Jack’s Answers

1. How addicted are you? You are in a rush, there is no time to make your morning coffee or stop to buy it. However, you can save time and get your “energy high” by brushing your teeth with a caffeine-infused toothbrush. Would you buy and use this product? Why or why not?
No.  I’ve never needed caffeine in the mornings.  I don’t drink coffee, and I’ve never been one to imbibe energy drinks.  I’m not trying to make myself sound like some kind of awesome guy – I can be pretty lazy when I have the opportunity – but while I may not always relish getting up in the morning I do so because I need to, and I always have, whether I’m getting up for school, for work, or to raise my daughter.  But everyone I know seems to be as functional as a lobotomized earthworm before they’ve stopped at Starbucks for their daily venti triple-caf megafrappumacchiato.  I guess I just don’t see the big deal.

2. You made a sex list of all the things you’d like to do but haven’t done. The list was lost and discovered by your boss at work. He/she ask if they can help you tick a few items off the list. What do you say?
Depends on the boss.  If it’s Christine, who I worked for in my twenties, then the answer is an enthusiastic hell yes.  She was attractive, fun, and very sexy, and based on a single experience, an amazing lay who managed to live up to my fantasies – and I had many.

3. Sex around the house. Have you ever been bent over the kitchen counter or bent a lover over the kitchen counter and fucked? What did you like most about it? What did you like least?
I’ve never been bent over the kitchen counter, but then I’m not one to get bent over anything.  Not that there’s anything wrong with receiving; it’s just not my particular kink, nor has it been any of my partners’ thusfar.  However, I have bent many a partner over various counters including not only the kitchen counter but the bathroom counter as well.  I’ve also bent Jill over our dining room table a half hour or so before dinner guests arrived, ostensibly because there wasn’t enough pressure to get everything prepared before the doorbell rang.  In our current home, however, the kitchen is set up in such a way as to make fucking up against the counter a bit too cramped for our liking, so when we need to have sex in the kitchen we usually do it against the wall in the narrow space between the refrigerator and the counter.

4. Sexting…How do you really feel about it?

a. Meh? Not my thing.

b. Can take it or leave it, usually have to be begged to do it

c. I like it, it’s like foreplay.

d. Love it! I’m always sending naughty notes and steamy pics.

e. What’s your number? I have a daily sexting list, wanna sign up?

I’d probably opt for (d), as it describes the frequency with which I find myself involved in sexy exchanges via my phone with only a slight exaggeration (“nearly always” would have been more accurate).  But to not select (e) is to deprive myself of the opportunity to solicit new sexting partners, so even though I don’t actually have a list, I may as well go with that.  I’m a stay at home parent who requires physical non-monogamy but for whom physical non-monogamy is an occasional treat at best, so I need to divest myself of the external trappings of stay at home parenthood in any fashion possible.  Without sexting I might have gone mad years ago.

“So what are you wearing?”

5. What do you love to sniff? Why?

Honestly?  Jill’s arousal.  There’s no other way to put it.  I love the way she smells when she’s sexually excited, preferably just after she’s had an orgasm or two.

After years of non-stop stay at home parenthood, cocaine is an acceptable answer as well.

Bonus: What is it? Explain how you would use it.

It’s a cock cage, something of which I would never have heard were it not for Dan Savage’s ads for Extreme Restraints.  Specifically, it’s a model known as Rubber Gates of Hell, something I learned by dropping the above image into Google Image Search.  (No, I did not cheat.  I did the image search after deducing that it was a cock cage.)  As for how I would use it, I wouldn’t.  My cock can’t be caged.

Jill’s Answers

1. How addicted are you? You are in a rush, there is no time to make your morning coffee or stop to buy it. However, you can save time and get your “energy high” by brushing your teeth with a caffeine-infused toothbrush. Would you buy and use this product? Why or why not?

It wouldn’t be coffee-scented, would it?  If so, definitely not.  When I brush my teeth, I want them to be minty-fresh, so if they could make it mint-flavored I would consider it.  Actually does it have to be the toothbrush that is infused with caffeine?  Why not just infuse the toothpaste?

To be honest, this is all the wake-up I need.

2. You made a sex list of all the things you’d like to do but haven’t done. The list was lost and discovered by your boss at work. He/she ask if they can help you tick a few items off the list. What do you say?

If it was the boss I had at my previous job, or the boss I had two jobs ago, absolutely.  Especially the boss I had two jobs ago.  He was hot.  But my current boss?  Fuck no.  He’s old and creepy.

Pictured: My current boss.

3. Sex around the house. Have you ever been bent over the kitchen counter or bent a lover over the kitchen counter and fucked? What did you like most about it? What did you like least?

I’ve definitely had some hot kitchen sex in my life, as this Sinful Sunday from 2012 will demonstrate.  But as for the specific scenario described in the question, being bent over the kitchen counter and fucked, no I have not.  Well, not in our current house, anyway.  We have a really narrow kitchen, and me being bent over the counter would result in Jack being squashed between my ass and the stove.  (Not that I think he’d have a problem with that while it was happening.)  But we’ve definitely done it up against the wall in our kitchen.  And bent over the kitchen counter in our last two houses.  We need a bigger kitchen.

4. Sexting…How do you really feel about it?

a. Meh? Not my thing.

b. Can take it or leave it, usually have to be begged to do it

c. I like it, it’s like foreplay.

d. Love it! I’m always sending naughty notes and steamy pics.

e. What’s your number? I have a daily sexting list, wanna sign up?

I would say somewhere between (c) and (d).  “I love it” is closer to my feelings on the subject than just “I like it”, but I’m definitely not always sending hot messages and pictures to sexy friends.  When I have the ability, I really enjoy it.  Unfortunately I don’t have the ability as often as I would like.  My average day is spent actively teaching children.  I can’t be checking my phone every couple minutes, and I definitely can’t take a break and get myself off when things get too steamy.  Of course, summer isn’t far away, and I’m hoping to be able to partake a bit more often once I’m on vacation!

5. What do you love to sniff? Why?

That distinctive morning bakery smell.  You might know the one I mean:  Freshly baked bread and pastries, plus coffee.  That aroma is so evocative to me, not to mention delicious.  Sorry if you thought my answer was going to be sexier than that.

Although this is pretty erotic.

Bonus: What is it? Explain how you would use it.

This is a cock cage.  It is a chastity device that a guy wears over his cock and balls to inhibit stimulation and orgasm.  Either that, or it’s some kind of binder thing for loose-leaf notebook pages.

Much cheaper at Office Depot, and available in a variety of colors!

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!