As for Jack, he looks sexy in anything, from jeans and a T-shirt to running shorts and a tank top.  Because he dresses casually around the house, I really take notice when he cleans up.  Anytime he’s wearing slacks and a dress shirt, especially if we’re at a wedding or some other formal event, I spend the whole night imagining tearing off his clothes and jumping him.  It really turns me on.

If you want to ask us anything, drop us a line on Formspring, or use the handy Formspring widget on the right-hand side of our blog.  We like sexy questions!

We thought of a few different interpretations for this particular theme involving Band-Aids, a jump rope, fresh produce, and a thermometer.  (Sorry, it was an oral thermometer.)  In the end, this one did the best job conveying the theme while still being naughty.

Head over to The Naughty Hangout and see who else participated this week!
-Jill

****MATURE CONTENT: This post is for adults only. Visit another Tuesday when things aren’t so sexy, if you are uncomfortable with sexuality.****

[Obviously the above copy is from the TMI Tuesday blog, and not ours.  This whole blog is for adults only.  If you are uncomfortable with sexuality, you probably aren’t reading this.]

Today’s TMI Tuesday was inspired by my friends at Infidelity Chronicles.

5. You’re a penis, which love canal (that’s a vagina) would you most like to visit:
a. short and shallow
b. fall into the gap, gliding smoothly along the slick walls
c. tight suction lip-lock
d. none, I prefer the back door thank you
Tight suction lip-lock sounds really good.  I don’t know if I would like “short and shallow”, because if I was a penis I’d probably be on the large side and I would want to be able to get all the way in.  I’m not really sure what “fall into the gap…” means, maybe because I don’t have a penis and I’ve never done that before, so that’s out.  And while I would probably try the back door, I prefer pussy so that would be my first priority if I was a penis.  So I would go with the suction cup, or whatever the hell it was.

Bonus: What is the perfect name for your penis or a penis you use often?
For some reason The Love Machine keeps coming up.  That sounds very seventies.

World Penis Size Map: Where would you like to visit? click

This week’s picture features the aftermath of some s’more-making that occurred this weekend.  I love s’mores!  They always remind me of sitting by a campfire when I was little, and they’re so fun to eat.

– Jill

Today we ripped off a blogger named Tense Teacher of the blog Tense for a Reason. We’ve ripped her off not so long ago as well. It’s pretty amazing since she stopped posting in 2007. But that’s where we live as a thief. Also, it’s long so we’ll do it in parts. She does not say where she got it from. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player’s posts. It’s a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

Jack’s Answers

1. Song that always makes you sad? 
I answered a similar question in a TMI Tuesday from last year:

“untitled #1“, also known as “Vaka“, by Icelandic rock band Sigur Rós. Though I haven’t the slightest idea what it’s about, the song itself is haunting thanks to lead singer Jónsi Birgisson’s vocals, but it becomes even more tragic and heartbreaking upon watching the video, which depicts post-apocalyptic schoolchildren enjoying recess in the middle of nuclear winter.

At the time, Hedone commented that she didn’t think she’d watch the video.  But in the off chance that she reads this and has changed her mind, I’m embedding said video below.

(Note that all the versions I found on YouTube cut right to the vocals, but the album version of the track features an instrumental portion at the beginning.)

2. Last thing you bought? 
As of this writing (although not necessarily when it’s posted), the most recent purchase I made was lunch today: A couple slices of pizza.

3. Last person you argued with? 
Probably my mom.

4. Do you put butter before putting the peanut butter on? 
No.  If I’m eating a peanut butter sandwich, I’m not sure the butter is going to add anything.  Maybe if I’m grilling it, but I’ve honestly never made a grilled peanut butter sandwich.

5. One of your stuffed animals’ names as a kid? 
I can only recall one stuffed animal from my childhood that had a name, and to be perfectly honest it’s the sort of name that would immediately identify me to anyone reading this who happens to have known me during childhood.  So I’ll just say that my stuffed kitty-cat was named Mr. Jingles, with the understanding that I never had a stuffed kitty-cat, much less one named Mr. Jingles.

6. Did you ever at one time own a Barenaked Ladies CD? 
Not a physical copy of one, but I’ve got mp3s of pretty much all of their stuff.

7. Favorite day of the week? 
I’m going to say Friday.  While it’s not usually an easy day for me by any means, I have the entirety of my weekend ahead of me.  While I love the relative lack of work on Saturdays, by Saturday night my weekend is already winding down.

8. Favorite sundae topping? 
I’m probably starting a trend here, because I know that my answers to some of this week’s questions will be along the lines of “I can’t choose”, but I can’t choose.  If I’m having a sundae, it’s got to have hot fudge or chocolate syrup, or occasionally a warm sliced strawberry topping of which I’m fond.  It should also have chopped or slivered almonds, although I’ll gladly take walnuts if necessary.  Whipped cream is not necessary but I don’t usually refuse it; and a cherry is essential.  And if it’s got all that, you may as well add a banana.

9. Did you take piano lessons? 
No.  I once had an electronic keyboard, but I sucked at it.  My parents weren’t about to invest money in piano lessons – or for that matter a piano itself – for a kid who was so obviously bereft of musical talent.

10. Most frequent song played?
It sounds like this is a follow-up to the previous question.  Since I’ve never played a song on the piano, I will instead go with the song most frequently played on my mp3 player.  That would be the Oscar-winning Theme From Shaft, by Isaac Hayes.  Going back to my formative years, this song has always been a favorite of mine.  Few songs can inspire an awkward thirteen-year-old to feelings of badassery like this one.

11. T.V. show you secretly enjoy?
There aren’t any.  I enjoy the things I enjoy openly and without shame.  I’ve never understood the concept of a guilty pleasure, either.

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey? 
Definitely basketball, despite the fact that I lack the height, and I’m decent on ice skates.

13. Date someone older or younger? 
No preference.  I’ve dated older, younger, and the same age, and I generally had a pretty good time of it.  Age was never really a deciding factor.

14. One place you could travel right now? 
I need to travel to bed soon, as I’m writing this at 12:30 AM after a very long day.

15. Do you use umbrellas? 
No.  I carry one when I’m out with the baby, but I haven’t used it as it’s been pretty dry the last couple months.  In the past, I’ve never been particularly good about remembering to bring an umbrella, and at any rate I tend not to spend much time outside when it’s raining anyway.

16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem? 
O Canada! Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command
With glowing hearts we see thee rise
The true north strong and free!
And stand on guard, O Canada
We stand on guard for thee
…That’s all I got.  So I guess the answer is no.

17. Favorite cheese? 
I like blue cheese, whether served as salad dressing, crumbled atop a burger, or combined with panko breadcrumbs to make a delicious crust for filet mignon.  Blue cheese is pungent and delicious, and just so happens to be the only thing with blue veins that I’ve ever had in my mouth.

18. The Smith’s or The Cure? 
Despite the importance of The Smiths to the British underground music scene of the early 1980s, and despite my preference of their indie sound over The Cure’s gothic New Wave, growing up I listened to The Cure a lot more than I did The Smiths.  That said, I do find it notable that the frontman of The Cure is Robert Smith, and feel that he would have been well-suited to switch places with Morrissey as the frontman of The Smiths.

19. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes? 
I prefer brunettes, although as you might guess from my answer to #13, hair color was never really a deciding factor for me on who to date.

20. Best job you ever had? 
Definitely a blow job.

Jill’s Answers

1. Song that always makes you sad? 
Jack suggests that I answer “Whatever sappy song happens to be playing while I’m on my period.”  He’s right, but I’m going to go with Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel “IZ” Kamakawiwo’ole.  It was played at my Grandmother’s funeral, and it always makes me think of how much I love and miss her.

2. Last thing you bought? 
I bought two pairs of thong panties from Kohl’s.  They had a buy one, get one half off deal.  I’m sure you’ll be able to see them on the next couple #thongthursdays if you follow us on Twitter.

3. Last person you argued with?
My daughter, who refused to go to bed.  I won!  She’s sleeping right this minute.

4. Do you put butter before putting the peanut butter on? 
No.  I have never done this.  I used to put butter before jelly, but not anymore.  All the butter does is add calories.

5. One of your stuffed animals’ names as a kid? 
I don’t think I ever named them, actually.  How about Fred?  I’m going to say that I once had some kind of stuffed animal named Fred.

6. Did you ever at one time own a Barenaked Ladies CD? 
My friend burned me a copy of one once.  Does that count?  I’ve seen them in concert a couple times, so it’s not like I’m a total leech.

7. Favorite day of the week? 
I love Saturdays because I get to be home with my family, and unlike Sundays I don’t have to return to work the next day.

8. Favorite sundae topping? 
I like caramel sauce on my sundae.  I have also drizzled it on my nipples and had Jack lick it off.  While we’re talking dirty, I like nuts as well.

9. Did you take piano lessons? 
No.  We didn’t have a piano when I was growing up.  In the late 1980s, my parents got a piano, and my younger sisters took lessons.

10. Most frequent song played?
On the piano?  For God’s sake, read my answer to question #9!

11. T.V. show you secretly enjoy?
Pretty Little Liars.  It seems to be geared toward teenagers and twentysomethings, definitely not my demographic.  But I like the mystery aspect, so I watch it.

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey? 
Basketball.  I’m not crazy about the idea of taking a hockey puck to the teeth.

13. Date someone older or younger? 
Younger.  And I married him!

14. One place you could travel right now? 
Does this mean a place I would like to go right now?  Or does it mean a place that’s convenient to travel right now?  I’m guessing that it means a place I would like to go right now.  I’ll say Disneyland.

15. Do you use umbrellas? 
No.  They’re more of a pain in the ass than they’re worth.  I try not to spend too much time outside when it’s raining anyway, and if all I have to do is run to my car, it would take me more time to open and close the umbrella than it would take to just run, unlock the door and get in.  Plus, then you’ve got a wet umbrella fucking up your upholstery.

16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem? 
No.  Do you?

17. Favorite cheese? 
Dubliner Irish cheddar.

18. The Smith’s or The Cure? 
The Cure.  I never really listened to The Smiths.

19. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes? 
Brunettes.  I find blondes attractive as well, but my natural preference is toward darker hair, and frequently darker features as well.  This applies to men and women.

20. Best job you ever had? 
The best job I ever had was probably the school where I first taught kindergarten.  The students and their parents were wonderful, and the staff was like a family.  In fact, I still get together with members of the faculty despite the fact that I haven’t taught there in five years.

This is our first time participating in Sinful Sunday.  Click the link to see what other sinners are taking part.

We’re not big go-out-and-get-drunk-on-New-Year’s-Eve people.  Even before we became parents, we were loathe to go out on New Year’s Eve or St. Patrick’s Day, knowing that the crowds of amateur drinkers would kill the fun for people like Jack and I.  When I say amateur drinkers, you know what I mean:  Douchebaggy guys who couldn’t possibly get laid if alcohol didn’t exist.  Shrill, anorexic nineteen-year-olds with fake IDs that are just out to make the scene.  People who are so unused to drinking that they don’t know how their bodies will handle certain drinks.  People who get plastered by ten-thirty, and whose friends then have to be responsible for them for the rest of the night.  People who expect others, especially bartenders and cab drivers, to clean up after them.  Or worse, people who think they are the one person in the world capable of driving drunk.

So we tend to stay away from bars on New Year’s Eve.  We’ll gladly go and get drunk on a random Friday night when the crowds might be heavy, but most people aren’t trying to do one more stupid and reckless thing before the year changes.  Some New Year’s Eves, we end up going to a friend’s house.  Other times we host, as whenever possible we prefer to stay home.  This year we had absolutely nothing planned.  We thought we would put the baby to bed, watch the ball drop, and then have a couple hours of sex provided she stayed asleep.  That sounded great to us, and had that been all that happened, it would have made a wonderful and memorable New Year’s Eve.

Instead, we were invited out by friends of ours, who we will call “P” (the wife), and “N” (the husband).  Eager to spend time with them, but not interested in competing for space at a bar, we suggested that they come to our house instead.  They agreed.  Jack and I had spent the day packing for our impending move, and it took only a short while to tidy up the house, clean the bathrooms, and move all of our boxes into the garage.  Even though we weren’t going out, we asked Jack’s aunt to babysit.  It probably wasn’t necessary, as we found out when we picked up the baby that she’d slept for much of the night, and it stands to reason that she would have slept just as well if she was home with us.  Furthermore, we know P and N well (I’ve been friends with P since kindergarten), and we knew that there wasn’t much chance of the evening turning into a huge four-way orgy that would have sent our daughter into catatonia had she woken up and stumbled onto it.

In the end we snacked and drank some wine while watching a movie with our friends.  Around eleven o’clock we took a dip in the hot tub. P and N hadn’t brought swimsuits, so N borrowed a pair of Jack’s swimming trunks, and P borrowed a sports bra and a pair of spandex workout shorts of mine.  Now, I know what you’re thinking:  Why did we even bother with swimsuits?  Surely Jack and I are so sexy that, once in our presence, people have no choice but to strip off and service us sexually.  While that is a flattering thought, it is unfortunately not the case.

Would we have liked it if something a bit more daring occurred?  Of course we would have.  Would we have had the slightest idea of how to make it happen?  Definitely not.  Jack and I aren’t exactly shy.  We have gotten naked with certain friends before, usually while hot tubbing, and usually when alcohol is involved.  But not with these particular friends.  I don’t know why, exactly.  Before she met her husband, Jack and I spent an evening at P’s house watching softcore porn on premium cable.  Sex is a topic I’ve discussed with her at some length, although she knows nothing about this blog and, given the fact that she is close to my parents and my siblings, it’s probably for the best that she not find out.

So why didn’t we get naked?  The easy answer is because, when we suggested continuing our evening in the hot tub, they said, “Well, we didn’t bring our swimsuits, period.”  They didn’t say, “Well, we didn’t bring our swimsuits, dot dot dot.”  We are pretty good about being able to read between the lines, and can usually tell when someone is open to such a thing and leaving the decision up to us, as opposed to when their feelings are pretty clear.  To us, their discomfort with the idea of social nudity seemed apparent, and this is why we offered them clothes.

But a more complex answer is that suggesting that we all get naked and get in the hot tub might be the sort of thing that could place a major stumbling block in the path of our four-way friendship.  Or it might not.  Even if they didn’t immediately say, “Of course we’ll get naked in the hot tub and push our relationship boundaries with you guys,” there’s no reason to assume that they’ll be so offended by the suggestion that they can never again look us in the eye, or worse, feel the need to shame us publicly for it.  They might laugh it off, or else politely decline.

I am very familiar with the expression, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”  I know that without taking a risk, reward is impossible.  But considering how much I hate wearing clothes, it’s always been difficult for me to propose social nudity to people I know well.  Part of this is due to my body image issues, although I think I’ve gotten better about it in recent years.  It’s a little easier for Jack, who has the advantage of having a reputation amongst some of our friends for constantly thinking about sex anyway.

Part of it is also due to the societal stigma surrounding sex and nudity, at least in the United States.  The overwhelming conservative attitude that places a taboo on sexuality, and the general ignorance that associates nudity with sex, make it very risky to propose getting naked.  What if our suggestion is rebuffed?  What if our friends look at us negatively?  What if our families and our employers find out?  While these are the same fears I brought up earlier, they are very real concerns for us.

I know that we can bring up social nudity with certain of our friends, including my best friend and her husband.  But this is only because they brought it up first.  I don’t know that I would have been bold enough to suggest hot tubbing naked had they not instigated it originally.  Ironically, though, both are very conservative and have given absolutely no indication that they would be comfortable with the clothing-optional stuff going any further than sitting in a hot tub.

Have any of you had to jump through this sort of a hurdle before?  How do you go about breaking the ice?

-Jill

There is a sense of friendship in both the Twitter and Sex Blogger worlds. Which do you prefer? If you had to stop posting/visiting one or the other, which would you give up and why?

Jack’s Answer

While the sense of friendship and/or community on Twitter is very similar to that in the sex blogosphere, to me both feel distinctive.  This is surprising because there are many individuals who exist in both worlds, further blurring the line between the two.  That said, I enjoy the relative disparateness of both communities tremendously.

I can’t honestly say that I prefer one network over the other.  Twitter has its own unique qualities, as does the sex blogosphere, and I appreciate different things about both.  For this reason I would find it very difficult to keep one network while letting the other go.

Were I forced to pick one over the other, I think I would choose the blog over Twitter.  It would not be an easy decision for me to make, and I would miss Twitter primarily for the near-instant gratification and general ease of interaction.  I would also miss the individuals we’ve met on Twitter who do not blog.

As a writer, however, I find blogging more of a natural fit for me.  Blogging is less structured and can be more in-depth than Twitter.  A blog post can consist of virtually anything, from text and pictures to audio and video.  And while a Tweet can include multimedia as links, the 140-character constraint is exactly that, a constraint.  I would hate for my primary means of communication to be limited in this fashion.

Additionally, blogging is more permanent than Twitter.  I don’t know how far back Twitter archives the approximately three hundred million messages that are tweeted each day, but I do know that if it is possible to scroll back to the beginning of one’s timeline it would probably take weeks.  But if I want to read something I wrote on the blog in October of 2009, it would take me at most three clicks.

Jill’s Answer

I love our blog, not only for the opportunity that it gives us to talk about sex in a welcoming and repercussion-free environment, but also for the fact that it is an in-depth record of our sexual lives.  I am very grateful to have the opportunity to talk about so many of my experiences and fantasies, and to write erotic fiction as well.

While the blog is more personal, for my purposes Twitter is just more practical.  I don’t see myself as a writer, really.  Despite the fact that I have written a lot of the posts on the blog, I currently don’t write anywhere near as much as Jack does.  And although I enjoy the accolades that I get in response to the pictures we’ve posted of me, the fact is that I could post the same pictures on Twitter using Moby (although I would probably get far less feedback).

Between work, parenthood, and miscellaneous family and social obligations, I’m a lot busier than I was a few years ago.  This is why Jack writes most of what is posted to the blog.  Because of my increasingly busy schedule, Twitter is the preferable option.  Twitter is much more interactive than the blog, enabling me to be social with relatively little effort or investment.

If you want to ask us anything, drop us a line on Formspring.  (You can do so anonymously if you prefer.)  We like sexy questions!

As you know, last week marked the final official week for HNT.  Osbasso requested that we pull out all the stops and make our final HNT posts memorable.  We found ourselves on a clothing-optional beach on Christmas Eve, appropriately one of the most fun experiences we’ve ever had taking an HNT picture.

We enjoyed participating on and off for the last couple years, and while we had planned to continue posting something every Thursday, it did seem a little odd to give the long-running meme a send-off full of fanfare and fireworks only to resume business as usual the following Thursday, i.e. today.  We suppose it’s not unlike graduating from high school and then returning to your alma mater the following September to roam the halls.

[Note to the many bloggers who have published an HNT post today:  This is in no way a dig at you.  We love looking at all of your efforts, and will do so as long as you continue to post them.  In fact, if you’ve posted an HNT that we should see, please let us know; without the usual conglomeration of “We’re up!” comments at Osbasso’s blog, I’m afraid many such posts will go unnoticed by us.]

Additionally, Osbasso stated on his blog that he hoped that future half-nekkidness would utilize a different name, out of respect for the retirement of HNT, as well as for the “hundreds upon hundreds who participated.”  We can understand this, though more in accordance with the official retirement we felt that it was time for a change.  And who knows?  In a month’s time, desiring the sense of community that we got from HNT, we may resume.  But for now we are trying something different.

Several individuals, including Nolens Volens and HeartPinkGirl, have created The Naughty Hangout.  (See what they did?  TNH…it’s HNT backwards.)

The inaugural theme for The Naughty Hangout is “De-Xmas’ing”, described on the TNH blog as “the process of taking down your decorations and putting them away for the year.”  This is what that process looks like at our house:

Seen in this shot are the negligee and Santa hat worn by Jill in Santa’s Sexy Helper Part 2, a candy cane identical to the one featured in A Christmas Meme, and a Santa Claus ornament shown in one of our Moby uploads.  No Jill, though.  I think that’s a first.

-Jack