As stated in our blog entry posted Wednesday, today is International Fisting Day. For those of you unfamiliar with the practice, Wikipedia defines fisting as “a sexual activity that involves inserting a hand into the vagina or rectum.” It sounds pretty straightforward, but there is nothing simple about fisting. It is potentially one of the most enjoyable experiences in the entire sexual spectrum, combining a deep, frequently emotional, connection between the fister and the fistee with an often face-to-face intimacy and an intensity that we have found to be all but unmatched elsewhere in our sexual repertoire.
Fisting is also one of the most misunderstood sex acts; witness, in Kevin Smith’s 1997 film Chasing Amy, Ben Affleck’s wide-eyed overacting – sorry, incredulity – when told by Joey Lauren Adams’ character that she enjoys it on occasion. I suppose that the fact that the film was released and is set almost fifteen years ago is partially to blame for the urban legend-like mystique with which Affleck’s character seems to view fisting; today his general ignorance seems outdated, even quaint.
The fact that the depiction of fisting in pornography is extremely rare may be responsible for the mythic status that continues to surround it. As stated in the article we shared on Wednesday, fisting was included in a 2001 document known as the Cambria List, which was created as a direct response to the election of George W. Bush, and which circulated through the adult film industry listing sex acts – as well as specific camera shots – that were best omitted from pornography in order to avoid obscenity lawsuits or prosecutions. Though the list is vague – two different sex acts are deemed “OK if shot is not nasty”, whatever in hell that means – it is clear that the industry was seeking to guard itself against a crackdown in George W. Bush’s ultraconservative America.
In addition to fisting, the Cambria List made verboten such themes or shots as interracial sex, BDSM, bisexuality, transsexuals, squirting, and “two dicks in/near one mouth”. Though I am far from an adult industry insider, it seems that the government’s crusade against obscenity was in actuality a crusade against LGBT performers, women in general, and any other sort of pornography that defied traditional values (as misplaced as that phrase seems to be in a discussion of adult entertainment). While you may be shocked by this blatant attack on the sexual freedoms of consenting adults everywhere – ironic, considering the way the Bush administration used the concept of freedom to justify the War on Terror – it’s important to remember that this is the same nation that collectively shat itself at the sight of Janet Jackson’s nipple during Super Bowl XXXVIII.
In the last few years the adult industry has relaxed its self-imposed ban on most of the items on the Cambria List, but in mainstream pornography at least, fisting is still unheard of. That such an erotic, exhilarating act remains taboo is both perplexing and disappointing, especially in light of the fact that other acts – spitting, for example – are more widely accepted and in fact seem to be growing in popularity. Nothing against anyone who has successfully managed to incorporate spitting into a healthy, committed relationship, but we don’t find your particular kink appealing. At the risk of making a blanket statement without any real evidence, I suspect that the prominence of spitting in mainstream pornography – as well as the scarcity of fisting – is due to the fact that most commercially-avaiable porn is marketed toward men as opposed to women or couples.
I was the first person to fist Jill. She was not the first person I ever fisted. Prior to meeting her, I’d had some experience with ex-girlfriends, though I only inserted my hand to the base of my thumb. As I was under the impression that, in order for the act to qualify as fisting I needed to be wrist-deep, I was always hesitant to identify what I was doing as such. However, according to porn star and fisting advocate Courtney Trouble in the San Francisco Bay Guardian article we reposted on Wednesday, the wrist is not the minimum requirement; as long as four fingers and a thumb are inserted past the knuckles, fisting has taken place.
The first time Jill and I experienced fisting together, our relationship was still fairly new. I was stimulating Jill’s clit with my thumb while stroking the anterior wall of her pussy with my index and middle fingers. When I found her G-spot, she asked me to insert another finger, and then another. Without varying my rhythm, I moved my thumb off of her clit, and replaced it with my other hand. As I softly strummed my fingers against her clit, I withdrew my fingers from inside her – much to her dismay – and put my hand into a position sometimes colloquially referred to as “duck bill”.
Thanks to Jill’s advanced state of arousal she accepted my compactly-arranged fingers and thumb without resistance, and after a few minutes of what she later told me was the most emotionally-intense sexual experience she’d ever had (something with which I am inclined to agree), she indicated that she was very close to orgasm. I continued to massage her G-spot, by now lapping steadily, hungrily, at her clit with my tongue. As her orgasm built, the moans she uttered were unlike any I’d heard before. Likewise, to say that she squirted upon reaching her climax would be an understatement. When her orgasm had passed, she lay there, panting as the waves of euphoria slowly receded. We held each other for almost an hour, not kissing, not speaking, not even touching beyond our mutual embrace. We listened to each other breathing, felt our hearts beating in unison. I had never felt so in sync, physically and emotionally, with another person. Was it then that I knew I would marry Jill? It may have been.
We appreciate the efforts of Courtney Trouble in creating International Fisting Day. With any luck, she will bring attention and understanding to – and in the process remove the unfair taboo from – this most enjoyable sexual act.
