After this week’s TMI Tuesday you may say, “Get out of my head!”
We’re back! As stated on this week’s Sinful Sunday, our blog was down for the first couple weeks of the month. Additionally answering this week’s questions completely slipped my mind, which is why it’s being posted at 8:30 PM on Tuesday, and why Jill is unable to participate.
1. For you, can sex be separated from love?
Absolutely. I often have sex that doesn’t involve love, and I love people who I may not ever be sexual with, or even for whom I may not have sexual feelings. When I have sex with my wife, it may be an expression of love though it’s usually just sex. (I am pretty good at compartmentalizing.) I don’t even necessarily feel that sex is better when it overlaps with love, though it certainly may be. It’s just that the two don’t have to overlap at all.
2. Can sex be separated from caring?
It can, though this isn’t my preference. For a number of reasons, I would rather never have sex with someone I’m not sure I like. Part of it is that some manner of emotional connection – not even saying feelings, just a connection – makes me feel more secure. Additionally I prefer to know who the other person is and what they’re about. I’m pretty good at sex and tend to put everything I have into making the experience pleasurable; I would hate to find out after I gave my partner a mind-blowing chain of G-spot orgasms (with clit stimulation!) that she voted for Trump.
3. Men: Does sex seem to be something that you can never get enough of and are constantly seeking or thinking about?
Yes. I’ve written about this extensively on the blog. Sex is my primary motivator for many of the decisions I’ve made throughout my life. Whether to go out on a Friday night? What courses to study in college? What hobbies to cultivate? Which geeky T-shirt to wear? All of these decisions were made along the lines of “Which of these options will get me laid.” As I’ve come to terms with being poly, however, I’ve realized that I’m also motivated by making different kinds of connections, albeit ones that will include sex.
4. Women: Is sex secondary to intimacy, physical closeness, and commitment?
Moving right along…
5. Who is more discriminating in choosing sexual partners–you or your significant other?
My wife seems to be. Certainly in terms of choosing partners outside our relationship. She is more selective than I am, and I suspect she has exacting standards whereas I tend to be attracted to and interested in nearly anyone who is attracted to and interested in me. That is not to say that I will necessarily have sex with anyone who fits that criteria, just that I don’t chase women who seemingly have no interest.
Bonus: Who is more likely to take on additional sexual partners, you or your significant other?
I am. My wife currently has one extracurricular sexual partner of whom I am aware. I, on the other hand, have a small handful of wonderful women who have been so amazing as to consider me worthy of seeing them naked, and yes, I’m always looking for another.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!