1. If you died tomorrow, to whom would you leave all your worldly possessions?
All of my worldly possessions would go to my daughter with the exception of my porn. Jill gets that.

2. What did you like to play as a child?
G.I. Joe and other toy-based activities. Kickball. Little League and other team sports.  Standard school recess activities wherein one kid would chase another around the playground (or several would chase several more), miming shooting with our fingers, or sometimes pretending to transform into jets or other vehicles as we’d seen done in cartoons.

3. Have you ever gone on a rampant sex spree while depressed?
Yes. Generally speaking I find sex sprees are better for my figure than, say, eating sprees, though they seem to be far more work. Almost more than they’re worth, actually.

4. Do you mind if your partner wants to have porn videos playing while the two of you are having sex?
No. Sometimes I insist on it. We are both subject to visual stimulation and like watching something that turns us on while we are actively working toward orgasm. I also find it provides a sexy voyeuristic thrill, as we enjoy same-room sex and this is a quicker and easier way of making it happen.

5. What is the sexiest thing you did last week?
Pshhhh. Like anything I do is less than totally sexy.

Bonus: You have to give your lover a report card about your last sexual encounter.
– What would they score? A B C D F?
A, obviously. We couldn’t possibly be a better physical match than we currently are, and after almost a dozen years we each know exactly what the other likes best.
– What could he/she improve upon?
I’m not sure. Any deficiency in our sex life of late is due to a recent injury Jill suffered which has limited the amount of time and energy we can devote to sex. The injury itself hasn’t slowed us any. And there’s no lack of ability or talent, nor is there any change in our sex drives or the amount of desire we feel. If I had to name something, though, I’m likely to say that she could take greater initiative in finding early-evening babysitters so we can have sex when we’re not exhausted at the end of the day (which is not necessarily to say we aren’t exhausted at, like, five o’clock).
– For what would your lover be reprimanded for doing during sex?
Chewing gum. I don’t mind if she chews it, I just don’t want to see it. So, gum is fine when we’re doing doggy style, but I’d rather she abstain when we’re in missionary.  (This doesn’t necessarily apply to our most recent encounter.)

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