Last year, writer and content creator K-ghislaine published a series of daily prompts related to sex-positivity throughout the month of October. I posted my responses to these prompts over the course of three blog posts throughout the month.

This year, K-ghislaine published daily prompts related to self-love throughout September. I was unable to participate last month, so I’m going to publish my responses this month instead. The first batch of responses follows.

Day 1: Check in Time. What 3 words would you use to describe yourself?
The first three words that come to mind are generous, patient, and diligent. Though I have not always been able to see and acknowledge my positive qualities, I’ve done a lot of work on myself over the past year and a half to change that. I am generous. I am patient. I am diligent. Obviously I have flaws like anyone else, but focusing on my positive side seems a lot more healthy than dwelling on aspects of myself I wish were different. Incidentally, if you ask me this question in a week you might get three completely different words. Intelligent. Conscientious. Imaginative. Sexy. Hard-working. Neurodivergent. Easygoing. I contain multitudes.

Day 2: Reflection. Were the words chosen yesterday complimentary, harsh, or balanced? Are there any you would change today?
As I mentioned yesterday, I chose three complimentary words. I suppose had I given it a lot of thought I would have returned an answer that was more balanced, but after years of difficulty seeing the good in myself – years in which I absolutely would have described myself with three harsh words – I see little reason not to do so now. I allow myself to focus on the positive within me because I suspect that if I don’t, nobody else will. As for whether I would change any of the words today, probably not. I feel much the same as I did when I answered yesterday’s prompt.

Day 3: Action. Once you’ve completed the last 2 challenges I want you to physically pat yourself on the back. How do you honestly feel right now?
Sore. I’m fifty and my body doesn’t flex quite the way it used to. But for a more straightforward answer, I feel pretty good. Or do I feel lonely because I’m the only one patting myself on the back these days? You know what? No. I am going to focus on the positive. I feel pretty good.

Day 4: Reflection. What was something that you did as a child that always made you smile? Why did you stop doing it?
As a child, and an adolescent, and a young adult, I assumed my good life was always going to be good. The evidence I had before me – financial security, a roof over my head, the love of my parents and then my wife, and all the external trappings of success – gave me no reason to believe otherwise. And why did I stop? I suppose I stopped because reality. These days, life isn’t always good. On the other hand, if you’re looking for whimsical, fun things that children often do, I suppose I haven’t really stopped most of them. I read comics. I watch silly cartoons from my youth. I use my imagination freely. I don’t think I’ll ever stop doing these things.

Day 5: Self-Love. Today I want each and everyone of you to look into the mirror and say “I love you.”
Done!

Day 6: Reflection. How did saying I love you to yourself make you feel? Was this a new experience, or something familiar?
It felt pretty good. Perhaps not as good as it would feel to hear someone else say it, perhaps as we lie in bed together, or between hungry kisses during a ferocious makeout session – hey, I like external validation! – but it felt good nonetheless because it isn’t something I hear often. I used to, though.

Day 7: Action. The power of touching yourself. A light tickle on the arm, a soothing foot rub, or something more intimate.
I used my Hitachi to ease my sciatica. Perhaps tonight I’ll use it for its more widely accepted purpose.

Day 8: Reflection. Today I want you to think about all the ways you enjoy being touched, either by yourself, or by loved ones.
By my loved ones? A hug is good. I have no intimate relationships at the moment – crazy how they all kind of ended around the same time, isn’t it? – and I fear I never will again. When I did, though, cuddling was something I kind of needed and I mourn the absence of it. Kissing, making out, and of course sex are all great. By myself, though? That Hitachi sciatica thing yesterday was very helpful. I’ve suffered from sciatica for decades and I’m always trying to find a way to conquer the pain that doesn’t involve medication. Which is not to say that I am opposed to taking a pain pill; some days I just don’t have it in me to “mind over matter” the discomfort away.

Day 9: Action. Today, I want you to practice asking out loud for a specific type of intimate touch. How does asking make you feel?
Kind of weird, honestly, because of the whole lack of a relationship thing I’ve got going on. It kind of feels like I’m beseeching the universe to touch me or something. In theory if I had someone I could ask, I suppose I’d feel okay voicing a specific request. For example, if I was receiving head, I probably wouldn’t have trouble doing some minor directing. Like, “If my good girl keeps doing what she’s doing right now, she’s going to get her reward.” But generally speaking, I’m happy with whatever is happening. I acknowledge that that is part of my accommodating, people-pleasing nature, and I should have no trouble enthusiastically voicing what I really want. Honestly, though, I’m usually just happy to have been invited to the party, so to speak.

Day 10: Self-Love. Water plays a vital role in our lives, and our own selves. Find time today to swim, take a hot shower, bath, or just sip an extra glass of water.
Between the condo I was asked to leave in November 2024 (where I am as I write this) and the house I moved into immediately afterwards, hot water is severely limited. The shower in the condo’s primary bathroom doesn’t work anymore. I don’t know why; whatever caused it happened after I left and my wife seems content to just use the shower in the hall bathroom. And as for that shower, in spring 2024, a botched faucet installation that I was not involved in turned what was formerly a source of virtually unlimited hot water and consistent pressure into a sad, wet little closet where the water has to run five minutes or more before it warms up, and where hot water lasts five minutes if you’re lucky.  Things are better at home, though even there the hot water isn’t plentiful. I miss the hall bathroom shower prior to that fateful installation. Ironically, over this past summer I grew accustomed to taking cold showers first thing in the mornings because most nights at home were uncomfortably hot. That being said, I drink a lot of water on the average day, so I’ve got that part covered.

Thanks to K-ghislaine for inspiring me to write this. Stay tuned for Part 2!