It’s no secret that I love to suck Jack’s cock! Being so up close and personal with it can be a very intimate thing. I love hearing his breathing change in response. I love feeling him tense up as his arousal builds. And I love tasting him when he explodes for me. If fucking didn’t feel as good as it does, I might be content to make Jack cum exclusively by mouth forever. And it’s not just Jack. Were the opportunity to present itself I would be interested in finding out whether another guy was as susceptible to my mouth magic as my husband is.
So obviously I am good at giving oral sex. The question is, am I any good at receiving it? It has honestly never occurred to me to ask such a question. But I recently came across an article on SexIs, the online magazine of adult retailer EdenFantasys that talks about womens’ reluctance to enjoy, or even to engage in, cunnilingus. As someone who has always enjoyed it, I find it distressing to consider that a multitude of psychological barriers and social issues might prevent women from getting as much pleasure out of it than they could otherwise.
The first such barrier cited by the article is concern over taste and smell. The author suggests washing daily, which actually sounds like common sense to me. The deeper issue is the stigma that surrounds human sexuality, at least in the United States. Women’s health is almost totally disregarded. We are not taught hygiene in public schools, or if we are the knowledge is insufficient. Meanwhile parents may be embarrassed, ill-prepared, or simply unable to bring up such a subject with their daughters at home. This inability is, again, due to the stigma surrounding sex.
Another barrier is lack of comfort with one’s physical appearance, specifically one’s vulva. While I can’t speak for the rest of the world, in the United States young women are taught to strive for an unrealistic, often unattainable physical ideal. Those who deviate from this ideal are marginalized, shunned, and even insulted for not living up to the standard. With such unfair emphasis placed on physical beauty, is it any wonder that young women suffer from nearly-crippling self-consciousness? The author of this article advises women to “see the beauty” of their vulvae, and presumably the rest of their bodies as well. This is excellent advice.
Another block mentioned in the article is the fact that some women don’t feel entitled to the attention that comes from oral sex. I personally can’t fathom this. The attention feels great! Saying that you aren’t entitled to oral sex is like saying that you aren’t entitled to ice cream. Everyone deserves some delicious ice cream once in awhile, and I think everyone deserves oral sex too. The author points out that many of the women who claim a lack of entitlement do not hesitate to give their partners oral sex, and ensuring that they receive pleasure from it. Though I am largely unfamiliar with the D/s dynamic, this attitude sounds very submissive to me.
That brings me to the next point made in the article. Submissive women may abstain from receiving cunnilingus if they feel it to be a dominant act that runs counter to their inclinations. While it’s true that for some, receiving oral sex is a dominant act and giving oral sex is a submissive act, this is not always the case. As the author mentions, there are ways of tailoring cunnilingus so that the recipient is in a submissive position. I do enjoy the submissive aspect of sucking cock. But sometimes when I go down on Jack, even when I am on my knees and he’s got a handful of my hair, it can be extremely empowering, even dominant, to know that I am the one who’s turning him on so much. As the author states, “Being a sub does not mean you have to forfeit your sexual pleasure for your partner.”
For those who simply can’t relax enough to enjoy oral sex, I would recommend using a sex toy while your lover is actively attempting to pleasure you. Speaking as someone who doesn’t usually have trouble enjoying oral sex, I find that sometimes using my favorite rabbit vibrator on my clit while Jack licks my pussy, or perhaps penetrating myself with said vibrator while Jack licks my clit really does the trick.
Though I love cunnilingus now, there was a time when I didn’t enjoy it as much, or at least as consistently. One of my ex-boyfriends always put too much pressure on my clit, to the point that it became painful. Needless to say, this failed to get me off. After awhile, I tried to discuss it with him, and he got offended, basically insinuating that the problem was with me. Even after I (wisely) broke up with him, I remained a bit apprehensive about receiving oral sex.
Jack changed all of that. By his own account, he was very experienced in giving head when we met, and certainly quite good at it. Unlike some guys, his concern when eating my pussy is not getting it over and done with so he can fuck me without feeling guilty that I didn’t have an orgasm. No, Jack’s concern is my pleasure, and making sure that I am completely sexually satisfied. Even from the first time, Jack proved himself skilled at listening for subtle cues and reading my body. I’ve always felt like I could tell him, if necessary, what I needed him to do in order to make me climax: “Softer, please.” “Slower.” “Longer licks.”
I suspect that Jack is not as uncommon as he sounds. I believe that most guys truly love going down on a woman the way he does, and what they may lack in skill they make up for in enthusiasm (or perhaps vice versa). The first step is to understand how beautiful and how sexual you are. The second step is to convince yourself that you’re worthy of pleasure, and that it can fit into your sexual repertoire regardless of how you identify. The third step is to ask for it, or better yet, go get it! Embrace cunnilingus! It’s a lot of fun, and it allows your lover to give you pleasure in a far more precise fashion than fucking.
This post was sponsored by EdenFantasys.
