There are several unique and weird holidays that take place all over the world. This TMI Tuesday is about the month of April’s special observances. What’s Up April? …

Jack’s Answers

1. April 1 is April Fool’s Day (All Fools Day), a Western tradition of pulling pranks and hoaxes.
– Did you play any April Fool’s jokes on someone?
– Were you the victim of an April’s Fool prank this year?
– What is the best April Fool’s hoax you’ve ever pulled?
The answer to the first two questions is no. In my younger days I would frequently play some sort of minor, inconsequential April Fool’s joke, though I eventually grew up and found the practice somewhat annoying. My mother never got the memo, however, because up until this year she would regularly call me with some dire bit of news and, when I was fully on the hook, she’d remind me that it was April Fool’s Day. She’d pretty much always get me. This year, I was ready for her tricks, but one never came. As for the best April Fool’s hoax – probably more of a joke if I’m being honest – I’ve ever pulled, I once called my mom while on a spring break road trip to Vegas, and told her that I was in jail. I’m pretty sure she fell for it, though this was about fifteen years ago. For all I remember she didn’t.

2. What is your favorite unusual or non-traditional holiday to observe?
My birthday, obviously. It’s not a traditional holiday – you probably don’t even get the day off for it, and if not, shame on your employer/institution of higher learning – but it’s damn special to me.

3. Do you observe any unique local or family tradition holidays? Briefly tell us about this holiday.
I’d love to write at length about an arcane custom my ancestors created and passed down from generation to generation, and which I too will pass down to my descendants. Perhaps there is some unique manner of cultural music or dance that my people perfected, or an annual celebration or culinary tradition. While my countrymen and women have their own cuisine, I doubt I would call it unique. At any rate, however, there is no unique holiday we celebrate. We celebrate pretty much all the usual ones.

4. April is National Poetry Month. Share your favorite poem with TMI Tuesday or write a poem and share.
“Longmobile”, by Shel Silverstein
It’s the world’s longest car, I swear.
It reaches from Beale Street to Washington Square.
And once you get in it
To go where you’re going,
You simply get out, ’cause you’re there.

5. This month is also Stress Awareness Month. What stresses you on a daily basis?
Commuter traffic as I’m driving my daughter to school. Having to be “on” socially as the other parents and I wait for the teachers to admit the students into class, and again as we wait for school to be dismissed. A sex drive that can seemingly never be completely satisfied. Financial difficulties of the sort most families face. Living in a too-small space that may meet the needs of my family but fails to meet the wants. And perhaps most importantly, the knowledge that I have a great life and probably shouldn’t be stressed out about any of this.

6. April is National Humor Month. Name 3 stand-up comics or comedic actors who make you laugh?
Bill Hicks. Patton Oswalt. Louis CK. Dwayne Kennedy. Margaret Cho. Eddie Murphy. Garfunkel and Oates. David Cross. Chris Rock. Greg Giraldo. George Carlin. Kristen Schaal. Pablo Francisco. Brian Regan. Mitch Hedberg. Tig Notaro. Richard Jeni. Robin Williams. Comedians I don’t like? Larry the Cable Guy. Andy Dick. Sam Kinison. Judy Tenuta. Bill Cosby. Sorry Bill. In the space of a few months your entire comedic legacy has been almost completely overshadowed, and it makes me sad. And I feel like I need to mention Jerry Seinfeld as well; while I love his eponymous 1990s television series, removed from that I have almost no interest.

7. April 22 is National Jelly Bean Day in the United States, however, it can and should be celebrated all over the world. How will you celebrate Jelly Bean Day?
I’d say by touring the Jelly Belly Factory here in Northern California, but the 22nd is a Wednesday and I don’t see myself driving across two bridges on a weekday; and also, as the tour guides are known to explain to guests, the world-famous Jelly Belly is not actually a jelly bean.

Bonus: The flower for the month of April is the Daisy. How or what do you feel about daisies?
Daisy Dukes? As a confirmed leg-and-ass man, I approve wholeheartedly.

Jill’s Answers

1. April 1 is April Fool’s Day (All Fools Day), a Western tradition of pulling pranks and hoaxes.
– Did you play any April Fool’s jokes on someone?
– Were you the victim of an April’s Fool prank this year?
– What is the best April Fool’s hoax you’ve ever pulled?
I did not play any jokes, nor were any played on me. I’m not really into practical jokes, actually. I don’t like to be made fun of or laughed at, and I am not especially crazy about doing that to others. I don’t see the value of telling someone something untrue that will probably provoke a strong emotional reaction, then explaining that you made it all up for the sake of some silly tradition. For the couple seconds that the person believed the lie, they may have been pretty scared. No thanks.

2. What is your favorite unusual or non-traditional holiday to observe?
Teacher Appreciation Week. This year it’s celebrated the week of May 4th. I usually get all sorts of gifts from the students in my class. The Parent-Teacher Association prepares a lunch for us, and do our yard duty all week so we don’t have to. It’s a minor celebration at best, but when you consider how woefully underpaid the average American public school teacher is, it’s a nice little bone-throw.

3. Do you observe any unique local or family tradition holidays? Briefly tell us about this holiday.
My family is fond of watching football and drinking, so let’s just say that we celebrate Sunday.

4. April is National Poetry Month. Share your favorite poem with TMI Tuesday or write a poem and share.
“Sick”, by Shel SIlverstein
“I cannot go to school today,”
Said little Peggy Ann McKay,
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash, and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox
And there’s one more–that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue–
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broke–
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is–what?
What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is—Saturday?
G’bye, I’m going out to play!”

5. This month is also Stress Awareness Month. What stresses you on a daily basis?
Getting everything done that needs to get done. Work, dinner, house-cleaning, sex, sleep, parenting: It never ends.

6. April is National Humor Month. Name 3 stand-up comics or comedic actors who make you laugh?
Patton Oswalt, Brian Regan, and David Cross. They’re my top three.

7. April 22 is National Jelly Bean Day in the United States, however, it can and should be celebrated all over the world. How will you celebrate Jelly Bean Day?
I’m going to buy enough Jelly Bellys to fill a bathtub and take a bath in them.
[Editor’s Note: Jelly Bellys technically aren’t jelly beans.]
[Rebuttal: Okay, I’ll do it with gummy worms instead.]

Bonus: The flower for the month of April is the Daisy. How or what do you feel about daisies?
Gerbera daisies are one of my favorite flowers, but regular daisies I don’t like very much.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!