In the U.S.A. there is a late-night talk show hosted by comedian/writer Conan O’Brien.
I had not seen Conan O’Brien show for several years. Recently, I decided to watch it and I heard these questions for TMI Tuesday.
TMI & Conan O’Brien
Jack’s Answers
1. One thing I will never comprehend is ____ .
Math. Don’t get me wrong, I get the basic stuff well enough. I can certainly do simple algebra, although after almost twenty years without using any of it I’ll probably need a refresher course. But anything past geometry? You might as well be trying to teach me how to use gills to breathe underwater. Simply put, even relatively basic math is not my strong suit, and while I’d love to have been one of those kids who excelled at the subject in high school, I was instead blessed with extraordinary writing ability and a better-than-average grasp of the English language. (As you are undoubtedly aware.)
2. My blood type is ____ .
Something positive. A-positve? I’m going to go with A-positive, if only because Jill says it is, and of the two of us she is the more responsible one. I remember birthdays and anniversaries, and she remembers blood types.
To be fair, she also remembers birthdays and anniversaries.
3. I am pretty healthy for ____ .
A fairly sedentary man in his late thirties who has never been in particularly good shape nor remotely concerned with his physical well-being.
I do slightly better with my mental well-being.
4. When I really cannot sleep I ____ .
Sometimes masturbate. I know what you’re thinking: Sometimes? You probably assumed that would be my first move. After all, I enjoy masturbating and do it often. It is a natural sleep aid, not to mention a fantastic way to kill some time on a sleepless night. But I am often more likely to pick up my phone and check a few favorite websites, perhaps scroll through my Twitter timeline and do a bit of flirting. Oftentimes what happens is that my flirty tweets get the attention of one or more of my sexy Twitter friends, but by the time they reply I am fast asleep.
5. You never forget your ____ .
Oven is on.
Learned that one the hard way.
6. As a child my favorite pet was ____ .
An actual animal, unlike Jill who is my favorite pet as an adult.
Pictured here.
Bonus: This week’s question comes from The Late Phoenix – “Why was fuck chosen as the ultimate swear word? It coulda easily been duck.”
I’m guessing it’s because of the word’s association with sex. Collectively, society – I’m speaking of American society in particular – seems to have a huge stick up its ass, and not in a good way, when it comes to sex. Much of the civilized world is made up of puritanical killjoys who at least publicly seem to regard sex in much the same fashion as they would a dental appointment or a trip to the DMV. Therefore it makes sense that the powers that be would assign “absolute worst expletive” status to a word that describes sexual intercourse. I’ve never understood why “fuck” is a dirty word, but “kill” is perfectly acceptable in polite company. It seems like hypocrisy of the worst sort. Imagine if calling someone a motherkiller was the worst epithet imaginable. I know I’d rather hang out with a motherfucker than a motherkiller. Ironically, “fuck” is generally considered to have been derived from a Germanic word, and if you’ve ever watched German porn you know that there’s very little that’s off-limits.
Jill’s Answers
1. One thing I will never comprehend is ____ .
Reality TV. I just don’t see the entertainment value, or even the purpose, of glorifying stupid people who allow their horrible life choices to be broadcast for the entertainment of the masses. In fact, I find it distressing that enough people do enjoy this garbage to justify producing it in the first place. Shows like Jersey Shore, Sixteen and Pregnant, and Honey Boo Boo are all fabricated bullshit pseudo-drama. I know some people who watch this sort of thing find that it makes them feel better about themselves, but I just feel pity. Why bother?
Tod Browning would have a field day.
2. My blood type is ____ .
O Negative. That means that I had to get a shot when I was pregnant, and again after my daughter was born. Because Jack’s blood type is positive and mine is not, there was a chance that the baby would have a positive blood type (and she did). Thus I had to get a shot to ensure that my body wouldn’t fight her presence. Then when she was born and we found out that her blood type was positive, I had to have another shot. I’m not sure why. I guess the doctor just liked sticking me.
3. I am pretty healthy for ____ .
An elementary school teacher constantly exposed to runny noses, coughing, and sneezing right in my face. Not to mention that one gross kid who keeps trying to touch the straw on my drink. They’re like little Slimers from Ghostbusters.
4. When I really cannot sleep I ____ .
Masturbate or watch TV.
Sometimes I do both at once.
5. You never forget your ____ .
One true love. If not for the “your” in the prompt I would have said “the pain of giving birth.”
[Editor’s note: You can’t forget your one true love, because he lives with you.]
6. As a child my favorite pet was ____ .
A little black french poodle. It was my first dog. I’d take her to get groomed and they’d do her hair and put little bows in it. (Don’t judge me. I was a little girl.) But I didn’t really play with her at all, or do anything fun beyond taking her to get her hair done. Now that I think of it, I wasn’t very fond of pets.
I eventually grew fond of heavy petting, though.
Bonus: This week’s question comes from The Late Phoenix – “Why was fuck chosen as the ultimate swear word? It coulda easily been duck.”
I have no idea! I love to fuck and I don’t see it as a bad thing in any way. In fact, I can’t really understand using the word when you’re angry (although I do it myself sometimes). When I hear it, it almost always makes me smile regardless of the context, simply because of the connotation.
Howard the Duck was unavailable for comment.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link totmituesdayblog from your website!
As always, I love your answers.
Jack, not only do we have the same birthday, we are the same blood type…Who knew? Lol.
Jill, I completely agree with you on the reality TV shows. I HATE that they glorify teenage pregnancy. Honey Boo Boo makes me sick, etc.
Great answers from both of you as always.
Fun fact, my blood type is A negative and I needed shots during & after pregnancy as well. I’ll help with math problems though!