Even if their team is not going to the Super Bowl, millions of people love an excuse to party. So party we will. Tell us what your ideal Super Bowl Celebration (or any sports party) looks like by answering:

Jack’s Answers

1. What’s your favorite _____ that you’ll serve at the party (name one item for each):
a. choice of beer
I prefer not to drink – and therefore I don’t serve – cheap domestic beer like Bud Light or Coors Light.  I would probably have Blue Moon, Shock Top, Fat Tire or Gordon Biersch on hand, as to me those beers represent a respectable compromise between quality and cost.
b. choice of wine
Definitely a red, probably Pinot Noir.  While we drink a lot of wine, we drink more beer on Super Bowl Sunday.
c. choice of distilled spirit
I drink Irish whisky, preferably Jameson’s or Paddy’s (no Bushmills if I can help it).  However, I’ll put out some cheap whisky for my guests – Jack Daniels is likely – since they’ll probably prefer it anyway, the uncultured boors.  Beyond that, we will have on hand vodka, scotch, rum, and tequila, and a snifter of brandy after the game sounds good as well.
d. choice of mixed drink
I usually drink my whisky neat; however I will have on hand all the usual mixers for my guests to enjoy as they see fit.
e. choice of chip
Corn chips will be served.  They’re not my favorite chip for snacking on; that distinction goes to the sturdy, delicious tortilla chip, especially when eaten with a delicious homemade tomatillo or habanero salsa.  However, corn chips go perfectly with my preferred dip.  See the next question.
f. choice of dip
The greatest Super Bowl Sunday dip in the world is a mix of rotisserie chicken, buffalo wing sauce, cream cheese, Monterey Jack cheese, and blue cheese dressing.  Once I tried this stuff, I knew I’d never go back to heroin.
g. choice of take-out food (pizza, burgers, Chinese food, wings, etc)
Wings.  I don’t think there’s ever been a Super Bowl Sunday in which I haven’t eaten wings.  Even after polishing off half a tray of the aforementioned buffalo wing dip, I can still kill several buffalo wings.
h. choice of homemade food
Whatever you want to make, ’cause I’m not cooking.
i. choice of salty food
Tortilla chips.  If time allows on Saturday (it probably won’t), I might make some from scratch, along with some salsa.
j. choice of sweet food
Probably M&Ms.  We always have a few bags in our cupboard, and enjoy munching on them whether there’s a football game on or not.

2. What will you wear at the party?
Hopefully nothing.  Hey, it’s my party.

3. You will be having your very own half time show at the football party. What is that half-time show? Briefly describe.
During half time, all chairs will be moved away from the center of the room.  Jill and I will move into the empty space, strip off each other’s clothes, and begin fucking with wild abandon while our guests cheer us on.

4. What team do you wish was playing in the Super Bowl?
My local heroes, the San Francisco 49ers.  I doubt any Bay Area football fan was less than heartbroken after their loss to the Giants.

5. The NY Giants and New England Patriots are in Super Bowl 2012, who do you want to win?  (ummm…yeah, I had to google that info…LOL)
I’ll be rooting for the Patriots, and not just because the Giants beat the Niners.  I like the team, and would greatly enjoy seeing them get a little payback after the upset that was Super Bowl XLII.

Bonus: Have you ever made a football (or Super Bowl) bet that involved sex? Tell us about your own Super Bowl of Sex.
No, I’ve never made a Super Bowl bet involving sex.  However, I bet on Juan carlos Ferrero to win the 2003 U.S. Open.  Andy Roddick won instead, I couldn’t come up with the money, and the bookie made me her sex slave for two weeks.  When it was over, I re-upped for another week.

Bonus Bonus: Will you watch the Super Bowl? Do you even care about the Super Bowl? American football at all? What’s your can’t live without sport?
We’ll be watching.  More than likely we’ll watch the game at Jill’s parents’ house, where it’ll be a packed house, and much delicious food and drink will be consumed.  Of all the major sports I can think of, football is the one I follow the closest, although generally speaking I don’t get invested in too many games that don’t involve the 49ers – unless I’m watching to root against a team I particularly dislike. *cough* Raiders *cough*

Jill’s Answers

1. What’s your favorite _____ that you’ll serve at the party (name one item for each):
a. choice of beer
I like Guinness, so that’s what I’d probably serve to my guests.  I realize that it’s not exactly a “football” beer, but I’m not buying Bud Light.  It’s not allowed on my property.
b. choice of wine
The variety of wine that I drink most often lately is Pinot Noir, or possibly Syrah.  Although if Guinness isn’t exactly a “football” beer, neither is wine a “football” beverage.  But that’s what we have, so that’s what I’d offer our guests.
c. choice of distilled spirit
Definitely vodka!  I like screwdrivers, vodka cranberry, vodka cran orange, and plenty of other cocktails made with vodka, so that’s what I’d have available.
d. choice of mixed drink
I’d probably go with vodka cran orange, but if the game was at ten AM, we’d be drinking Ramos Fizzes.
e. choice of chip
Regular Lay’s potato chips.
f. choice of dip
I love onion dip, but it has to be made with Lipton’s onion soup mix, and not French onion dip.
g. choice of take-out food (pizza, burgers, Chinese food, wings, etc)
Wings.  There’s something about eating greasy chicken wings that goes hand-in-hand with football.  Pizza is a close second, although I really associate pizza with Monday Night Football, as that’s what we ate every Monday while watching the game when I was a kid.
h. choice of homemade food
There’s a really good buffalo chicken dip that we make on Super Bowl Sunday.  In fact, we were introduced to this recipe several Super Bowls back.  We make it, and eat it, on other occasions, but it’s perfect for the Super Bowl.
i. choice of salty food
Chips or pretzels.
j. choice of sweet food
Peanut M&Ms.  They’re perfect for any occasion, and it’s not a Super Bowl party without a few bowls for guests to enjoy.

2. What will you wear at the party?
My New England Patriots shirt and jeans.

3. You will be having your very own half time show at the football party. What is that half-time show? Briefly describe.
Naked Twister!  Actually, anything involving sex would be wonderful.  In 2009 I wrote a story about sexy half time fun during the Super Bowl.  I’m re-posting it here for your enjoyment.

You can’t see it, but I’m using my Rabbit in this shot.  Nothing against my fingers – I love the way my pussy feels against them – but when you are pressed for time, the quicker the better!

-Jill

Take my hand and come into the kitchen with me.  Quickly, before the baby notices we’re gone.  Close the door.  Now stand right here.  Oh!  You’re already nice and hard.  I’ve been hungry for you all day, and I don’t want to wait a second longer.

This week’s question brought back fond memories of our carefree single days.


What’s the fastest you’ve gone from meeting someone to sleeping with them?

Jack’s Answer

The fastest I’ve ever gone was probably a couple hours.  I had a few one-night stands in my single days, and most of these were bar pickups.  However, when I was in my early twenties I attended a house party held by a friend’s cousin.  I hit it off well with one of the host’s co-workers and we spent awhile chatting.  Then she gave me head in a spare bedroom.

Although head qualifies as sex in my book, it’s probably not the same as sleeping with someone, which is what the question specifically asked.  Therefore I’ll talk about the first time I picked somebody up in a bar.  I was twenty-one, newly-dumped by someone I really cared about, and feeling somewhat disillusioned.  Also being newly-legal, I’d been regularly visiting bars with friends on the weekends.  I was still living with my parents, and one Tuesday or Thursday night, after a night class, I decided to go to a bar as we had out-of-town family visiting and I didn’t particularly want to see them or socialize with them.

The woman I hooked up with had to have been in her thirties.  She seemed older, mature, even distinguished, but she was probably younger than I am currently.  We sat beside each other at the bar, our legs casually brushing against one another without any conscious effort by either of us.  We made small talk for awhile, about typical topics most of which are long forgotten, but I distinctly remember her telling me that she was trying to get custody of her son, or at least visitation rights.  It wasn’t until I bought her a drink that she told me her name.

After another round, she asked if I wanted to get out of there.  I said yes, and she basically asked me my place or hers, although she didn’t use those exact words.  Hesitant to tell her that I still lived with my parents, I mumbled something half-hearted about having out of town company – which was, of course, 100% true – and asked if we could go to her place.  We did.  If I had to guess, I’d say that the sex began about an hour and a half after she gave me her name, which for the purposes of answering this question would be when I met her, technically.

She wasn’t the best sex I had ever had at that point in my life; likely that distinction goes to a girl I dated casually during my first year of college.  But my one-night stand wasn’t a dead fish by any means; the sex was fun and exciting, and it certainly beat the hell out of going home and masturbating.

Jill’s Answer

Three hours.  When I was around twenty-seven, I went to a club with some friends.  We arrived by eight, were drunk by nine, and shortly thereafter met some guys.  We hung out and danced for awhile, and I had a good time getting to know one of the guys.  Eventually my friends got ready to leave, but I wasn’t ready and he offered to give me a ride home.

Once we were in his car, he asked where I wanted him to take me.  I told him that it was still early, and why didn’t he take me to his place.  (I was enjoying his company, but I really didn’t want him to know where I lived.)  He was visiting from out of town, and staying with friends or relatives.  When we got back to his place, we started making out on the couch, and before long we were tearing each other’s clothes off and vigorously going at it right there in the living room.  At one point I’m pretty sure someone came out to get a glass of water or something while we were having sex.

We fell asleep on the couch, under a blanket.  I woke up sometime later and walked home.  It turns out that his place was just a few blocks from where I was living at the time.

If you want to ask us anything, drop us a line on Formspring, or use the handy Formspring widget on the right-hand side of our blog.  We like sexy questions!

Head over to The Naughty Hangout and see who else participated this week!

I am a Graham Norton fan. He has a newish show called “Would You Rather” that airs on BBC America (you know the Top Gear-Gordon Ramsay channel…ugh!!). I grabbed these fun questions from WYR.

It’s taken us a week, but for all intents and purposes we are moved out of our old place and into our new one.  It was a difficult move, but we’re glad to be done and we look forward to getting all of our things unpacked and put in place.  The sooner we do that, the sooner we can resume our normal blogging/tweeting schedules.  While bringing in some boxes from the moving truck last night, Jill and I noticed that we were alone in the parking garage, and she took advantage.

Before you unfollow us in disgust, I should point out that I normally wear my pants at a respectable height.

-Jack