Get real, over-share. . .Time for another TMI Tuesday!
Analyze Your Sex-Life
Since we completely forgot to work on this on Monday (and since several of the questions ask about us as a couple) we’ll answer this week’s questions together unless explicitly stated otherwise.
1. What are your sexual strengths and weaknesses?
Jack: One of my strengths is almost certainly my stamina, as well as my lack of a refractory period. The only thing that might stop me from literally going all night is hunger and need for sleep, but rest assured my cock will cooperate. As for a weakness, I think my tendency to prioritize giving pleasure over receiving it, while not necessarily a bad thing, has occasionally left me less satisfied than I would have liked. (Though I didn’t complain at the time.)
Jill: I’m really good at oral sex. Not just blowjobs, either. I’m told I’m great at eating pussy as well. I tend to be very tactile and love to touch and kiss. Hopefully the combination of all of these qualities makes me a great lover. As for sexual weaknesses, I have self-esteem issues relating to body image. This unfortunately makes me nervous when it comes to bringing new people into the bedroom.
2. As a couple, what are your sexual strengths and weaknesses?
As a couple, I think we are always in sync sexually. Our sex drives are comparable, and after more than a decade we both know the other in every conceivable way.
3. How do you make intimacy a priority in a relationship?
By seizing the opportunity whenever it presents itself. Sometime this requires getting a babysitter in the evening and, rather than going to dinner or the movies, spending what little time we have reconnecting. Of course, it’s not unusual for babysitters to insist on watching our daughter at our house rather than theirs, and since our house is small that sometimes proves a problem. Other times Jill has taken a day off of work just so we can make the most of the several hours in which our daughter is at school. However, seizing the opportunity usually involves having sex right before bed, which means we are often limited to quickies – which to be fair are about an hour. This may seem like a case of not properly prioritizing, but sometimes it’s either quickies or nothing.
4. How has your sex life changed in the last five years?
As it turns out, our daughter is nearly six. Five years ago she was less than a year old, and far lower-maintenance than she is now. At the time we were having a lot more sex than we are now simply because we could. She slept a lot, and when she was awake we could in theory put her in a playpen with a bunch of toys and know she’d stay occupied until we were finished. While we have on occasion had sex in our bedroom while she was reading or playing in hers, or watching TV in the living room, the threat of discovery is still a very real one; while she has been told to always knock if a door is closed, there’s no guarantee that she will. Thus it can be difficult to maintain the same carefree feeling sex has always brought with it.
5. Has blogging helped your sex life? How?
Blogging has helped our sex life by exposing us to a variety of sexual activities, fetishes, and desires with which we would otherwise be far less familiar. Additionally it’s provided us with a support system and thus normalized various behaviors, including non-monogamy and polyamory.
Bonus: Has loneliness or emotional hunger ever caused you to “fall in love”?
Jack: Being a stay-at-home parent I do find myself drawn to a variety of relationships both online and off as a means of getting through the typical day. I don’t have nearly enough interaction with adults, so I’ll take it wherever I can get it. That said, I don’t think that this has caused me to “fall in love”; if I do so it’s not out of any emotional disconnect with my wife or anything.
Jill: Yes. When I was younger I fell in what I thought was love (or was content to pretend was love) out of unfulfilled emotional needs. I sometimes stayed in those relationships far too long because, while I was pretty sure it wasn’t actual love, I was getting something out of it.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!