During the Holiday season, Jill and I get into the spirit by watching Christmas movies, as well as the Christmas specials we enjoyed as children. Watching a clunky stop-motion Rankin-Bass classic like “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” on DVD takes both of us back to a more innocent time. However, since this is a sex blog, that’s the last you’ll read of innocent times.

This year, we thought we’d watch some Christmas-related porn. We already had a couple movies, one of which we played at our Porn and Pizza Party two years ago, but given repeated viewings, some of the novelty had worn off. So we went online to see what else was out there, and determine whether any of it was worth seeking out and actually watching.

Some basic research, including a search of www.iafd.com (The Internet Adult Film Database) yielded Will and Ed’s Excellent Boner Christmas, as well as the following:

All I Want For Christmas is Ass
All I Want For Christmas is a Gang Bang
Anal Holiday
Barely Legal Christmas
Big Titty Christmas
Bitch That Stole Christmas, The
Christmas Cums Early
Dirty Santa
Gina’s Very Merry Christmas Orgy
Hercules Cums For Christmas
Here Cums Santa Clause [sic]
Horny Holiday
I Saw Mommy Eating Santa Claus
Miracle on 34D Street
Santa Comes Twice
Santa is Coming All Over Town
Santa is Naughty and Nice
Santa’s Cummin’!
Santa’s Itty Bitty Titties Helpers
Santa’s Sluts
Seymore Butts’ Christmas Orgy
Seymore Butts’ Merry Fucking Christmas
Spanked By Santa
Tits That Saved XXX-mas, The
Very Creamy Christmas, A
Very Very Bad Santa

We found a couple suitable titles online, and watched them one night last week. I’ll spare you the reviews; suffice it to say that the gimmick didn’t exactly improve the films. In our opinion, porn isn’t a genre where anything is gained by the addition of Santa hats to the performers’ heads, candy canes to their orifices, or Christmas trees to the background (as seen below).

Call me a Scrooge, but we’ll gladly watch our copy of Deep Inside Asia Carrera all year round.

-Jack