Talking Heads video by Jonathan Demme – Stop Making Sense. Great film, great music. Click here to enjoy.
Jack’s Answers
1. If you were a car, which one would you be? What are some of your best features? My features would include a turbocharged engine with blow-off valve (much sexier than a dump valve), ball bearings, a stick shift, and of course a camshaft. I don’t know what specific car I would be, just that I’d be whatever the ladies like to ride. But in case the ladies didn’t like to ride me, I’d make sure I also came with a stroker kit.
2. If I gave you an elephant where would you hide it? Beats me. Carport?
3. Finish this sentence: Tomorrow I absolutely refuse to…. …go more than two hours without masturbating. My mom is heading home after a week, and as much as I love her, she is as much of an impediment to my rigorous masturbation schedule as my daughter is. Therefore, once she’s out the door I am going to double-bolt it, put my phone on silent, give my kid a few books to read and scribble in, lock myself in my bedroom, and read some hot blogs, probably while watching porn.
4. What is the longest period of time that you’ve gone without a shower? I went quite a few years without taking a shower when I was a little kid and only took baths. My longest period between showers, however, is far shorter.
5. What is the silliest prank you ever played on someone? While drinking in a bar with some members of Jill’s family, I noticed a friend of mine, a uniformed cop, standing outside. I snuck out of the bar and had him cuff me and stage a fake arrest. Classic Jack.
Bonus: What is the best piece of gossip that you heard recently? I’m not one to engage in gossip, but our sometime third is dating the ex-husband of a friend of ours, and the nature of that brief, incredibly dysfunctional marriage has made for some very eye-opening revelations about this friend.
Jill’s Answers
1. If you were a car, which one would you be? What are some of your best features? I will refrain from making the very obvious Hummer joke and go with a sixty-nine Mustang. I love Mustangs, and while the 1969 model year wasn’t my favorite, I certainly love the number sixty-nine. My features would include big headlights, lots of junk in the trunk, and a very comfortable interior.
2. If I gave you an elephant where would you hide it? I can’t imagine hiding an elephant anywhere. I don’t think we have the room. But if we had a bigger house, I would hide an elephant in the master bathroom, right beside the shower. I miss having one of those removable hand-held showerheads that you can masturbate with, and I think the elephant’s trunk would be able to serve this purpose. Does that count as beastiality?
3. Finish this sentence: Tomorrow I absolutely refuse to…. Wear panties.
4. What is the longest period of time that you’ve gone without a shower? When I was a kid I went to Outdoor Ed, which is basically camping in cabins with your fifth grade class. I went three entire days without taking a shower. Luckily we all brought plenty of deodorant. These days when we go camping we choose a location that has showers.
5. What is the silliest prank you ever played on someone? My sister was in the hospital for minor surgery. When she woke up post-operation, we brought in balloons, a pink teddy bear, and a sign congratulating her on the birth of her daughter. She was so loopy from the combination of anesthesia and pain medication that we had her going for a good five minutes or so. She actually asked, “Can I see her?”
Bonus: What is the best piece of gossip that you heard recently? I found out that the F.A.C. – my school’s Faculty Advisory Committee – is meeting behind the principal’s back in order to complain about him and his decision-making. I think they’re conspiring to get him fired. Sorry, it’s not the juiciest piece of gossip imaginable. I wish I had something better to post, something like Jack having a secret illegitimate child with his best friend’s wife. Actually I don’t wish that. That would be horrible.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e. a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
In honor of her birthday this Wednesday, we decided to write a story about a tryst with our friend Jilly Boyd. It hasn’t happened – yet – but it’s something that has been on all three of our minds lately. If you don’t know of Jilly and her blog, you should visit posthaste. Don’t let the fact that she’s but twenty years old and a virgin sway you; her writing talents belie her youth, and her stories are some of the most erotic we’ve come across. In November, she wrote a blog post that we inspired. And yesterday, in response to this story – which wasn’t even completed yet – she wrote a pre-emptive response to our story about the yet-to-occur tryst and posted it to her blog. Although Jilly’s take on the fun is hotter than ours could ever possibly be, we humbly present an alternate take on our eventual first meeting.
The first night of our visit, we meet you at a nearby pub for drinks and conversation. We find the place packed with drinkers and pick-up artists, but luck is on our side and we manage to snag a small table in a quiet corner away from the bar itself. There we sit and talk excitedly for awhile before you and Jill send me to fetch refreshments. After wading through the thicket of humanity on the way to the bar I order our drinks and return to the table with your Pinot Noir, Jill’s vodka cranberry, and my straight whisky.
I settle into an empty chair and join the conversation between you and Jill. It seems you and she aren’t wasting time with the usual mindless boring getting-to-know-you chit-chat, as we already know each other very well. We are familiar with your personal life, as are you with ours. We’ve already compared likes and dislikes, we know each other’s hopes and dreams, and we’ve even seen each other naked. So I’d say that we know each other quite well, and I presume that it’s for this reason that you and Jill have skipped past the general pleasantries and are now discoursing about sex. But you aren’t discussing the length and breadth of your sexual experience, nor your fantasies, nor even which of your vibrators is the most reliable when you are looking to get off in a hurry. We know all of that already. Instead, you and Jill are planning a course of action for once we leave the bar.
“We can walk back to our hotel,” Jill is saying. “It isn’t very far from here. If you want, you can stay the night.” You indicate enthusiastically that you like this idea, and from there the conversation gets quite explicit, with the three of us brainstorming possibilities for once the clothing is doffed. Jill mentions her and I kissing every inch of your body. You mention sharing hungry kisses with Jill while I take turns fucking both of you. I mention both your mouth and Jill’s simultaneously driving me to the most exquisite orgasm imaginable. All three ideas sound wonderful, and with a week of excitement and fun ahead of us we are aroused to consider what else may be in store.
After three rounds we find ourselves walking the crowded streets of West End. We are so horny that we barely notice the chill in the air. As we cross Leicester Square the cinemagoers’ heads turn at the sight of my two beautiful companions, each undoubtedly wishing they were tagging along on our night of debauchery. After a brisk twenty-minute hike we arrive at our hotel and take the elevator – sorry, it’s a lift, isn’t it? – up to our floor. Walking down the hall I wonder if my heartbeat is audible to either you or Jill; it certainly sounds deafening in my own ears. I’m surely not the only one whose heart is booming, thundering even, in advance of the adventures that await on the other side of our hotel room door.
We enter the room, dark save for a small desk lamp that casts a faint, romantic glow. Jill sets her coat and her purse down on a comfortable armchair, and you do the same. Beaming with anticipation, you linger beside the super king bed, obviously unsure how to get things started, and that’s when Jill and I move to flank you, one on either side. As we take turns kissing you passionately, our hands explore. Seeking warmth, mine make thier way into your weater, finding full, delicious breasts within. At the same time, Jill’s hand sneaks into the waistband of your skirt. There she finds your pussy very wet and in need of attention. As my fingers tease and prod your nipples, Jill grazes your clit. You continue turning your head from side to side, your mouth yielding to each of ours in turn. Finally I make my way from your lips to the back of your neck, savoring the taste of your flesh on my tongue as Jill continues to pleasure you.
Eventually you stop us just long enough to remove your clothes and discard them on the floor. We behold and admire your nakedness even as you are helping us to remove our own clothing. Then, after gently setting you down on the bed and joining you on either side, we resume kissing you as before. This time, without the hindrance of our clothing to impede us, Jill moves away from your mouth, and I away from your neck. I find my way to those full, delicious breasts I’d earlier felt, and as my lips close around a firm, excited nipple you exhale joyfully. Meanwhile my wife’s lips leave a trail down your delicate throat, along your shoulders and over your hips. As she kisses and laps at your soft, warm thighs I am moving from one nipple to the other, raising each to hard, pointy peaks.
When you reach down to grip Jill’s locks of chestnut hair, I realize that she has settled in between your thighs, drinking from the well of sweetness. I’m excited, and I want to watch her tongue work its magic but the sounds you’re making tell me that I mustn’t vary my rhythm even slightly, much less stop what I’m doing long enough to turn my head. So I keep plugging along, caressing your aching, pleading nipples between my lips as Jill puts first one, then two and then finally three fingers inside you. I can tell when she finds your G-spot, because the sounds you make are clearly not sounds you expected her to get out of you. I know that you’re nearing climax – G-spot stimulation frequently means it’s usually right around the corner, at least in my experience – and I take my lips off of your nipples and quickly move them to your mouth. We enjoy a long, slow kiss, one interrupted only by the fire of your orgasm. Your moans are erotic in their confidence, and it’s only when I hear Jill enjoying a very noisy climax that I understand she was getting herself off as she was getting you off.
When Jill comes up for air her face is shiny with your wetness. She heads straight for your mouth, letting you taste yourself on her lips. As she lies across your body your tongues dance together and it occurs to me that if I don’t do anything about the tremendous, throbbing erection I’m sporting, the lack of blood flow to my brain is going to cause permanent damage. I move around to the foot of the bed and position myself behind Jill, stroking my cock against her dewy lips before plunging within. Your kisses become deeper, more ferocious as I drive into her, and my fingers press into her hips with enough force to turn her flesh white. Then, without warning, I withdraw and quickly enter you, burying myself in your depths as far as I can go. I give you the same few thrusts Jill received earlier, and then I’m back inside of her. As the process continues I realize that you are diddling Jill’s clit, and she is doing the same to yours.
Your breathing quickens as I switch from your available, dripping-wet orifice to Jill’s and, not wanting to cum until both you and my wife have gotten yours, I slow my rhythm. Now my movements are slower, more deliberate and sensual, as are the salacious sounds coming from you and Jill. As I slip into you again, I feel Jill’s fingers working you toward another climax, and the urge to go for my own is almost overwhelming. But I mind my pace and it isn’t long before my patience is rewarded. As your pussy clenches around my cock you announce your climax in between desperate, shallow breaths. Your breaths become moans, When you are once again relaxed you kiss Jill deeply, luxuriating in the feel of her hands travelling your body. Then I slip inside of her to enjoy her own climax which – thanks to your skilled fingers – isn’t very far off.
You and Jill lie entwined for a moment, a sweaty tangle of limbs still very much at play. Standing beside the bed, I’m content to watch for awhile, letting my arousal build. But the two of you have other ideas. “It’s your turn,” Jill says, and gets on her hands and knees to take my cock into her mouth. As she does you scramble into the same position, vying for a taste. I place my left hand in Jill’s hair and my right in yours, guiding your efforts.
Your two tongues and four lips provoke me as the sight of your bodies and the thoughts of sounds, smells and tastes still fresh in my mind propel me rapidly to my own sexual crescendo. All at once my knees buckle and my grip tightens in your hair as I finally explode, an audible gasp escaping not only your lips but Jill’s as well. A warm, hungry mouth swallows my cock to its base; I can’t tell whose it is, but soon I feel another attentive pair of lips and an energetic tongue kissing and licking me clean. The jolts of pleasure coursing through my brain grow more intense, almost unbearable, and when they subside I look down to see Jill licking a spot of cum off of your lovely cheek.
Spent at long last, the three of us collapse on the bed, hoping for a few hours’ sleep. After a moment, your voice cuts through the post-coital silence: “So what do you guys want to do tomorrow?”
Today we ripped off a blogger and blog claled BlueLifeMemories. It’s long so we will do it in two parts. She states she stole it from a friend, but did not say which friend. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other players’ posts. It’s a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!
Cheers to all of us thieves!
Jack’s Answers
1) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? I don’t have the exact wording figured out, but it would be a sales pitch for my company.
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? My instinct was to say that there are a lot of sexy blogging friends we’ve made, many of whom I would love to be able to board a plane and go visit, hopefully for the purpose of mind-blowing, no-strings-attached sex. And this is completely true, but I’m going to mention Rachel Rey specifically, because she mentioned me as her #2 answer, and although as I said before, there are a lot of bloggers I’d enjoy meeting, she’s the only one that I’m certain wouldn’t file a restraining order if I came to visit. I should point out that I normally don’t read other bloggers’ TMI Tuesday or Sunday Stealing answers until my own are completed, but Jill happened to read Rachel’s before I was finished, and it was she who brought her answer to my attention.
3) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
I’d fly to Dublin, Ireland, as it’s quite possibly the most festive city on the face of the earth, and Jill and I would live there if it was feasible. It’s probably cheaper, and we’d somehow probably enjoy it more than we do our current city. (The Guinness is certainly better.) But for various reasons it’s not feasible. So we’d fly to Dublin, and when Jill and I were done partying it up there, we’d travel around Europe, notably to the UK where we’d visit Tame and Yummy, and then stop in Belgium to visit Jilly Boyd, although if she’s living in London by then even better.
4) What do you think about most?
I’m not even going to answer this one. If you don’t know by now, there is no hope of you ever figuring it out.
5) You have the opportunity to spend a romantic night with the music celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
I’d rather not do romance with a music celebrity. I’ll gladly do the rose-petals-and-candle-light thing for my wife, because she’s earned it. But with some well-known female musician who probably views me as a notch in her bedpost and doesn’t want romance any more than I do, I’d like to cut right to the chase, please. I would choose Liz Phair, preferably in her Girly-Sound days or, at the latest, circa Whitechocolatespaceegg in the late ’90s. That’s not to say that I don’t still find her appealing and sexy.
6) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
I can think of a few horrible experiences I’ve had: Legal drama, bad relationships, health scares. And I don’t think I would erase any of them. The things I’ve experienced, both good and bad, have made me the person that I am. Given what I know of chaos theory and the so-called butterfly effect, I would hate to think that my decision to erase the untimely death of my pet goldfish Doctor Bubbles when I was six years old might somehow lead to my not meeting and falling in love with Jill more than twenty years later.
7) What’s your strangest talent?
I can play the oboe with my asshole. Better than I can with my mouth, actually.
8) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
My mother has been staying with Jill and I for the last few days. I have done my best to be social. Well, that’s a lie. I’ve tried, and frequently failed. Look, I love my mom, but she’s very nosy, and everytime she sees me on my laptop, she asks – in her usual cheery but way too interrogative way – what I’m doing. A truthful answer to her question would be, “I’m writing something for our blog, mom. Jill and I have a sex blog in which we talk about our sex life in graphic detail, sometimes including pictures.” I’d love to be able to answer honestly, if only so that she would never ask again.
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
I’ve exchanged poetic tweets with Rachel Rey, but before that, nothing. Most of the women I’ve dated haven’t seen fit to wow me with poetry, flowers, or other mushy stuff.
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
If I’ve ever played the air guitar, I was probably being ironic. The guitar isn’t something you pretend to play. You either play it, or you don’t.
11) Do you have any strange phobias?
I don’t think any of my phobias are strange. One of my biggest fears is being slowly crushed to death beneath a giant Dagwood sandwich while hundreds of anthropomorphic pickle monsters eat my flesh. But that one is pretty common.
12) What’s your religion?
I was raised Catholic, but I don’t really have much use for organized religion these days. I don’t begrudge anyone their beliefs, but a man-made belief system doesn’t really work for me.
13) What is your current desktop picture?
I currently have a blank, black image as my desktop wallpaper. There was a time when I used to collect wallpapers, and shuffle them with great frequency. One week I’d have a favorite movie poster as my background. The next week it might be an aerial photograph of San Francisco. The next, a piece of quirky, pop-culture-related digital art. It was kind of like getting a tattoo, albeit without the commitment. These days, I don’t bother with any of that as I tend to keep my desktop cluttered with files and a plain black background makes it easier to see them all.
14) When you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Enjoying sunny weather with my daughter, likely while taking her for a walk to one of the parks in our neighborhood. I’m very fortunate that we’ve still got temperatures in the seventies because, weather allowing, a long walk, lunch, and playtime at the park is a twice-weekly tradition for us.
15) What’s the last song you listened to?
Can’t remember. Probably some infernal kids’ music. Let me see what’s on my mp3 player. Okay, back. The last song I listened to was “For My Next Trick I’ll Need a Volunteer” by Warren Zevon.
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
The Red Hot Chili Peppers. I’ve loved these guys for years, and I try to see them every time they tour.
17) What was the last lie you told?
The last lie I told was the bit about me doing my best to be social with my mom. Before that, though, I was busily typing on my laptop and my mom asked what I was working on. I told her I was wrapping up my NaNoWriMo writing. I hate lying to her almost as much as I hate her nosiness, but I don’t feel bad because quite frankly, she can’t handle the truth.
18) Do you believe in karma?
Not really. While believing in karma is comforting after some asshole cuts you off on the freeway, or gets away with murder, I don’t believe that there is any real order to the universe. It seems like the worst people get treated the best, and the decent people struggle to get ahead and usually fail. Then again, perhaps that is the order to the universe.
19) What is a saying you say a lot?
I wish I had something to say here, either smart-assed or sincere. But I can’t think of anything for this one. In years past I might list some hackneyed movie quote here, some overused Saturday Night Live catchphrase. I got nothing. Actually, when I’m at a loss, I frequently say “I got nothing.”
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
I’m a sucker for a beautiful woman. Scratch that. I’m going with bullets. Like Lola did to Clapton, a beautiful woman can have me on my knees in seconds, but I usually get up again. A hail of bullets, though, will kill me dead in seconds. I’m afraid I’m not Superman. As for my greatest strength, I would say that I am an emotionally-faithful husband, loyal friend, and loving father. I would say that, but the urge to go with my sexual prowess instead is far too great.
21) Who is your celebrity crush?
I’m so out of touch that while I can name celebrities my ability to put a name to a face isn’t what it once was, and now that I mention it I don’t usually crush over celebrities. It’s just not my way. In the past I admired plenty of female celebrities, and sure I’d probably bang any of the current crop of Hollywood starlets given the chance. But that’s not the same as a crush; I’m more likely to have a crush on someone I know personally as the public image of a celebrity isn’t quite enough to get me to “crush” mode. You know what? I’m going to pick Jessica Simpson, if only because she’s “trending now” on Yahoo!, and I’d like nothing more than to finish this question so I can move on to the next one.
22) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.
Those awful, chalky Valentine’s Day hearts with the cutesy phrases on them. Oh wait – I mean Jill.
23) How do you vent your anger?
Writing. Masturbation. The occasional violent video game.
24) Do you have a collection of anything?
I collect books on film, including screenplays, memoirs, rare books on film production, criticism, study and analysis, and the like; and I collect some film and pop culture memorabilia.
25) What is your favorite word?
Fuck. Nothing else comes close.
Apologies for the appalling misspellings found in the above video.
Jill’s Answers
1) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
Follow your dreams and live life to the fullest. Live and act on your own terms and don’t work to meet the expectations of society, or any other person. Don’t be something you’re not.
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
Definitely the many sexy new friends we’ve met while blogging and tweeting! I couldn’t pick just one!
3) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Ireland. I would start in Dublin, and then visit the Ring of Kerry, Cork and Blarney. I would travel throughout Europe, including Italy and Greece. I would also be sure to visit friends in Belgium and the UK.
4) What do you think about most?
Sex. Masturbating. Fucking. Cocksucking. Pussy licking. Anal sex. (At this point as I read my answer to Jack, he asks if I have Tourette’s Syndrome.) Sex in hot tubs. Sex in pools. Sex on airplanes.
5) You have the opportunity to spend a romantic night with the music celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
I was originally going to say Shane McGowan. I’ve been a fan of The Pogues for years, and I absolutely love his voice. Jack laughed at my choice, and it occurred to me that I had no idea what Shane McGowan looks like. In fact, I couldn’t even remember his name, even though I’ll never forget his voice. I asked Jack what was so funny, and he said he didn’t think that Shane McGowan was my type. I asked, “Well, does he have all of his teeth?” because this is a rudimentary requirement of mine when it comes to fantasizing about someone. Then Jack looked up a picture of him on his phone.
Thanks for killing my fantasy, Jack. So I’m just going to go with Billy Joel. He was my favorite singer when I was growing up.
6) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? The tragic, untimely death of a beloved family member is the most horrible thing I have ever gone through. If I had to choose something from my past that I could erase or undo, it would be this.
7) What’s your strangest talent? I can roll my tongue, and flip it over sideways. It’s a fun trick, and it comes in handy during blowjobs.
8) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? “Did you have sex in your storage unit?” That’s actually not true. We had no problem telling everyone on Twitter about it. But if someone from the storage facility asked us, we’d probably lie. Then when they showed us the security camera footage, we would ask for a copy.
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
Yes. On my birthday, Jack always writes me a sonnet. Also, and he’ll probably kill me for writing this, when we were first dating he sang me the most beautiful and touching song about my pussy.
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
Um, yeah. I don’t do that.
11) Do you have any strange phobias?
I’m afraid of heights, but not always. In fact I love having sex on balconies or in front of high windows. So that’s probably not really a phobia. I don’t like snakes, and am in fact afraid of them, but I don’t think that’s something strange. I think all of my phobias are pretty normal.
12) What’s your religion?
I was baptised Catholic, but I am pretty selective about which tenets I believe.
13) What is your current desktop picture?
The default one. My laptop has Windows 7 Starter Edition, which doesn’t allow customization. If it did, I would use a picture of my adorable daughter, whose beautiful smile is contagious and can brighten even the hardest day.
14) When you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Hopefully something fun with my husband and the baby, but I’m probably doing yard duty at school.
15) What’s the last song you listened to?
“I’ll Be Home For Christmas” was the last song that played on the radio.
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
I love the Beach Boys. Being from California, their music has always appealed to me, and makes me think of summer, surfing, and the beach.
17) What was the last lie you told?
“No, we didn’t have sex in the storage unit.”
18) Do you believe in karma?
Yes. I feel like if you do something bad, something is going to – or at least should – bite you in the ass. If you do something good, you should be rewarded. I guess it really doesn’t work out that way most of the time. My own sense of right and wrong and the belief that you should treat others how you want to be treated, more than karma, makes me a caring, decent person.
19) What is a saying you say a lot?
“Keep your hands to yourself!” I need to point out that I am a teacher, and I only say this to my students.
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
My greatest weakness is probably that I put everyone ahead of me. Maybe it comes from being the second-eldest of a very large family, but I find that I am used to taking on a lot of responsibility, and sometimes “me” time suffers because of it. I am trying to change this. My greatest strength is my conscientiousness. I have a standard for every task I undertake and I am very serious about accomplishing it to that standard. I would also like to think that I am a very good mother.
21) Who is your celebrity crush?
Mark Ruffalo. I like his intensity, I think he’s got a nice body, and he’s got the combination of dark hair and dark eyes that I really find sexy on a man. I am probably the only person in the world who was happy that he replaced Edward Norton as Bruce Banner in The Avengers.
22) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.
My husband and my baby. They have both captured my heart, and I can’t imagine life without them.
23) How do you vent your anger?
I scream. I cry. I punch people in the eye. Actually, I don’t punch anybody. I just wanted to rhyme. And I only scream if I’m alone in the car and there’s no chance of anyone knocking on the window and asking what my problem is.
24) Do you have a collection of anything?
I have a bunch of Tinkerbell stuff that Jack has gotten me. I’ve always liked the character.
25) What is your favorite word?
I like “luscious”. I like the way it sounds, I like what it means, and I love the fact that it can be used to refer to so many things, from food to a person’s lips (or other parts). Just saying “luscious” is luscious.
We’ve been submitting pictures to The Other HNT since early 2009, thanks in part to our friends Vincent Vega and Mia Wallace. At a time when we were looking to admire Mia’s lovely curves, they informed us of the site and their pictures there. Our participation was sporadic at first and, expecting a baby, we disappeared from OHNT completely during the last few months of the year. In December 2009, however, we found ourselves fooling around on a bed with a mirrored canopy. We snapped a few pictures of our fun and, pleased with the results, we decided to get back into the OHNT game.
“Reflections”, posted January 7, 2010
For the next fifty-two weeks we would send in a picture every Tuesday or Wednesday for inclusion in that week’s roundup at The Other HNT. Even when our own blogging efforts petered out, we continued to submit pictures, as in 2008 we’d seen someone proudly proclaim their successful completion of a year’s worth of submissions, and we wanted to do the same.
In 2011, we decided to take a short break from submitting pictures. Real life coupled by the fact that we weren’t blogging anymore – not to mention memories of the stress of taking and selecting the perfect picture – kept us away until August. Once again, it was Mia Wallace who lured us back. Our first submission was posted the first week of August, and we haven’t missed a Thursday since.
Unfortunately, Osbasso has announced that The Other HNT will be shutting its doors after more than five and a half years of giving bloggers a chance to strut their stuff anonymously. We’re not sure whether the site will remain up or be taken down completely, but we have decided to memorialize our OHNT submissions here on our blog, along with the many loving comments from our fellow bloggers/pervs. We’ll be posting one picture a week starting with our 2010 submissions, and then this time next year we’ll move on to our earlier stuff, or maybe our later stuff. You will be able to find our OHNT pictures here. They’re all grouped on a single page, and not as individual posts, so feel free to comment but be sure to let us know which picture or pictures you’re commenting on.
Although there are just four more weeks of The Other HNT, it’s not too late to get in on the action. For details, and to read about the themes proposed for the last three weeks, check out Osbasso’s blog.
I intended to put a much sexier picture here. Time constraints and all.
Our footsteps echo down the cold metal walls of a still, silent corridor. I push the cart as you fish through your purse for the key. You stop me at unit 327, and continue to dig through your purse before finding the key at the bottom. With one twist of the key you unlock the unit, removing the padlock and putting it and the key in your purse. I reach down and roll up the large metal door, and you step aside as I pull the cart into the unit. So far, there aren’t many items inside: A floor lamp with a cheap plastic shade, several boxes of ceramic floor tiles, three see-through plastic tubs filled with old clothes, and a dozen cardboard boxes, most containing household items. Everything is on one side of the unit.
I take five minutes to unload the cart and place the new boxes in neat, steady stacks. The stacks stand four boxes high, and don’t wobble at all. We’ve still got another three or four trips to make, but we have plenty of time. I’m thinking we can get the whole thing finished by tomorrow at the latest. In fact, we’ve got so much time that before we go back for another load, I think it would be best to spare half an hour for the betterment of our sex life.
“Come in,” I tell you. You take a tentative step forward, a cautious and inquisitive look on your face. You’re not sure why I’m beckoning you inside rather than joining you outside. Then I give you that look, put my hands on your wrist and pull me close to you. We meet in a steamy, passionate kiss that threatens to fog up the corrugated metal walls of the unit. As our tongues meet, you feel my hands snaking down your waist and over your hips before nestling between your legs. Yours are on a similar path, and as I feel your hands working on my belt buckle, we hear footsteps in the corridor outside. We stop.
“We should go and get some more boxes,” you say. I move to the doorway but instead of exiting I reach up and pull the door down to the ground, closing us in. Darkness envelops us. I wasn’t expecting it to be so dark in here. Some light from the corridor encroaches through the top of the unit, and I can make out the edges of the boxes, but just faintly. I can see you as well, but just barely. Briefly I envision stumbling into the stacks of boxes I’ve just constructed, knocking them over and getting crushed. I don’t envision this very long, though, as your hands are once again on my belt buckle. This time you move quickly, and by the time I realize that my pants are down, you’ve already swallowed my cock to the base. I feel the head reach the back of your throat and as soon as you come up for air you plunge down to the base again and repeat the process.
I’m throbbing, and the sound of my heartbeat echoes like thunder through the darkness in much the same way that a blind person may develop heightened hearing. Finally you stop and take your mouth off of me. I hear you licking your palms, and then you grip me with both hands, stroking me over and over into your mouth. The feel of your lips and tongue working their magic is too much. Five more seconds and I’ll cum all over your face. It wouldn’t be a problem, of course; we both know that my first orgasm is just an appetizer anyway. But I want to take care of you first. I pull you to your feet and reach down to undo your jeans, but bare skin meets my touch. I caress your legs and your ass, delighted to find that you’ve already stripped out of them.
My hand finds your pussy in the dark, fingers parting your lovely moist lips as my thumb moves to cradle your clit. But your hand stops me: “This is for you,” you say, pulling me by the wrist. In the dark you move us into the empty corner of the unit and place my hands on your hips. You back up into my still-throbbing hardness, and as I thrust I hold your hair, pulling you onto me exactly as I know you like it. Our sexual sounds bounce off the metal walls, and as we move in unison I feel my arousal climbing. When I know I’m close I somehow manage to whisper “I’m cumming,” between shallow, ragged breaths. I repeat it twice more, just to make sure you know that your efforts are about to pay off.
Quickly you pull away from me, and then I feel your mouth encircle my cock, sucking deeply and swallowing greedily as my orgasm overtakes me. You make hungry sounds of satisfaction as you receive your reward, and as I struggle to catch my breath I feel your tongue licking me clean, savoring every last drop.
We head home then, to load the car with as many boxes as it can carry. But before we do that, it’s your turn.
Today is World AIDS Day. Whether you are aware of it or not, somebody you know has seen their life changed as a result of HIV and AIDS.
The purpose of World AIDS Day is to spread awareness of AIDS. The disease, which compromises the human immune system and renders sufferers vulnerable to illnesses that would not otherwise be able to cause significant harm, was first recognized by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 1981. With a death toll of more than 25 million over three decades, and an estimated 33.2 million people worldwide living with HIV as of 2007, you would think that spreading awareness was no longer necessary.
Unfortunately, nothing could be further from the truth. Much more is currently known about HIV and AIDS than was known even a decade ago. Many scientific advancements have been made with regard to medical treatment of HIV. Discrimination against those suffering from HIV and AIDS is widely prohibited. Yet much of the public is still unaware of how HIV spreads, as well as how to protect themselves from transmission of the disease. World AIDS Day exists in part to educate the public, and in doing so, to help people protect themselves.
As stated above, progress has been made in treating HIV and AIDS, and in improving the quality of life of those suffering. This does not mean that the disease is in any way less dangerous than it was in the past. It is for this reason that World AIDS Day is perhaps more important today than it was upon its inception. But raising awareness about HIV and AIDS isn’t something that can be confined to a single day each year. It is vital that we as a society understand the risks, know how to protect ourselves, and treat those afflicted with respect.
For more information, please visit the World AIDS Day home page.
I don’t usually go commando when I’m wearing jeans, but I think it makes for a sexy picture.
Be sure to visit Osbasso and see who else HNTed this week. Then stop by OHNT and see a different angle of the same shot. And then let me know which one you like better!
Lately I seem to be developing a reputation as a blog pimp. Despite the exploitative overtones, it’s a label I wear with pride, as nothing makes me happier than spreading the word about worthwhile blogs. This week’s Sunday Stealing post included quite a few plugs for blogs we enjoy reading. We are only too happy to promote a worthwhile blog either here or on Twitter, as we know from firsthand experience just how difficult it can be to raise awareness of a blog. Which brings me to today’s order of business. Jill and I are very pleased to welcome Vincent Vega and Mia Wallace to the ranks of the sex bloggers!
Vincent and Mia can be found at their blog, Tales From Under Our Covers. Though a fairly new endeavor, with only three entries at the time of this writing, they are far from novices, having maintained a previous, defunct sex blog for a couple years before we knew them. In fact, as I’m sure we have stated, they were the inspiration for this blog (for whatever that’s worth to you); they were also our first regular followers, and two of a very small handful of real-life friends who know about this blog. Therefore we trust Vincent and Mia implicitly, and because of that trust we are confident recommending that you check out their blog posthaste.
I’m not just talking out of my ass here; Vincent and Mia are sexy people. To drive the point home, Jill has sex dreams about Mia with such regularity that I once suggested she document them as a monthly feature of the blog. And if you’ve ever seen any of the HNT pictures they’ve submitted to The Other HNT, then you’re aware of just how erotic the combination of a gorgeous woman and a talented photographer can be.
While we’re on the subject of HNT, not only did Vincent and Mia inspire us to start this blog, they also told us about the concept of Half-Nekkid Thursday, and the aforementioned OHNT. Were it not for them, there’s a good chance that none of you would ever have seen Jill’s ass.
This week’s TMI Tuesday theme is a culmination of weird, funny, and odd questions I have heard over the last month. They were crazy enough so I though they’d be perfect for TMI Tuesday.
Jack’s Answers
1. Finish this thought: Nerds make me ____ ? (idea from PocketRockettz) Hot, but only the female ones. There isn’t a sub-category of the female gender that doesn’t make me hot, really. For the record, though, I prefer geeky chicks to nerdy ones, and yes there’s a difference. Come on, ladies: Wow me with your World of Warcraft expertise and your ability to recite verbatim a variety of Monty Python sketches. Tell me which is your favorite incarnation of Doctor Who. Show me your prop tricorder and your Force FX lightsaber, or your Hattori Hanzō sword. (It’s getting hot in here!)
2. If you were in a beauty pageant, which would be your ticket to the tiara? (heard on the Newlywed Game) a. Talent b. Interview c. Swimsuit d. Evening wear (i.e., gown, tuxedo) I’m inclined to say the interview, as I’m eloquent and erudite, and I always know how to make a first impression. When I was a teenager and early-twentysomething I found it very easy to schmooze the parents of my dates, and convince them that I was harmless and in no way interested in sex. On the other hand, evening wear is also an area in which I shine, as I fill a tuxedo as though it were a second skin. I am frequently a groomsman at my friends’ and relatives’ weddings not because I’m particularly well-liked, but because the brides-to-be insist that I be included if only so they’ll get to stare at me in my tux all day. (Though flattering, this is often an enormous pain in the ass.) On the other hand, “talent” encapsulates a vast area, and while I am a talented cook, accomplished writer, etc., it is my sexual talents that I believe would win me the tiara, which I would of course give to Jill as it would probably match nothing that I own.
3. On your body what is eye candy and what is an eyesore? My face is eye candy, especially my eyes. I’m probably not the hottest guy in the blogosphere – though I’ll wager that I’m up there – but I have a handsome face, and the combination of my eyes and my smile got me thoroughly laid in my single days. I’m not sure that anything about me could be considered an eyesore, really; but I could stand to lose a few pounds.
4. Your penis is starring in a gritty crime drama? Which part would it play? a. Straight laced detective b. Hooded criminal c. Crooked cop My penis is neither crooked nor hooded. It’s very straight, so I would be inclined to go with the straight laced detective character. However, “straight laced detective” isn’t descriptive enough. My penis would play the straight-laced, always-hard-working, red-faced, crew-neck-wearing detective who is prone to throwing up after too much exertion.
5. Would you rather? (as heard on the Graham Norton Show) a. Eat dog food for every meal for a year or b. Get shot in the knee If I had to choose one or the other I would probably go with the dog food thing. While I presume that the knee would heal, I doubt it would do so completely, and even if it did the kneecap is one of the most painful places to get shot. I’m pretty strong and resilient, but I don’t see myself choosing to experience debilitating pain. The dog food, on the other hand, would be disgusting, and given my love of food it would be difficult to forego all of the delicious things I eat regularly for cans of wet Alpo. But it’s only for a year, and I imagine the weight loss would do me good.
6. If you crapped yourself at work what would you do? (This was a poll taken at a blues bar…seriously) a. Go commando b. Do nothing c. Turn ‘em inside out d. Wash in employee sink I’m going to go off the board here and opt for the nonexistent “e”: Leave work. I’m guessing that if I shat myself at work I’m probably in dire straits physically; it’s not something I do when everything is fine, health-wise. There is probably something awful brewing in my small intestine, necessitating my going home for the rest of the day, or at the absolute least long enough to grab a clean pair of underwear and some Immodium.
Jill’s Answers
1. Finish this thought: Nerds make me ____ ? (idea from PocketRockettz) Horny, as long as they’re not too socially awkward. I always think of the quote from Revenge of the Nerds about how jocks only think about sports, and nerds only think about sex. I really like a cute guy in glasses, and when I first met Jack I was overjoyed to learn that he sometimes wears glasses.
2. If you were in a beauty pageant, which would be your ticket to the tiara? (heard on the Newlywed Game) a. Talent b. Interview c. Swimsuit d. Evening wear (i.e., gown, tuxedo) Definitely talent. I look great in an evening gown, but I’m sure my talent for oral sex would win me the tiara.
3. On your body what is eye candy and what is an eyesore? I love my hair. It’s long and lush and it holds curls well. Plus it makes nice reins during doggy style. I also have gorgeous eyes that are brown on the inside with a ring of green and flecks of gold. They are usually the first thing people notice about me. When we bought our car a few weeks ago, the saleswoman said she was taken by my eyes and wanted to show us cars all day so that she could stare at my eyes the whole time. As for the eyesore, I injured my toe a couple weeks ago and the nail turned black. Unpolished, it’s pretty scary to look at.
4. Your penis is starring in a gritty crime drama? Which part would it play? a. Straight laced detective b. Hooded criminal c. Crooked cop I don’t have a penis. My pussy would portray the hooker with a heart of gold.
5. Would you rather? (as heard on the Graham Norton Show) a. Eat dog food for every meal for a year or b. Get shot in the knee I’ll go with the dog food. When I was a kid my older brother and I dared each other to try the flavored Milk Bone dog treats. They weren’t too bad. Can I go with those or does it have to be actual dog food?
6. If you crapped yourself at work what would you do? (This was a poll taken at a blues bar…seriously) a. Go commando b. Do nothing c. Turn ‘em inside out d. Wash in employee sink If I crapped my pants, I’m washing my panties in the sink, then tossing them and going commando. I would probably blame the smell on one of my students.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
