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My Writing Process: A Blog Tour

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Amanda Nicole at Peaches in Missouri asked me to participate in this blogging event; we’ve considered her a friend going back four blogs and more than two years, so I couldn’t refuse.  I was honored that she asked me to participate, doubly so because she is a (pardon the expression) vanilla blogger, and if I had to ventuer a guess I’d say that most of her blogging friends don’t regularly read sex blogs.  So I appreciated her being so willing to introduce us to that segment of the blogging world.  Incidentally the other two bloggers that Amanda Nicole tagged to participate are Kathy from Him & Me (But Mostly Me), and Melissa from Crazy Camp Camacho.  Do yourself a favor and check them out as well!

1.  What am I working on?

Sadly, not as much as I was two years ago.  2012 was our big blogging year, and saw the publication of more than 475 separate posts.  We blogged daily (with the exception of some Saturdays), keeping our finger on the proverbial pulse of the sex blogosphere for writing ideas, and of course posting about our own life experiences as well.  It was easier then; as the stay-at-home parent of a two-year-old child, I found myself with sufficient leisure time to brainstorm and actually write every single day.  Lately I have far less time for blogging; my daughter is older, and demands more of my time with her.  As a result, I find that what little alone time I actually have is better spent decompressing.  In addition, I have a number of non-blog writing projects which occupy my time.  However, despite all of this, I do find that at any given time I have at least a couple in-progress posts awaiting completion.  That I possess a drive to get every post I write as close to perfect as possible may explain why some have gone months without being completed.

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?

Hard to say.  As I am not currently reading as many blogs as I used to – at least not on a regular basis – I’m not exactly sure what the rest of the genre is doing, and for that matter I’m not even sure about the state of the genre itself.  However, at the risk of blatant self-aggrandizement I find my work to be incredibly well-written and polished, with an interesting if not totally unique perspective and often with humor to spare.  Ours may not be the sexiest blog out there (I didn’t say it isn’t, just that it may not be), but I find it pretty damn entertaining.

3.  Why do I write what I do?

From its inception, our blog has always been about giving our sexual selves a voice.  We’ve always found ourselves needing a forum to talk not only about our sexual experiences and as-yet unfulfilled wants and needs, but also sociopolitical issues that concern sexuality, sex-related news stories, and relationship issues including but not limited to non-monogamy.  We have less opportunity than we’d like to actually voice our feelings on these topics with family and friends, so using our blog as a forum for this purpose makes sense.

4.  How does your writing process work?

I tend to be thinking about sex all the time.  Even if it’s not at the forefront of my mind, i.e. when I’m getting my daughter ready for school or disarming a bomb in my official capacity as an Explosive Ordnance Disposal officer, there’s always some sexual thought lurking in the back of my mind.  Therefore ideas for posts are always coming to me.  Additionally, I read a lot, and often come across interesting news stories with a sexual bent.  When such a thing crosses my mind I make a note of it, often with some initial thoughts related thereto.  I tend to spend a few minutes – that is, when I actually have a few minutes – brainstorming and in doing so formulate a rough outline for said post.  Following this I begin to write out what is, for all intents and purposes, my first and only draft of said post.  I tend to type it out in Wordpad as opposed to the Blogger website itself.  (I’m not entirely sure why this is, but it may have to do with the fact that in the early days of our blog we would sometimes find ourselves dealing with an unresponsive browser.  Typing out a post in a word processing application and pasting it into the browser made more sense.)  The entire process takes anywhere from several hours to several days depending on how well-fleshed-out the idea happens to be, the topicality of the subject matter, and my own enthusiasm for it.

Next Monday on the Tour:

Shelby Cross from Shelby Cross, Writer

Donnee Patrese from Beginning My New Life as a Housewife and Erotic Writer

Cat from You Won’t Tame this Sassy Cat

Beck from Beck and Her Kinks

AtiyaLuv from Sincerely Yours

Angel Shrout from Ramblings of a Southern Angel

(Please note, especially if you followed a link from Peaches in Missouri, that the above blogs may be sexual in nature.)

Sinful Sunday: Boxer Briefs

Jack11 Comments
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An impromptu photo snapped in front of the bathroom mirror.  A selfie, in the parlance of our times, though that’s an expression I’m loathe to actually use.  I’m wearing a comfortable pair of boxer briefs that, in my humble estimation, accentuates the shape of my body and my modest-but-in-no-way-lacking physical endowment.  And you know what?  I look pretty good without them too.
Sinful Sunday

TMI Tuesday: April 8, 2014

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For TMI Tuesday this week we delve into the creative collaboration when sex meets art with The Art of Sex.

Jack’s Answers

1. Would you take or have you taken a sexually themed vacation getaway (i.e., Hedonism, Club Fantasy Island, Cap d’Agde)? Why or why not?
We have not yet taken this kind of a vacation, but we definitely would.  In fact, we’d really like to.  A year ago we considered it pretty seriously, going so far as to look into a number of options, but ended up not going.  Why do we want to go?  Because we are equal parts voyeur and exhibitionist, and we enjoy meeting (and hopefully fucking) like-minded individuals.  We find the idea of casting off the shackles of polite society and truly being ourselves in such an environment incredibly exciting.  Why did we ultimately end up not going?  For a number of reasons, including the fact that at the time we were still figuring out our own boundaries.  But mainly because of our own financial limitations.  Unfortunately none of these destinations are right across the street from where we live; in addition to the accommodations themselves, travel fees would also be incurred.  At best it’s the sort of thing we’d have to save up for, and even then it’s a luxury we’re not completely certain we can afford.  Part of parenthood involves extensive debate over whether the money wouldn’t be better spent on our child’s future.

We know a sound investment when we see one.
2. You have won an erotic fantasy weekend getaway package custom fit to your needs. Describe the fantasy you desire.
Ha!  You said package.  I mean, my ideal erotic fantasy weekend would actually last about a month – hey, it’s my fantasy, dammit – and would have to involve on-site round-the-clock babysitting services because there’s no way in hell Jill would agree to leave our daughter behind for a whole month, and it couldn’t  truly be the fantasy I desire without my wife present.  I mean we’re there a month, right?  (Again, it’s my fantasy.)  We’re bound to run into each other at some point.  Anyway, it would all take place at some tropical resort type location, albeit essentially private.  I imagine there would be a beach, with white sand and palm trees.  There would also be a swimming pool with a swim-up bar, and of course a couple hot tubs.  Though our room would have a king-size bed, we’d sleep on the beach.  I don’t know what activities the resort might provide, because there would be a bevy of beautiful women to look after my every need both physical and otherwise (but mainly physical), and I can’t imagine getting the sudden urge to play shuffleboard or go horseback riding if that kind of sexual variety was on offer.  The women would be diverse with regard to ethnicity, body type, and age (all legal, of course).  There would also be a group of men and women tending to my wife and her needs.  At the end of our stay, the resort would offer a re-up for another month free of charge.

3. An artist has decided that you are his/her inspiration. They want to capture the essence of your sexiness in a sculpture. What would that sculpture look like? Describe it for us or post a photo of an existing sculpture that you believe closely captures the essence of your sexiness.
This one seems to sum it up nicely.

4. You are being paid 500,000 USD to pose as a live nude model mimicking one of sculptures in the photo below. Which sculpture will you recreate live? Why?

For half a million bucks, whichever one they’d like.
5. Which book title fits your current thoughts of love, sex or romance?
a. No More Silly Love Songs
b. The Joy of the Quickie
c. Dr. Seth’s Love Prescription
d. Why Do Fools Fall In Love
Definitely b., The Joy of the Quickie.  I suppose at other times in my life I might have opted for d., or even a.  But these days quickies are, if not the usual, definitely common for Jill and I.  Of the four options, b. is the one that best fits our sex life.

Too bad this one wasn’t an option.

Bonus: Which one is you? See the sculpture below. Tell us which position you would like to occupy and write a caption.

I’m most inclined to take the position of the apparently male figure on the right.  (Big shocker there, I know.)  I like having two women at once.  I like to give head.  I like to get head.  While I have done both simultaneously, attempting it in this exact configuration (as opposed to lying supine on a bed while one woman straddles my face and another sucks my cock) would probably kill or severely injure me.  So I wouldn’t mind being the kind of guy who could actually pull it off.
Jill’s Answers
1. Would you take or have you taken a sexually themed vacation getaway (i.e., Hedonism, Club Fantasy Island, Cap d’Agde)? Why or why not?
I never have but I would love to!  I think it would be absolutely amazing!  Sex and vacation are my two favorite things in the world.  I mean, it sounds like a regular vacation but with lots of naked time and fucking.  When we’re holed up in a hotel room we’re usually fucking (or at least not wearing clothes) anyway, so it would be nice not to have to get dressed when we actually leave the room.  
2. You have won an erotic fantasy weekend getaway package custom fit to your needs. Describe the fantasy you desire.
An all-inclusive stay in a luxury hotel with a private nude beach with sexy lifeguards who dress the part.  Free daily massages featuring G-spot massage as performed by well-hung masseurs.  A large in-room jacuzzi tub, plus additional tubs throughout the common areas.  Nightly play parties.  Actually, how about one play party that lasts all weekend?
I hope housekeeping leaves a mint on our pillows, too.
3. An artist has decided that you are his/her inspiration. They want to capture the essence of your sexiness in a sculpture. What would that sculpture look like? Describe it for us or post a photo of an existing sculpture that you believe closely captures the essence of your sexiness.
I like this one.  If the hair was longer it would be perfect.
4. You are being paid 500,000 USD to pose as a live nude model mimicking one of sculptures in the photo below. Which sculpture will you recreate live? Why?
I’d like to take part in sculpture #1.  I’ve always wanted to be lifted and fucked.  That’s one of my favorite positions and yet for various reasons (including lack of balance) it’s one I’ve not really gotten to enjoy as much as I might like.
5. Which book title fits your current thoughts of love, sex or romance?
a. No More Silly Love Songs
b. The Joy of the Quickie
c. Dr. Seth’s Love Prescription
d. Why Do Fools Fall In Love
The Joy of the Quickie.  While Jack and I still enjoy hours-long marathon sex sessions on occasion, typically sex lasts nowhere near as long.  In fact, when we dare to attempt sex while our daughter is actually awake we are invariably interrupted by her or by my visiting in-laws, who lack the sense to understand that when we retreat to our bedroom we are not actually napping.
Too bad this one wasn’t an option.
Bonus: Which one is you? See the sculpture below. Tell us which position you would like to occupy and write a caption.


I’d definitely love to be the woman on top, i.e. the one getting her pussy eaten.  I love to suck cock, and in fact consider myself somewhat submissive, so the kneeling woman is very appealing.  (Actually, now that I think of it, if the standing figure doesn’t have to be male I might opt for that one, as I enjoy having my pussy eaten by one partner while going down on another.)  But overall I find so much appealing about the woman in the receiving position.  I would love to be held aloft by strong arms and being licked to orgasm by an able tongue.  Plus the other woman appears to be caressing her hair and the back of her head, and that is a huge thrill of mine.  The woman on top for sure. 
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Sinful Sunday: Decadent Relaxation

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I love it when Jill wears stockings, heels, and little else.  One of many shots we took during a recent hotel stay.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

Sinful Sunday

TMI Tuesday: April 1, 2014

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Many of us cannot live with out computer technology and being “connected” in some manner. Computers are a huge part of our lives and thus many of us personalize our computers, smartphones, tablets, etc. to show our personalities or to be extensions of our uniqueness. This week’s TMI Tuesday is about the love affair we have with our computer devices or Computer Love.

Jack’s Answers
1. What’s the wallpaper (photo, design, etc) on your phone, laptop or PC? Is it the same or different on these devices?
Sorry to disappoint you with the mundaneness of my answer, but both my laptop and my PC have the same black background.  I know that you were expecting something a bit more personal, like a favorite movie poster or album cover, or a photo of my daughter, Jill and I dressed to the nines at a family wedding.  But when I buy a new computer or reformat an old one, the first thing I do is take a picture with my lens cap on, and use the resulting jpeg as my desktop background.  While there was a time when I put a lot of thought into my computer wallpaper, and would change it frequently to reflect my mood, these days I prefer a simple black background as it facilitates the quick location and access of the countless files I leave strewn all over my desktop.  On the other hand, I usually use some manner of geeky pop culture image as the wallpaper on my phone and tablet.  (Currently both wallpapers are Doctor Who-related.)  Compared to my desktop and PC, these devices are much more likely to be seen, and one never knows when one will run across an attractive fellow Whovian…
“Sorry, freak.  Not in a million years.”

2. What’s on the desktop of your phone or notebook/tablet (i.e., icons, files, windows etc.)
My phone has a combination clock and weather widget, plus a search bar and a bunch of apps.  My tablet is more or less the same.

Both usually feature the “low battery” warning screen as well.
3. What type of computer device do you use most often?
It’s a tie between my phone and my laptop, an Asus Something-Or-Other.  I like the convenience that my phone brings; I can carry the entire internet in my pocket wherever I go, and check websites, and send instant messages or tweet without having to lug my laptop from room to room.  Plus it can send and receive phone calls though I rarely use it for that purpose.  But I generally hate typing on my phone, especially for more than a couple sentences at a time.  Thus when I’m hanging around at home I’m usually using my laptop.
4. How many computer type devices do you own including smartphones?
Not counting no-longer-functioning devices, or ones that are generally not in regular use, the answer is five.  I’ve got a tablet, a smartphone, two laptops, and a desktop PC.  Actually now that I think of it, I’ve also got a netbook, though it’s rare that I actually use it; these days when I need an internet-capable device that I can take with me, it’s going to be my tablet.   Additionally I’ve still got three old smartphones going back to 2009, a cheap tablet that one day failed to boot up, and several old laptops which either don’t work or are semi-obsolete, and which I’ve been planning to crack open and salvage for spare parts for quite awhile now.  Someday!
5. Do you make sexy videos with your smartphone?
Again, sorry to disappoint, but the answer is no.  I mean, we have done it.  Actually, now that I think of it most of the sexy videos we’ve taken were made with a standard point-and-click camera or my DSLR.  Such is the case with both of the masturbation videos we shot for Masturbation Month in May 2012 and May 2013.  But with our smartphone, no, not really.  We are much more prolific sexy photographers than sexy videographers.
6. Do you video-chat naked or have virtual sex using your computer?
Of course.  We can’t get enough of it.  Especially me.  Being a stay-at-home parent I’ve found myself with more hours of solitary leisure time than I would be able to handle if not for Skype.  During the first couple years of our daughter’s life when she’d nap regularly once if not twice a day, sexy webcamming  (i.e. frequently but not always naked) took the edge off the fact that while I was once a free-wheeling man-about-town, I suddenly found myself with a diaper bag permanently affixed to my body, responsible for the life and well-being of another human being.  It was sometimes difficult to coordinate Skype dates, and on more than one occasion my daughter woke up crying just as things were getting good.  But when it worked out – and it did quite often – it was well worth all the misfires.  There was a period between the time she stopped napping and the time she started preschool when Skype action was much more sporadic – almost nonexistent – but now that she’s out of the house a few hours a week, I do my best to ensure that my non-sexy to-do list (housecleaning, grocery shopping, writing, television-watching) and my sexy to-do list are balanced.  Oh!  That reminds me:  Do we need to add you on Skype?  Let us know.
7. How many naked photos of your whole body or your body parts have you taken with your smartphone camera?
There is literally no way to calculate the actual number, so I’m just going to say a zillion.
You might as well ask me how many grains of sand comprise the Sahara Desert.
8. What is the most photographed part of your body?
My face.
Bonus:  Post a photo of the most photographed part of your body.
Sorry.  Not happening.
Bonus, Bonus: Do you use a screensaver? If yes, post a pic of it.
Why yes!  I do use a screensaver.  It’s the iconic After Dark module Flying Toasters.  Oh wait – no I don’t.  I used to, though.  In the mid-1990s, before Star Wars hit the wall, so to speak, I employed a system of screensavers entitled Star Wars Screen Entertainment.  Pictured is the Jawa module, wherein Jawas, droids, and Tusken Raiders ran out onto your screen and rearranged your files and icons. 
Jill’s Answers
1. What’s the wallpaper (photo, design, etc) on your phone, laptop or PC? Is it the same or different on these devices?
My laptop and my tablet both feature whatever default wallpaper was installed on the devices when I got them.  I’ve never really been one to customize a laptop or a computer in this way, certainly not as much as Jack.  The exception to the rule is my phone.  I have it with me at all times, and most of what little non-work-related emailing, social networking, etc. I do these days is done on my phone.  Given how much I use it, it makes sense that I’d want an appealing image as my wallpaper.  So I use a photo I took of my daughter.  It never fails to make me smile.
2. What’s on the desktop of your phone or notebook/tablet (i.e., icons, files, windows etc.)
My phone’s desktop includes a clock, and icons for my most-often-used apps, including my camera, text messaging, and a few games and things.  On my laptop, there are only a few shortcuts to recently-installed programs, and all the usual stuff like my recycle bin.  But there aren’t any files or anything.  When it comes to computers, I’m a much better housekeeper than Jack.
Houses, though?  Whole different story.
3. What type of computer device do you use most often?
As I said in my answer to Question #1, my phone sees much more use than my laptop (or for that matter even my tablet).  This is because I don’t have anywhere near as much time to sit at a desk, or even on the couch, and use my laptop as I’d like.  This is something of a luxury for me lately.  When I need to send an instant message, look up a recipe on the internet, or watch something on YouTube (or more likely PornHub or RedTube), it’s going to be on my phone.  I’d love to have more time to use my laptop, but most days I am going nonstop from morning until night.  Maybe when our daughter is away at college.
4. How many computer type devices do you own including smartphones?
Three.  One smartphone, one tablet, and one laptop.  That’s probably more than I need, actually.
When it comes to vibrators, though, that’s not nearly enough.
5. Do you make sexy videos with your smartphone?
I have, but it isn’t something I do very often.  First of all it’s very hard to take a video of myself with my phone.  Maybe with an actual camera on a tripod.  But my tits are pretty much the only thing I can consistently capture in a flattering way with my smartphone camera, and unfortunately there’s not much I can do with them to justify taking a video as opposed to just a picture.  I can’t get my nipples into my mouth.  I can barely reach my nipples with my tongue, and if I can it’s only for like a second.  I am always up for masturbating on camera, but again that’s the kind of thing that would be better with a camera on a tripod rather than a smartphone.  With my luck I’ll set my smartphone on a table across from the bed, prop it up against something and start recording, then lie down and get started only to have it fall over and record the ceiling.
6. Do you video-chat naked or have virtual sex using your computer?
Now this is definitely something I enjoy.  I’ve done a lot of both naked video-chatting via Skype and virtual sex via instant messenger, though not as much lately as I’d like.  In my twenties I used to enjoy sexy chats with random guys on the other side of the country or even the world.  Eventually this progressed to webcamming, and I’d often stay up until the early hours of the morning to watch random guys stroke their cocks as I played with my pussy.  Though it’s hardly a substitute for physical contact there is something both erotic and intimate about sharing such an experience with another human being.  When Jack and I lived far apart for a couple years, we’d cam often, usually right before bed.  Watching him masturbate always heightened my desire for him and ensured I gave him a good show.  When we lived together we’d look in Yahoo! Chat for a willing audience, though we transitioned to Skype and eventually put on shows for friends we’d made through our blog and Twitter.  But it’s been awhile since we’ve been able to do that, especially as our daughter has gotten older and her sleep schedule has grown more precarious.  During the late afternoon or evening when I’ve just gotten home from work she isn’t likely to give us the time we need for that sort of open-ended play, and since we’re on the West Coast most of our friends are asleep by the time she’s down for the night.  Lately the closest I come to this kind of activity is an occasional instant messenger conversation with one of a few sexy friends.  Of course, it usually happens during the day, which means I am working (or on my lunch break, anyway) and thus unable to masturbate, even though the friends with whom I’m chatting are definitely getting off.  Needless to say, I am frequently soaking wet by the time I leave work.
7. How many naked photos of your whole body or your body parts have you taken with your smartphone camera?
Whole body:  672.  Body parts:  1,509.  (Figures may be approximate.)
8. What is the most photographed part of your body?
My tits.  My ass is a very close second.
Bonus:  Post a photo of the most photographed part of your body.
Here you go!
Bonus, Bonus: Do you use a screensaver? If yes, post a pic of it.
My laptop just shuts off the display after a few minutes of non-use.  So here’s my screensaver.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Sinful Sunday: Tight Squeeze

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We like anal sex.  We find it to be intense and pleasurable, with just the right amount of taboo to give it a slight edge over vaginal sex.  But we don’t have it as often as either of us would like, because as we frequently say, when you’re pressed for time you tend to fuck the orifice that lubricates itself.  However, while enjoying a couple days without our usual responsibilities (read: while childless and holed up in a hotel room), we broke out the lube and had some fun.  It bears noting that Jill’s first experience with anal sex, long before she and I met, was far from a positive one, venturing instead into the realm of sexual assault.  Therefore her comfort is of the utmost importance to me – in all things, not just when I’m fucking her ass – and I do my best to make sure that she enjoys herself as much as I do.  
Sinful Sunday

I’m Not Excited About Under the Skin

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Over the last year there has been a ton of buzz about Under the Skin, a new film directed by Jonathan Glazer.  Since its premiere at the Telluride Film Festival in August, a steady and excited rumble has deafened certain parts of the internet as excited filmgoers eagerly awaited its release.  (The film opened in the United Kingdom on Friday; its U.S. release is scheduled for April 4.)  So what’s the film about?  The simple answer is that it doesn’t seem to matter in the least, as the vast majority of the aforementioned buzz has had nothing to do with the film or its science fiction plot, or for that matter the 2000 novel from which it is derived.  Nor has it anything to do with the director or his previous works, which include the Ray Winstone film Sexy Beast and the Nicole Kidman film Birth.  No, the buzz I’ve heard over the last several months almost exclusively concerns star Scarlett Johansson and her quartet of nude scenes.

There was a time when news of a major Hollywood actress baring all for the camera might inspire me to go see the film in question.  Of course, there was a time (before I was an overextended stay-at-home parent) when I might go see the film regardless.  I understand that Scarlett Johansson is a hot commodity, and I acknowledge that millions of filmgoers worldwide find her physically desirable.  She may even be a really good actress; I’ll admit to enjoying her performance the few times I’ve actually seen her in something.
Unfortunately, the days of me breaking a sweat over even a relatively revealing or explicit nude scene in a commercially-released film are long since over.  There was a time when the promise of seeing a brief flash of a well-known actress’ nipple on HBO might motivate me to stay up until well past two in the morning, even on a school night.  I’m not sure why this is; I’m guessing it’s a combination of interest and respect for the actress(es) in question, and more importantly, a lack of other suitable jerkoff material.  After all, this was a more innocent time, when the internet was less ubiquitous, and obtaining legitimate pornography generally involved leaving the house, spending money, and worst of all, being rung up by an actual human being who you’d have to look in the eye as they judged you.
I remember waiting patiently for the release of Bliss, starring Twin Peaks‘ Sheryl Lee.  And Dream Lover, starring Twin Peaks‘ Mädchen Amick.  And discovering on video Two Moon Junction, starring Twin Peaks‘ Sherilyn Fenn.  I watched Dana Delaney rise from a swimming pool completely naked in Exit to Eden, enjoyed the sight of Rose McGowan getting fucked in a bathtub in The Doom Generation despite the glaring sight of James Duval’s balls, forced myself to watch Nicolas Cage thrusting awkwardly into Laura Dern in exchange for long looks at her naked breasts in Wild at Heart, admired Annette Bening’s bush in The Grifters, stroked it to Samantha Micelli in Embrace of the Vampire, shot many a load while watching Jodie Foster take a shower in Backtrack, squinted to make out any trace of Jennifer Connelly’s labia in The Hot Spot, wore out the pause button on my VCR to catch a split-second glimpse of Julia Roberts’ nipple through the headboard in Pretty Woman, suffered through more than two hours of non-stop melodramatic schlock in order to ogle Elizabeth Berkeley in Showgirls, and stared eyes agape as Heather Graham cast off her clothes in Boogie Nights.  Sorry, make that Twin Peaks‘ Heather Graham.  Ah, the ’90s.
I know that in the past I’ve mentioned instances of celebrity nudity to which I have looked forward, notably Jessica Biel’s topless scenes in Powder Blue.  So understand that I’m not saying that there are no celebrities I find attractive, or no instances of movie or television nudity that have gotten my attention over the last few years.  There certainly are.  The 2011 film Take This Waltz, in which Michelle Williams, Sarah Silverman, and Jennifer Podemski appear full-frontally nude in a lengthy shower scene, was for me what I’m guessing Under the Skin is for many pervy filmgoers today.  I’m not sure why this film intrigued me so; I don’t consider myself a fan of Sarah Silverman, but the thought of seeing her naked was exciting.  She seemed to me the least likely mainstream actress to drop trou for the camera.  I suppose that I liked the scene perhaps because of its boldness.  It wasn’t erotic or even overtly sexy; none of the women kissed or touched each other.  It was a rather mundane depiction of three women taking a shower.  Scrubbing.  Having a conversation.
And that’s when it kind of hit me:  Maybe it was the decided lack of glamour that I found attractive, and even arousing.  Generally speaking, I can’t relate to the current crop of big-name Hollywood actresses.  I’m almost thirty-eight years old.  Despite the fact that I’m in contact almost daily with a woman ten years my junior – a woman I not only desire but consider a close friend – I acknowledge that the things that matter to this specific cohort – and for that matter, to men the same age – are vastly different than the things that matter to me.  Generally speaking I don’t know what makes the younger generation tick, and that’s if they come from a walk of life similar to my own.  Put them in several-thousand-dollar Versace gowns and near-priceless jewelry on loan from Martin Katz and while I’ll admit they look stunning they might as well not even be the same species as I.  
And that is, generally speaking, why I’m over celebrities, or at the very least why I don’t fantasize about them, certainly not the way I did when I was a much younger man.  While I certainly value an emotionally-raw or award-winning performance, it is rare that I find myself sexually attracted to a female celebrity, at least to the point of masturbating to a revealing scene, or to a fantasy of my own invention.  I must disclose that I belong to more than one forum dedicated to the subject of celebrity nudity, the kind of place where much of the conversation over the past several months has concerned Scarlett Johansson’s aforementioned nude scenes.  I visit these forums on a more or less daily basis.  I check them to see if some groundbreaking piece of movie nudity-related news has broken, and in the off chance that some high definition screen capture of a hitherto unknown to me nude scene has been posted.  But for more than any other reason, I check them out of habit.  
A big part of the reason why I can’t relate to, and am therefore only superficially attracted to, the actresses and musicians who grace the covers of countless checkout aisle tabloids and entertainment magazines is because in the past couple years as a sex blogger I have made the acquaintance of countless women to whom I can relate, and to whom I am seriously attracted, not only physically but intellectually as well.  And it helps that many of these women are attracted to me as well.  

I find that my opinion of a woman’s hotness and desirability is greatly influenced by whether or not she thinks I’m hot and desirable.
— Jack (and Jill) (@jackandjillcpl) March 9, 2014

What’s the use in pining for some inaccessible supposed ideal who you’re unlikely to ever meet, much less take to bed?  I have friends both male and female, married and single, who lust openly for some celebrity, who may even have a list of celebrities with whom they are allowed to have sex in the off chance they meet them at a crowded, smelly Wal-Mart in our far-from-Hollywood pocket of suburbia.  And that’s cute.  It’s good to have goals in life, though deliberately setting goals that you know you’ll never actually achieve seems counterproductive to me.  Still, I understand the need for fantasy; when slogging through decades of monogamy a sliver of hope may be what keeps them sane, and/or faithful.
Oh, and since I’ve mentioned the word “ideal”, I should point out for the umpteenth time that I usually reject anything that society tells me is ideal.  Doesn’t matter if it’s the ideal life, the ideal job, the ideal partner, or the ideal state of monogamy.  If the population at large expects me to conform to it I’m probably going to scoff.  Call me crazy, but I’m more likely to fantasize about the cute checker at the grocery store or the young woman I sometimes see in the elevator in my building than some flashbulb-blinded queen of the silver screen standing on the red carpet in a low-cut dress at the Oscars.  
Why?  Well, at the risk of applying a label where it is perhaps unwarranted, I find women in the first category much more “real”.  That is to say, they are the sort of women I encounter in my daily life, and thus I can relate to them, and because of this I find them attractive.  They have screaming, colicky babies who throw temper tantrums and don’t nap when they’re expected to.  They have trouble sticking to a diet.  They have mountains of debt.  They have unreasonable bosses who take their personal problems out on them.  I am not trying to insinuate that an A-list Hollywood actress is in any way unreal, though one could be forgiven for thinking so given her predilection for regularly swapping out her own identity for that of a character, and for pay.  It’s simply the nature of the beast.  
While most of the time I tend to get off to sexy chats with hot friends, well-written erotica, or provocative posts by my many fellow bloggers, if I’m looking for a visual turn-on for the purposes of masturbation and orgasm, I’d rather watch a porn film than a brief, often chaotically-edited scene wherein I have to squint through a darkly-lit film set in order to catch sight of an actress’ breasts for two frames.  Granted, rather than a big-budget studio porn production I’d prefer to get off to a grainy DIY scene featuring actual people, i.e. unpaid non-actors.  But if I’m determined to watch something sexy I’ll take what’s available.  At the top of the hierarchy is some kind of amateur video shot with a handheld camera featuring a woman (or women) I might conceivably know.  Below that is glossy studio porn.  And below that is the artfully shot Hollywood film with a six-second scene of partial nudity.
I understand why people get so excited about the artfully shot Hollywood film with a six-second scene of partial nudity.  I understand why certain segments of the filmgoing public spend months looking forward to one high-profile nude scene and then once it’s released begin anticipating the next one.  After all, for many years I was counted amongst their number.  The intention of a nude scene may be to symbolize a character’s internal vulnerability rather than to titillate.  While it might not be as revealing or as overtly erotic as porn, for some there is something very appealing about getting an intimate look at a movie star or other celebrity whose career we may have followed for years, and to whom we have developed an emotional attachment.  
But not for me.  There are few actresses to whom I have such an attachment.  That said, I need to check Netflix for a film called Not Another Happy Ending; I understand Karen Gillan gets naked.
– Jack

TMI Tuesday: March 11, 2014

Jack6 Comments
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This week’s TMI Tuesday deals with emotions.

“The emotions aren’t always immediately subject to reason, but they are always immediately subject to action”

Quote from philosopher-pyschologist William James
Jack’s Answers
1.  Laughter: What makes you laugh?
An interesting turn of phrase by my daughter, whether used correctly or incorrectly.  These days I find the stuff this kid overhears and incorporates into conversation far funnier than scripted comedy.
2. Anger: This past week, who or what really pissed you off? What happened?
On Sunday, I found myself at a family party.  Jill wasn’t there yet and it fell solely upon me to ensure that my daughter didn’t break anything or take a header into our hosts’ ungated pool.  (Single parents, I don’t know how you do it.)  My kid loves to push her limits, and finally I had to give her a time-out, a punishment that didn’t exist when I was a kid but was somehow invented in the interim decades, and luckily so because I wouldn’t have the first idea how to actually give my daughter a spanking anyway.  Anyway, I sat her down on the sofa in an empty room and told her to sit and think about what she’d done wrong.  While this was going on, another party guest to whom I hadn’t been introduced came into the room, stood over the sofa, and made disapproving sounds.  I do on occasion curse in front of my child – I’m only human – so understand that I didn’t ask him what the fuck his problem was not because I was self-censoring but because I was so dumbstruck by his rudeness that I found myself at a loss for words.  So I shrugged my shoulders incredulously and gave him a look that told him to beat it, which he heeded.  I have no idea who the guy was – a friend or relative of the host, I assume – but he steered clear for the rest of the party.
3. Fear: What phobia did you have but overcame?
When I was a little kid – probably age five and younger – I was terrified of clowns, to the extent that I refused to attend a party or event if I suspected there would be a clown.  Needless to say my circus attendance during this period of my life was very though, although it was actually higher than it has been for the last thirty years.  Anyway, while I no longer find clowns terrifying, I still find them annoying.
Some more than others.
4. Surprise: Recently, what unexpected act or behavior did you experience in your sex life?
I Skyped with a friend for the first time!  That’s always fun.  I think we can all relate to the excitement of seeing someone naked for the first time; despite the fact that it wasn’t in person, I have no complaints about the experience overall.
5. Trust: Many on-going relationships have a certain predictability about them. Does that certainty translate into trust?
I suppose that it can be viewed that way; however I’ve always interpreted predictability with boredom.  While some measure of predictability is probably desirable in an on-going relationship, I’ll opt for spontaneity any day of the week.  The challenge, therefore, lies in determining a suitable balance between security and excitement. 
You’re doing it wrong.
6. Excitement: Who do you excite?
Virtually every woman I meet, and more than a few of the men.
Bonus: What intimate activity do you share with your partner, something that is meaningful to your relationship? For example Sunday breakfast in bed, cooking, maintenance spanking, etc.
I gave this one a lot of thought.  I wanted to come up with something really memorable, something that truly defines us as a couple.  Spending our Sunday mornings splitting a bottle of champagne in bed, for example.  I’m not sure why, but in my mind that was always the apex of intimacy and luxury, a decadent tradition that never quite managed to take place, even before we had kids.  We spent most of our weekends staying with Jill’s family out of town, and now that we are parents neither one of us is willing to wake up any earlier than we absolutely have to.  So what could it be?  I’d say cooking, and I’m willing to wager that Jill will in fact go with this; however I suspect that would seem like I just went with that because it was suggested in the question.  You know what?  I’m just going to go with fisting.
Jill’s Answers
1.  Laughter: What makes you laugh?
My daughter, when she makes a funny voice when trying to imitate a character or a person she knows, or when she says something mature in the correct context.  Cute sentimental things, like the stupid mom humor I sometimes see in my friends’ Facebook feeds.  Bob’s Burgers.  
2. Anger: This past week, who or what really pissed you off? What happened?
One of the things that most infuriates me is being ignored.  I absolutely hate it when I ask someone or tell someone something and they hear me but don’t respond.  This week, between my daughter and my students, it happened multiple times.
It’s a lot like this.
3. Fear: What phobia did you have but overcame?
I’ve always been at least a little bit afraid of heights.  Going all the way back to childhood, I don’t like looking over the edge of a cliff, or a tall building.  When this phobia was at its worst I had issues looking down over the second-floor railing at the mall.  Now, however, it’s a lot less pronounced than it was.  While I do still experience some semblance of vertigo when I look down from a high place, I have no problem getting fucked in front of a picture window in a high-rise hotel suite, or even up against a balcony.  I think Jack really helped me overcome that phobia.
4. Surprise: Recently, what unexpected act or behavior did you experience in your sex life?
Last night Jack woke me up for sex in the middle of the night.  Normally when we have sex in the middle of the night I’m only half-asleep, not fully asleep, as most of the time he respects my serious need for sleep too much to disturb me – although I have never asked him not to.  Anyway, last night Jack got to bed late.  I remember him asking if I was cold, and then the next thing I knew he was inside me, filling me up until I couldn’t possibly take anymore.  Then I was wide awake, and he was fingering my clit as his cock moved in and out.  Before long, we were lying side by side, enjoying post-orgasmic bliss.  Needless to say, it was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in awhile.

It was a lot like this.

5. Trust: Many on-going relationships have a certain predictability about them. Does that certainty translate into trust?
I think that when you’ve been with someone a certain length of time and you’ve really gotten to know who they are, you start to trust that things are going to be a certain way.  You grow comfortable in the understanding that you largely know what’s going to happen.  That doesn’t necessarily imply that things are going to be rote or boring, although that’s certainly possible.  What I mean is that you become secure in that predictability, and that does imply trust.  I’m going to say yes.

6. Excitement: Who do you excite?
Jack, for sure.  A few friends of ours, including a high school friend of Jack’s who’s joined us in the bedroom, and another high school friend of Jack’s who we most certainly wish would join us in the bedroom.  A couple of our other friends as well, mostly guys who are married and thus unable to join us in the bedroom.  Still, it’s nice to know that they would if they could.  Unfortunately, I can’t say for sure whether or not I excite anyone else, as I’ve largely ceased tweeting and therefore I don’t get as much feedback as I used to, or for that matter as much as I’d like to.  So…anyone out there get excited by me?  Let me know!

Bonus: What intimate activity do you share with your partner, something that is meaningful to your relationship? For example Sunday breakfast in bed, cooking, maintenance spanking, etc.
Fisting, without a doubt.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Sharing is Fun!

Jack3 Comments
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“I’m S!” says the woman who has in fact been represented by that initial on this blog in last November’s post The Year of Near Misses.  Actually she doesn’t actually say it, as far as I can tell.  It’s an instant message.  She follows this up with an emoticon, to wit a coy wink that is unnecessary to convey her flirty nature,  but appreciated nonetheless.  I imagine her thrill upon reading the post in question, upon realizing that she’s been referenced, if only by a single letter, in front of our sizable readership.

Actually, is our readership sizable these days?  I doubt it, as our blogging activity is not what it once was.  Still, it’s out there.  I ask her how she feels about that.  When I read that she’s flattered, I’m relieved.  After all, I wrote that post with the expectation that she’d never read it.  I tell her as much:  “It wasn’t necessarily intended for your eyes when I originally wrote it.”  She understands.

We had no real intention of sharing our blog with S.  If you’ve been following this blog for any appreciable length of time or if you’ve simply read more than a handful of posts, you know that discretion is vital to us, and that we aren’t the kind of people who throw caution to the wind.  In a perfect world throwing caution to the wind would be an option, without any real consequences.  But this is simply not the case.  We tend to be very careful about showing our blog to people who know us in so-called “real life”, i.e. those who have met us in person, because it’s filled with enough evidence of our salacious doings to ruin my wife’s career and have severe repercussions on her social circle as well.  Despite the fact that Jill and I are very attracted to S and vice versa, despite the fact that we’ve talked extensively about having sex with her in virtually every conceivable variation, despite the fact that I’ve known her for twenty-five years and that there is a measure of real trust between us that doesn’t even exist between M and I, it wasn’t something we planned to do.

For one thing, we weren’t sure she really wanted to see it.  Yes, she asked for the URL pretty much as soon as she knew the blog existed.  But we resisted less for our protection as for her own.  After all, some things, once seen, cannot be unseen.  Pictures of my cock can be found throughout this blog.  However, so can pictures of my belly.  (Hey, I’m working on it.)  Hell, there’s video of me ejaculating here.  Of Jill too.  This is a venue for us to be almost completely honest.  We may not show our faces, and we may spare you some of the more mundane details of our non-sexual life, but this is really who we are.  That couple on Facebook who happen to look just like us, but who keep it PG, rarely curse, and tend to downplay the fact that they even have a sex life?  That’s not us.  That’s a very sanitized, suitable-for-mass-audiences look at who we would be if we were characters on Leave it to Beaver.  Some people wouldn’t be able to handle the real us, and undoubtedly prefer us in our censored versions.

Therefore, even with the discretion factor taken off the table, it’s probably prudent to retain some measure of control over who is exposed to what.  Additionally, I like to preserve a sense of mystery, especially when I’m flirting with someone I’m unlikely to ever actually fuck.  There’s something exciting about withholding information, in a manner of speaking.  About keeping someone guessing, and thereby keeping them interested.  Which is not to say that giving S our blog URL would have killed the attraction, or rendered flirting with us obsolete.  Far from it.  It’s just that it’s not in my nature to overshare in this fashion, at least not with someone I know personally, unless I’m really sure they want it.  Years of maintaining an adult blog and a naughty Twitter account have conditioned me to be a bit more disciplined about what I share and with which audience.  Hell, our sometime bedroom guest star M was made aware of our blog almost two years into the sexual component of our relationship, after much deliberation by Jill and I.  The web address was never shared.  (Granted, she never asked for it.)

In that case, it’s not an issue of trust.  We trust M deeply.  But she doesn’t seem the sort who’d care much for reading our TMI Tuesday answers, or getting our thoughts on some random sexual topic.  Chances are it’s something we’ve already discussed anyway.  At any rate, she undoubtedly lacks the time to dedicate to regular blog-reading.  And if she wanted to, she would have asked.  Would we have given it to her?  Maybe.  But I can’t imagine she feels the need to read about the time we had an awesome threesome after a bar meet-up for Valentine’s Day because she was there.  She lived it.

So why the reluctance in sharing our blog with S?  I’m not sure.  Given the trust that exists between us, and the knowledge that she’d be turned on by pretty much all of it, it does admittedly seem a natural thing to do.  I like knowing that the attraction we feel for her is mutual.  I like knowing that she thinks of us in the middle of the night when she can’t sleep – something she divulged earlier this week.  I like knowing that she fantasizes about Jill and I when she and her husband are having sex.  I like knowing the specific ins and outs (no pun intended) of her fantasies.  I like knowing that she wants to suck my cock, that she’d let me fuck her in a heartbeat, that she’s given as much thought to what that would be like as I have, if not more.  I guess on some level I just worried, admittedly without basis, that such an overshare might mitigate her feelings.

In the end, I gave her a standard-sounding warning that the blog is far more explicit than anything she’d seen from us thusfar, and a trio of conditions to which she eagerly agreed.  First, I told her, perhaps redundantly, that everything in the blog stays between the three of us.  That means that the husband who doesn’t know we exist can’t stumble upon the blog in her browser history.  That also means that certain high school classmates who have appeared in our blog must never find out that she’s read of our exploits together.  Second, I told her that I wanted to discuss it with her.  In the event that she comes across something she really likes or doesn’t like, I asked her to let me know about it, and give me feedback.  Third, related to the previous, if she ever finds herself so turned on by something she’s read or seen on our blog that she has to get herself off, I’d like to know that as well.  But that’s less due to our need for discretion and more due to the fact that I want to hear all about her masturbating to a sexy picture or piece of writing we’ve posted.  Or maybe watch her.

It felt pretty good to share the blog with someone I know well, someone with whom we are close.  In the past, friends have had the URL, and would in fact visit frequently.  But this was back when the blog consisted mainly of random sexual musings and fantasies, i.e. things that could be easily disavowed if someone tried to use it against us.  Photos are more difficult to disavow.  I’m guessing that everyone who followed our blog in its early days gave up on it during the thirteen-month hiatus we took between 2010 and 2011.  However, since returning from said hiatus, our writing – mine in particular – has improved.  I am proud of this blog, because while I have been writing since childhood, few have ever read the bulk of what I’ve written.  In fact, I’d go so far as to say that while I really enjoy my non-blog writing, it’s not as good as this because I am not as passionate about it as I am about sex.  This blog has been read by hundreds if not thousands of people, but most of those who know me in so-called “real life” will never read any of it.

So it seems we’ve got a new reader, which is fortuitous since I’m guessing our recent silence has killed off a sizable chunk of our readership.  Anyway, there’s a good chance that S will read this.  If you’ll indulge me, I’d like to address her now.

Hello, beautiful.  We want you.

Anyway, we’ll keep you all posted regarding any developments!