4. Do you express your sexual pleasure with moans, groans, sighs, and other noises (provided that you are actually turned on)?
a. Yes, each time I have sex (90-100% of the time).
b. Yes, on most occasions (70-89% of the time).
c. Yes, on some occasions (40-69% of the time).
d. Yes, on a few occasions (10-39% of the time).
e. Yes, but only on special occasions (1-9% of the time).
f. Never, not even when I am really turned on.
A. While I am pretty sure that I do make noise everytime that I have sex, I’m completely certain that I don’t make anywhere near as much noise as Jill does. Our sexual dialogue is practically a one-sided conversation and I can barely get a moan in edgewise. The big difference between the two of us is that while Jill makes noise almost constantly throughout, I tend to moan primarily during my orgasm(s), at which point I’ll let loose with a flood of “Oh fuck”s and “I’m cumming”s.
5. Do you talk to your partner in a sexually explicit way?
a. Talking dirty is one of our favorite activities.
b. Occasionally, I like to talk dirty with my partner, and I do it with ease.
c. I talk dirty with my partner, but it feels awkward.
d. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but I don’t dare for fear of being judged or ridiculed.
e. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but she/he isn’t into it.
f. I don’t talk in such a way because I think it is inappropriate.
g. I don’t talk in such a way because I can’t bring myself to do it.
B. I think I talk dirty to Jill more than “occasionally”, but I don’t do it every single time. This isn’t because of any inhibition on my part; on the contrary, I enjoy not only the act of talking dirty but also my wife’s reactions to my dirty talk. She is the kind of person who best enjoys sex when all of her senses are engaged (as am I), and seeing or feeling the arousal that results from a few judicious dirty words is an immense thrill for me. There was a time when I wasn’t comfortable talking dirty, not because I was unconfident in myself, but because I didn’t think the recipients would be receptive. Jill makes it easy.
6. What kind of animal do you most sound like when building to a climax?
a. quiet little mouse
b. low moaning wolf
c. screeching beluga whale
B. I’m inclined to go with the low moaning wolf if only because nothing else really fits. I’m definitely not a quiet little mouse when I climax – though I notice that the question specifically references building to a climax, not the climax itself – and I don’t think my noises are screeches, exactly. No, I would say that my sounds are definitely moans, and while I’ve never thought of them as wolflike, I suppose that’s accurate.
Bonus: Which do you prefer comfort sex or thrill-seeking sex? Why?
Comfort seekers value deep intimacy, quiet engagement and trust over time of familiar relationships. For them sex is best as a safe, loving nurturing space.*
Thrill seekers value wild energy, adventure and novelty; they are willing to try open relationships, testing themselves outside average sexual practices. These folks crave a place to push the boundaries of new experiences.*
Jill’s Answers
1. How do you feel about giving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?
a. I love it.
b. I enjoy it.
c. I’m ok with it.
d. I don’t really enjoy it.
e. I don’t enjoy it at all.
f. I have never given anal sex.
g. I have never given anal sex, but would like to start.
F. I have never given anal sex. I can’t say that I would like to start, as it isn’t a particular turn-on of mine. I would never rule it out, and if a lover wanted to be pegged I’m sure I would gladly oblige him or her. And I imagine that wearing a strap-on dildo would be fun and probably very sexy. But it’s not Jack’s kink, nor is it mine, and so far it hasn’t come up.
2. How do you feel about receiving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?
a. I love it.
b. I enjoy it.
c. I’m ok with it.
d. I don’t enjoy it at all.
e. I have never received anal sex.
f. I have never received anal sex, but would like to start.
A. I love it. When done correctly it can be so intense and gratifying. If I’m masturbating at the same time my orgasms are sure to be out of this world. We don’t have anal sex very often, maybe every couple months when we are able to dedicate enough time to it and can ensure that it will be the wonderful experience we know it can be. Given that my first time having anal sex was such an awful experience that bordered on sexual assault, I think it says a lot about me that I enjoy it so much today.
3. How do you feel about getting undressed in front of a new lover, for the first time, as he/she watches you?
a. It’s a turn on for me.
b. It turns me on a little bit.
c. I like it, but only because it gets him/her going.
d. It does nothing for me.
e. I don’t like doing it because I am shy.
f. I don’t like doing it because I think it’s immoral/improper.
A. I think it can be really hot, especially if I then get to watch them get undressed as well. It’s even better if I get to help. I am a natural exhibitionist, and I get off on showing my body to interested parties. In fact, it’s been a very long time since I got undressed in front of a new lover for the first time. I’d like to see about recapturing that feeling. I might even put a little booty shake into it!
4. Do you express your sexual pleasure with moans, groans, sighs, and other noises (provided that you are actually turned on)?
a. Yes, each time I have sex (90-100% of the time).
b. Yes, on most occasions (70-89% of the time).
c. Yes, on some occasions (40-69% of the time).
d. Yes, on a few occasions (10-39% of the time).
e. Yes, but only on special occasions (1-9% of the time).
f. Never, not even when I am really turned on.
A. I am naturally very loud during sex, and even when I am trying to be quiet, I am often unsuccessful. If I have to be quiet due to a sleeping baby, or in-laws in the next room, I can probably stifle about 90% of the noises I normally make. That other ten percent, though, is really fucking loud. Good thing my daughter is a sound sleeper, and both of my in-laws are partially hearing-impaired.
5. Do you talk to your partner in a sexually explicit way?
a. Talking dirty is one of our favorite activities.
b. Occasionally, I like to talk dirty with my partner, and I do it with ease.
c. I talk dirty with my partner, but it feels awkward.
d. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but I don’t dare for fear of being judged or ridiculed.
e. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but she/he isn’t into it.
f. I don’t talk in such a way because I think it is inappropriate.
g. I don’t talk in such a way because I can’t bring myself to do it.
A. I don’t know that it’s one of our favorite activities, moreso than, say, oral sex, but it is a regular part of our sex life and something that we really enjoy. I definitely do it with ease, and I would like to think that I’m really good at it. It’s very exciting for both of us, and it adds dimensions to the fantasy aspect of our sex play.
6. What kind of animal do you most sound like when building to a climax?
a. quiet little mouse
b. low moaning wolf
c. screeching beluga whale
B. During regular penetrative sex I tend to moan loudly. While my voice is low, the volume is anything but. However, if Jack is either fisting me or sucking my toes, I definitely sound like C., the screeching beluga whale. The sounds that come out of my mouth when these things are happening have probably given our neighbors nightmares. There are times when I try to sound like A., a quiet little mouse, especially when there is a risk of being overheard by people who wouldn’t want to overhear. But no matter how much I try to muffle myself with a pillow, I just can’t.
Bonus: Which do you prefer comfort sex or thrill-seeking sex? Why?
Comfort seekers value deep intimacy, quiet engagement and trust over time of familiar relationships. For them sex is best as a safe, loving nurturing space.*
Thrill seekers value wild energy, adventure and novelty; they are willing to try open relationships, testing themselves outside average sexual practices. These folks crave a place to push the boundaries of new experiences.*
This is a really difficult question for me to answer. I desperately want to say that I prefer thrill-seeking sex, in part because I really do enjoy it, and in part because I know that that’s what Jack will answer. I enjoy stepping outside my comfort zone, or even being pushed outside of it. I find that I’ve enjoyed every thrill-seeking sexual experience I’ve ever had, and I’m open to trying just about anything if the circumstances are right. I love the excitement I get from performing in front of a crowd (or even one other person). I love sudden, spontaneous sex in risky locations, and masturbating in the passenger seat while Jack drives. I love the thought of being in the center of an orgy, with hands groping my flesh, tongues licking every inch of my body, and steel-hard cocks probing my openings. I am a fan of pushing my limits, and I want desperately to contine to do so. But the reality is that I am more of a comfort seeker. I love the connection that I have with Jack, and if I had to choose I would gladly take that connection over anything else. While I value an exciting, new sexual experience, I value the safety and stability that I get from sex above all else.
*Adapted from Susan Mernit’s blog
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
The effects of long-term handcuff usage by Jill during our last The Naughty Hangout photoshoot and the sex that followed it.
-Jack
See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!
do you do pegging?
No, we don’t. That’s not to say that we have anything against the act itself; we know how popular pegging is amongst many of our fellow bloggers, and we understand that the male prostate is a hotbed of nerve endings and that the pleasure the recipient receives from pegging is potentially very great.
That said, pegging isn’t something that turns either of us on. Perhaps Jill still subscribes to more traditional gender roles, because more often than not she prefers being the sub to my Dom. If one of the two of us is going to be anally-penetrated it’s going to be her. Jill cannot say whether any of her hesitation is due to her not wanting to do it wrong; having been forcibly ass-fucked by an ex-boyfriend the need to go slow and use plenty of lube is not lost on her. But if that has anything to do with it, it has less to do with it than the simple fact that she’s just not into pegging.
In the interest of being GGG*, I am of the mindset that there is nothing wrong with pegging beyond the fact that it’s not my particular kink. Were it something Jill was interested in trying, I would gladly indulge her, as she is that important to me, and considering how many of my fantasies she’s allowed to come true, it’s only fair to reciprocate. However, I can admit to being relieved that pegging isn’t something Jill is interested in exploring.
If you want to ask us anything, drop us a line on Formspring, or use the handy Formspring widget on the right-hand side of our blog. We like sexy questions! To see who else participated this week, visit Twitter and search for #FormspringFriday!
*Good, giving, and game. Per advice columnist Dan Savage, this refers to being good in bed, giving equal time and equal pleasure, and game for anything—within reason. Coincidentally, Savage is responsible for popularizing the term “pegging”.
Go see who else is being naughty this week!
-Jill
He parked down the block so the neighbors wouldn’t see his car. It wouldn’t be good for his wife to find out that he’d come home in the middle of a work day. It was a long shot, of course; chances are that no one would mention it to her. But if they did she’d ask him why, and eventually she’d catch him in a lie. Best to just avoid the discussion altogether.
Ten minutes until she arrived. That was just enough time to take a quick shower and shave away the stubble that had amassed on his cheeks. Her thighs were sensitive, after all, and he tried his best to be mindful. He had a brand new bottle of Skin Bracer he was looking forward to splashing on. He knew the scent drove her wild.
Though he was looking forward to a warm shower, he wished they had time to shower together afterward, as he imagined they would both need to clean up before returning to work. But even without the shower he would be cutting it close, and despite the longer-than-usual lunch break she enjoyed on Wednesdays, he knew she would be hard-pressed to get back to the office on time.
He looked forward to the day when they’d be able to get together in the evening, or perhaps on a Saturday. He would pull out all the stops for her: Rose petals on the bed, champagne and strawberries. They could take their time, maybe even fall asleep in each other’s arms, and then shower. That sounded blissful.
He walked upstairs, checking to make sure the ringer on his cell phone was at full volume. He didn’t want to miss her call. He probably should have just left the door unlocked; that way he wouldn’t have to rush through his shower, and she could walk right in, strip down, and join him.
He opened the bedroom door, and glanced inside. Apparently he wasn’t the only one taking a midday break. Hastily and noiselessly, he shut the bedroom door and hurried down the stairs, stabbing at the buttons on his phone as he went. When she answered, he didn’t wait for her greeting before he spoke:
“How about your place?”
Once again Virtualsin has provided us with TMI Tuesday questions.
The Cure – Let’s Go To Bed from Martin Zulić on Vimeo.
Jack’s Answers
1. What size (King, queen, full, twin)?
Queen, though it may as well be a twin on those nights when the baby finds her way into bed with us.
2. What mattress construction (conventional springs, air bed, water bed, Tempurpedic-type)
Whatever it is, I wish it was a little bit lower, because I’m not the tallest guy out there, and it’s very humiliating having to stand on a stack of phone books when I’ve got Jill bent over the bed and we’re doing doggy style.
3. What type furniture (just a frame, headboard/footboard, canopy, trundle, etc)? Describe.
It’s a race car!
4. If your bed has headboard/footboard or bedposts, have you ever been tied to them? Ever tied anyone to them? For what purpose?
Though I have never tied anyone to the bedposts on our bed, I most certainly have been tied to them. As I am not submissive (nor is Jill particularly dominant), it was not for sexual purposes. On the contrary, it was for the purpose of exorcism.
5. What kind of sheets (cotton, linen, silk, flannel)?
No love for rubber sheets?
6. What kind of blankets (cotton, wool, thermal, electric)?
Um…they’re white?
7. What’s on top (bedspread, duvet,…)?
Hopefully you.
8. What kind of pillow (down, foam, fiberfill)?
I use a couple fiberfill pillows. I have an aversion to down; if I wanted to sleep with something that would repeatedly stab me in my sleep I would still be with my ex. I’ve slept with two pillows since I was probably thirteen or fourteen; one would go under my head, while the other went under my arm in much the same way that one might place their arm around a lover while sleeping. It actually fucked up my sleep habits for quite awhile, as not only could I not sleep properly with only one pillow, but also when sleeping with a woman I found that I had to raise my arm to a much higher angle then I was used to when putting it around her.
Bonus: Fill in the blank and answer question.
If _____ comes over, will you let them fuck you on your bed? Yes or no.
Rick Santorum; no, although I know he wants to.
Jill’s Answers
1. What size (King, queen, full, twin)?
We have a queen bed. I’d love to have a California King for those nights when the baby ends up sleeping in our bed. Though a queen is nice for cuddling.
2. What mattress construction (conventional springs, air bed, water bed, Tempurpedic-type)
Pillowtop. It’s got a nice fluffy cushion on top. It may not be the biggest bed I’ve ever slept on, but it’s one of the softest. Before we got married, Jack had a very nice queen bed. It was very comfortable, but it didn’t have a pillowtop mattress, and when I moved in that thing went into the guest room.
3. What type furniture (just a frame, headboard/footboard, canopy, trundle, etc)? Describe.
Right now it’s just a frame. We had a headboard but during our last move we decided to get rid of it. It didn’t attach to the frame correctly, and every time we had sex it would just bang against the wall. Plus it didn’t have any slats or other means of attaching restraints.
4. If your bed has headboard/footboard or bedposts, have you ever been tied to them? Ever tied anyone to them? For what purpose?
Our bed has no tie points of any kind. However, when we stay at Jack’s parents’, we sometimes make use of the very distinctive headboard in their guest room.
5. What kind of sheets (cotton, linen, silk, flannel)?
Right now we have 800-thread count Egyptian cotton, which is really comfortable, especially when the weather is warm. During winter, there is nothing like flannel to keep us warm. Well, except for body heat! We’ve never tried linen or silk, and satin sheets made us slide right off the bed.
6. What kind of blankets (cotton, wool, thermal, electric)?
Our blankets are cotton. Unlike our sheets, we generally use cotton blankets year-round, though depending on the weather we usually have anywhere between one and three separate blankets on the bed.
7. What’s on top (bedspread, duvet,…)?
A down comforter wrapped in a duvet to keep it clean. It’s normally only on in wintertime, though. In summer it’s usually discarded and left on the floor, or at the very least not on the bed when we’re sleeping.
8. What kind of pillow (down, foam, fiberfill)?
I have down pillows. I love that they are malleable and can conform to the shape of my neck. With other kinds of pillows I find that I sometimes wake up with a stiff neck. We do have one Memoryfoam pillow, but usually Jack crams it under my ass when we’re fucking.
Bonus: Fill in the blank and answer question.
If _____ comes over, will you let them fuck you on your bed? Yes or no.
my college roommate’s husband (who I wrote about here); yes, especially if I can suck Jack’s cock at the same time.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
