We have been sex bloggers for a decade. To me that seems so unlikely, so absolutely impossible, that instinct dictates that I check a calendar in order to assure myself that I’m mistaken. Could we really have been doing this for ten years? That’s 120 months. 3,650 days. 5,256,000 minutes. One-tenth of a century. More than ten times as long as I was willing to volunteer on the PTA at my daughter’s school.
To give you a sense of how long we’ve been at it, when we launched this blog Barack Obama was a United States Senator.

Back then, Jill and I were childless, married just over a year, and looking for a means of expressing ourselves sexually. We got the idea of starting a sex blog from a couple of friends who had been sex bloggers previously, before we knew them. (The “Frisky” in our blog title was their suggestion; without them this blog might be known as “Horny in the 916”, “Aroused in the 916”, “Turned on in the 916”, or possibly even “In Heat in the 916”. [Okay, probably not that last one.])

It took a long time for our blog to find a steady readership; our first audience was made up of a very small handful of trusted offline friends, none of whom we currently hear from on a regular basis. As they gradually ceased checking in, we went from having a very small readership to having no readership – a hypothetical audience, if you will – in 2009 and 2010 – to having an expansive, dedicated fanbase during our most prolific period in 2011 and 2012 – and slowly back to that same hypothetical audience in recent years.

In that time, we made more friends than we can count, some of whom were (or still are) bloggers, while others resulted from our joining Twitter in 2011. We have met more of these friends in person than we ever thought we would. We have forged strong connections that transcend friendship with some. We have mourned the loss of others.

Though we have not blogged consistently (in one instance going completely dark for more than a year) it’s always been a valued outlet for Jill and I. Whether we are participating in weekly memes such as TMI Tuesday and Sinful Sunday, sharing original fiction we’ve written, or sharing deeply personal anecdotes, this blog has always been important to us.

In the last decade we have had and raised a child. We have completely upended our life, moving not only to a different part of California but also to a significantly smaller living space. We have become more politically aware and active; our writing here at the blog should be evidence of that.

We have made sacrifices, and experienced tremendous highs and abysmal lows, but generally speaking we have been well. On the blog front, we switched from Google’s Blogger platform to self-hosting in 2015.

Sexually we have seen the gradual changing of our sexual boundaries, eventually achieving a state of openness. When the blog launched ten years ago Jill and I were completely monogamous, with even occasional non-monogamy a seeming pipe dream. I have to give 100% of the credit for that to Jill; while I’ve probably always been inclined toward non-monogamy and even polyamory, Jill has not, and an open relationship is not something she foresaw as a part of her life.  It was much more of a leap for her than it was for me, and I give her credit, and thanks, for taking it.

Which is not to say that this has been a total sacrifice for my wife.  Being open has given her confidence and self-image a boost in a way that I don’t believe could have been achieved even with all the love and support I could possibly give her.  Accordingly, she has seen many of her fantasies and unrealized desires become reality.

To close this post, I’ll share a couple highlights from the last ten years. Jill’s highlight is the time her short story “Open Box” was read by a fellow blogger as part of her now-defunct podcast. Mine is the time one of my posts received feedback from none other than pre-eminent sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

We thank all of you who have been a part of this journey, whether you are a long-time reader, or this is your first time visiting our blog. Thanks for taking the time to get to know us.

 

Welcome to sexy fun and playfulness at TMI Tuesday.

Our blog launched September 18, 2008. Yep, we’ve been doing this a decade.

 

Jack’s Answers
1. Which animal listed below represents your true sexual self?
a. Chipmunk – cute and cuddly
b. Monkey – all about being mischievousness
c. Tiger – I’ve earned my stripes
I’d love to think I’m a tiger – I’ve definitely earned my stripes – but whereas I see myself as fierce and in control, my partners may very well see a monkey. I definitely masturbate like one.

2. Your partner is in the mood for sexy fun and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!
C. Never gonna happen.

3. Which of these sexual descriptive labels closely matches you?
a. Dominant
b. Submissive
c. Top
d. Bottom
e. Switch
f. Kinkster
More than any of the others, I am dominant. I do not see myself as being a Top, and while I am pretty kinky I don’t know that I would identify as a kinkster; that seems misleading. I’m not submissive, really; at best I am a switch, but even that makes me sound more sexually submissive than I actually am. So I’m gonna go with “dominant”.

4. Would you rather have your enemy eaten by a shark or die in an earthquake getting swallowed up by earth?
Definitely eaten by a shark. I mean, it’s not even close. In theory if my enemy falls into a fissure in the Earth’s surface I may assume they’re dead, but if I actually see them eaten by a shark in a glorious frenzy of flesh and razor-sharp teeth, if I watch the gory spectacle from the railing of a yacht with a bucket of popcorn, then I know it for sure.

5. For the next year, would you rather be dressed like a mime every day OR look normal but not be allowed to talk?
Probably dress like a mime. While I feel like it would really trigger my social anxiety, which can be problematic even when I’m dressed in a more nondescript fashion, the truth is that I can’t go five minutes without speaking, much less a whole year. I mean, I saw that Twilight Zone episode, and the only way I can possibly pull that off is by cheating.

Bonus: What’s the most beautiful word in the world?
Impeachment.

Jill’s Answers

1. Which animal listed below represents your true sexual self?
a. Chipmunk – cute and cuddly
b. Monkey – all about being mischievousness
c. Tiger – I’ve earned my stripes
Honestly, it depends on my mood. Sometimes I’m cute and cuddly like a chipmunk, wanting to snuggle and caress. Other times I’m more likely to pounce like a tiger. Eager to be in control and please my partner.

2. Your partner is in the mood for sexy fun and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!
If I’m extremely tired I’ve probably already fallen asleep on the couch or reading to my kid while I try to get her to fall asleep. Although a massage sounds absolutely wonderful. Sign me up for that.

3. Which of these sexual descriptive labels closely matches you?
a. Dominant
b. Submissive
c. Top
d. Bottom
e. Switch
f. Kinkster
Depends on my mood and my partner. Sometimes I’m more submissive – I do enjoy being restrained – and at other times I’m more dominant and wanting to be in control. [Editor’s note: Can confirm.]

4. Would you rather have your enemy eaten by a shark or die in an earthquake getting swallowed up by earth?
I don’t really have enemies. But I think an earthquake seems less gruesome.

5. For the next year, would you rather be dressed like a mime every day OR look normal but not be allowed to talk?
Dressed like a mime. Their outfits aren’t too bad and it would save time getting dressed in the morning. Plus I saw The Little Mermaid and it’s frustrating to communicate without a voice.

Bonus: What’s the most beautiful word in the world?
Love.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Deja vu TMI Tuesday as these questions were originally posted November 18, 2014.

Fill in the blank

Jack’s Answers

1. When I can’t sleep I _____ .
I often analyze some aspect of pop culture: A recent television episode, a new movie I’ve seen, some comic or video game I remember enjoying in childhood (or conceivably even as an adult). This is usually so boring that it nicely does the trick and puts me to sleep.

2. My dream bedroom would be full of _____ .
Sexy women.

3. If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be _____ .
The question is not anywhere, the question is anywhen. In other words, I have no problem waking up here, in my own bed. But I’d love to wake up earlier than 5:30 or six.

4. I need to _____ at night.
Sleep. And in order to do that, I need to decompress, often by watching something lighthearted on TV, catching up on Twitter, building something out of Legos, or just staring at the wall.

5. _____ would truly be a nightmare.
Failing to flip Congress in November.

6. Night time is the right time to _____ .
Sleep. For me, I mean. I don’t wish to slight anyone who works nights and sleeps during the day.

Bonus: Briefly tell us about your last dream–erotic or not.
I was running from the giant boulder at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Pretty sure it caught up to me, too.

Jill’s Answers

1. When I can’t sleep I _____ .
When I can’t sleep I usually either masturbate or go to the couch and watch TV or read. If I’m feeling restless, masturbating usually helps relax my body enough to sleep.

2. My dream bedroom would be full of _____ .
Things that make me the happiest. I don’t have any specific examples at the moment, but I would want to walk into the room and just feel peaceful, relaxed, and happy.

3. If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be _____ .
In Europe, about to embark on an amazing adventure.

4. I need to _____ at night.
I need to relax at night. If I don’t allow myself a little time to relax and decompress, I have trouble shutting down enough to sleep.

5. _____ would truly be a nightmare.
Losing people I love.

6. Night time is the right time to _____ .
Night time is the right time to relax under the stars next to someone you love.

Bonus: Briefly tell us about your last dream–erotic or not.
The last dream I remember, I was on a plane, leaving for vacation.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Enjoy a particularly alluring peek at Jill’s upper thigh.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

I’ve never identified as submissive.  My wife is not particularly dominant.  That being said, there are times when she needs to get on top and ride, and it’s so hot that there’s no way I’ll ever say no.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

We’re back! It’s been a busy, eventful summer. Here’s one of the highlights.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

Heyyyy! TMI Tuesday time again.

1. Is your sex life more fantasy or reality?
These days, it’s probably equal parts both. While there’s a lot more reality than fantasy than has been the case over the last year and a half, there’s definitely a significant fantasy aspect owing at least in part to the fact that most of my partners are too far away to see regularly.

2. If you could hook-up with a past lover (with no repercussions or regret), who would it be and why? (No need to use real names just briefly describe the person and their relationship to you.)
This was a tough one to answer. Most of my former lovers have been good-to-amazing in bed, and any of them was a potential answer to this question. Ultimately I think I’d go with the girlfriend I had in my mid-twenties; at that age I was really good at sex, but arguably lacking in some of the confidence I possess now. I wouldn’t mind revisiting the sexual (and undeniable emotional) connection I had with this person in my current state.

3. You can only indulge in one of the following sex acts for the rest of your life, which would you choose to enjoy?
a. oral sex, only giving
b. 69
c. oral sex, only receiving
d. mutual masturbation
Wow. This is also a toughie. I enjoy all of these, but I don’t know that I can possibly choose one at the expense of the other three. I really love getting head, and I love giving it as well, possibly more. But I don’t think I could select (a) with the understanding that I’d never experience (c) ever again. I’d go with 69, but while I really do enjoy that particular act, sometimes I want to take turns and truly focus on one of us at a time. I’m inclined to go with (a) if only because that doesn’t preclude me from fingering my partner, and I’m told my fingering skills are considerable. Still, the thought of fingering without eating at the same time is pretty sad.

4. With each lover do you pay attention to what they want or do you have a repertoire that you stick to when having sex?
I realize everybody is different, so while I have a default repertoire, I try to check in with my partner and see what’s working for her, then adjust said repertoire based on her needs and desires.

5. Do you initiate sex for healthful benefits, e.g., to sleep better or relieve pain?
I suppose that I have. Not for the specific benefits stated above, but because emotional connection and release sometimes – often? – provide me significant mental health benefits.

Bonus: Do you understand the clitoris?
Probably not. I’m just glad I can find it.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

I don’t like to keep a beautiful woman waiting, but anticipation can be an exciting part of foreplay.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

Here’s the lovely Rye demonstrating a pair of thumb cuffs.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

What do ice-cream and sex have in common? We discuss both this TMI Tuesday, that’s what.

Jack’s Answers

1. If you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be and why?
Rocky Road, because the rougher, the better. (You thought I was going to say Chubby Hubby, didn’t you?)

2. What are the best sexy skills you bring to a sexual relationship?
I’ve been thoroughly praised for my oral talents, especially when coupled with my finding-the-G-spot skills. In fact, I’m told that my cock features a curve that makes it instrumental for stroking my partner’s G-spot during missionary-position sex. Until recently, I had no idea about the aforementioned curve, but then I’ve been viewing my member from one angle for my entire life, so my perspective is limited.

3. What is the single largest problem causing you angst in your romantic relationship (current or most recent relationship)?
I’m going to go with geographic distance. Lately, Jill and I are doing much better than we have been in a very long while. We are making more of an effort to connect romantically and sexually, and when we do it’s great! If I have to come up with some source of angst within my marriage, it would probably be the fact that we rarely have the ability to go out and do things just the two of us; babysitters are in short supply, and having a high-functioning eight-year-old present is hardly conducive to romantic dates. However, this is a minor nitpick; everything else is pretty much where we need it to be. So I guess that for the purposes of highlighting a more serious problem I’ll need to examine my other relationships. All of these are long-distance, and it sucks. Make no mistake; they are incredibly fulfilling, even considering the miles that separate us. And when we are together it’s all very worth it. But holy crap, it would be so much easier if seeing one of my partners didn’t involve hopping a plane.

4. What is the best part about being in a relationship with you?
If you want a genuine answer, you’ll have to ask someone who’s in a relationship with me. I’m likely to come up with some sort of self-deprecating bullshit.

5. What is the biggest misconception that people have about you?
Probably that I’m monogamous. Because that is the default assumption, isn’t it?

Bonus: When you look at old photos of yourself, do you like what you see?
Well, that depends. The one where I’m all decked out for the Homecoming dance? Definitely. Even at seventeen I was hot as hell. But that one where I’m a toddler and my mom caught me splashing around in the (hopefully just-flushed) toilet? I like that one too; I was an adorable two-year-old. The numerous Sinful Sunday photos featuring myself in various states of undress? Love ’em. Okay, forget what I said earlier. I always like what I see.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!