Welcome to sexy fun and playfulness at TMI Tuesday.

Our blog launched September 18, 2008. Yep, we’ve been doing this a decade.

 

Jack’s Answers
1. Which animal listed below represents your true sexual self?
a. Chipmunk – cute and cuddly
b. Monkey – all about being mischievousness
c. Tiger – I’ve earned my stripes
I’d love to think I’m a tiger – I’ve definitely earned my stripes – but whereas I see myself as fierce and in control, my partners may very well see a monkey. I definitely masturbate like one.

2. Your partner is in the mood for sexy fun and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!
C. Never gonna happen.

3. Which of these sexual descriptive labels closely matches you?
a. Dominant
b. Submissive
c. Top
d. Bottom
e. Switch
f. Kinkster
More than any of the others, I am dominant. I do not see myself as being a Top, and while I am pretty kinky I don’t know that I would identify as a kinkster; that seems misleading. I’m not submissive, really; at best I am a switch, but even that makes me sound more sexually submissive than I actually am. So I’m gonna go with “dominant”.

4. Would you rather have your enemy eaten by a shark or die in an earthquake getting swallowed up by earth?
Definitely eaten by a shark. I mean, it’s not even close. In theory if my enemy falls into a fissure in the Earth’s surface I may assume they’re dead, but if I actually see them eaten by a shark in a glorious frenzy of flesh and razor-sharp teeth, if I watch the gory spectacle from the railing of a yacht with a bucket of popcorn, then I know it for sure.

5. For the next year, would you rather be dressed like a mime every day OR look normal but not be allowed to talk?
Probably dress like a mime. While I feel like it would really trigger my social anxiety, which can be problematic even when I’m dressed in a more nondescript fashion, the truth is that I can’t go five minutes without speaking, much less a whole year. I mean, I saw that Twilight Zone episode, and the only way I can possibly pull that off is by cheating.

Bonus: What’s the most beautiful word in the world?
Impeachment.

Jill’s Answers

1. Which animal listed below represents your true sexual self?
a. Chipmunk – cute and cuddly
b. Monkey – all about being mischievousness
c. Tiger – I’ve earned my stripes
Honestly, it depends on my mood. Sometimes I’m cute and cuddly like a chipmunk, wanting to snuggle and caress. Other times I’m more likely to pounce like a tiger. Eager to be in control and please my partner.

2. Your partner is in the mood for sexy fun and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!
If I’m extremely tired I’ve probably already fallen asleep on the couch or reading to my kid while I try to get her to fall asleep. Although a massage sounds absolutely wonderful. Sign me up for that.

3. Which of these sexual descriptive labels closely matches you?
a. Dominant
b. Submissive
c. Top
d. Bottom
e. Switch
f. Kinkster
Depends on my mood and my partner. Sometimes I’m more submissive – I do enjoy being restrained – and at other times I’m more dominant and wanting to be in control. [Editor’s note: Can confirm.]

4. Would you rather have your enemy eaten by a shark or die in an earthquake getting swallowed up by earth?
I don’t really have enemies. But I think an earthquake seems less gruesome.

5. For the next year, would you rather be dressed like a mime every day OR look normal but not be allowed to talk?
Dressed like a mime. Their outfits aren’t too bad and it would save time getting dressed in the morning. Plus I saw The Little Mermaid and it’s frustrating to communicate without a voice.

Bonus: What’s the most beautiful word in the world?
Love.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Deja vu TMI Tuesday as these questions were originally posted November 18, 2014.

Fill in the blank

Jack’s Answers

1. When I can’t sleep I _____ .
I often analyze some aspect of pop culture: A recent television episode, a new movie I’ve seen, some comic or video game I remember enjoying in childhood (or conceivably even as an adult). This is usually so boring that it nicely does the trick and puts me to sleep.

2. My dream bedroom would be full of _____ .
Sexy women.

3. If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be _____ .
The question is not anywhere, the question is anywhen. In other words, I have no problem waking up here, in my own bed. But I’d love to wake up earlier than 5:30 or six.

4. I need to _____ at night.
Sleep. And in order to do that, I need to decompress, often by watching something lighthearted on TV, catching up on Twitter, building something out of Legos, or just staring at the wall.

5. _____ would truly be a nightmare.
Failing to flip Congress in November.

6. Night time is the right time to _____ .
Sleep. For me, I mean. I don’t wish to slight anyone who works nights and sleeps during the day.

Bonus: Briefly tell us about your last dream–erotic or not.
I was running from the giant boulder at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Pretty sure it caught up to me, too.

Jill’s Answers

1. When I can’t sleep I _____ .
When I can’t sleep I usually either masturbate or go to the couch and watch TV or read. If I’m feeling restless, masturbating usually helps relax my body enough to sleep.

2. My dream bedroom would be full of _____ .
Things that make me the happiest. I don’t have any specific examples at the moment, but I would want to walk into the room and just feel peaceful, relaxed, and happy.

3. If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be _____ .
In Europe, about to embark on an amazing adventure.

4. I need to _____ at night.
I need to relax at night. If I don’t allow myself a little time to relax and decompress, I have trouble shutting down enough to sleep.

5. _____ would truly be a nightmare.
Losing people I love.

6. Night time is the right time to _____ .
Night time is the right time to relax under the stars next to someone you love.

Bonus: Briefly tell us about your last dream–erotic or not.
The last dream I remember, I was on a plane, leaving for vacation.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Enjoy a particularly alluring peek at Jill’s upper thigh.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

I’ve never identified as submissive.  My wife is not particularly dominant.  That being said, there are times when she needs to get on top and ride, and it’s so hot that there’s no way I’ll ever say no.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

We’re back! It’s been a busy, eventful summer. Here’s one of the highlights.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

Heyyyy! TMI Tuesday time again.

1. Is your sex life more fantasy or reality?
These days, it’s probably equal parts both. While there’s a lot more reality than fantasy than has been the case over the last year and a half, there’s definitely a significant fantasy aspect owing at least in part to the fact that most of my partners are too far away to see regularly.

2. If you could hook-up with a past lover (with no repercussions or regret), who would it be and why? (No need to use real names just briefly describe the person and their relationship to you.)
This was a tough one to answer. Most of my former lovers have been good-to-amazing in bed, and any of them was a potential answer to this question. Ultimately I think I’d go with the girlfriend I had in my mid-twenties; at that age I was really good at sex, but arguably lacking in some of the confidence I possess now. I wouldn’t mind revisiting the sexual (and undeniable emotional) connection I had with this person in my current state.

3. You can only indulge in one of the following sex acts for the rest of your life, which would you choose to enjoy?
a. oral sex, only giving
b. 69
c. oral sex, only receiving
d. mutual masturbation
Wow. This is also a toughie. I enjoy all of these, but I don’t know that I can possibly choose one at the expense of the other three. I really love getting head, and I love giving it as well, possibly more. But I don’t think I could select (a) with the understanding that I’d never experience (c) ever again. I’d go with 69, but while I really do enjoy that particular act, sometimes I want to take turns and truly focus on one of us at a time. I’m inclined to go with (a) if only because that doesn’t preclude me from fingering my partner, and I’m told my fingering skills are considerable. Still, the thought of fingering without eating at the same time is pretty sad.

4. With each lover do you pay attention to what they want or do you have a repertoire that you stick to when having sex?
I realize everybody is different, so while I have a default repertoire, I try to check in with my partner and see what’s working for her, then adjust said repertoire based on her needs and desires.

5. Do you initiate sex for healthful benefits, e.g., to sleep better or relieve pain?
I suppose that I have. Not for the specific benefits stated above, but because emotional connection and release sometimes – often? – provide me significant mental health benefits.

Bonus: Do you understand the clitoris?
Probably not. I’m just glad I can find it.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

I don’t like to keep a beautiful woman waiting, but anticipation can be an exciting part of foreplay.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

Here’s the lovely Rye demonstrating a pair of thumb cuffs.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

What do ice-cream and sex have in common? We discuss both this TMI Tuesday, that’s what.

Jack’s Answers

1. If you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be and why?
Rocky Road, because the rougher, the better. (You thought I was going to say Chubby Hubby, didn’t you?)

2. What are the best sexy skills you bring to a sexual relationship?
I’ve been thoroughly praised for my oral talents, especially when coupled with my finding-the-G-spot skills. In fact, I’m told that my cock features a curve that makes it instrumental for stroking my partner’s G-spot during missionary-position sex. Until recently, I had no idea about the aforementioned curve, but then I’ve been viewing my member from one angle for my entire life, so my perspective is limited.

3. What is the single largest problem causing you angst in your romantic relationship (current or most recent relationship)?
I’m going to go with geographic distance. Lately, Jill and I are doing much better than we have been in a very long while. We are making more of an effort to connect romantically and sexually, and when we do it’s great! If I have to come up with some source of angst within my marriage, it would probably be the fact that we rarely have the ability to go out and do things just the two of us; babysitters are in short supply, and having a high-functioning eight-year-old present is hardly conducive to romantic dates. However, this is a minor nitpick; everything else is pretty much where we need it to be. So I guess that for the purposes of highlighting a more serious problem I’ll need to examine my other relationships. All of these are long-distance, and it sucks. Make no mistake; they are incredibly fulfilling, even considering the miles that separate us. And when we are together it’s all very worth it. But holy crap, it would be so much easier if seeing one of my partners didn’t involve hopping a plane.

4. What is the best part about being in a relationship with you?
If you want a genuine answer, you’ll have to ask someone who’s in a relationship with me. I’m likely to come up with some sort of self-deprecating bullshit.

5. What is the biggest misconception that people have about you?
Probably that I’m monogamous. Because that is the default assumption, isn’t it?

Bonus: When you look at old photos of yourself, do you like what you see?
Well, that depends. The one where I’m all decked out for the Homecoming dance? Definitely. Even at seventeen I was hot as hell. But that one where I’m a toddler and my mom caught me splashing around in the (hopefully just-flushed) toilet? I like that one too; I was an adorable two-year-old. The numerous Sinful Sunday photos featuring myself in various states of undress? Love ’em. Okay, forget what I said earlier. I always like what I see.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

You’re undoubtedly familiar with He’s Just Not That Into You, Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo’s 2004 New York Times bestseller and the basis for a 2009 film of the same name. Aimed at single women, the point of the book is that if the guy you’re into isn’t making any effort to pursue you, it means – that’s right – he’s just not that into you. It might sound defeatist, but it’s actually an empowering no-excuses plan for cutting romantic dead weight. That guy you’ve been talking to, who isn’t really talking back? He probably isn’t getting over a painful breakup. He’s not shy, or unused to communicating via instant messaging platforms. You aren’t going to bring him out of his shell. Stop wasting your own time.

It’s time for a sequel, though: A self-help book aimed at guys who are pursing similarly disinterested women. In fact, I suspect that this pursuit is much more widespread – certainly more insidious – than the one addressed in the aforementioned book. If you’re a woman, you’ve almost certainly experienced the phenomenon I’m about to describe, and if you’re a guy you’ve undoubtedly perpetrated it. I know I have.  Maybe you’ve done so without realizing you were being an exasperating, bothersome troglodyte, or maybe you’ve done so deliberately, for the purposes of annoying, invalidating, or otherwise breaking a woman who didn’t show you the obeisance you felt you were owed.

I’m talking about sending a woman a message – typically flirty, sometimes sexual, often while trying to arrange a hookup or while lubing up prior to a fun evening of masturbation – but receiving no reply, and then waiting a day, a week, or a month and doing it again. Same woman, same circumstances, maybe even the same introductory message.

(“Hey beautiful”, “Thinking of u”, and “Sup” are relatively uninspired examples of the category, even when sent to someone with whom you’ve got an established “messaging relationship”, i.e. this is not the first time you’ve exchanged messages. Unless you’re attracted to much different women than I, you may find greater success if you endeavor to use complete sentences and correct punctuation, or at the very least more than one syllable.)

Can you see where I’m going with this, fellas? The subject of your ardor didn’t fail to reply because her DMs are turned off. Her phone isn’t on silent because she’s been in church nonstop for the last several weeks. She hasn’t downgraded to a late ’90s flip phone to save money. She’s just not that into you. Of course, because your message was predicated not by a desire for a stable, give-and-take relationship but by the need to see a picture of her tits so you could get off, you’re far less likely to heed my advice than readers of Behrendt and Tuccillo’s book the next time you’re on the verge of typing out another likely-to-be-ignored message.

In fact, as the title of this hypothetical book, may I suggest She’s Just Not That Into You (But You’re Going to Pursue and Annoy Her Anyway)? Because most guys are somewhat obtuse, and coupled with the male entitlement most of us are raised to believe is simply correct behavior, I see no reason to believe that the male collective is actually going to be helped by such a self-help book.

This book would adopt a similar no-excuses approach as the earlier one, but I hope you’re into tough love because there’s going to be a lot of that as well:

Seriously, why would you even think she’s into you? You, with your negligible hygiene, your all-encompassing misanthropy, your unwavering dedication to archaic gender roles, and your complete lack of ambition save your eight-hour-a-day Overwatch regimen. Did you think she’d be charmed by your tendency to say six semi-polite words before steering the conversation toward sex in the most explicit terms imaginable? Or was it the way you flaunt your feminist cred by insisting your dates pay their own way that you thought would win her over? I’m not saying that no woman in the world is interested in the same things you are, nor am I saying that the stench of Axe Body Spray commingling with the smell of fetid sweat couldn’t possibly be the mouthwatering aroma of romance to someone; what I am saying, however, is that if you find yourself involuntarily celibate, maybe you should do better.

Men are basically flannel shirts in the 1990s. We have flooded the market to the point that women don’t need to grab the first one that comes along. To further the economics parallel, men are poorly manufactured, and not always functional as advertised. Producers (i.e. men) must improve their product (themselves) in order to increase consumer confidence, and with it, demand. At the very least, a drastic change in marketing strategy is called for.

The average woman can theoretically take her pick of dozens of guys, many of whom can form coherent, grammatically-correct sentences, exhibit something akin to feminist values without once using the word “feminist”, correctly operate soap, shampoo, toothpaste, and deodorant; come up with better first-date ideas than “smoke weed and watch Netflix at your place”, and take decent selfies featuring pants that are (a) on and (b) buttoned and zipped up. Which is not necessarily to say you’re a creep or otherwise undesirable. It’s just that she’s looking at a stack of job applications submitted by guys who have more to offer than you do.

Maybe your personalities don’t quite click. You’re a cat person and she prefers dogs. She doesn’t like guys with your eye color. You live two subway transfers and a bus ride from her apartment. Your sexting game isn’t as on-point as the other guy she’s been talking to. She doesn’t view your in-law apartment in your parents’ basement as conducive to romance. Your casual but virulent racism and misogyny are deal-breakers.

Alternatively, maybe she isn’t writing back to you because she is overwhelmed by a barrage of horrible male behavior including but not limited to rape threats in retaliation for daring to have a career in literally any field, being called “bitch” and “cunt” for failing to reply to DMs, gaslighting, slut-shaming, victim-blaming, doxxing, the wage gap, and so many unsolicited cock shots that she could launch an internet startup called Cock Shots ‘R’ Us. It’s not all your doing; these things likely come from a variety of despicable avenues, but your overbearing, pestering need to have your existence validated by someone who may be working harder than you can fathom on a daily basis to validate her own might be the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back.

Either way, her silence signals that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you. Maybe it’s temporary and she’ll be back, but maybe not. She doesn’t owe you an explanation, but if you’re so dependent on the illusion of being the center of the universe that you won’t be able to sleep tonight without one, roll a twenty-sided die and choose from the following:

1-5 She and her significant other have reconciled.
6-10 She’s given up social media for religious reasons.
11-15 She’s in a tunnel and has no phone signal.
16-20 She hates you and is fucking your brother.

The bottom line is that you need to shake your feelings of entitlement and do a better job reading between the lines: If the last few weeks (or longer) worth of messages have been sent exclusively by you, give it up already; she’s moved on. (If the “messaging relationship” is in its relative infancy, replace “weeks” with “days”.) And it’s probably best that you delete the conversation in order to properly resist temptation.  She doesn’t have to come right out and tell you that she doesn’t want to talk to you; most women avoid such direct confrontation out of fear of reprisal.  I know, I know – you’re “one of the good guys”, you’d never verbally abuse her or post her personal information and pictures on Reddit, #notallmen, and whatever else.  I hear you.  But you can’t really expect her to take that at face value, can you?

If she wants to talk sex with you – or the weather, or sports, or movies – she’ll let you know; the ball is entirely in her court. So knock it the fuck off.