should have little or no difficulty finding some. The sheer variety of porn that is available on the internet – for free and without having to speak to another human being in order to watch it – is breathtaking, and would make our adolescent selves fall to our knees and praise the gods of porn for smiling upon us.
Why, then, does so much mainstream porn absolutely squick us? We’re guessing that it has something to do with its ready availability. With porn available more or less on demand, viewers are likely to develop a tolerance. The things that once aroused a viewer to the point of orgasm no longer work. Looking at a naked woman used to be sufficient. Then watching two people have sex used to be sufficient. Then watching three people having sex used to be sufficient. Then watching a woman take a double facial used to be sufficient, and so on. As a result, mainstream commercial porn has to keep moving in order to stay relevant. Unlike the smaller studios, the big production houses all seem to follow the same trends, many of which are extreme and, at least in our opinion, really unsexy. Don’t get me wrong, we’re very pro-kink and see nothing wrong with just about any sexual practice as long as it’s performed by consenting adults and then viewed by consenting adults. We watch porn that features a variety of sex acts, from tribadism to fisting to facials to double penetration. And we enjoy it, because the performers appear to be enjoying themselves. That’s actually a huge factor in our enjoyment of porn.
One thing that doesn’t turn us on is degradation of women, an inexplicably growing trend in porn that we’d like to see killed with extreme prejudice. While we’re not the sort to condemn artists for the effect their art may have on the public that consumes it, we do feel that the depiction of women as objects worthy of ridicule, humiliation, or abuse contributes to a culture that encourages not only wholesale misogyny but also victim-blaming. Call us old-fashioned, call us prudes, but we don’t need nor do we want to see a woman shoved into a dog kennel and forced to eat Alpo out of a bowl. Watching a woman wearing a toilet seat as a collar isn’t going to get us hot. Watching a guy pull a woman’s mouth open as though he’s trying to give her lockjaw – what the fuck, unsexy and unimaginative porn producers? What is the turn-on here, exactly? And what the hell is up with all the fucking spitting?
We understand that some people, both men and women, like these things. We also understand that rape is a popular fantasy among men and women alike. We have no problem with consenting adults exploring this fantasy, nor do we have any issue with rape-themed pornography being produced to facilitate this exploration. But it’s one thing to watch a professional porn star pretending to be scared for her safety as the two cops who pulled her over ask her to step out of the car. It’s another thing altogether to watch a twenty-year-old let herself get poked, prodded, and fucked by several guys because she desperately needs money. We’ll wager that she’s not acting, and that the fear in her eyes is genuine. Now, we’ll grant you that she’s an adult, that the producers disclosed everything that would happen during her scene, and that she signed the contract anyway. We’ll grant you that there are other ways to make a buck and this one probably wasn’t the right one for her. Just don’t expect us to be turned on by the scenario.
Basically, the performers need to act like they want to be there or we won’t be into it. Even if a scene features something that we consider a turn-off personally, healthy attitudes on the part of the performers will probably ensure that we’ll at least give it a look. That’s why we prefer so-called “homemade” porn, often literally shot in someone’s home, featuring non-professionals and frequently not intended for distribution. While a professional porn star may look like they’re having a great time, they’re getting paid to do so.
We need some sexy questions! If you’d like to ask one please drop us a line on Formspring, or use the handy Formspring widget on the right-hand side of our blog. To see who else participated this week, search #FormspringFriday on Twitter! If you have a Formspring account and you aren’t already participating, feel free to join in the Formspring Friday fun!
I really don’t get into watching porn honestly because I’d prefer to watch two people who are into it because they’re into it, not because they’re being paid to. People who record their fun and put it out there for others to see are hotter than any scripted porn in the world for me.
Though… I don’t see how anyone being shoved into a dog kennel and forced to eat dog food could be sexy, eek. That would turn me off fast. As would a toilet seat being used for a collar or for any reason really. Eek.
Excellent post on several counts. I’ve noticed that I also jump around between different types of porn, as I start to find it repetitive and boring. I agree wholeheartedly on the spitting comment – it’s something I find almost ruins the porn for me and I just don’t “get” it. Of course, someone else might not “get” my kinks. Speaking of kinks, I even learned a new word via your post. I now know something I’ve thought of often has a special name – tribadism!
Some of the things that turn people on simply throw me for a loop. I agree women are not degradable objects and that would turn me off to no end. Like you I prefer real people just doing their own thing that doesn’t have a thing to do with making money but the act of pure pleasure for all involved. THAT is a turn on
I also learned a new word today: tribadism. So thank you for that!
Very well written and well thought out post. You hit on a number of very key points here that I completely agree with!