This week’s theme at The Naughty Hangout is “Design”…St. Patrick’s Day.  It doesn’t have to be St. Patrick’s Day for us to enjoy a slowly-poured glass of Guinness, but we always partake of the rich stout on March 17th.  When we were first dating, Jack and I would visit our favorite local pub and get to know each other over pints of the black stuff.  We went to Ireland and drank Guinness at the Gravity Bar overlooking Dublin.  We loved the way the bartenders would draw a shamrock or other design into the foamy head.

My shirt reads “If you can read this we’ll go to bed” in Gaelic.  But in the title of this post I didn’t specify that I was talking about translating it from my T-shirt. So if you managed the difficult task of reading the title of this post, I guess I’ll sleep with you.

Head over to The Naughty Hangout and see who else participated this week!

-Jill

You stand close, so close that I can feel your breath on my face.  I’ve wanted you this close for a very long time.  In fact, I’ve wished to have you even closer than this.  Your body language suggests that I may get my wish before the night is over.

All at once you kiss me.  Our lips press together, my mouth opening to yours.  Your tongue snakes into my mouth, finding my own.  My tongue chases yours back into your mouth.  At the same time, you take my hand in yours and place it over your breasts, demonstrating the kind of touch you like best.

As I caress your breasts, I feel your hand move down my body as well.  You settle between my legs, feeling my cock through my jeans.  It’s already stiff beneath the palm of your hand.  You unbuckle my belt, then unbutton and unzip me.  As you slide down my jeans, my hardness springs forth.

The kiss breaks and I move my mouth down your neck, kissing softly.  Your tight white tank top hugs your figure.  You look sexy in it, but right now it’s just in my way.  You raise your arms up over your head, and I slide the tank top off of you.  Uncovered, your breasts are full and round, and they resemble ripe fruit.  In my mind I wonder if they are as sweet and tasty.

As you reach back down to stroke me, I lower my head to your breast and encircle your nipple with my mouth.  Moaning with pleasure, you take your hand off of my cock and place it on my head.  You hold it in place as though you’re afraid I’ll stop, but the thought never crossed my mind.  I draw your breast ever deeper into my mouth, my tongue fondling you hungrily.

My hand wanders over your stomach and sneaks down the front of your shorts.  I feel your wetness on my fingertips, and my mind comes alive with thoughts of tasting you.  I find your clit engorged and throbbing, and your lips open to my probing touch.  You gasp faintly as I touch you, and our mouths meet again.  You begin to tug at your shorts, and I help you out of them.  In seconds they’re at your feet.  You step out of them, and once you’re naked you lead me to the bed.

While I remove my clothes, you climb atop the mattress.  My excitement is very apparent as I watch you crawl across the bed.  Your pretty eyes hold my gaze, and I join you on the bed.  I lie you down on your back and caress your warm, smooth thighs, kisses tracing the movements of my hands.  I part your legs wide and bury my face between them, lapping eagerly with a skilled tongue.

I slip a couple fingers inside you as well, curving them upward in search of your G-spot.  At the same time my tongue coaxes your clit out from under its hood.  Your hands grip my hair, your movements a silent testimonial to my efforts.  As my fingers find their goal I feel your body tense up, your thighs tightening against my head.  Your breathing speeds up as your arousal builds.  I’m hungry for your climax, and I devour you with great intensity.

Your moans of pleasure betray your impending orgasm.  You cum explosively, soaking my mouth and my tongue.  You buck hard against my face, but I ride your undulations, never once missing a lick.  Before the first orgasm has had a chance to subside, another one hits you.  I continue to pleasure you with fingers and tongue, intent on leaving you utterly satisfied.

Feeling your wetness on my chin and dripping down my chest, I take my hand away and replace it with my mouth.  Your pussy is fragrant, sweet, and very juicy.  I can’t get enough.  Long, slow licks with my tongue ensure another orgasm, one that leaves your body throbbing with pleasure.

You lie silently, your breasts rising and falling with every breath.  Emerging from between your legs, I taste you on my lips.  I’m only taking a break; my hunger is not yet sated.

“Don’t go anywhere,” you say.  “It’s your turn.”

-Jack

Continued here.

Go see who else is being wanton this week!

2. Tell us 2 naughty things you’d put on your wishlist and 2 more naughty or nice things you’d add to the list.
The two naughty things I’d put on my wishlist are a swing, because I’ve always wanted one, I’d love to try some form of sex during suspension, and I’m not particularly into BDSM; and a LELO Soraya, which I think would make a great alternative to my trusty Rabbit vibrator.  The two nice things I’d add would be a private jet and a full-time nanny for our daughter.  Both of these things are technically “nice” things, but they would be used to facilitate lots of naughtiness.

3. Your order has been mixed up and instead of your selected gift you receive Fireman Sam (see http://mollysdailykiss.com/2011/12/07/inflation/). What do you do?
Um…return it?  I guess it depends on what I actually ordered.  If what I ordered was cheaper than Fireman Sam I might keep it and see if I could throw it on Craigslist for most of the retail price.  Blowup dolls are not really my thing, so I doubt I would use it myself.  Now, if it was a real fireman, I’d use him for sure!  Imagine how much safer I’d feel knowing that I had a live-in firefighter to put out any fires that might break out at home, and maybe ignite a few in my bed.

4. The miss-delivery is sorted and you get the right order. Because of the mix-up you’ve also received a free gift voucher for one of many new accessories available to enhance your new wishlist item. What do you choose?
I’d like a free strap-on to go with the nanny I asked for in #2.

5. Your best friend arrives at your back door just as the courier (who is to die for) arrives at the front door with your accessory delivery. What do you do? (choose one)
a) usher your friend away because it’s ALL YOURS! and you can’t wait, let alone share
b) tell your friend to come inside with the intent to have them join in
c) what the heck, two’s company, four’s an orgy! (invite the courier in as well)
I’ll go with “c”.  My best friend is really hot, and even though she isn’t the type to let me try out my free strap-on on her, it’s my scenario so I say she is.  And I don’t care about the identity of the courier, as long as it’s a guy, but Jack would have to be present.  This way I can fulfill my two-guys-at-once fantasy, and Jack gets to fulfill his fucking-my-best-friend fantasy.

Bonus: Do you have a real wish list in the works? If yes, what’s on it?
See my answer to #2.  That’s my wish-list.  In addition, I’d also like a pilot for the jet (preferably a hot, strapping, hung guy), a cook (either sex, must also be hot), and a luxury car with a driver (yes, must be hot).

How to play TMI Tuesday:  Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog).  Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses.  Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

From Wikipedia:  “Mooning is used mostly in the English-speaking world to express protest, scorn, disrespect, or provocation, but can also simply be done for shock value or fun.”

-Jill

If you’re looking for our Sinful Sunday, it can be found here.

Sunday, March 4

We didn’t have much sex today.  When we took our Monopoly Monday picture, Jack positioned the camera in front of us and put it on a timer.  Then he got behind me, just to see how hard he could fuck me before the game board, the hotels, the game pieces, and the Chance and Community Chest cards went flying everywhere.  It made for an amusing series of outtakes, but they weren’t the sexiest pictures we’ve ever taken.

Monday, March 5

I started my day with my usual shower orgasm.  During my lunch break, I had a brief but very enjoyable IM conversation with a friend that I hadn’t heard from in awhile.  It got me really hot, and I wanted another orgasm, but unlike so many of our Twitter friends who enjoy regular workplace masturbation, I didn’t dare.  Meanwhile, Jack managed to get himself off as well, while the baby was occupied with cartoons.

My earlier conversation was fresh in my mind all day.  I had meetings after work and I didn’t get home until 6:30.  I was anxious for sex, and with the baby napping we Skyped with a friend.  Of course, the baby woke up literally as soon as we started.  She was unusually needy, and we had a nice, polite, G-rated conversation.

That night, I fell asleep while putting the baby to bed.  Jack waited patiently and when I woke up he was in the shower.  I waited until he was done shaving and then I got in and we washed each other, then played for awhile.  Jack knelt beneath me, propped one of my legs up on the edge of the tub, and used the showerhead on me.  I came really hard, and accidentally bit down on his neck and his shoulder to keep from losing my balance.  (What can I say?  It made sense in my head at the time.)  When we were through conserving water, we went to bed and finished up.

Tuesday, March 6
As I had a few extra minutes this morning, I opted to use a waterproof toy in the shower.  Because of this the experience was a lot more gradual and relaxing, and while the orgasm wasn’t as intense as the more hurried ones I usually have with the showerhead, I think I enjoyed it more.

Jack had an appointment this morning, and my sister came to the house to stay with the baby.  When he got home he took a shower and enjoyed a half hour of alone time, teasing me with erotic text messages and even a couple pictures as he masturbated.  Needless to say this affected my concentration for the rest of my work day.

Later in the afternoon, after my sister left, Jack found himself getting very worked up thanks to some interactions on Twitter.  He attempted to have another orgasm once the baby slept, but as I was on the way home he just edged.  When I arrived home, we had sex in the living room on the couch.  It was a lot like A Warm Welcome, the story we posted on Saturday, except that Jack wasn’t sleeping when I walked in, and instead of a butt plug, we used my Rabbit.

I enjoyed riding my toy while sucking Jack’s cock, and I hoped for simultaneous orgasm.  It didn’t happen, exactly, as I came well before Jack did.  But as I climaxed I had to take my mouth off of him, and Jack replaced it with his hand.  I am usually very loud and very vocal when coming, and this pushed Jack over the edge.  He came all over my tits.

Saturday, March 10

The baby woke up early.  While Jack slept, I got her dressed, and situated in front of the TV with some breakfast.  When I returned to bed Jack was already awake.  I went down on him, then rode him while making out.  We’re sometimes squeamish about making out before we’ve had the chance to brush our teeth and wash up, but today was not one of those days.

While riding Jack I got a toy out of my nightstand and had him hold it against my clit.  I came hard and fast, and collapsed against him.  We rolled over, and Jack fucked me in the missionary position until he came all over me.  I was glad that he was able to concentrate on sex with the baby not in any way penned up outside.  This sometimes throws him off.  Actually, he might have thought that I put her in her playpen for all I know. 

We were supposed to have friends over on Saturday night, and we got a babysitter for a couple hours.  But our friends ended up having to bail, and the babysitter fell through as well.  Therefore the nonstop sex fest we planned was delayed until the baby fell asleep for the night around 8:30.  We started with doggy style.  Jack came first, something that almost never happens.  I was so excited!  I took him in my mouth, and then he returned the favor.

No matter what else I’m wearing, or even if I’m wearing nothing else, a new pair of thigh-high stockings always makes me feel sexy.  I love the way I look in them.  I love the way they hug my curves.  I love the way you react when you see them on me.

I opened the front door and stepped into the living room.  Jack was dozing on the couch.  I was momentarily disappointed, as I  had hoped to come in and find him naked on our bed, stroking his hard cock as he waited for my arrival.

Careful not to disturb his rest, I moved quietly.  But then a  naughty idea came over me, and I walked over to the couch.  I  knelt on the floor in front of him, and unbuckled his belt.  I  unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, and reached in to find him  already aroused.  He must have been enjoying an amazing dream.

I immediately got to work making Jack’s dream a reality.  Slowly  I began to stroke and lick his erect cock.  I swirled my tongue around the head, then took him deep into my mouth as he moaned  with pleasure.  I eagerly stripped off his jeans, then dropped my own pants and panties to the floor.

Climbing onto the couch, I straddled Jack’s cock.  His eyes opened as he felt my weight settle on him.  As he began to thrust I rode him hard and fast, eager for my release.  It didn’t take me long to cum, and I soaked his cock with my juices.

Feeling my sticky wetness on my thighs, I climbed off of the couch and I knelt back down.  I began to suck Jack’s cock, enjoying the tanginess of my pussy on him.  I was just as eager for Jack’s release as I had been for mine, and he didn’t disappoint.  After a few minutes of oral pleasure I was rewarded with a mouthful of delicious cum. But we were far from finished.

In the bedroom I shed my top and my bra, and grabbed a bottle of lube and a toy.  When I returned to the living room, I set them down on the carpet and got on all fours, presenting Jack with my ass and my pussy.  I arched my back and felt him lick both of my hungry orifices.  I felt a familiar sensation as he pressed a well-lubed silicone plug against my ass, working it in gradually until it was inserted all the way.

“Fuck me,” I told him.  “Make me explode.”

I felt Jack’s cock part my lips, filling me completely.  I was stretched so tightly, feeling fuller than I had ever felt before.  I clenched down on the plug and on his cock as he began to fuck me.  His hands gripped my hair, pulling my head back with each forward thrust.  Every time the head of his cock crashed against my G-spot I felt myself drawing ever closer to another climax and before long I found myself cumming and squirting, panting and moaning in ecstasy.

Without removing the plug, Jack withdrew from my pussy, releasing another flood of my juices.  He quickly replaced his cock with his fingers, and eventually his fist.  I swallowed him up, my pussy throbbing around his wrist as he stimulated my G-spot once again.  At the same time I felt his tongue lapping against my clit, and I began to gush again, rivulets of my cum running like a river down my legs.    I felt Jack’s mouth move down my thighs, kissing away the warm traces of my wetness as he continued to pump his fist in and out.

My mouth hung open, frozen mid-moan as orgasm after orgasm overtook me.  When Jack finally took his hand out of my pussy, his cock took its place.  He began to move the plug in and out of my ass, all the while fucking me hard, without mercy, each movement threatening to split me in half.  Just when I found myself wondering how much more I could take I came one last time, screaming with pleasure, my body shuddering and bathed in sweat.

It was Jack’s turn then.  He gave a deep, guttural growl of release, and then I felt his cock swell and explode, filling me with his cum.   He collapsed against my back, his dripping member slowly softening as it slipped out.  Jack placed his hands on the plug and started to remove it.

“No,” I said.  “I want another round.”

How long does intercourse usually last for you? How long is the whole session including foreplay? Are you satisfied with how long it lasts or do you wish it was shorter/longer?

Unfortunately, there’s no way to succinctly answer this three-part question.  Nothing about the sex that we have is standard; we could have sex on ten occasions, and have it last ten very different lengths of time.  There are many reasons for this, and many factors that conspire to determine the length.  Most of them involve our baby girl.  

Is she asleep for the night?  If so, we are likely to have a couple hours, although by the time she has been put to bed and we’ve accomplished all the non-sexual things that need accomplishing, it’s usually quite late and we’ll make do with anywhere from half an hour to an hour.  When we prioritize correctly, i.e. we have sex first and then do all the non-sexual things, we sometimes manage a couple hours.

Is she just napping?  If so, the length of the session depends on timing.  If Jill happens to be home when the baby falls asleep, or more likely if she happens to get home from work soon after the baby falls asleep, we’ve usually got around two hours to enjoy each other.  This often translates into several orgasms for Jill, and anywhere between one and three for Jack; plus a shower, post-coital cleanup, and perhaps even a conversation about each other’s day, all before she wakes up.  

However, timing the baby’s naps to coincide with Jill’s arrival from work isn’t always possible.  Sometimes she falls asleep much earlier, and by the time Jill gets home there’s a half hour left on the clock.  Or less; we have no way of knowing, obviously.  We make an honorable attempt at sex, though it is sometimes curtailed by a little girl who wakes suddenly, disoriented and in need of milk or attention.

Is the baby with a babysitter?  (Yes, we’ll sometimes leave her with a babysitter solely so that we can fuck with reckless abandon, never once worrying that a careless scream of pleasure is going to wake her.)  If so, we’ve probably got a couple hours.  When this happens it’s typically in the late afternoon or evening, so there’s virtually no chance that we’re going to be too tired for sex, or that it will get too late and we’ll decide to skip it.

Are Jack’s parents staying over, and keeping the baby occupied while we “nap”?  If so, we can probably get away with an hour or so, though two hours is not unheard of under these circumstances.  The problem is that when they’re actually staying in our home, we’d much rather have sex quickly, just for the release of it.  After all, it’s not like we can be as loud as we want when they’re around.

Is the baby awake and sitting on the couch or otherwise unrestrained?  Or for that matter, awake and in her playpen?  In either situation we’ll probably settle for a quickie, as she tends to notice if we’re not around, and if it’s the former, there’s nothing keeping her from getting down from the couch and walking into our room, or at least right up to the door.  If it’s the latter, after a relatively short period of time she is likely to very vocally express her displeasure at being cooped up.  Since we don’t live in a particularly large house, her voice carries, and one can only hear, “I’m ready to get out” so many times before it starts to fuck with one’s arousal.

The adorable face of a tiny cockblocker

Another factor in determining how much time we have for sex is how horny we are.  If it’s a typical weekday, chances are that we’ve spent much of it talking on the phone, tweeting, emailing, or texting back and forth about sex.  The anticipation at this point becomes tangible, and as soon as Jill walks in the door it needs to happen immediately.  Sometimes this results in a relatively quick session, especially if the baby has been sleeping for awhile beforehand and there’s a chance she’ll wake soon.

In short, the amount of time we spend on sex depends on how much time we have.  Sex can last anywhere from half an hour to a few hours depending on the above factors.  There have been times when the baby has interrupted us, especially if she wakes from a nap while we’re in the middle of it; but we can usually wait until she’s down for the night and pick up where we left off.  Luckily, when we’re starting off, it’s not very difficult to estimate how much time we might have.

As for how long intercourse itself lasts, we generally spend more time on foreplay than we do on intercourse.  Sometimes intercourse makes up about 25% of a sex session while foreplay makes up 75%.  We enjoy intercourse greatly, but to us it’s just another item at the sexual buffet.  A very tasty item, sure, but nonetheless just an item.  Once again, a number of factors influence the exact length, but if we have sex for two hours, we might spend anywhere between forty minutes and an hour having intercourse.  

Because of the baby’s precarious sleep schedule, we don’t always have orgasms, though we always try to.  It’s difficult, however, when you have a baby who tends to make her own schedule and come and go as she pleases.  Therefore while we are usually satisfied at the end of a session, we aren’t always.  Actually, even when we both climax excessively and are for all intents and purposes completely satisfied physically and emotionally, we still wish it could have lasted longer.  We enjoy sex so much that it’s almost like no matter how much we have, it’s never enough..

Neither of us have ever wished that it was shorter.

UPDATE:  Thanks to Liza Bennet for bringing this post to the attention of none other than world-renowned sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer!

Dr. Ruth says this post “makes a lot of sense”. Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod…

Behind the Scenes

For the third straight week, Ram the Sunlover is filling in for Panserbjørne.  His requirements for this story were a bit different from the typical Flash Fiction Friday challenge in that in addition to the usual word range (181-199) and a required phrase (“soft rustle”), participants were given two images, seen above, and instructions to use the two images to bracket the story, with either one represented in the beginning, and the other represented at the end.

The idea for this story, and the incorporation of the two pictures, came to me pretty quick; I decided to simply present the scene, and provide almost no exposition as to who the characters were.  I liked the ambiguity, and the questions it would likely raise not only in the viewers mind, but had also raised in my own.  Who are these women?  What is their relationship to each other?  How does Bill fit in?  Why are they all sharing a room?  Feel free to speculate, with the understanding that I have no concrete idea as to any of it.

Deleted Scenes

While I found the 199-word limit a bit more constrictive than I initially thought it would be, I managed to tell the story I wanted to tell.  Though tight and lacking in detail, no scenes were left on the cutting-room floor; the only changes I made involved deleting a few arguably unnecessary words, as usual.

Soundtrack

A piece of reggae music would work well here, preferably something slow and sensual.  “Boom Shack-a-Lak” by Junior Reid comes to mind, as does “Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing” by Big Youth.