Jack’s Answers

1. For self-arousal, if you could reach any part of your body with your mouth, which part would you like to reach and why?
Well, I guess the obvious answer would be my cock, not that I find any sort of real pleasure in the idea of autofellatio. Yes, it’s supposed to be the holy grail of the male experience, and sure, we’ve all watched Ron Jeremy do it and thought it was indeed an accomplishment, if a bizarre one. But I don’t have any desire to suck my own cock. It seems that it would be too much work, sort of like sixty-nine with the risk of death-by-broken-neck. And since I’ve never sucked a cock before, it stands to reason that I’d be really bad at it, and therefore the pleasure factor would be infinitesimal. But other than my cock, I can’t think of a single other part of my body that I’d want to reach with my mouth; while I get pleasure from, say, having my nipples sucked, I don’t get nearly enough to want to do it myself.

Obviously, I can’t discuss the topic of autofellatio without recalling a classic scene from Kevin Smith‘s 1994 film “Clerks.” Have Dramamine ready.

2. If you reached that part of your body, how often and how long would you want to stay there?
Probably not very long or often. I don’t know that I’m sufficiently confident in my heterosexuality to enjoy sucking even my own cock.

3. If the opportunity arose, what would you like to do to someone else that you have never been game to try before?
In one hundred percent seriousness, I haven’t the slightest idea. I can’t think of any sex act or even plausible sexual position involving myself and another person that I’ve yet to try. Locations? Perhaps. Specific people I’d like to do specific things to? No doubt. And I’ve never been a fan of the Donkey Punch/Cleveland Steamer/Hot Carl school of sex acts that nineteen year-old frat boys find uproariously funny. So I think I’m just about content.

4. You have been selected to swap one of your organs with another member of the opposite sex. What would you swap and why? Who would you choose as the organ donor?
I’d switch my penis for my wife’s vagina; we could then have one of those crazy revelatory scenes right out of a 1980s screwball comedy wherein we each wake up and discover that we’ve switched genders, or at least genitalia. As for why Jill specifically, I enjoy having sex with her, and with our junk switched, we wouldn’t have to find new partners.

5. Overnight you have a beauty sleep and inexplicably awaken at dawn having now turned into the most beautiful person on the planet. What would you do differently for the next 24 hours?
What would I do differently as the most beautiful person on the planet? Not much, as I’m already almost there. Seriously, folks, were I the most beautiful person on the planet I imagine I would go apeshit for the first twenty-four hours (at least), having my ass kissed by everybody I came into contact with. Everyone would greet me with a smile! Doors would be held open everywhere I went! McDonald’s would serve me burgers that hadn’t been dropped on the floor! And yes, the law against first-degree murder would no longer apply to me.

Bonus Question: You are noticed by a talent scout and invited to star in your own x-rated movie for world wide distribution. You are asked to write the plot. Describe your movie plot in one sentence of no more than 20 words.
A small town boy fucks his way to the top, only to lose it all when he gets there.

Jill’s Answers

1. For self-arousal, if you could reach any part of your body with your mouth, which part would you like to reach and why?
If I was capable of reaching any part of my body with my mouth, I would have to go with the obvious answer: My clit. Although my nipples, thighs and feet are extremely sensitive to oral stimulation I have always wanted to eat pussy but have never had the opportunity. This would be a convenient way to satisfy my curiosity.

2. If you reached that part of your body, how often and how long would you want to stay there?
Until I came, hopefully! Nothing worse than someone giving you oral pleasure, getting all hot and bothered and having them stop before you’re finished.

3. If the opportunity arose, what would you like to do to someone else that you have never been game to try before?
See my answer to question number one.

4. You have been selected to swap one of your organs with another member of the opposite sex. What would you swap and why? Who would you choose as the organ donor?
I’d probably give my brain to a certain ex-boyfriend whose own brain didn’t work so well. But it would have to be temporary. I wouldn’t want to have his brain forever.

5. Overnight you have a beauty sleep and inexplicably awaken at dawn having now turned into the most beautiful person on the planet. What would you do differently for the next 24 hours?
Whatever I would do, I would do it a lot more confidently.

Bonus Question: You are noticed by a talent scout and invited to star in your own x-rated movie for world wide distribution. You are asked to write the plot. Describe your movie plot in one sentence of no more than 20 words.
Girl meets boy, girl gets boy, girl moves on to the next boy and repeats the process.