Author: Jack

TMI Tuesday: April 22, 2014

Jack6 Comments
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This week’s TMI Tuesday is an outlet for the quirky you. It’s titled Odd and Ends because it is the leftover ideas/questions/thoughts that couldn’t fit into a theme but I know it’s TMI you want to share 🙂
Let’s Play…

Jack’s Answers

1. How addicted are you? You are in a rush, there is no time to make your morning coffee or stop to buy it. However, you can save time and get your “energy high” by brushing your teeth with a caffeine-infused toothbrush. Would you buy and use this product? Why or why not?
No.  I’ve never needed caffeine in the mornings.  I don’t drink coffee, and I’ve never been one to imbibe energy drinks.  I’m not trying to make myself sound like some kind of awesome guy – I can be pretty lazy when I have the opportunity – but while I may not always relish getting up in the morning I do so because I need to, and I always have, whether I’m getting up for school, for work, or to raise my daughter.  But everyone I know seems to be as functional as a lobotomized earthworm before they’ve stopped at Starbucks for their daily venti triple-caf megafrappumacchiato.  I guess I just don’t see the big deal.

2. You made a sex list of all the things you’d like to do but haven’t done. The list was lost and discovered by your boss at work. He/she ask if they can help you tick a few items off the list. What do you say?
Depends on the boss.  If it’s Christine, who I worked for in my twenties, then the answer is an enthusiastic hell yes.  She was attractive, fun, and very sexy, and based on a single experience, an amazing lay who managed to live up to my fantasies – and I had many.

If it’s this guy, the answer is no.

3. Sex around the house. Have you ever been bent over the kitchen counter or bent a lover over the kitchen counter and fucked? What did you like most about it? What did you like least?
I’ve never been bent over the kitchen counter, but then I’m not one to get bent over anything.  Not that there’s anything wrong with receiving; it’s just not my particular kink, nor has it been any of my partners’ thusfar.  However, I have bent many a partner over various counters including not only the kitchen counter but the bathroom counter as well.  I’ve also bent Jill over our dining room table a half hour or so before dinner guests arrived, ostensibly because there wasn’t enough pressure to get everything prepared before the doorbell rang.  In our current home, however, the kitchen is set up in such a way as to make fucking up against the counter a bit too cramped for our liking, so when we need to have sex in the kitchen we usually do it against the wall in the narrow space between the refrigerator and the counter.

The dark line below my left arm is the division between freezer and refrigerator.
4. Sexting…How do you really feel about it?
a. Meh? Not my thing.
b. Can take it or leave it, usually have to be begged to do it
c. I like it, it’s like foreplay.
d. Love it! I’m always sending naughty notes and steamy pics.
e. What’s your number? I have a daily sexting list, wanna sign up?
I’d probably opt for (d), as it describes the frequency with which I find myself involved in sexy exchanges via my phone with only a slight exaggeration (“nearly always” would have been more accurate).  But to not select (e) is to deprive myself of the opportunity to solicit new sexting partners, so even though I don’t actually have a list, I may as well go with that.  I’m a stay at home parent who requires physical non-monogamy but for whom physical non-monogamy is an occasional treat at best, so I need to divest myself of the external trappings of stay at home parenthood in any fashion possible.  Without sexting I might have gone mad years ago.
“So what are you wearing?”
5. What do you love to sniff? Why?
Honestly?  Jill’s arousal.  There’s no other way to put it.  I love the way she smells when she’s sexually excited, preferably just after she’s had an orgasm or two.
After years of non-stop stay at home parenthood, cocaine is an acceptable answer as well.

Bonus: What is it? Explain how you would use it.

It’s a cock cage, something of which I would never have heard were it not for Dan Savage’s ads for Extreme Restraints.  Specifically, it’s a model known as Rubber Gates of Hell, something I learned by dropping the above image into Google Image Search.  (No, I did not cheat.  I did the image search after deducing that it was a cock cage.)  As for how I would use it, I wouldn’t.  My cock can’t be caged.
Jill’s Answers
1. How addicted are you? You are in a rush, there is no time to make your morning coffee or stop to buy it. However, you can save time and get your “energy high” by brushing your teeth with a caffeine-infused toothbrush. Would you buy and use this product? Why or why not?
It wouldn’t be coffee-scented, would it?  If so, definitely not.  When I brush my teeth, I want them to be minty-fresh, so if they could make it mint-flavored I would consider it.  Actually does it have to be the toothbrush that is infused with caffeine?  Why not just infuse the toothpaste?
To be honest, this is all the wake-up I need.
2. You made a sex list of all the things you’d like to do but haven’t done. The list was lost and discovered by your boss at work. He/she ask if they can help you tick a few items off the list. What do you say?
If it was the boss I had at my previous job, or the boss I had two jobs ago, absolutely.  Especially the boss I had two jobs ago.  He was hot.  But my current boss?  Fuck no.  He’s old and creepy.
Pictured: My current boss.

3. Sex around the house. Have you ever been bent over the kitchen counter or bent a lover over the kitchen counter and fucked? What did you like most about it? What did you like least?
I’ve definitely had some hot kitchen sex in my life, as this Sinful Sunday from 2012 will demonstrate.  But as for the specific scenario described in the question, being bent over the kitchen counter and fucked, no I have not.  Well, not in our current house, anyway.  We have a really narrow kitchen, and me being bent over the counter would result in Jack being squashed between my ass and the stove.  (Not that I think he’d have a problem with that while it was happening.)  But we’ve definitely done it up against the wall in our kitchen.  And bent over the kitchen counter in our last two houses.  We need a bigger kitchen.
4. Sexting…How do you really feel about it?
a. Meh? Not my thing.
b. Can take it or leave it, usually have to be begged to do it
c. I like it, it’s like foreplay.
d. Love it! I’m always sending naughty notes and steamy pics.
e. What’s your number? I have a daily sexting list, wanna sign up?
I would say somewhere between (c) and (d).  “I love it” is closer to my feelings on the subject than just “I like it”, but I’m definitely not always sending hot messages and pictures to sexy friends.  When I have the ability, I really enjoy it.  Unfortunately I don’t have the ability as often as I would like.  My average day is spent actively teaching children.  I can’t be checking my phone every couple minutes, and I definitely can’t take a break and get myself off when things get too steamy.  Of course, summer isn’t far away, and I’m hoping to be able to partake a bit more often once I’m on vacation!
5. What do you love to sniff? Why?
That distinctive morning bakery smell.  You might know the one I mean:  Freshly baked bread and pastries, plus coffee.  That aroma is so evocative to me, not to mention delicious.  Sorry if you thought my answer was going to be sexier than that.
Although this is pretty erotic.
Bonus: What is it? Explain how you would use it.
This is a cock cage.  It is a chastity device that a guy wears over his cock and balls to inhibit stimulation and orgasm.  Either that, or it’s some kind of binder thing for loose-leaf notebook pages.
Much cheaper at Office Depot, and available in a variety of colors!
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

TMI Tuesday: April 15, 2014

Jack2 Comments
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In many areas around the world, vacation season is approaching. This week’s TMI Tuesday asks you to tell us about your vacation style. Thank you to Virtual Sin for the questions.

Jack’s Answers
1) What mode of transportation do you prefer for vacation: a) car, b) bus, c) train, d) cruise ship, e) airplane, f) other?
I guess it depends where I’m going.  As a general rule, though, if I can make the drive in a sufficiently brief period of time that I can still enjoy the vacation itself, I’d rather do that.  In other words, unless I’ve got a couple months of accrued vacation time (and I never do), a cross-country trip will probably feature air travel rather than car travel.  That said, I do enjoy spending a week on a cruise ship; however, it’s far from my preferred mode of transportation.  Anyway, I tend not to think of cruise travel as a mode of transportation in the same way that I do an airplane or train; the cruise ship is, essentially the destination as far as I’m concerned.
2) What baggage strategy do you use when flying: a) carry-on only, b) gate check excess bags, c) check baggage, d) ship bags ahead, e) other?
We usually check our bags, though we have managed smaller trips with just carry-on.  This can be stressful, of course, as we have no way of getting certain toiletry items (i.e. liquids in larger sizes than the TSA allows) to our destination.  It also makes it impossible to bring home bottles of wine.
Thank goodness for travel-size lube!
3) What is your accommodation strategy: a) luxury hotel, b) bed and breakfast c) cheap hotel/motel, d) stay with family/friends, e) camping or RV, e) other?
If I can save a few bucks I’d gladly opt for (d) and stay with family or friends, especially sexy friends who want to watch us fuck and then join in.  Unfortunately we don’t have family and/or friends in every city we’d like to visit.  Thus, the majority of the time we choose (c).  We aren’t really accustomed to the sort of amenities one finds in a luxury hotel, and while we appreciate such comforts we find it difficult to justify the extra expense when cheaper accomodations suit us just fine.
4) What world-famous places have you visited on vacation? These can be commercial tourist attractions (Disney World), museums (The Louvre), historic places (Gettysburg), natural wonders (Yellowstone, Yosemite), or anything else?
My international travel is much more limited than Jill’s.  I’ve kissed the Blarney Stone.  I’ve been to Piccadilly Circus, the Tower of London, and Windsor Castle.  But most of the world-famous places I’ve seen are confined to North America.  Among them, I’ve been to Disneyland (though not Disney World), the Butchart Gardens, the Grand Canyon, Times Square, the Space Needle, Yosemite National Park, the Las Vegas Strip, Route 66, Hollywood Boulevard, and probably a few other places.  Oh!  And let’s not forget Randy’s Donuts in Inglewood, California.  It was in Iron Man 2.  That makes it world-famous, dammit.
5) Where do you really, really want to go someday?
I’ve actually got a long list of places I’d like to visit, both domestic and overseas.  I’m not sure I can narrow it down to just one, though in the interest of finishing these questions so I can go to bed, I’m going to go ahead and say Perth Amboy, New Jersey.  And it isn’t even on my list.  Speaking of which, bed is a place I really, really want to go right now.
6) What you would you like to go back to see again?
I’d like a return trip to Dublin, Ireland.  Few destinations are more appealing to me in every single way.
Other than wherever you happen to be, of course.
Bonus: Have you ever had sex with someone you just met while on vacation? Tell us about it.
I did, when I was sixteen going on seventeen years old.  She was the second person I ever had sex with, I met her in a hotel in Los Angeles while my mom was at a work-related seminar, and I happened to be cheating on my girlfriend back home.  It’s a sordid tale, though it is an experience I still remember fondly despite the guilt I felt.  It was the subject of a Formspring Friday post more than two years ago.
Bonus, Bonus: While vacationing, have you ever had sex in a moving car, bus, train, or airplane?
Just in an airplane, if memory serves.  Jill and I joined the Mile-High Club on a flight overseas less than a year into our relationship.  The boldest thing about it is that we didn’t even bother going to the restroom in order to do it.  Read more about it here.
Jill’s Answers
1) What mode of transportation do you prefer for vacation: a) car, b) bus, c) train, d) cruise ship, e) airplane, f) other?
Airplane, followed closely by cruise ship.  I’m not a big fan of long car rides, though in the long run it’s cheaper than air travel.  I like being able to relax and let someone else handle it, and I find that I can relax a lot easier on an airplane than I can in a car.  However, in a car it’s much easier for me to suck Jack’s cock during the ride than it is on an airplane.
2) What baggage strategy do you use when flying: a) carry-on only, b) gate check excess bags, c) check baggage, d) ship bags ahead, e) other?
We usually check our bags.  We don’t travel light, and especially if it’s a long trip we often pack way too much for just carry on.  Anyway, I’d rather check our bags and then not have to deal with them until we reach our destination.  Who wants to deal with lugging around a bunch of suitcases?  If we’re taking a short trip, say two or three days, then we can manage with just carry-on, especially if it’s just Jack and I.
When you have kids, this is your luggage.
3) What is your accommodation strategy: a) luxury hotel, b) bed and breakfast c) cheap hotel/motel, d) stay with family/friends, e) camping or RV, e) other?
Obviously I’d prefer to stay in a luxury hotel or a bed and breakfast.  Who wouldn’t enjoy such accommodations?  But we can’t afford it, so we tend to go for (c), a cheap hotel or motel.  Depending on the nature of our vacation we’re usually only in the hotel room to fuck and sleep.  A bed’s a bed.
4) What world-famous places have you visited on vacation? These can be commercial tourist attractions (Disney World), museums (The Louvre), historic places (Gettysburg), natural wonders (Yellowstone, Yosemite), or anything else?
I’ve been to Disney World and Disneyland, Yosemite, the Grand Canyon, the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, the Colisseum, and Pompeii to name just a few.  
5) Where do you really, really want to go someday?
I’d love to see Greece.
Not the same thing.
6) What you would you like to go back to see again?
Definitely Ireland.  Italy, however, is a very close second.  And since Jack has never been to Italy, it would be his first time.   Maybe Italy should be first!
Bonus: Have you ever had sex with someone you just met while on vacation? Tell us about it.
Sort of.  During a trip to Tijuana in college, I met a guy and later I let him fuck me in my dorm.  (I was attending San Diego State.)  It wasn’t like five minutes after meeting him I was bent over the hood of his car, but it didn’t take a lot longer than that.
Bonus, Bonus: While vacationing, have you ever had sex in a moving car, bus, train, or airplane?
Yes!  During a flight to Europe Jack fingered me until I came, and I gave him a handjob.  We say it counts!
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

My Writing Process: A Blog Tour

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Amanda Nicole at Peaches in Missouri asked me to participate in this blogging event; we’ve considered her a friend going back four blogs and more than two years, so I couldn’t refuse.  I was honored that she asked me to participate, doubly so because she is a (pardon the expression) vanilla blogger, and if I had to ventuer a guess I’d say that most of her blogging friends don’t regularly read sex blogs.  So I appreciated her being so willing to introduce us to that segment of the blogging world.  Incidentally the other two bloggers that Amanda Nicole tagged to participate are Kathy from Him & Me (But Mostly Me), and Melissa from Crazy Camp Camacho.  Do yourself a favor and check them out as well!

1.  What am I working on?

Sadly, not as much as I was two years ago.  2012 was our big blogging year, and saw the publication of more than 475 separate posts.  We blogged daily (with the exception of some Saturdays), keeping our finger on the proverbial pulse of the sex blogosphere for writing ideas, and of course posting about our own life experiences as well.  It was easier then; as the stay-at-home parent of a two-year-old child, I found myself with sufficient leisure time to brainstorm and actually write every single day.  Lately I have far less time for blogging; my daughter is older, and demands more of my time with her.  As a result, I find that what little alone time I actually have is better spent decompressing.  In addition, I have a number of non-blog writing projects which occupy my time.  However, despite all of this, I do find that at any given time I have at least a couple in-progress posts awaiting completion.  That I possess a drive to get every post I write as close to perfect as possible may explain why some have gone months without being completed.

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?

Hard to say.  As I am not currently reading as many blogs as I used to – at least not on a regular basis – I’m not exactly sure what the rest of the genre is doing, and for that matter I’m not even sure about the state of the genre itself.  However, at the risk of blatant self-aggrandizement I find my work to be incredibly well-written and polished, with an interesting if not totally unique perspective and often with humor to spare.  Ours may not be the sexiest blog out there (I didn’t say it isn’t, just that it may not be), but I find it pretty damn entertaining.

3.  Why do I write what I do?

From its inception, our blog has always been about giving our sexual selves a voice.  We’ve always found ourselves needing a forum to talk not only about our sexual experiences and as-yet unfulfilled wants and needs, but also sociopolitical issues that concern sexuality, sex-related news stories, and relationship issues including but not limited to non-monogamy.  We have less opportunity than we’d like to actually voice our feelings on these topics with family and friends, so using our blog as a forum for this purpose makes sense.

4.  How does your writing process work?

I tend to be thinking about sex all the time.  Even if it’s not at the forefront of my mind, i.e. when I’m getting my daughter ready for school or disarming a bomb in my official capacity as an Explosive Ordnance Disposal officer, there’s always some sexual thought lurking in the back of my mind.  Therefore ideas for posts are always coming to me.  Additionally, I read a lot, and often come across interesting news stories with a sexual bent.  When such a thing crosses my mind I make a note of it, often with some initial thoughts related thereto.  I tend to spend a few minutes – that is, when I actually have a few minutes – brainstorming and in doing so formulate a rough outline for said post.  Following this I begin to write out what is, for all intents and purposes, my first and only draft of said post.  I tend to type it out in Wordpad as opposed to the Blogger website itself.  (I’m not entirely sure why this is, but it may have to do with the fact that in the early days of our blog we would sometimes find ourselves dealing with an unresponsive browser.  Typing out a post in a word processing application and pasting it into the browser made more sense.)  The entire process takes anywhere from several hours to several days depending on how well-fleshed-out the idea happens to be, the topicality of the subject matter, and my own enthusiasm for it.

Next Monday on the Tour:

Shelby Cross from Shelby Cross, Writer

Donnee Patrese from Beginning My New Life as a Housewife and Erotic Writer

Cat from You Won’t Tame this Sassy Cat

Beck from Beck and Her Kinks

AtiyaLuv from Sincerely Yours

Angel Shrout from Ramblings of a Southern Angel

(Please note, especially if you followed a link from Peaches in Missouri, that the above blogs may be sexual in nature.)

Sinful Sunday: Boxer Briefs

Jack11 Comments
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An impromptu photo snapped in front of the bathroom mirror.  A selfie, in the parlance of our times, though that’s an expression I’m loathe to actually use.  I’m wearing a comfortable pair of boxer briefs that, in my humble estimation, accentuates the shape of my body and my modest-but-in-no-way-lacking physical endowment.  And you know what?  I look pretty good without them too.
Sinful Sunday

TMI Tuesday: April 8, 2014

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For TMI Tuesday this week we delve into the creative collaboration when sex meets art with The Art of Sex.

Jack’s Answers

1. Would you take or have you taken a sexually themed vacation getaway (i.e., Hedonism, Club Fantasy Island, Cap d’Agde)? Why or why not?
We have not yet taken this kind of a vacation, but we definitely would.  In fact, we’d really like to.  A year ago we considered it pretty seriously, going so far as to look into a number of options, but ended up not going.  Why do we want to go?  Because we are equal parts voyeur and exhibitionist, and we enjoy meeting (and hopefully fucking) like-minded individuals.  We find the idea of casting off the shackles of polite society and truly being ourselves in such an environment incredibly exciting.  Why did we ultimately end up not going?  For a number of reasons, including the fact that at the time we were still figuring out our own boundaries.  But mainly because of our own financial limitations.  Unfortunately none of these destinations are right across the street from where we live; in addition to the accommodations themselves, travel fees would also be incurred.  At best it’s the sort of thing we’d have to save up for, and even then it’s a luxury we’re not completely certain we can afford.  Part of parenthood involves extensive debate over whether the money wouldn’t be better spent on our child’s future.

We know a sound investment when we see one.
2. You have won an erotic fantasy weekend getaway package custom fit to your needs. Describe the fantasy you desire.
Ha!  You said package.  I mean, my ideal erotic fantasy weekend would actually last about a month – hey, it’s my fantasy, dammit – and would have to involve on-site round-the-clock babysitting services because there’s no way in hell Jill would agree to leave our daughter behind for a whole month, and it couldn’t  truly be the fantasy I desire without my wife present.  I mean we’re there a month, right?  (Again, it’s my fantasy.)  We’re bound to run into each other at some point.  Anyway, it would all take place at some tropical resort type location, albeit essentially private.  I imagine there would be a beach, with white sand and palm trees.  There would also be a swimming pool with a swim-up bar, and of course a couple hot tubs.  Though our room would have a king-size bed, we’d sleep on the beach.  I don’t know what activities the resort might provide, because there would be a bevy of beautiful women to look after my every need both physical and otherwise (but mainly physical), and I can’t imagine getting the sudden urge to play shuffleboard or go horseback riding if that kind of sexual variety was on offer.  The women would be diverse with regard to ethnicity, body type, and age (all legal, of course).  There would also be a group of men and women tending to my wife and her needs.  At the end of our stay, the resort would offer a re-up for another month free of charge.

3. An artist has decided that you are his/her inspiration. They want to capture the essence of your sexiness in a sculpture. What would that sculpture look like? Describe it for us or post a photo of an existing sculpture that you believe closely captures the essence of your sexiness.
This one seems to sum it up nicely.

4. You are being paid 500,000 USD to pose as a live nude model mimicking one of sculptures in the photo below. Which sculpture will you recreate live? Why?

For half a million bucks, whichever one they’d like.
5. Which book title fits your current thoughts of love, sex or romance?
a. No More Silly Love Songs
b. The Joy of the Quickie
c. Dr. Seth’s Love Prescription
d. Why Do Fools Fall In Love
Definitely b., The Joy of the Quickie.  I suppose at other times in my life I might have opted for d., or even a.  But these days quickies are, if not the usual, definitely common for Jill and I.  Of the four options, b. is the one that best fits our sex life.

Too bad this one wasn’t an option.

Bonus: Which one is you? See the sculpture below. Tell us which position you would like to occupy and write a caption.

I’m most inclined to take the position of the apparently male figure on the right.  (Big shocker there, I know.)  I like having two women at once.  I like to give head.  I like to get head.  While I have done both simultaneously, attempting it in this exact configuration (as opposed to lying supine on a bed while one woman straddles my face and another sucks my cock) would probably kill or severely injure me.  So I wouldn’t mind being the kind of guy who could actually pull it off.
Jill’s Answers
1. Would you take or have you taken a sexually themed vacation getaway (i.e., Hedonism, Club Fantasy Island, Cap d’Agde)? Why or why not?
I never have but I would love to!  I think it would be absolutely amazing!  Sex and vacation are my two favorite things in the world.  I mean, it sounds like a regular vacation but with lots of naked time and fucking.  When we’re holed up in a hotel room we’re usually fucking (or at least not wearing clothes) anyway, so it would be nice not to have to get dressed when we actually leave the room.  
2. You have won an erotic fantasy weekend getaway package custom fit to your needs. Describe the fantasy you desire.
An all-inclusive stay in a luxury hotel with a private nude beach with sexy lifeguards who dress the part.  Free daily massages featuring G-spot massage as performed by well-hung masseurs.  A large in-room jacuzzi tub, plus additional tubs throughout the common areas.  Nightly play parties.  Actually, how about one play party that lasts all weekend?
I hope housekeeping leaves a mint on our pillows, too.
3. An artist has decided that you are his/her inspiration. They want to capture the essence of your sexiness in a sculpture. What would that sculpture look like? Describe it for us or post a photo of an existing sculpture that you believe closely captures the essence of your sexiness.
I like this one.  If the hair was longer it would be perfect.
4. You are being paid 500,000 USD to pose as a live nude model mimicking one of sculptures in the photo below. Which sculpture will you recreate live? Why?
I’d like to take part in sculpture #1.  I’ve always wanted to be lifted and fucked.  That’s one of my favorite positions and yet for various reasons (including lack of balance) it’s one I’ve not really gotten to enjoy as much as I might like.
5. Which book title fits your current thoughts of love, sex or romance?
a. No More Silly Love Songs
b. The Joy of the Quickie
c. Dr. Seth’s Love Prescription
d. Why Do Fools Fall In Love
The Joy of the Quickie.  While Jack and I still enjoy hours-long marathon sex sessions on occasion, typically sex lasts nowhere near as long.  In fact, when we dare to attempt sex while our daughter is actually awake we are invariably interrupted by her or by my visiting in-laws, who lack the sense to understand that when we retreat to our bedroom we are not actually napping.
Too bad this one wasn’t an option.
Bonus: Which one is you? See the sculpture below. Tell us which position you would like to occupy and write a caption.


I’d definitely love to be the woman on top, i.e. the one getting her pussy eaten.  I love to suck cock, and in fact consider myself somewhat submissive, so the kneeling woman is very appealing.  (Actually, now that I think of it, if the standing figure doesn’t have to be male I might opt for that one, as I enjoy having my pussy eaten by one partner while going down on another.)  But overall I find so much appealing about the woman in the receiving position.  I would love to be held aloft by strong arms and being licked to orgasm by an able tongue.  Plus the other woman appears to be caressing her hair and the back of her head, and that is a huge thrill of mine.  The woman on top for sure. 
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

TMI Tuesday: April 1, 2014

Jack7 Comments
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Many of us cannot live with out computer technology and being “connected” in some manner. Computers are a huge part of our lives and thus many of us personalize our computers, smartphones, tablets, etc. to show our personalities or to be extensions of our uniqueness. This week’s TMI Tuesday is about the love affair we have with our computer devices or Computer Love.

Jack’s Answers
1. What’s the wallpaper (photo, design, etc) on your phone, laptop or PC? Is it the same or different on these devices?
Sorry to disappoint you with the mundaneness of my answer, but both my laptop and my PC have the same black background.  I know that you were expecting something a bit more personal, like a favorite movie poster or album cover, or a photo of my daughter, Jill and I dressed to the nines at a family wedding.  But when I buy a new computer or reformat an old one, the first thing I do is take a picture with my lens cap on, and use the resulting jpeg as my desktop background.  While there was a time when I put a lot of thought into my computer wallpaper, and would change it frequently to reflect my mood, these days I prefer a simple black background as it facilitates the quick location and access of the countless files I leave strewn all over my desktop.  On the other hand, I usually use some manner of geeky pop culture image as the wallpaper on my phone and tablet.  (Currently both wallpapers are Doctor Who-related.)  Compared to my desktop and PC, these devices are much more likely to be seen, and one never knows when one will run across an attractive fellow Whovian…
“Sorry, freak.  Not in a million years.”

2. What’s on the desktop of your phone or notebook/tablet (i.e., icons, files, windows etc.)
My phone has a combination clock and weather widget, plus a search bar and a bunch of apps.  My tablet is more or less the same.

Both usually feature the “low battery” warning screen as well.
3. What type of computer device do you use most often?
It’s a tie between my phone and my laptop, an Asus Something-Or-Other.  I like the convenience that my phone brings; I can carry the entire internet in my pocket wherever I go, and check websites, and send instant messages or tweet without having to lug my laptop from room to room.  Plus it can send and receive phone calls though I rarely use it for that purpose.  But I generally hate typing on my phone, especially for more than a couple sentences at a time.  Thus when I’m hanging around at home I’m usually using my laptop.
4. How many computer type devices do you own including smartphones?
Not counting no-longer-functioning devices, or ones that are generally not in regular use, the answer is five.  I’ve got a tablet, a smartphone, two laptops, and a desktop PC.  Actually now that I think of it, I’ve also got a netbook, though it’s rare that I actually use it; these days when I need an internet-capable device that I can take with me, it’s going to be my tablet.   Additionally I’ve still got three old smartphones going back to 2009, a cheap tablet that one day failed to boot up, and several old laptops which either don’t work or are semi-obsolete, and which I’ve been planning to crack open and salvage for spare parts for quite awhile now.  Someday!
5. Do you make sexy videos with your smartphone?
Again, sorry to disappoint, but the answer is no.  I mean, we have done it.  Actually, now that I think of it most of the sexy videos we’ve taken were made with a standard point-and-click camera or my DSLR.  Such is the case with both of the masturbation videos we shot for Masturbation Month in May 2012 and May 2013.  But with our smartphone, no, not really.  We are much more prolific sexy photographers than sexy videographers.
6. Do you video-chat naked or have virtual sex using your computer?
Of course.  We can’t get enough of it.  Especially me.  Being a stay-at-home parent I’ve found myself with more hours of solitary leisure time than I would be able to handle if not for Skype.  During the first couple years of our daughter’s life when she’d nap regularly once if not twice a day, sexy webcamming  (i.e. frequently but not always naked) took the edge off the fact that while I was once a free-wheeling man-about-town, I suddenly found myself with a diaper bag permanently affixed to my body, responsible for the life and well-being of another human being.  It was sometimes difficult to coordinate Skype dates, and on more than one occasion my daughter woke up crying just as things were getting good.  But when it worked out – and it did quite often – it was well worth all the misfires.  There was a period between the time she stopped napping and the time she started preschool when Skype action was much more sporadic – almost nonexistent – but now that she’s out of the house a few hours a week, I do my best to ensure that my non-sexy to-do list (housecleaning, grocery shopping, writing, television-watching) and my sexy to-do list are balanced.  Oh!  That reminds me:  Do we need to add you on Skype?  Let us know.
7. How many naked photos of your whole body or your body parts have you taken with your smartphone camera?
There is literally no way to calculate the actual number, so I’m just going to say a zillion.
You might as well ask me how many grains of sand comprise the Sahara Desert.
8. What is the most photographed part of your body?
My face.
Bonus:  Post a photo of the most photographed part of your body.
Sorry.  Not happening.
Bonus, Bonus: Do you use a screensaver? If yes, post a pic of it.
Why yes!  I do use a screensaver.  It’s the iconic After Dark module Flying Toasters.  Oh wait – no I don’t.  I used to, though.  In the mid-1990s, before Star Wars hit the wall, so to speak, I employed a system of screensavers entitled Star Wars Screen Entertainment.  Pictured is the Jawa module, wherein Jawas, droids, and Tusken Raiders ran out onto your screen and rearranged your files and icons. 
Jill’s Answers
1. What’s the wallpaper (photo, design, etc) on your phone, laptop or PC? Is it the same or different on these devices?
My laptop and my tablet both feature whatever default wallpaper was installed on the devices when I got them.  I’ve never really been one to customize a laptop or a computer in this way, certainly not as much as Jack.  The exception to the rule is my phone.  I have it with me at all times, and most of what little non-work-related emailing, social networking, etc. I do these days is done on my phone.  Given how much I use it, it makes sense that I’d want an appealing image as my wallpaper.  So I use a photo I took of my daughter.  It never fails to make me smile.
2. What’s on the desktop of your phone or notebook/tablet (i.e., icons, files, windows etc.)
My phone’s desktop includes a clock, and icons for my most-often-used apps, including my camera, text messaging, and a few games and things.  On my laptop, there are only a few shortcuts to recently-installed programs, and all the usual stuff like my recycle bin.  But there aren’t any files or anything.  When it comes to computers, I’m a much better housekeeper than Jack.
Houses, though?  Whole different story.
3. What type of computer device do you use most often?
As I said in my answer to Question #1, my phone sees much more use than my laptop (or for that matter even my tablet).  This is because I don’t have anywhere near as much time to sit at a desk, or even on the couch, and use my laptop as I’d like.  This is something of a luxury for me lately.  When I need to send an instant message, look up a recipe on the internet, or watch something on YouTube (or more likely PornHub or RedTube), it’s going to be on my phone.  I’d love to have more time to use my laptop, but most days I am going nonstop from morning until night.  Maybe when our daughter is away at college.
4. How many computer type devices do you own including smartphones?
Three.  One smartphone, one tablet, and one laptop.  That’s probably more than I need, actually.
When it comes to vibrators, though, that’s not nearly enough.
5. Do you make sexy videos with your smartphone?
I have, but it isn’t something I do very often.  First of all it’s very hard to take a video of myself with my phone.  Maybe with an actual camera on a tripod.  But my tits are pretty much the only thing I can consistently capture in a flattering way with my smartphone camera, and unfortunately there’s not much I can do with them to justify taking a video as opposed to just a picture.  I can’t get my nipples into my mouth.  I can barely reach my nipples with my tongue, and if I can it’s only for like a second.  I am always up for masturbating on camera, but again that’s the kind of thing that would be better with a camera on a tripod rather than a smartphone.  With my luck I’ll set my smartphone on a table across from the bed, prop it up against something and start recording, then lie down and get started only to have it fall over and record the ceiling.
6. Do you video-chat naked or have virtual sex using your computer?
Now this is definitely something I enjoy.  I’ve done a lot of both naked video-chatting via Skype and virtual sex via instant messenger, though not as much lately as I’d like.  In my twenties I used to enjoy sexy chats with random guys on the other side of the country or even the world.  Eventually this progressed to webcamming, and I’d often stay up until the early hours of the morning to watch random guys stroke their cocks as I played with my pussy.  Though it’s hardly a substitute for physical contact there is something both erotic and intimate about sharing such an experience with another human being.  When Jack and I lived far apart for a couple years, we’d cam often, usually right before bed.  Watching him masturbate always heightened my desire for him and ensured I gave him a good show.  When we lived together we’d look in Yahoo! Chat for a willing audience, though we transitioned to Skype and eventually put on shows for friends we’d made through our blog and Twitter.  But it’s been awhile since we’ve been able to do that, especially as our daughter has gotten older and her sleep schedule has grown more precarious.  During the late afternoon or evening when I’ve just gotten home from work she isn’t likely to give us the time we need for that sort of open-ended play, and since we’re on the West Coast most of our friends are asleep by the time she’s down for the night.  Lately the closest I come to this kind of activity is an occasional instant messenger conversation with one of a few sexy friends.  Of course, it usually happens during the day, which means I am working (or on my lunch break, anyway) and thus unable to masturbate, even though the friends with whom I’m chatting are definitely getting off.  Needless to say, I am frequently soaking wet by the time I leave work.
7. How many naked photos of your whole body or your body parts have you taken with your smartphone camera?
Whole body:  672.  Body parts:  1,509.  (Figures may be approximate.)
8. What is the most photographed part of your body?
My tits.  My ass is a very close second.
Bonus:  Post a photo of the most photographed part of your body.
Here you go!
Bonus, Bonus: Do you use a screensaver? If yes, post a pic of it.
My laptop just shuts off the display after a few minutes of non-use.  So here’s my screensaver.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Sinful Sunday: Tight Squeeze

Jack18 Comments
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We like anal sex.  We find it to be intense and pleasurable, with just the right amount of taboo to give it a slight edge over vaginal sex.  But we don’t have it as often as either of us would like, because as we frequently say, when you’re pressed for time you tend to fuck the orifice that lubricates itself.  However, while enjoying a couple days without our usual responsibilities (read: while childless and holed up in a hotel room), we broke out the lube and had some fun.  It bears noting that Jill’s first experience with anal sex, long before she and I met, was far from a positive one, venturing instead into the realm of sexual assault.  Therefore her comfort is of the utmost importance to me – in all things, not just when I’m fucking her ass – and I do my best to make sure that she enjoys herself as much as I do.  
Sinful Sunday

I’m Not Excited About Under the Skin

Jack2 Comments
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Over the last year there has been a ton of buzz about Under the Skin, a new film directed by Jonathan Glazer.  Since its premiere at the Telluride Film Festival in August, a steady and excited rumble has deafened certain parts of the internet as excited filmgoers eagerly awaited its release.  (The film opened in the United Kingdom on Friday; its U.S. release is scheduled for April 4.)  So what’s the film about?  The simple answer is that it doesn’t seem to matter in the least, as the vast majority of the aforementioned buzz has had nothing to do with the film or its science fiction plot, or for that matter the 2000 novel from which it is derived.  Nor has it anything to do with the director or his previous works, which include the Ray Winstone film Sexy Beast and the Nicole Kidman film Birth.  No, the buzz I’ve heard over the last several months almost exclusively concerns star Scarlett Johansson and her quartet of nude scenes.

There was a time when news of a major Hollywood actress baring all for the camera might inspire me to go see the film in question.  Of course, there was a time (before I was an overextended stay-at-home parent) when I might go see the film regardless.  I understand that Scarlett Johansson is a hot commodity, and I acknowledge that millions of filmgoers worldwide find her physically desirable.  She may even be a really good actress; I’ll admit to enjoying her performance the few times I’ve actually seen her in something.
Unfortunately, the days of me breaking a sweat over even a relatively revealing or explicit nude scene in a commercially-released film are long since over.  There was a time when the promise of seeing a brief flash of a well-known actress’ nipple on HBO might motivate me to stay up until well past two in the morning, even on a school night.  I’m not sure why this is; I’m guessing it’s a combination of interest and respect for the actress(es) in question, and more importantly, a lack of other suitable jerkoff material.  After all, this was a more innocent time, when the internet was less ubiquitous, and obtaining legitimate pornography generally involved leaving the house, spending money, and worst of all, being rung up by an actual human being who you’d have to look in the eye as they judged you.
I remember waiting patiently for the release of Bliss, starring Twin Peaks‘ Sheryl Lee.  And Dream Lover, starring Twin Peaks‘ Mädchen Amick.  And discovering on video Two Moon Junction, starring Twin Peaks‘ Sherilyn Fenn.  I watched Dana Delaney rise from a swimming pool completely naked in Exit to Eden, enjoyed the sight of Rose McGowan getting fucked in a bathtub in The Doom Generation despite the glaring sight of James Duval’s balls, forced myself to watch Nicolas Cage thrusting awkwardly into Laura Dern in exchange for long looks at her naked breasts in Wild at Heart, admired Annette Bening’s bush in The Grifters, stroked it to Samantha Micelli in Embrace of the Vampire, shot many a load while watching Jodie Foster take a shower in Backtrack, squinted to make out any trace of Jennifer Connelly’s labia in The Hot Spot, wore out the pause button on my VCR to catch a split-second glimpse of Julia Roberts’ nipple through the headboard in Pretty Woman, suffered through more than two hours of non-stop melodramatic schlock in order to ogle Elizabeth Berkeley in Showgirls, and stared eyes agape as Heather Graham cast off her clothes in Boogie Nights.  Sorry, make that Twin Peaks‘ Heather Graham.  Ah, the ’90s.
I know that in the past I’ve mentioned instances of celebrity nudity to which I have looked forward, notably Jessica Biel’s topless scenes in Powder Blue.  So understand that I’m not saying that there are no celebrities I find attractive, or no instances of movie or television nudity that have gotten my attention over the last few years.  There certainly are.  The 2011 film Take This Waltz, in which Michelle Williams, Sarah Silverman, and Jennifer Podemski appear full-frontally nude in a lengthy shower scene, was for me what I’m guessing Under the Skin is for many pervy filmgoers today.  I’m not sure why this film intrigued me so; I don’t consider myself a fan of Sarah Silverman, but the thought of seeing her naked was exciting.  She seemed to me the least likely mainstream actress to drop trou for the camera.  I suppose that I liked the scene perhaps because of its boldness.  It wasn’t erotic or even overtly sexy; none of the women kissed or touched each other.  It was a rather mundane depiction of three women taking a shower.  Scrubbing.  Having a conversation.
And that’s when it kind of hit me:  Maybe it was the decided lack of glamour that I found attractive, and even arousing.  Generally speaking, I can’t relate to the current crop of big-name Hollywood actresses.  I’m almost thirty-eight years old.  Despite the fact that I’m in contact almost daily with a woman ten years my junior – a woman I not only desire but consider a close friend – I acknowledge that the things that matter to this specific cohort – and for that matter, to men the same age – are vastly different than the things that matter to me.  Generally speaking I don’t know what makes the younger generation tick, and that’s if they come from a walk of life similar to my own.  Put them in several-thousand-dollar Versace gowns and near-priceless jewelry on loan from Martin Katz and while I’ll admit they look stunning they might as well not even be the same species as I.  
And that is, generally speaking, why I’m over celebrities, or at the very least why I don’t fantasize about them, certainly not the way I did when I was a much younger man.  While I certainly value an emotionally-raw or award-winning performance, it is rare that I find myself sexually attracted to a female celebrity, at least to the point of masturbating to a revealing scene, or to a fantasy of my own invention.  I must disclose that I belong to more than one forum dedicated to the subject of celebrity nudity, the kind of place where much of the conversation over the past several months has concerned Scarlett Johansson’s aforementioned nude scenes.  I visit these forums on a more or less daily basis.  I check them to see if some groundbreaking piece of movie nudity-related news has broken, and in the off chance that some high definition screen capture of a hitherto unknown to me nude scene has been posted.  But for more than any other reason, I check them out of habit.  
A big part of the reason why I can’t relate to, and am therefore only superficially attracted to, the actresses and musicians who grace the covers of countless checkout aisle tabloids and entertainment magazines is because in the past couple years as a sex blogger I have made the acquaintance of countless women to whom I can relate, and to whom I am seriously attracted, not only physically but intellectually as well.  And it helps that many of these women are attracted to me as well.  

I find that my opinion of a woman’s hotness and desirability is greatly influenced by whether or not she thinks I’m hot and desirable.
— Jack (and Jill) (@jackandjillcpl) March 9, 2014

What’s the use in pining for some inaccessible supposed ideal who you’re unlikely to ever meet, much less take to bed?  I have friends both male and female, married and single, who lust openly for some celebrity, who may even have a list of celebrities with whom they are allowed to have sex in the off chance they meet them at a crowded, smelly Wal-Mart in our far-from-Hollywood pocket of suburbia.  And that’s cute.  It’s good to have goals in life, though deliberately setting goals that you know you’ll never actually achieve seems counterproductive to me.  Still, I understand the need for fantasy; when slogging through decades of monogamy a sliver of hope may be what keeps them sane, and/or faithful.
Oh, and since I’ve mentioned the word “ideal”, I should point out for the umpteenth time that I usually reject anything that society tells me is ideal.  Doesn’t matter if it’s the ideal life, the ideal job, the ideal partner, or the ideal state of monogamy.  If the population at large expects me to conform to it I’m probably going to scoff.  Call me crazy, but I’m more likely to fantasize about the cute checker at the grocery store or the young woman I sometimes see in the elevator in my building than some flashbulb-blinded queen of the silver screen standing on the red carpet in a low-cut dress at the Oscars.  
Why?  Well, at the risk of applying a label where it is perhaps unwarranted, I find women in the first category much more “real”.  That is to say, they are the sort of women I encounter in my daily life, and thus I can relate to them, and because of this I find them attractive.  They have screaming, colicky babies who throw temper tantrums and don’t nap when they’re expected to.  They have trouble sticking to a diet.  They have mountains of debt.  They have unreasonable bosses who take their personal problems out on them.  I am not trying to insinuate that an A-list Hollywood actress is in any way unreal, though one could be forgiven for thinking so given her predilection for regularly swapping out her own identity for that of a character, and for pay.  It’s simply the nature of the beast.  
While most of the time I tend to get off to sexy chats with hot friends, well-written erotica, or provocative posts by my many fellow bloggers, if I’m looking for a visual turn-on for the purposes of masturbation and orgasm, I’d rather watch a porn film than a brief, often chaotically-edited scene wherein I have to squint through a darkly-lit film set in order to catch sight of an actress’ breasts for two frames.  Granted, rather than a big-budget studio porn production I’d prefer to get off to a grainy DIY scene featuring actual people, i.e. unpaid non-actors.  But if I’m determined to watch something sexy I’ll take what’s available.  At the top of the hierarchy is some kind of amateur video shot with a handheld camera featuring a woman (or women) I might conceivably know.  Below that is glossy studio porn.  And below that is the artfully shot Hollywood film with a six-second scene of partial nudity.
I understand why people get so excited about the artfully shot Hollywood film with a six-second scene of partial nudity.  I understand why certain segments of the filmgoing public spend months looking forward to one high-profile nude scene and then once it’s released begin anticipating the next one.  After all, for many years I was counted amongst their number.  The intention of a nude scene may be to symbolize a character’s internal vulnerability rather than to titillate.  While it might not be as revealing or as overtly erotic as porn, for some there is something very appealing about getting an intimate look at a movie star or other celebrity whose career we may have followed for years, and to whom we have developed an emotional attachment.  
But not for me.  There are few actresses to whom I have such an attachment.  That said, I need to check Netflix for a film called Not Another Happy Ending; I understand Karen Gillan gets naked.
– Jack