This week’s TMI Tuesday questions come from the wacky, inventive, and sexually creative mind of the late phoenix.

Jack’s Answers

1. We are all incurable sex addicts, but name one thing—a job, a passion, a creative outlet, a collection—of yours you use as a replacement, a distraction from constantly thinking about sex 24/7.
There is literally nothing that serves this purpose for me.  Make no mistake, I have a number of potential distractions, amongst them non-blog writing, reading, film, outdoor activities, cooking, and the day-to-day raising of my daughter.  But of these activities, absolutely none of them have managed to successfully distract me from thinking about sex for more than a couple minutes at the absolute most.  I kid you not, the typical thought in my head when I’m engaging in one of these activities is, “I wonder if I can somehow parlay this into getting laid.”

2. Have you ever loved somebody so much you thought having sex with them would actually sully the pristine purity of that love?
Of course. My mom.

Bonus: Tell us something sexy that happened to you this week.
Can’t think of a single thing, sadly.  It was a pretty unsexy week in the Jack and Jill household, the weekend especially.  Total bummer.  Maybe this week will be hotter…

Jill’s Answers

1. We are all incurable sex addicts, but name one thing—a job, a passion, a creative outlet, a collection—of yours you use as a replacement, a distraction from constantly thinking about sex 24/7.
I would say that my job is the one thing that usually prevents me from constantly thinking about sex.  I work with children, and that environment does not lend itself easily to sexual thought.  However, Jack being Jack, I frequently find myself the recipient of a variety of lewd text messages, emails, links, and photos via my phone.  He will do anything to redirect my mind to matters of a sexual nature.

2. Have you ever loved somebody so much you thought having sex with them would actually sully the pristine purity of that love?
No.  I’m pretty sure that, while I have dated many men, the only one I ever really loved is Jack.  By the time I realized how intense my feelings were, we had already had sex.  At any rate, at least in my experience I don’t believe that sex has to sully anything.  The love I feel for Jack makes the sex that we have more intense, and the sex makes our love stronger.  Being physically intimate is just another way for us to express our love.

3. If you could make love to yourself, would you? Describe this experience in full detail.
Yes, I would definitely make love to myself.  I’m hot.  Who wouldn’t make love to me?  I would start with a sensual massage to get myself in the mood.  Being touched all over my body excites me, and makes it easier for me to have an orgasm.  My hands would quickly be replaced by my lips and tongue.  After being kissed all over, I would desire something more intense.  Unfortunately I can’t fuck myself as I just don’t have the body parts for the job.  I would probably opt to use a strap-on cock or maybe a double-ended dildo.  If I could hold a vibrator on my clit at the same time, even better.  There have been times when I’ve had really good orgasms with just a vibrator on my clit, and they’re usually more intense when I’m getting fucked at the same time.

Bonus: Tell us something sexy that happened to you this week.
Jack and I had a threesome.  This week marks the birthday of M, our longtime friend and sometime third.  She happens to be single at the moment, so we figured, what better way to celebrate?  We had a nice dinner that was pretty much nonstop flirting and double-entendres.  Then we came home and opened a bottle of wine, and then a couple more.  I can’t even put into words how exciting it was to kiss and play with her.  It had been so long.  We hope it won’t be too long before it happens again.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

It was revealed last week that, in addition to provisions limiting the rights of LGBT individuals and forcing the victims of rape to carry to term the children of their rapists, the 2012 Republican Party platform includes language promising the vigorous enforcement of current anti-pornography laws.

There are laws in place in the United States which make pornography illegal.  I’m not talking about relatively tame scenes involving a man and a woman having sex; while there are those who would love nothing better than to eradicate even the nearly-wholesome output of studios like Vivid Video, its mainstream appeal makes cracking down on vanilla porn (for lack of a better descriptor) a hard sell.  But I’m not talking solely about child pornography, either.  Since the presidency of George W. Bush, the adult industry has seen strict measures put in place to make their product more difficult to produce and distribute.

In 2001, fear of criminal prosecution led to the creation of the Cambria List, a collection of sex acts considered at the time to be obscene in the eyes of the U.S. Justice Department; it was strongly recommended that these acts not be included in pornographic films.  Today the items on the list seem arbitrary, nonsensical even, from such porn standards as facials, simulated rape, and degradation; to much less controversial elements such as food play and blindfolding.

“Wait a minute, Jack”, you may be saying.  “The Founding Fathers didn’t have Three-in-the-Butt Sluts Volume 4 in mind when they drafted the Bill of Rights.  They were talking about the right of the individual to speak his or her mind, question the government, and protest peacefully.”  Hey, you know what?  You may be right.  But if we start nit-picking details and questioning the evolution of each amendment of the United States Constitution, i.e. what the authors had in mind versus the way it’s interpreted today, we couldn’t in good conscience bypass the fact that the Founding Fathers probably didn’t envision automatic weapons when they wrote the Second Amendment.

-Jill

If you want to ask us a sexy question, drop us a line on Formspring, or use the handy Formspring widget on the right-hand side of our blog.  To see who else participated this week, visit Twitter and search for #FormspringFriday!  If you have a Formspring account and you aren’t already participating, feel free to join in the Formspring Friday fun!

The prompt photo seems to depict a courtroom scene, evidenced by the fact that the file name is “objection your honor”.  Obviously the sexy woman in the hat is the defendant, and I took the sunglasses-wearing gentleman on the left to be the “world-famous” defense attorney to which I refer in the second paragraph.  I’m not sure why he’s wearing sunglasses indoors.

The requirements for this particular challenge include the use of the phrase “…”two-fisted…”, and a maximum word count of 255.  I was aware of the required phrase as an expression meaning “virile” or “ready to fight”.  However, I think my usage fits the story nicely.  As for the word count, I originally brought the story in at 256, but changed the final sentence of the second paragraph from “…the physical evidence found at the scene of the crime said that his client wasn’t getting off this time” to “…the physical evidence found at the scene of the crime said his client wasn’t getting off this time.”

You can probably tell from my story that I know very little about the American justice system, save that it appears to be inherently flawed.  But I think I’ve watched enough television to write something serviceable.

Deleted Scenes

None.

Soundtrack

I like the way the dulcet sounds of the Five Keys’ early 1950s song “There Ought to Be a Law” plays against the unorthodox goings-on in the otherwise staid setting of this story.  On the other hand, “Guilty as Charged”, by early 1980s rock band Culprit, provides a nihilistic, fast-paced feel that fits the action well.  Either way, the familiar “banging gavel” sound effect from TV’s Law & Order should accompany the prosecutor’s climax.

The main theme at The Naughty Hangout this week is “Bridge”.  We’ve done a couple photo posts involving a bridge, including a previous installment of TNH, and our final HNT post.  So we thought we’d skip the main theme and tackle one of the backup themes, either “Unfinished” or “Letting Go”.  In the end I couldn’t help but share this picture of the Golden Gate Bridge at dusk that I took a year or so ago.

If you mouse over the above picture you’ll see another image which represents “Unfinished”.  Jill and I were hoping to have sex once the baby was asleep, but as you can see, her work schedule has taken its toll on her.  We’ve got some unfinished business, wouldn’t you say?

See who else is being naughty this week!

I squeezed the bottle with both hands, but there was absolutely no give.  It was cold, too.  Ice cold.  Drops of moisture held fast to the outside, while the water on the inside had long since become solid.

“What do you think?” I asked him.

“It’s been in there for four hours.  It’s as frozen as it’s going to get.”

I got a couple towels from the rack in the bathroom and lay them down on the bed.  “Let’s do this, then.”

Jack tried using a pair of scissors first, but it proved too difficult to cut into the plastic with them.  The mouth of the bottle was too thick, or maybe it was the angle.  At any rate, the ice within made it near impossible to start cutting, not without ruining our new toy.

“Want to get a knife from the kitchen?” I asked him.  He shook his head.  In his nightstand drawer was a pocket knife.  He unfolded it and ran the blade along the bottle’s surface.  A few back-and-forth motions with the knife and the plastic split, creating a narrow gap.  Jack gently worked his fingers in, then peeled the plastic open.

What lay within was a beautiful dildo crafted of ice.  Jack held it aloft, presenting it to me.  “There’s a scrach right there,” he said, pointing to an area where the knife had grazed the ice.  It didn’t matter, of course.  Neither of us was expecting it to survive more than a couple hours.

I sat down on the bed, fishing through the top drawer of my nightstand for my bullet.  I had been looking forward to this for so long.  I lay down on the towel, looking up at the ceiling and clutching the tiny bullet as Jack got between my legs.

He began with a little head, licking and lapping at my swollen and very aroused clit.  Not enough for orgasm, of course, just enough to get me sufficiently aroused to take this icy beast.  Which now that I think of it was significantly wider than Jack’s cock.

His breath was hot against my lips, his tongue even hotter.  As his tongue stroked me I felt my temperature rising.  This was short lived.

“Get ready,” he said suddenly.  “This is going to be cold.”  I turned on the bullet and held it on my clit.  But the shock of the ice as it bit at my sex was so great that I dropped it.  It hit the towel on which I lay and buzzed along the bed.  Jack picked it up and handed it to me.

I replaced the humming toy on my aching clit.  I bit my lip as I felt intense cold against my opening.  I thought my heart was going to stop as my pussy opened to accomodate it.  Jack pushed it in a little farther, and then a little farther.  Before I knew it, it was inside me.

Despite my initial discomfort, I gradually became used to having a dildo made of solid ice inside me.  He worked it in and out of me just as he might any sort of object.  I kept a tight grip on the bullet as well, holding it on my engorged bud as Jack pushed me closer and closer to the brink of the coldest climax I had ever enjoyed.  But only one.

When it was all over, and I lay quivering on damp towels, Jack quickly withdrew the ice dildo from my depths.  It was much smaller now, and I realized that most of the wetness pooling beneath my ass was actually water, and not my juices.  He got up from the bed and placed it in the bathroom sink.

I was sad, when I woke the next morning, to find it gone.

In 2010, we posted fifty-two consecutive weeks of pictures at OHNT.  We’re posting them on our blog, one per week.  They can be found here, along with background information and all the comments they received.