The Naughty Hangout: Something To Do With a Highball Glass

This week’s main theme at The Naughty Hangout is “Urban”.  As we pointed out last week, we live in an urban (or at least suburban) environment, though we found outselves lacking inspiration.  Sure, we could have driven into San Francisco and taken some shots that fit the theme, but as seems to be the case lately, we had no time.  And if we weren’t going to drive to San Francisco, we sure as hell weren’t going to drive out to the wilderness, which happens to be the secondary theme.  The tertiary theme, “Old-Fashioned”, on the other hand, suited us perfectly.
I like my whiskey neat.  That is, with no mixers or even ice.  But when I’m in the mood for a cocktail I’ll sometimes order an Old Fashioned.  Occasionally I’ll even make one for myself at home, though I find that I prefer the whiskey when I don’t have to do as much work for it, i.e. when I simply pour it into a glass and drink it.  Anyway, here’s the recipe.
40 ml Bourbon whiskey
1 sugar cube or 1/2 teaspoon sugar; substitute 1/2 teaspoon simple syrup if preferred
Angostura bitters
water or club soda
Place sugar into Old Fashioned glass
Saturate sugar/syrup with Angostura bitters
Add dash of soda or water and muddle sugar until totally dissolved
Fill glass with ice and add whiskey
Garnish with lemon twist or orange wedge, and a maraschino cherry
-Jack

Wicked Wednesday: Join the Club

“Large coffee black, shot of espresso,” she said, her voice energetic despite the early hour.  When Dan heard her, he headed up to the counter.  She smiled sincerely as she passed the steaming cup to him.  Same as any other morning, their eyes met as they exchanged brief pleasantries, same as any other morning.

According to the tag she wore, her name was Nina.  But he’d never been so forward as to address her as such.  She seemed sweet and outgoing, and he guessed that she wasn’t older than twenty-two.  She had red hair and pretty features, her shining green eyes framed by a black pair of retro cat’s eye glasses.  He wondered if her car was the shiny Hybrid he saw in the employee lot every morning with the “Coexist” bumper sticker.

Dan headed for the tiny table where Gary sat before a sugary drink containing more whipped cream than coffee.  At the moment he was reading his work emails on his smart phone, but when he noticed Dan, he set the phone down.

“Can’t believe I forgot to have them stamp my card,” Gary said.  “Next one would have been free.  Now I gotta wait until Tuesday.”

“I got mine,” Dan said, fishing the tiny white Coffee Club card out of the pocket of his dress shirt.  He waved it in Gary’s face, showing off the freshly-inked coffee cup stamp.  “Membership has its privileges.”

“Whatever,” Gary said, and took a sip of his drink through a straw.

“I’ve always wanted to fuck that one chick,” Dan said, tilting his head in Nina’s direction.  “You want your customers to keep coming back, you make that a privilege of membership.”

***

“You really want to fuck that chick?” Gary asked on their way to work.  Dan answered in the affirmative, of course.  But the fact was that he wanted to fuck anybody.  His dry spell had gone on for way too long.  Nina was just someone friendly and easy on the eyes, who he might have asked out on a date given half a chance.

“A girl like that doesn’t go on dates,” Gary told him.  He let the statement hang there, cryptically, but Dan didn’t take the bait, didn’t even ask what the hell he meant by it.  A few minutes passed, and then Gary just went for it:  “Look, if you want, I’ll introduce you to her sometime.  Away from work.”

“What, you know her?” Dan asked.

Gary didn’t offer any details.  “I take it that’s a yes?”

And that’s how they came to find themselves standing outside of a nondescript storefront after work that night.  Gary knocked, and after a moment the door opened a crack.  Dan could see light from a street lamp glint off of the links of a chain that bound the door to its frame.  He couldn’t make out the guy standing on the other side of the door, but his voice was gruff.  He asked them for their tickets and ID.

Gary withdrew a folded piece of paper from his wallet and held it toward the open door.  The man inside took it.  He followed that with his ID.  “I’m sponsoring him,” Gary said, indicating his friend.  “He’s not a member yet.”

“Still need to see his ID.”  Hearing this, Dan took his wallet from the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his driver’s license.  He handed it to Gary, who passed it through the door.  The man on the other side shut the door, then disengaged the chain and opened it wide.  He was tall and heavy-set, a full beard adorning his face while the hair atop his head was thin.  They walked past him into a dimly-lit hallway with a staircase at the end.

Gary led Dan up the stairs.  As they climbed, they began to hear the unmistakable sounds of fervent, vigorous sex.  By the time they reached the top, the sounds were beginning to slowly die away.  They passed through a beaded curtain and into a large room.  A thick crowd of men – twenty-five, easily – stood with their backs to Dan and Gary.  Some knelt or crouched.  All were naked, or nearly naked.

“Okay guys, take five,” someone said, and the group of men dispersed to reveal a large mattress.  A young woman lay atop it, mopping semen from her breasts and face with a towel.  Her pretty features were unmistakable, especially her eyes shining even brighter without the cat’s eye glasses.

Nina noticed Dan.  “I know you!” she exclaimed, her voice as energetic as ever.  “Large black coffee.”  She paused.  “Shot of espresso.”

***

The sun hadn’t yet come up when the two men finally left.  The early morning air was cool but not cold, street lamps casting light on the sidewalk as they made their way to Gary’s car.

“That was fun,” Dan said.  “Thanks for bringing me.”

“Anytime.  And now that you’re a member, you don’t need me to get you in.  Next Friday it’ll be Suzanne.  She’s a mousy soccer mom with a wild streak.  You’ll like her.”

“Sounds good.  You coming back?”  Gary said that he was as he fished his car keys out of his pocket.  He unlocked the doors and they got into the car.

“I’m hungry,” Gary said as he twisted the key in the ignition and the car roared to life.  “I feel like getting some breakfast.”

“Join the club.”

This week’s prompt:  Club


TMI Tuesday: August 7, 2012: This…Is…Jeopardy!*

We have provided the answer, now you provide the question. For example:
Answer (given): 28 marbles.  Question (you the blogger create): How many did she fit in her vagina?
Jack’s Questions
It’s a lot funnier if you imagine the answers being read in this man’s voice.

1. Answer: My butt. 
Which part of you has seen more exposure on your blog, your cock or your butt?
2. Answer: stiletto black leather pumps
Can you name a type of knife, a color, a use for cattle, and a verb in the present tense?
3. Answer: hard and stiff
What words describe the mattress you slept on last night, and your neck, respectively?
4. Answer: “By George I think he’s got it!”
What is an antiquated expression that you’ve never uttered?
5. Answer: socks
Question:  Quick!  Give me a word that rhymes with “cocks”.

“Hey!  Form of a question, asshole!”
6. Answer: hole in the wall
Who or what would you be fucking if you weren’t married to Jill?

Bonus:
Answer: I hid them there so you wouldn’t find them.
“Why are all my birthday presents in the broom closet?”

Not sure what’s going on here, or why, but we felt compelled to include this image.

Jill’s Questions
Remember, this guy’s voice.
1. Answer: My butt. 
Where do you want Jack to put his cock right now?
2. Answer: stiletto black leather pumps
What did you buy at the store yesterday?  Except they aren’t leather, they aren’t pumps, and they aren’t stilettos.  I bought heels, basically.

3. Answer: hard and stiff
What are Rick Santorum’s two favorite adjectives in the English language?

Couldn’t find a picture of Trebek and Santorum together.  Here’s one that’s almost as good.

4. Answer: “By George I think he’s got it!”
Isn’t it “By Jove”?  In Roman times, swearing by Jove was the equivalent of swearing on the Bible.  Who’s this George guy?
5. Answer: socks
Other than panties, what article of clothing do you dislike wearing the most?
6. Answer: hole in the wall
Why might one call a drywall installer?  Also, what’s your favorite way to peep on someone while they’re changing clothes, masturbating, or having sex?
Bonus:
Answer: I hid them there so you wouldn’t find them.
“Why are all your vibrators out here in plain sight?”

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
*Formerly “What’s the Question?”

Book Review: Anything For You: Erotica For Kinky Couples

We’ve been fans of writer and cupcake goddess Rachel Kramer Bussel for years.  We consider the erotica she’s written amongst our favorite, and more than a few of the anthologies she’s edited hold a place of honor in our dirty bookcase.

We were excited to get an early look at Ms. Bussel’s latest tome, Anything For You:  Erotica For Kinky Couples, which hits bookstore shelves tomorrow.  As the title suggests, this is a collection of stories geared toward toward adventurous, open-minded readers, exploring topics that are perhaps a bit naughtier than what society deems conventional.

Though we don’t consider our sex life conventional, we also acknowledge that we aren’t particularly kinky.  We don’t practice BDSM, outside of occasional light restraint and blindfolding; and the only impact play with which we’ve got any experience consists of spanking as part of doggy-style sex.  The stories included in Anything For You involve female dominance, exhibitionism, role play, group sex, humiliation, spanking, and pegging.  Given this disparity between the scope of our experience and the subject matter covered in the book, you may suppose that there wasn’t much that interested us.
You’d be incorrect.  We’ve come to expect a certain level of quality, as well as heat, from the tales that turn up in Ms. Bussel’s anthologies, and Anything For You provides copious amounts of both.  And while many of the activities described are ones with which we have no experience – and in most cases, no plans to actually experience – each of the nineteen were well worth the read.
We especially enjoyed the fact that most of the stories involved couples in established, committed relationships.  We’ve been together almost ten years, and we found that while the subject matter was highly erotic, it was the depth of these relationships to which we could most relate.  The authors give great insight into the love, trust, and mutual respect that a kinky lifestyle requires.

If you like erotica best when it’s not vanilla, we highly recommend Anything For You:  Erotica For Kinky Couples.

Sinful Sunday: The Prodigals Return

These shots were taken one year ago this week, during a time when our blog was on what we assumed would be a permanent hiatus.  They are part of a photo shoot we did for Osbasso‘s OHNT site, though none of these photos were among those we eventually submitted.  By the time the first one saw publication on August 25, we had already made a furtive, stumbling attempt at resuming our blog, and we haven’t looked back.

Sinful Sunday

Formspring Friday: D/s

Have you ever considered a dom/sub relationship?  Does the thought of one turn you on or terrify you?

1921 illustration of female submission by Georges Topfer from Le Rêve d’un flagellant (“The dream of a flagellant”).
Jack’s Answer
A D/s relationship isn’t my ultimate sexual goal by any means.  I can think of multiple scenarios that I’d rather experience, or in some cases experience again, including group sex and public sex.  But as for whether I have considered it, how could I not have, given how much I read about this sort of thing in the blogs we follow?  That is not to say that I’ve considered it seriously, or suggested it to Jill.  I have not.  My consideration of a D/s relationship is limited to fantasy, occasionally at best.
I’m dominant.  Jill is submissive.  (I can be submissive and she can be dominant, but in my opinion not enough to identify as switch.)  There are some who might suspect that we already have a D/s relationship given our clearly-defined roles, but I don’t believe that to be the case.  While the power exchange is sometimes part of our sex play, neither of us is really that turned on by it to the point that it is the focus or a major motivating factor.  For us, these things are at best a small aspect of our sex life.
I should point out that if we could count on regularly having a significant amount of time, we might dabble in BDSM a bit more than we have thusfar, though it wouldn’t necessarily be D/s as neither of us are interested in, nor do we have the time or discipline to devote to, the daily lifestyle that our D/s-practicing friends write about.  Make no mistake, I find most of their experiences electrifying and arousing to read about, in part because as I said, I consider myself dominant.  I just don’t think Jill and I will ever go there.  
Jill’s Answer
Although my submissive side is much more prominent than my dominant side, I’ve never been in a proper D/s relationship and I’ve never seriously considered one.  In fact, it really hasn’t even occurred to me on a strictly fantasy level.  That is to say that while some aspects may be appealing, it isn’t something that I fantasize about.
In spite of that fact, lately the thought of being in a D/s relationship is somewhat appealing to me.  The more blogs and erotica we read that concern D/s, the more exposed to the ins and outs of D/s I become, and the more I find it sexually arousing to put myself in such scenarios.  But I question whether I am sufficiently interested to actually do it.  I am not even slightly turned on by pain, humiliation, or control, beyond being told what to do in bed.  I’m not the sort of woman to let my partner dictate when I can have an orgasm, for instance.
Jack excels at taking charge, moving me into whichever position he wants me to assume, and on the occasion that I crave it, dominating me.  But such submission isn’t something that I need every time I have sex in order to become aroused or to get off.  I am not particularly compelled by the psychological aspects of D/s.  In fact, there are going to be times when I would rather be the dominant person.  So while it turns me on to read about the situations that our online friends enjoy, I don’t want to find myself in their shoes. 
If you want to ask us anything, drop us a line on Formspring, or use the handy Formspring widget on the right-hand side of our blog.  We like sexy questions!  To see who else participated this week, visit Twitter and search for #FormspringFriday!

The Naughty Hangout: Heels and Tanbark

The main theme at The Naughty Hangout this week is “Rural”.  Unfortunately, not only do we live in an environment that is decidedly suburban, but we also neglected to take any shots that fit the theme when we were on vacation in rural areas in June and July.  The best we could do was to fake it at a local park.  We could also make a case for this week’s secondary and tertiary themes – “Contrast” and “Modern”, respectively – as Jill’s refined attire of a black skirt and heels contrast with her more rugged surroundings.  Additionally, the photo was taken on Thursday evening, which is about as modern as we can get.

Go see who else is being naughty this week!

-Jack

Wicked Wednesday: Midnight Encounter

Jill opened the patio door and stepped outside.  I followed close behind, squinting through the night as she cast off her robe, letting it fall to the ground.  The night air was warm against my body, the wood of the deck sturdy and smooth beneath my bare feet.  She stood at the railing, her back arched, her ass an unmissable target.  She was ready for me.

I listened to the crickets chirping in the distance.  Miles away, we saw a faint spark across the clearing that we could have convinced ourselves was a firefly, if only they were native to the area.  I suggested a far-off hiker with a flashlight, but Jill shot the idea down when the spark died away as quickly as it had appeared.  As long as it didn’t get any closer, we were fine.

As I pressed my hardness into the soft flesh of her ass, Jill leaned back to kiss me.  Her tongue found my own, my hands rising to meet the fullness of her breasts.  My fingers pinched and pulled her nipples, manipulating them into excited points as she reached down to guide me inside her.  Taking her mouth off of mine, she gasped as she felt me enter.  Then she braced herself against the railing, and we began.

The coyote that howled in perfect sync with Jill as she climaxed didn’t deter our rhythm.  Her hips continued to buck against mine, her pussy undulating on my cock, goading me toward my own orgasm.  I grabbed her hair, pulling her head back so that we could enjoy another voracious kiss.  Her hungry mouth opened on mine.  I knew it wouldn’t be long.

When I told Jill that I was cumming, she hopped down off of my cock and lowered herself onto her knees.  I expected her mouth to engulf me, swallowing down every drop as I unleashed my orgasm.  Instead, however, it was her hand that closed around my length, pumping enthusiastically.  As I felt myself begin to ejaculate, I heard a chorus of satisfied moans from my wife as I showered her in white.

We never did find out the cause of the spark we’d seen that night.  But if it did happen to be a hiker, or someone else traveling through those woods, we wonder if he or she noticed our own sparks.

Picture prompt; no verbal prompt this week
Painting by Ash-Dragon-Wolf