[Editorial Note:  As of this writing, we have not finished exchanging gifts.  On Christmas Day, we exchanged gifts with Jill’s parents, and with Jack’s extended family.  We each opened a couple gifts given by the other, but the majority of our gifts between each other will be opened on Wednesday when we have a belated Christmas dinner at Jack’s parents’ house.  Therefore, for the purposes of answering the following questions we will use gifts that we have received in the past.]

For this week’s TMI Tuesday why don’t you tell us:

Jack’s Answers

1. What was your favorite gift that you received (gift giving holidays Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or heck even if you had a birthday in the month of December that can count)?
I honestly don’t have one.  I love receiving gifts as much as I love giving them, but few of the items I’ve received really stand out years later.  I doubt I could remember today what I got for Christmas, say, seven years ago.  And of the ones that do stand out, no single gift is any more awesome than another.  (Yes, I realize that this was supposed to be about gifts received this year only.  I take full responsibility for my sub-par answer.)

2. What was the most practical gift that you received?
Cash, without a doubt.  I probably sound really jaded and grown-up.  I wish I had something more fun and meaningful to mention, like the first cookbook I ever received, or a first-aid kit that was then used to save the life of a stranger who turned out to be a genie and granted me three wishes which I used to land the perfect wife, bring about a new age of world peace, and cure all disease.  Sadly this is not the case.  I’ve asked for and received a lot of fun and frivolous things during my thirty-five Christmases on this earth, and none of them are as practical as money.

3. What was the silliest, most fun, crazy or impractical gift that you received?
Silliest?  I’ll say the Jesus Christ action figure I received from a friend.  It’s still in its package.  The most fun gift was probably the Nintendo system that I got when I was twelve.  I played the shit out of that thing.  I don’t think I’ve ever received a video game console for a Christmas present since, so that’s the one I’m going with.  The craziest one?  Definitely the two year subscription to Mental Patient Monthly that just ran out.  I was hoping for a renewal.  The most impractical gift?  Probably the desk calendars my mom is fond of giving me.  I hate to sound ungrateful, but my cell phone includes a pretty awesome calendar that takes up no additional space.

4. If you had a special holiday meal, what was your favorite food?
My favorite part of any holiday meal is mashed potatoes.  Light, buttery and delicious, I could eat mashed potatoes for every meal.

Bonus:  Share the recipe of your favorite food from the holiday meal.
8 medium russet potatoes, peeled
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup butter
Salt to taste

Boil potatoes until soft, approximately 15-20 minutes; drain
Process potatoes using a potato ricer
Add milk, butter and salt and stir until smooth

Bonus, bonus:  Whatcha doin’ for New Year’s Eve?
Beats me, but I hope it involves sex.

Jill’s Answers

1. What was your favorite gift that you received (gift giving holidays Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or heck even if you had a birthday in the month of December that can count)?
Probably the Eroscillator that Jack got me for Christmas in 2006.  We were living apart at the time, and it kept me sane.  It has given me many enjoyable evenings, many wonderful orgasms, and a fun time whether I’m home alone or having sex with Jack.

2. What was the most practical gift that you received?
Although the Eroscillator makes a good answer to this question too, I should probably pick something else.  So I will go with the couch covers that Jack got me for our sofa and armchair this year.  It sounds like a shitty gift, but I really, really wanted them.  Our couch and sofa are probably a decade old, and as we have a messy baby, they’re aging even faster than they should.

3. What was the silliest, most fun, crazy or impractical gift that you received?
The silliest gift is probably the framed clay sculpture of my face that my students made me.  The most fun was probably the – oh wait, I can’t say the Eroscillator.  So I’ll go with the Liberator Throe that Jack got me along with the Eroscillator.  I would have used it for my most practical gift in answer to question #2, but the couch covers are seriously practical, and the Throe is a lot of fun.  The craziest gift?  That would have to be – you know what?  The framed clay sculpture is the craziest gift I’ve ever received.  Seriously, it looks absolutely nothing like me.  The silliest gift, then, is the can of silly string I got as a gag gift when I was a teenager.  And the most impractical gift is probably The Complete Calvin and Hobbes hardcover box set from about five Christmases ago.  I’m a big fan of Calvin and Hobbes, but I don’t think I’ve ever opened and read it.

4. If you had a special holiday meal, what was your favorite food?
I love homemade Italian biscotti.  They really remind me of the holidays.

Bonus:  Share the recipe of your favorite food from the holiday meal.
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
3 large eggs
2 tablespoons Amaretto (OR 2 tbs rum with 1 tsp. almond extract)
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon anise extract (optional)
1 cup whole almond , toasted and chopped a few times, not too fine

Preheat oven to 300°F.
Line 2 baking sheets with parchment.
Combine dry ingredients and set aside.
Whisk the eggs, amaretto (or almond extract/rum), vanilla and anise extracts in mixer until well-blended.
Add the dry ingredients and mix until combined.
Scrape the dough out onto a parchment lined sheet pan.
Flour your hands and shape into a long flat loaf about 10 inches long and 5 inches wide.
Bake until firm and dry, about 50 minutes.
Remove from the oven and cool 10 minute.
Use serrated knife and slice into 1/2-inch wide slices.
Lay the slices cut side down on the baking sheet and bake another 20 minutes.
Turn the slices over and bake 20 minutes more, or until the cookies are a light golden brown.
Cool the biscotti on a rack; cool completely before storing.

Bonus, bonus:  Whatcha doin’ for New Year’s Eve?
We have no plans at the moment.  We’ll probably stay home, and watch the ball drop on TV, likely while playing with Jack’s balls.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Jack at Thirty-Five

Cowgirl on the bed,
Then doggy.  I cum on Jill
Glad the baby slept

We’re not sure where this meme originated, but we first saw it at Mind of Mine.

Jack’s Answers

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
I don’t have a preference when it comes to opening gifts; sure, I like tearing into wrapping paper almost as much as I did when I was little.  But these days I don’t really care about the exterior; if you’ve given me a present it’s the present – as well as the thought – that I’m concerned with, and not what it’s wrapped in.

2. Real tree or artificial tree?
I love actual Christmas trees, but I have never had one since moving out of my parents’ house.  I just can’t justify it.  I like our admittedly simple artificial tree, which we’ve had for years, and which can be seen in our recent Christmas HNT pictures.

3. Angel on the tree top or a star?
When I was a baby, my parents had a beautiful plastic star that topped the tree.  It had belonged to my paternal grandmother, who had given it to my parents after they got married.  The star was clear, with a red center, and you could run the string of Christmas lights up the top of the tree and into the center, which would then light up.  Every year, when the tree was decorated, my father would lift me up and I would place the star on top.  When I was older, probably in my mid-teens, my mom’s mom gave her an angel tree-topper, and the star was quickly replaced.  But I salvaged it – from the Goodwill pile or a storage box, I’m not sure – and I held onto it.  It’s sitting atop our admittedly simple artificial tree right now.

4. Favorite ornament, theme or color?
None, really.  I like all of our tree ornaments, as they are an eclectic blend of various styles and themes.  We’ve got snowmen and Santas, wooden soldiers and nutcrackers, angels and reindeer, and other traditional Christmas symbols.  We’ve got kitschy pop culture icons and cute teacher-related things like blackboards and apples.  Fully decorated, our tree is as unique as we are.

5. When do you put up the tree?
Sometime after Thanksgiving, although not necessarily that weekend.  It depends on where we are – if we’re spending Thanksgiving with my parents out of town, chances are we’re not going to be home until late Sunday night.  The tree is brought out and decorated when time allows.

6. When do you take the tree down?
Not until sometime after New Year’s Day, often sometime the first week of January.  We like Christmas, and usually neither of us is in a rush to divest the house of all the festive trappings of the season for another year.

7. Favorite gift received as a child?
Nothing really stands out.  As a child I was interested in all of the standard ’80s toys – Star Wars, G.I. Joe, Transformers – and certainly received more than my fair share of them, although no single item stands out more than any other.

8. Hardest person to buy for?
My father.  The man likes almost nothing.  He generally receives a lot of of practical gifts, as well as gift cards to restaurants he enjoys.  Once in awhile, if I’m lucky, I’ll find a book on a subject in which he is interested, or he’ll ask me for a particular tool since he’s always doing something handy around the house or working on one of his and my mother’s cars.

9. Easiest person to buy for?
My mom.  She’s collects a lot of stuff, reads books, and has many interests.  She almost never treats herself to anything, so around her birthday and at Christmas, she usually has quite a list of wanted items ready to go.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
When I’ve sent Christmas cards, I have always mailed them.  However, we haven’t sent Christmas cards in awhile.  We appreciate receiving them, and want to reciprocate, but we haven’t had the time the last couple years.  Actually, the last time we sent out Christmas cards was the year before our daughter was born.  Hmmm…

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Something useless.  I can’t think of anything specifically, but every year my mother buys Jill and I a number of stocking stuffers which would be awesome if we were responsible for stocking one of those arcade claw machines wherein you put in a quarter and try to grab something worth a dime.

12. Favorite Christmas movie?
Too many to list.  It would be like asking me to pick my favorite Christmas song, which I see is actually #16.  Some favorites, off the top of my head, are The Nightmare Before Christmas, Irving Berlin’s White Christmas, Die Hard (it’s set at Christmastime, so I say it counts), Gremlins (ditto), A Christmas Story, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Well after Thanksgiving.  I don’t go shopping on Black Friday; while I’m all for saving money, I’d rather not be stampeded and left for dead, robbed at gunpoint, pepper sprayed by cops, or bonked in the head with a tear gas cannister.  Additionally, as the parent of a twenty-one-month-old child, if I can sleep in the day after Thanksgiving, I am going to do so.  Generally I begin my shopping in early December, although this year I began my shopping a week before Christmas.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Yes.  One year we participated in a blind gift exchange with Jill’s extended family.  Although people were required to bring a unisex gift, the present I opened was a set of women’s pajamas and a book of affirmations for women.  These were provided by Jill’s cousin, who admitted to having received them at a Christmas party the day before and re-gifted them.  I, in turn, passed them along to my mother.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
My mom has always made ham for our Christmas dinner.  I am a fan of the swine, and never get tired of eating it.

16. Favorite Christmas song?
In last week’s TMI Tuesday I said that I don’t have a favorite.  I mentioned “Fairytale of New York” by The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, which is indeed a song I love.  Today, however, I think I’ll go with “Father Christmas” by The Kinks.

17. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

Yes.  I can also name all of the backup reindeer:  Steven, Fluffy, Horace, Chantel, Skippy, Rainbow, Peaches and Montel.

19. Can you name all of the 7 Dwarves?
I can.  You realize that this has nothing to do with Christmas, right?

20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
My family has always opened presents Christmas morning.  I couldn’t imagine opening gifts before Santa Claus comes.  I always saw going to sleep on Christmas Eve as the last hurdle before my Christmas morning cornucopia of greed, and foregoing that excited but restless night of anticipation would suck.  When I was in my twenties I dated someone whose family opened presents on Christmas Eve.  I could see how important the tradition was to her and her family, but I found the practice completely foreign.  To me at least, Christmas presents were always meant to be opened first thing in the morning.

21. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
I hate to sound like a bitter asshole, but the most annoying and frustrating thing about the Christmas season, for me, is other people.  Someone recently told me that their favorite thing about this time of year is the fact that people are generally much nicer than they are the rest of the year.  I can’t remember who this person was or where he or she was from, but I found this sentiment to be the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard lately, evidenced by the number of road rage incidents I’ve witnessed in and near shopping centers and malls the last few weeks.

22. Do you ever hang mistletoe?
No.  When I was a kid my parents had some sort of ornament they’d hang from the ceiling that included some plastic leaves that were supposed to be mistletoe.  When I happened to be standing under it my mom would give me a kiss.  When I got older, mistletoe wasn’t anything I really cared for as a romantic thing.  I’ve had a few kisses under the mistletoe, but they were with people who would have kissed me regardless.

23. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
If by “the truth” you mean the fact that he exists, I learned it when my mother told me that if I stop believing in him, he stops bringing me presents.  Therefore I am a believer for life.

24. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you?
Presence.  That is to say, gathering with family and friends and enjoying good times.  It’s pretty ironic that I’m saying this now, because I was a very greedy kid growing up.  I’m talking Dudley Dursley levels of greed.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
A threesome.  Or world peace.  Both?  Can I ask for both?

Jill’s Answers

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Wrapping paper.  It’s no fun to open up a paper bag.  Half the fun is unwrapping a present regardless of what’s inside.  So I only wrap presents, I never use gift bags, because that’s what I prefer as the recipient.

2. Real tree or artificial tree?
I love the smell of a real tree, but I hate the hassle of having to dispose of it, as well as the pine needle cleanup afterwards.  We have an artificial tree because it’s easier to justify from a financial standpoint.

3. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Growing up we had an angel, and when I moved out, the first few Christmases I would buy a two-foot tree that I topped with my own angel.  The first year that I spent Christmas with Jack’s family (for those paying attention, that was the second year that Jack and I were dating), I gave my small tree to my parents since Jack and I going to be out of town.  When I got my ornaments back, the angel was missing.  It has topped their tree every year since.

4. Favorite ornament, theme or color?
I am not partial toward any particular themes or colors.  My favorite ornaments are the ones my parents gave me every year growing up.  I’ve saved them all.  Jack and I also have a glass ornament with our picture etched into it which we were given the year we got married.  And I also love the ornaments that we’ve given our daughter every year since she was born.  I hope that she treasures them the way I do my own.

5. When do you put up the tree?
Normally the weekend after Thanksgiving.

6. When do you take the tree down?
Being Catholic, my family has always kept the tree and the decorations up until the Epiphany, which is celebrated January 6th.  Jack and I do the same.

7. Favorite gift received as a child?
I don’t know of any favorite gift that I received as a child.  Maybe a Cabbage Patch Kid?  I think I was too old for them when they came out.  But when I went off to college I really wanted a teddy bear as a comfort since I was leaving home for the first time.   I still have it.

8. Hardest person to buy for?
Probably my Dad.  He doesn’t want much, and whatever he wants he buys himself, usually right before Christmas.

9. Easiest person to buy for?
Jack.  When I ask, he usually gives me a list.  The last few years, however, he has grown a little more difficult, as he wants less, and the things he wants he often buys for himself.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
I used to mail them, but the last couple years I haven’t even done that.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Probably a hideous hat/glove/scarf combo that I received from one of my students last year.  Here’s a hint to all of you parents out there:  Your children’s teachers want gift cards.

12. Favorite Christmas movie?
It’s a Wonderful Life.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
I normally start the week before Christmas, or as soon as school lets out for Winter break.  If I happen to see something that I know someone will like before that, I buy it and put it away, but I usually forget and find it in my closet long after Christmas.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Yes.  See #11 for just one example.  When I receive something that awful, I usually make it a white elephant gift.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
There’s a certain kind of hard candy that I enjoy which is sold exclusively at Christmastime.  No, that is not a euphemism for Jack’s cock.

16. Favorite Christmas song?
“I’ll Be Home For Christmas”, just like it was five days ago.

17. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
We alternate between the two.  On even-numbered years, we stay home and celebrate Christmas with my family.  On odd-numbered years, we travel to celebrate Christmas with Jack’s family.  When we lived close to Jack’s family, we traveled on the even-numbered years and stayed home on the odd-numbered ones.

18. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen.  And let’s not forget Rudolph!

19. Can you name all of the 7 Dwarves?
Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Sneezy, Happy, Grumpy, and Sleepy.

20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Always Christmas morning.

21. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Traffic.

22. Do you ever hang mistletoe?
I don’t think I ever have.  Of course, I never had to hang mistletoe in order to get a kiss.

23. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
Truth?  I don’t know what you’re talking about.  If you don’t believe in Santa Claus, he doesn’t bring you presents.  I will always believe!

24. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you?
Being with the people I love.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
Good health and happiness for myself, my family, and those I love.

We wish all of you the happiest of holidays!  Thanks for visiting!

I guess the title of this post isn’t a big deal unless you know that it’s Jill writing.  Jack thinks about having sex with women all the time.  I think about sex with women about half as often, since I am just as likely, or maybe more likely, to be thinking about sex with men.  But I love women!  I find women sexy, and I am proud to be one.

I’ve had sex with a woman four times in my life.  In fact, all four experiences occurred within a year of each other, the first on Jack’s birthday in summer 2010, and the most recent on Jack’s birthday this past summer.  All four experiences involved the same woman, a friend of ours who has occasionally been referred to here as our third, but who I think we will refer to hereafter as “M”, since that is her initial.  Actually I don’t know if the first time even counts, because I didn’t take an active role.  I was far too nervous.  The next three times I made up for my reluctance, though I am far from an expert.  I need more experience.

The last few weeks, I’ve been thinking about it a lot.  Earlier this month I wrote a story called Open Box, in which a toy shopping excursion turns into a satisfying sapphic experience.  The story was read by the lovely and talented Lady Grinning Soul for her Christmas podcast this week.  Late Wednesday night I engaged in an exciting exchange on Twitter with the very sexy DirtyPrettyGrrl, who treated me to lots of virtual hair pulling and fingering.  In the end I came five times.  Two of my orgasms were brought about by G-spot stimulation, and they were very explosive.  A comment left by Cougar in Training on our friend Mia Wallace’s blog during a half-serious discussion about Mia and I having simultaneous orgasm (“Next time Jill has a simultaneous orgasm with another woman, I hope its because I’m making both her and Mia cum at the same time”) really lit the fire within me.  I’d never thought about having a threesome with two women, but I totally would.

Today we had a nice pre-Christmas lunch with M.  She is in a stable relationship, and although it is new, she seems happily attached for the first time ever.  If you’re a long-time reader of this blog (and chances are that you aren’t), M is the individual Jack is referring to in this Valentine’s Day post from 2010.  We talked at length about our plans for Christmas, about her boyfriend and his dysfunctional relationship with his crazy ex-wife (who is not only a friend of Jack’s from high school, but also someone that I have known for about twenty-five years independently of Jack), family and mutual friends, work, and sex.  Since she is coupled up, it’s unlikely that she will be joining us in the bedroom anytime soon, despite her coy “you never know” innuendoes.  She says that her boyfriend is open-minded and kinky, but at least until the relationship gets off the ground, we’re probably not going there.

When we left the restaurant M kissed me good-bye.  Her lips touched mine sweetly, and it turned me on.  There was no hint of lasciviousness in the kiss like there has been in the past, but I was reminded of feeling her body against mine, and I wished that we were naked in the hot tub in our backyard, or in our shower or our bed.  The four of us have hot tubbed together a couple times, but I think that she and I getting drunk and making out while our significant others are present (and things not progressing any farther) is different than Jack and I having fun with her alone.  Maybe her boyfriend is kinky and maybe he isn’t, but he showed restraint when M and I were making out.  Maybe the thought of having a foursome never crossed his mind.

When we got home from lunch, the baby took a nap with Jack.  This almost never happens.  Desiring a bit of self-love, I took off my clothes and read Mia’s blog, specifically a recent post about female orgasm.  Mia is the only female blogger who I know personally, and I’ve been attracted to her for a long time.  She has the most incredible feminine curves, beautiful eyes, and lips that I dream of kissing.  In fact, her lips aren’t the only parts of her that I’ve dreamed of kissing.  Every once in awhile I wake up sweaty and aroused, having had a very vivid sex dream about her.  While my husband and my daughter slept soundly in another room, I entertained my body and my mind with thoughts of us both caressing each other to an exquisite double-climax.

My play was made more exhilarating as Mia and I began exchanging direct messages on Twitter.  Our sexy private chat amped up my arousal.  Thoughts of naughty things we could do to each other filled my head, and even though they were the same scenarios that I’ve fantasized about before, they seemed much hotter and more real now than they ever had.  I was typing on my phone with one hand just as quickly as I was pushing my own buttons with the other.  I came loudly, a cascading chorus of grunts and moans escaping my throat as waves of pleasure and release threatened to drown me.  I sighed happily and then continued with our conversation.

I love the fantasies that I have about being with another woman.  But I miss the reality.

Since last week’s initial Formspring Friday post, we’ve seen the total number of relevant questions (i.e. questions about sex specifically aimed at us as opposed to generic questions mass-delivered to Formspring users in general) more than triple.  Therefore we’re going to continue with it.  We haven’t yet decided whether to do so in addition to Flash Fiction Friday or at the expense of it, but it’s probably safe to say that we will have ideas for Friday blog posts for many weeks to come.

What’s your best sexual Christmas memory? Could be a toy you got as a Xmas gift, or having sex in front of the tree, etc?

Jack’s Answer:

Christmas hasn’t always been the sexiest holiday for me.  I went twenty-six years of my life before I experienced sex on Christmas Day.  That’s not to say that I wasn’t having sex at the time, but rather that for various reasons when I was in a relationship during the holidays, the women I dated were either unavailable on Christmas Day, or otherwise sexually off-limits.  In other words, either they traveled with family, or else they lived with their parents and privacy on Christmas Day was hard to come by.

It’s hardly a regret, really.  Especially when I was younger, sex wasn’t my highest Christmas priority.  I know, I know, you’re shocked.  But Christmas is one day out of the year, and I always liked to savor my family’s Christmas traditions, including gathering with friends and family, eating and drinking, and giving and receiving presents.  If sex didn’t happen to be in the cards on Christmas Day, that was fine with me; during that period of my life I probably had more sex on December 26th than anyone I know.

As I said, my first real sexual experience occurred when I was twenty-six.  I’d stayed the night with my then-girlfriend, whose father and brother lived with her.  On Christmas morning she and I lounged around in bed until her family left, and then she got on top of me and we had sex.  That I had never, up until that point, had sex on Christmas Day didn’t occur to me while it was happening – indeed, my mind was elsewhere.  It didn’t even occur to me until we were driving to Christmas dinner with my family.  Although there wasn’t anything particularly memorable about the sex itself, and although that relationship is, some nine years later, barely an afterthought, I do remember it as the first time I had sex on Christmas.

But my absolute best sexual Christmas memory?  I’m going to go with the time that Jill and I went to a Christmas party at a winery in nearby Healdsburg.  We spent the evening drinking and dancing, all while dressed to the nines.  We left the winery after midnight, and both of us were a bit tipsy, so in order to pass time while we sobered up, we had sex in the back seat.  It started out as oral sex in the front seat, but it wasn’t long before we realized that we had a lot of sobering up to do, and we needed a lot more time than a blowjob would provide.  Did I mention that Christmas carols were playing on the stereo?  They were.  We finally drove home – both of us completely sober – after two in the morning.

Jill’s Answer:

The year before I met Jack I dated a guy for about six months.  We broke up in November, but just before Christmas he called me out of the blue and wanted me to spend a few days in Vegas with him.  I was pretty much over him, but I figured what the fuck, a free trip is a free trip and I love Vegas.  He had gotten us a room at the Bellaggio, and we flew in on the red-eye.  Although we knew we’d be tired, we planned do some gambling and have breakfast before going back to our room for sex.

By the time we landed we were both horny, so instead of gambling we went right up to our room and spent almost the entire three days fucking.  We started out on the bed, but soon we moved to the window where he fucked me up against the glass.  When we were finished we took a shower, and had sex there too.  Afterwards we went back to bed, and continued for a few more hours.  We fell asleep afterwards, and when we woke up we were hungry, and I wanted to gamble.  We had a nice dinner, and we played for about an hour, at which time he started sending me text messages telling me that he was horny.

Eventually I met him back at the room.  We had sex all night, and slept until almost noon.  We ordered room service for the rest of the trip, and didn’t put on clothes until just before we checked out of the hotel.  The sex was amazing!  With the exception of Jack, he was the best lover I have ever had.  We flew home, and when he dropped me off we decided that we were through.  I’m pretty sure I knew that it was over before the trip, and I wonder if the knowledge that this was our last hurrah made the sex better.  It was definitely the sexiest Christmas I’d ever had, until the next one.

The following year was the first Christmas that Jack and I spent together, and it was definitely the most exciting Christmas I’ve ever had.  Back then, my extended family used to take a long trip over the holidays.  Jack and I had only been dating a few months, and he jumped at the chance to spend two weeks with me and my very large family at a resort.  First of all, if I didn’t already know that I loved him, his eagerness to immerse himself in my world would have convinced me.  So I was already very excited.  Of course, the fact that we were planning to have lots and lots of sex excited us further.

My family is Catholic, and although my parents booked us our own room, it had two twin beds rather than one larger bed.  In theory this should not have been a problem, as we could have used one bed for sex and the other for sleeping, but on principle we wanted a larger bed.  The resort supplied an adapter that was used to connect two twin beds to make a larger bed, but when we requested one they were all out and the best they could do was to give us a queen size sheet.  We pushed our beds together, put the sheet over both, and spent the next two weeks having the most amazing sex we’d ever had.

One night, we had just finished having very energetic, sweaty sex, and we lay in each other’s arms enjoying the afterglow.  Neither of us realized that our vigorous movements had moved the beds apart.  When I rolled over I settled into the groove between the two mattresses.  The corners of the fitted sheet gave way and I fell between the beds and onto the floor.  Jack helped me to my feet, both of us laughing, but trying hard not to.

Remember, if you want to ask us anything, that’s why we have a Formspring account.  We like sexy questions.

The lovely Heelsnstocking of Sexual Adventures of a Married Woman organized this group post as a way for sexy bloggers to catalogue all of their most arousing posts in one convenient location.  From her blog:

The idea is to give the gift of pleasure to your readers for Xmas, a post with the shortcut to pleasure with your top pictures and posts and for them to reciprocate with a picture of their pleasure. Once you have received your pictures and your stockings are full they are to be posted on your blog, named or anon for us all to enjoy the following week.

As a gift to all of you, we’ve compiled a list of links to some of our most erotic stories, pictures and other posts.  We hope that you enjoy them.

Erotica

“Open Box“, a short sapphic piece written by Jill.

While putting some household items into storage, Jack was inspired to write “Sex in Storage“, which we then made a reality.

“For Yummy on Her Birthday” was written as a birthday gift for Heelsnstocking.  It currently has the distinction of being the most-viewed post at our blog.

In October, we visited a sex club for the first time.  “Power Exchange: Our First Step Into a Larger World” is our account of that experience.

“Aural Sex” is a very brief story Jack wrote for Flash Fiction Friday.

Cougar in Training has inspired not only a number of orgasms, but also a few sex dreams.  “To Cougar in Training” is a sketchy (but hot) account of the first one, written by Jack.

“Road Tripping“, written by Jill, is the story of a vibrator and a blowjob set at a roadside truck stop.

“To Jilly Boyd on the Occasion of Your Twenty-First” was written as a birthday gift for blogger Jilly Boyd.

Although “Lush, a Fantasy” wasn’t written by either of us, it’s a beautifully-written, erotic account of an as-yet fictitious encounter between the two of us and Jilly Boyd.  We are honored to be the subject of her writing, and her fantasies.

Pictures

Last week’s “HNT: Santa’s Sexy Helper Part 1” is the  most-commented-on post in the three-plus years we’ve had this blog.

Ever wanted to see Jack in the altogether?  Last week’s Formspring Friday post is your chance.

Sex is always more exciting in public, as seen in “HNT: Fun at the Park“.

This picture of Jill is so sexy that the fan in your computer or laptop may stop working.

Miscellaneous Sexy Stuff

In “Hops in Bed: Beer and Sex” Jill gives thoughts on beer, and why it’s a sexy beverage.

“Fisting is Fun!” was written in observance of International Fisting Day.

When Jill was pregnant, her already-prodigious sex drive went into high gear, and it hasn’t slowed down since.  Read about it in “Week Twenty-Two“.

Sexy Memes

TMI Tuesday: Let’s Talk About Sex

TMI Tuesday: Naked

TMI Tuesday: Masturbation Edition

1.  What was your most memorable sexual moment?
Jack: Although not explicitly stated, we assume that this question, like all the others, refers to 2011.  I think my most memorable moment this year was having a threesome for my birthday.  I’d like to have threesomes more often, to be honest.
Jill:  I’ll go with being applauded by horny strangers who watched us play, and fuck, at a sex club.


2.  What firsts did you try this year?
Jack: As Jill stated above, we went to a sex club for the first time.  While we’ve done things in front of an audience before, this was the first time we paid admission for the privilege.  It was also the first time we showed off in front of strangers, and the first time we showed off for more than a couple of people at once.
Jill: We really dove into the whole social networking thing.  While we’ve been blogging since 2008 we got back into it in a big way, and began tweeting as well.  Suddenly our blog is reaching a vast new audience that might never have noticed us otherwise.

3.  What would you like to try for 2012?
Jack:  I’d like to eat a Monte Cristo sandwich.  Believe it or not, I’ve never actually had one.  I’m not even completely sure what they are.
Jill:  Although it’s not something I would be trying for the first time, I’d like some girl-girl fun in 2012, if not before.


4.  What’s on your sex toy shopping list for 2012?  Or what were your top sex toys you played with or reviewed of 2011?
Jack: We’d love to get something from the Lelo product line.  We’ve been interested in trying one of their vibrators for a few years but had trouble justifying the purchase.  Thanks to Eden Fantasys, we are planning to finally buy one.  Anyone have any suggestions?
Jill: We only reviewed one sex toy, the Devilish Desire, thanks to Eden Fantasys.  You can find that review (complete with pictures!) here.

As of this writing, the following sexy bloggers are also expected to participate in Stocking Fillers:

A Hubby of 2 Sexual Minds

Bare Naked Lady

Black Silk Blog

Dragon’s Kink

In the Swing

J C SubWeiser

Kinked into Submission

Mrs Discontented

Sex With Rose

Sexual Adventures of a Married Woman

Subrebel rebels notes

Tales From Under Our Covers

Dec. 22nd – Three Christmas Wishes HNT – Perhaps the hardest theme of the year. Pick three individuals to send special Christmas wishes to. The hard part? Pick three people who are not necessarily someone you’ll be sending a Christmas card to, or an e-card, or specifically contact at Christmas.Those people might expect something from you. No, send out your Christmas wishes to someone you’ve only lurked at, or to a newbie, or to someone whose HNTs and/or general blog posts have made some sort of impression. And post a picture of it, too! It can be serious or humorous or heartfelt or fantasy. Then contact that individual to let them know that they got one of your wishes. 

-Jill

This time of year there are so many holidays and celebrations that overlap, which is why it is called Holiday Season. [Editorial note:  Damn right.  You have to be pretty arrogant to insist or assume that everyone celebrates YOUR holiday.]

Jack’s Answers

1. What will you be celebrating? If it isn’t a commonly known holiday or celebration (i.e., Christmas, winter solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa) briefly tell us about it.
We will be celebrating Christmas, despite the fact that it would be awesome to piss off Bill O’Reilly by celebrating something else.

2. What’s your favorite Christmas or holiday tune?
I don’t have one.  Make no mistake; I’m not the sort who can’t stand to listen to Christmas music.  I grew up with it, and really enjoy it in-season.  I don’t think that I have a favorite.  However, lately I tend to prefer secular, non-traditional Christmas songs.  The first one that comes to mind is “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl:

3. If you are giving or receiving gifts this holiday season:
– What’s the gift you most want?
– What do you think is the best gift you are giving?
For the first time in awhile, there really isn’t anything I want or need for Christmas, certainly not enough to ask for it.  In other words, while I’d love a live-in nanny who could look after the baby when I need a break and dole out sexual favors when the baby naps, it might be a bit crass to sit on Santa’s lap and ask for such a present.  I feel like I am content, and while I certainly have no problem with the accumulation of material things, nothing comes to mind as an absolute must-have.  As for the best gift I am giving, I’ll take a pass on this one, as the recipient reads this blog.  In fact, the recipient co-authors this blog with me.

4. If you could spend this December holiday season anywhere, where would that be?
I’m going to say Ireland.  I don’t necessarily want to go there for Christmas (any more than I want to go there any other time of year, anyway), but I predict that Jill will choose Ireland as her own answer to this question, and since I want to spend the holidays with her, I’m sure that’s where I’ll have to go in order to do that.  (Big sacrifice, I know.)

5. Your family has announced that the holiday celebration & get-together will be at your home. You think to yourself:
a. Yes! Finally…the more the merrier.
b. I don’t have enough room for all of you, but let’s rent a hall and you all get hotel rooms.
c. Over my dead body, I don’t want you freaks in my house.
d. Hmm…I wonder if it’s too late to book a flight to anywhere, leaving on Christmas eve?
For some elements of my own family, I would choose “c”.  For others, I would gladly choose “a”.  It’s fortuitous that I wouldn’t have to put up with the unwanted element in order to host the wanted element, as the two are opposite sides of my family.  For the purposes of this answer, it’s irrelevant whether the unwanted side is my mom’s and the wanted side my dad’s, or vice versa.

6. Have you ever given a fruit cake as a Christmas gift or a gift at all? Do you even like fruit cake?
I’ve never given a fruit cake as a gift, not even a gag gift.  Ironically, though, I do like it.  Don’t judge me.  I eat a lot of weird foods, and my adventurousness at the table translates to adventurousness in the bedroom.

Bonus:  Share with us one of your holiday traditions.
Just one?  I’ve got so many.  Since I was a baby, my mother has always made Pillsbury-type cinnamon rolls for breakfast on Christmas morning while presents are being opened.  This tradition is upheld on alternating years when Jill and I spend Christmas morning with my parents.  On opposite years, when we celebrate with Jill’s extended family, we drink blenders full of Ramos fizzes instead, and I don’t miss the cinnamon rolls.  Also, despite my lack of faith, taking my aunt to Christmas Eve mass is a regular tradition for Jill and I.

Jill’s Answers

1. What will you be celebrating? If it isn’t a commonly known holiday or celebration (i.e., Christmas, winter solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa) briefly tell us about it.
I celebrate Christmas.

2. What’s your favorite Christmas or holiday tune?
“I’ll Be Home For Christmas”.  This song always plays on my heart strings, especially because I come from a large family and growing up, Christmas was a very special day.  The thought of not actually making it home for Christmas with my family was a sad one.  The first time I was away from my family on Christmas was the second one Jack and I spent together.  That year, we spent Christmas with his parents.  I had a wonderful time, but I still missed my family and our Christmas traditions.  I am including Dean Martin’s version of the song because it’s a little more up-tempo and doesn’t make me an emotional wreck.  Also, I love his voice.

3. If you are giving or receiving gifts this holiday season:
– What’s the gift you most want?
– What do you think is the best gift you are giving?
The gift that I most want is more time to do everything I need to do in life.  Since no one has invented a block of time that can be added on to your day for just $49.95, I’ll settle for spending the next couple weeks, while I’m on vacation from work, with Jack and our daughter.  As for the best gift I’m giving, I can’t say here because it’s for Jack.

4. If you could spend this December holiday season anywhere, where would that be?
I would love to spend my holiday in Ireland, but only if our families came too.

5. Your family has announced that the holiday celebration & get-together will be at your home. You think to yourself:
a. Yes! Finally…the more the merrier.
b. I don’t have enough room for all of you, but let’s rent a hall and you all get hotel rooms.
c. Over my dead body, I don’t want you freaks in my house.
d. Hmm…I wonder if it’s too late to book a flight to anywhere, leaving on Christmas eve?
I would definitely go with “a” despite the fact that hosting such a gathering would be a lot of work, and we definitely don’t have enough room to accommodate half, much less the entirety, of my family.  But we love hosting get-togethers with wonderful people, and as it would be an honor to host the family Christmas party I would gladly make the sacrifice provided my relatives don’t mind being packed in like sardines.

6. Have you ever given a fruit cake as a Christmas gift or a gift at all? Do you even like fruit cake?
No on all counts.  I would never curse someone with a fruitcake.

Bonus:  Share with us one of your holiday traditions.
I’ve been given a Christmas ornament from my parents every year since I was born.  We’ve extended this tradition to our daughter.

I have done this for a few years. Why? It never stops being fun and hilarious.

I invite you to elf yourself and if you can, post it on your blogs for TMI Tuesday.

[Editorial note:  We will not be sharing ours, as it would reveal more of ourselves than we’d like to reveal.  But you all have at it.]

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!