Jill’s Answers

1. What star sign are you?
I’m a virgo.  Jack thinks this is funny because Virgo is symbolized by the virgin maiden, and its glyph is an “M” combined with crossed legs.  There may have been a time when I was a prim and proper virgin, but it’s been awhile.

5. Are you organised when it comes to other people’s birthdays?
When it comes to Jack and our daughter, I am very organized.  Usually their birthdays involve planning parties or other elaborate activities.  With everyone else’s birthdays, meaning my extended family and my close friends, I know when their birthdays are, but I usually find myself buying their gifts that day.  In some cases if I don’t see the individual on his or her actual birthday, I might buy the gift weeks later.

Jack usually takes me out to dinner, while the baby stays with a sitter.  I’ve also gone out to dinner with my family and friends.  It varies.  Last year, for example, for my fortieth birthday, Jack threw me an enormous surprise party and invited all of my nearest and dearest.  It was a fabulous time.

I choose age thirty-eight.  That’s when I was pregnant with our beautiful daughter.  It was a wonderful experience and a very fun year.  Even though I was forced to spend most of that time living a couple hours away from Jack and the home we shared, we made the most of the time we had together, and really appreciated every minute.  Plus, the anticipation of seeing and holding my baby was tremendous.  I’ve never felt so close to another human being in my entire life, and knowing that she was completely reliant on me, and that I was responsible for her, means more to me now than I can ever express.  I loved watching her development, talking to her, singing to her, and feeling her move and kick inside me.  Once she was born, the experience of bonding with her was very special to me.  Jack and I became even closer than we were before.

8. What would be your ideal birthday treat?
I’d love a trip to Europe or a Mediterranean cruise.  But spending time with the people I love would be more than enough.

Bonus:  Tell us your best birthday memory?
The surprise birthday party Jack threw for me last year was wonderful!  It was a beautiful day, most of my loved ones were there, and I was so touched by the amount of hard work that Jack put into it.  Plus, I was very impressed that he managed to keep it a secret.  I know how difficult it was for him to coordinate everything perfectly, and he pulled it off.  What a great guy!

Bonus, Bonus:  May we see you in your birthday suit? (post a photo)
Like you haven’t seen me in my birthday suit many times already.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Edited Tuesday, June 19, 2012 at 6:17 PM to include Jill’s somehow-omitted answer to #5.

I have a ridiculous libido.  I tend to get aroused the way a thirteen-year-old boy gets aroused:  Often and by virtually anything, or for that matter by nothing at all.  I could climax nine times a day, whether from masturbation or some manner of partnered sexual activity, and I’d still want a tenth, if not an eleventh as well.

Considering the variety of sexual partners I’ve had, I’m fortunate to be married to a woman who can keep up with me.  We are alike not only with regard to the frequency with which we both want sex, but also with regard to our personal limits and the things that turn us on.  Anyone who’s read our blog for an appreciable amount of time should be aware that Jill and I are a good match.

But that’s not to say that we’re always on the same page.  While perusing SexIs, the online magazine of EdenFantasys, I came across an article by Ava Darke, who says that her lack of satisfaction – through no fault of her partner but rather owing to her frequent physiological need of orgasm – has been responsible for many restless nights.  Ms. Darke confesses to having a difficult time sleeping when orgasm doesn’t occur immediately beforehand.


To some extent, I could relate to this; while I’ve never given much thought to the endorphins produced during orgasm, I am aware of the fact that sometimes – perhaps not every night, but relatively often – I prefer to be lulled to sleep by the good feelings brought about by sexual release.  Such was definitely the case Saturday night when, after having sex with Jill and then taking a shower, I got into bed to find my wife asleep.  Feeling horny once again, I knew I wouldn’t be able to just close my eyes and drift off.  I could have masturbated, but Jill was wearing a short T-shirt that showed off her ass, and even barely illuminated by moonlight the sight of her curves reignited my arousal.  I began to kiss and caress her, she woke up, and before long we were enjoying another round that I knew would provide me the high I so urgently wanted.

I usually don’t handle it that way, however.  If Jill and I don’t go to bed at the same time, and I happen to find her sleeping soundly when I come in, I usually just leave her be.  Since becoming parents, restful sleep is rare and precious.  If the baby has acquiesced to Jill’s efforts to put her to bed, and Jill is lucky enough to also be asleep, I’m not going to bother her.  Even though the next morning she might admonish me, might tell me that she’s sorry she missed out, might remind me that I am always welcome to wake her for sex, there is a good chance that I’ll just masturbate.  It’s quick, it’s easy, it satisfies my want of orgasm, and perhaps most important of all, it doesn’t require that I wake her.

Make no mistake, I don’t carry any sort of shame or embarrassment over masturbating in front of Jill.  I’m an unabashed masturbator; I’ll do it in front of pretty much anyone who cares to watch, with the understanding that it’s unlikely to be the greatest show on earth.  Jill enjoys watching; her healthy attitude about sexuality does not require me to hide my self-pleasure, or feel guilty about wanting more orgasms than I probably have time for.

Ms. Darke states that it was her own insecurity, and not any sort of indication that he would be unwilling to watch, that prevented her from masturbating in the presence of her husband.  When she finally initiated a dialogue on the subject, he told her that he would be happy to watch her masturbate.  I realize that there are some individuals who suffer from insecurity so debilitating that watching a partner get off solo would be problematic.  However, I suspect that the overwhelming majority of Americans, at least, would find such a spectacle highly arousing.  I know that I certainly do.

There have been many nights when the proverbial shoe was on the other foot, and I woke to a familiar buzzing sound and found Jill spending quality time with one of her vibrators.  At an earlier stage of our relationship I might have worried that perhaps she waited until I was asleep because she wasn’t comfortable with me watching, or because she was afraid that I would see her self-pleasure as a threat.  But she quickly dissuaded my fears, and now on the occasion that I wake to Jill getting herself off I realize that she, like me, just wants a quick orgasm.  Sometimes I quickly close my eyes and give her some time to herself; after all, if she didn’t wake me, she must have just wanted to have an orgasm and get to sleep.  Other times, though, I offer her some assistance.

My opinions on sex and sexual health are widely known.  I believe the world would be a happier, more easygoing place if people were conditioned to view masturbation – and for that matter sex in general – not as shameful but rather as a normal, healthy activity.  It may be somewhat naive to expect the entire world to adopt a positive stance with regard to masturbation, but I don’t think it’s asking too much for one person to be able to bring it up with his or her trusted sexual partner.  That otherwise openly communicative couples are unwilling or unable to discuss masturbation in the context of a committed, loving relationship is troubling.

Without a free-flowing dialogue on the subject, masturbation is doomed to remain something about which people joke, but do not or cannot discuss seriously.  It is clear that societal attitudes have to change.  The problem is that while the public is to some extent willing to consider sweeping reforms with regard to issues like marriage equality – in which personal freedoms are at stake – few see the marginalization of masturbation as the threat that it really is.

-Jack

This post was sponsored by EdenFantasys.

When you spend as much time getting dirty as we do, you’ve really got to work hard to get clean afterwards.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

Photo courtesy of Molly at Molly's Daily Kiss

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Coming to Terms with Being Gay - From the time I was seven I was raised Mormon, which meant I wasn’t allowed to have a girlfriend until I was 16 or to have sex until I was married.


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Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships


A New Found Respect for Bondage Educators
Cunt: Healing sexual abuse
Equal but DifferentFuck you. Without a condomHarper Eliot's Guide to Surviving Drop Alone
PolyAnna's Musings: What About the Kids 
Settling down--bullshit free


Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor


Sweet Valley High Meets the Story of Oh My!
Women's rape fantasies
Why May is Nat'l Masturbation Month


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Ache
A Word on What Your Words Do to Me
Anything the Lady Wants
Breathless
Cemetery Sex
Dropped Call
Fucking a Stranger’s Wife While He Watched
Folly, part 4
Getting His Attention
Jerk and Tug
Jill's Look Back at Masturbation Month
Like a Faggot
Phontographs (fiction, part 1)
Release
Senses and Scents
Spearmint Rhino
Swing: Part I
The Dance
Touch Me, Tease Me


Kink & Fetish


Earning My Wings
fantasy with beast/the train ride
His first crop spanking
Learn the rope of knots: Larks Head
Popping my anal cherry
Stress Relief
Staying power
The Cutting Edge
Tie Me Up! ~ I think...
Why chastity is hot
What I Like and Why

It didn’t matter that my webcam friends were likely completely aware of their baby’s sleep schedule, knew that he or she was unlikely to wake up, and were sufficiently accustomed to the child’s presence that arousal and orgasm were never in question.  To them, it didn’t matter that the baby was lying right there, sleeping soundly and perhaps cooing in a contented fashion.  It mattered to me.  There was no way I was going to be able to get off with a baby in my line of sight.

Even today, two years into fatherhood, I find it unseemly to have sex while my daughter is sleeping in the same room.  That is not to say that we haven’t done it; we most certainly have, though always out of necessity.  It’s never an ideal situation, and my body seems to be physiologically resistant to arousal when there’s a chance my daughter might wake up and find me fisting her mother.

Make no mistake, we’ve had sex while our daughter was sleeping in a different room, though unrestrained; if you don’t lock or at least close the door, it’s hardly any more of a risk than having sex while the baby is in the same room.  We’ve blogged about how she’s walked in on us mid-coitus, and while she didn’t seem traumatized by what she saw, I know I certainly was.  On the one hand, I know how highly I value my own sexual pleasure.  On the other hand, when my daughter walks in on us and we are unable to hide ourselves under a blanket because we are fucking in the middle of the living room floor, it makes us feel somewhat selfish.  That may be where the “Ick” came from.

But as I read the news article, it became clear to me that I can’t judge Swedish parents for their “Let’s fuck right here beside the baby” attitude; co-sleeping is very common in Sweden, as well as other European countries, certainly moreso than it seems to be in the United States.  Then again, perhaps it is more common in the United States than we’ve been led to believe; as the article states, in the U.S. there is such a stigma surrounding co-sleeping that those who participate in the practice are unlikely to admit doing so, making the chance of collecting accurate survey data very slim.

For the uninitiated, “co-sleeping” refers to the practice of letting babies and young children sleep in the same room – or even the same bed – as their parents, sometimes until the child starts attending school.  Co-sleeping reportedly has numerous advantages, including allowing the parents to get more sleep, or better sleep; increased stability and emotional health for the child(ren), and reduced risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, or SIDS.

As a rule, we never slept with our baby.  Sure, she slept in a bassinet in our room for a couple months, but as soon as she was able to sleep alone she had her own bedroom.  This was partially due to the fact that it was what we considered “proper”, or at least it was how our own parents had raised us.  It was also due in part to the fact that, when our baby was an infant, we found ourselves having a lot of sex, something that continues unabated to this day.  I didn’t want to have sex with our child present, and for this reason giving her her own space (and accordingly giving Jill and I our own space) was a must.

We have no interest in judging, whether positively or negatively, those who co-sleep.  We are open to various methods of parenting and understand that what works for some will not work for all.  But it bears repeating that our decision not to co-sleep was reached as much for selfish reasons as it was for the long-term benefit of our child.

I found the following passage from the Huffington Post article quite noteworthy:

American actress and attachment parent Mayim Bialik advocates co-sleeping and says that one of the questions she gets asked the most is how she is able to be intimate with her husband. Bialik says they simply don’t use the bed for sex. “We can be intimate in any other room of the house,” she explained in her book.

Wow.  TV’s Blossom doing the nasty.  Who’da thunk it?

So, has anyone tried co-sleeping?  Have their been any long-term effects, whether positive or negative, on your child(ren)?  And most importantly, what was the effect on your sex life?

-Jack

What’s the strangest thing you’ve masturbated to?


Jack’s Answer

Without a doubt, it was an unkempt hobo in an alley when I was twelve.  He offered me candy and toys if I put on a really good show.  I kept up my end of the bargain, but he didn’t.  Jill says that I shouldn’t have been taking candy from strangers, but he was only asking me to do something I was going to do anyway.  Despite being burned at such a young age, I never lost my positive outlook.

Okay, all joking aside.  I don’t know that it was strange per se, especially when compared to an unkempt hobo, but in December 2000 I was spending the weekend with family about an hour and a half from where I lived at the time.  As a constantly-horny male in his early twenties, I was accustomed to masturbating before bed.  If I was home, I would have watched porn on my computer, or even put in a VHS tape.  Remember those?  But I didn’t have access to any of that.

This was almost twelve years ago.  The concept of porn on demand was pretty much unheard of, certainly nothing like it is today.  I had no laptop loaded with digital porn or erotica I had written.  I had no smartphone.  There was no YouPorn, no Twitter.  Bringing porn along with you on a trip meant packing a few adult magazines in your suitcase.  I should have just used my imagination, but because there was a television in the guest room, I figured I’d see if I could find some visual stimulation.  I flipped through the channels in search of anything even slightly titillating:  Bikini chicks in some hip-hop video on MTV.  Lingerie models on the runway.  Even a semi-attractive local newscaster.

But I’m pretty sure that when the music stopped, so to speak, I was watching a commercial featuring no one attractive.

Jill’s Answer

Probably Fringe, the Fox television series about Fringe Division, a branch of the FBI that investigates paranormal occurrences.  I’ve been watching it since it began airing in 2008 (just a few days before we started blogging), mainly because Joshua Jackson is in it.  He’s hot.  He was hot on Dawson’s Creek, too.

I don’t think I ever masturbated while watching Dawson’s Creek.  I don’t know why not, but I do know that I’ve masturbated while watching Fringe.  I wish I could go into greater depth and talk about a specific episode or even a specific scene that inspired me to do it, but I can’t recall one.  I just know that when Jack and I were separated, I would set the DVR to record it and watch it late at night.  I’m usually horny late at night.  As I said earlier, Joshua Jackson is hot.  I hope I don’t have to draw you a diagram here.

In my own defense, I would usually pause the show and masturbate, then resume watching after I came.  Given the nature of the show I can’t imagine letting it play and being able to relax enough to actually get off.

What’s the weirdest porn you’ve ever watched?

Jack’s Answer

Claire James’ scene in a film called Extreme Penetrations 4.  Claire James is a porn star who was active in the early-to-mid 2000s.  I first came across her using the nom de porn Eva Malone on a now-defunct site called Eva Loves Cum.  The site was mostly POV videos of oral sex, and I assumed it was run by an actual couple.  When I found out that she was a pro, I sought out whatever I could find.  Eventually I came across this scene on a streaming website.

In the scene, Claire is out for a walk in the woods when she encounters something that I can only describe as a dildo monster.  Picture some manner of rubber-suited creature from a Japanese monster movie, albeit with numerous dildos protruding from its surface.  It’s the sort of thing one might see in a nightmare brought about by overindulging in deep-fried food and porn immediately before bed.  The creature attacks Claire, who does a fairly decent job pretending that she’s being assaulted by something that doesn’t look ridiculous.  Soon Claire gives into Dildo Monster’s advances and reciprocates.  She takes three dildos in her ass, followed by a load of a synthetic semen-like substance in her face.

This scene was equal parts strange and silly.  I didn’t masturbate to it; if I had it would have undoubtedly been the answer to the previous question.  I didn’t even find it arousing, despite the best efforts of all concerned.  It was, simply put, too weird for me, not brilliant enough to possibly be intentional comedy, nowhere near sufficiently amusing to function as accidental comedy, and too close to hentai for my own personal tastes.  All I was left with was legitimate curiosity:  Who would be turned on by something like this?

Jill’s Answer

A porn film from the late 1970s called Pizza Girls, also known as Hot & Saucy Pizza Girls.  In it, John Holmes is the owner of a pizzeria who employs a trio of delivery girls.  They skate around town in sexy but dated ’70s fashions, delivering more than just pizza, something that I found to be a clever spin on the pizza delivery boy cliché.  Meanwhile, a competing restaurant plots to shut down the pizzeria by raping the delivery girls.

Wait, what?  Yes, you read that right.  This movie includes a subplot concerning a serial rapist known as the Night Chicken.  The Night Chicken rapes a couple of the delivery girls (off camera), though the lighthearted, carefree tone of the movie never really wavers.  The girls don’t seem all that upset over having been sexually violated.  I’m not sure if it would have been worse if the film had been fun and comedic one minute, then terrifying and disturbing the next, but as it is it’s pretty unsettling to watch one of the delivery girls tell the others that she was raped as casually as one might tell of missing the bus, then pull up her top to reveal handfuls of chicken feathers.

I’ve never been a fan of story in porn.  It’s distracting, and I’d much rather cut right to the sex than waste time explaining why the pool boy is fucking the bored housewife.  Who needs a reason?  Pizza Girls goes a long way in demonstrating why a story is not only unnecessary, sometimes it’s not even desirable.  On the other hand, the sex scenes are pretty hot, and it’s always exciting to see John Holmes’ enormous member, if not his sunken cheeks, faraway stare, and his standard-issue porn star mustache.

What’s the last thing you masturbated to?

Jack’s Answer

A couple weeks ago, while clearing out one of my email accounts, I came across a story an old girlfriend wrote for me.  It was the fictitious account of a hot foursome that sadly never became fact.   It was all the more exciting to read because she wrote it at a time when she was just coming out of her shell sexually.  She and I would eventually engage in occasional monogamous group sex with another couple, and though she was never comfortable or secure enough to open up our relationship, non-monogamy remained a fantasy of hers as long as I knew her.  The story represented the first time she voiced such an interest.

Last night, while Jill slept, I read the story on my phone.  It was the first time in nearly a decade that I read it, much less masturbated to it.  The story was as hot as it ever was – hotter, even – and I had no trouble immersing myself in the action.

Jill’s Answer

An amateur porn clip featuring a British blonde being gangbanged by several guys.  I don’t know its origin, but nothing seems to be off-limits for the young star.  She sucks multiple cocks at once, she’s bent, prodded, and maneuvered into every conceivable position, DPed, then TPed (triple-penetrated, not covered in toilet paper), and finally takes multiple loads to the face, mouth, and breasts.  I didn’t put this clip on intentionally, but as I was looping an entire folder of porn clips, this is the one that happened to be playing when I came.  It was pretty hot though.

At the same time, I was also fantasizing about watching two online friends of ours having sex.  In my imaginataion, they started with oral sex.  Then they did doggy style with her bent over the bed as he fucked her with long, deep strokes of his hard, thick cock.  When he came, he pulled out, and she turned around to take his cum all over her tits.  Needless to say, I came hard.

Go see who else is being naughty this week!

-Jill

The sky was no longer black, but not yet the blue of the morning.  The dark silhouettes of the trees outside our window swayed against a sapphire background.  We lay together, bodies bathed in sweat as the physical pleasure dissipated and the comfort of afterglow settled over us.

It was four-thirty in the morning, much to our surprise.  We hadn’t had a night like that in years, but my in-laws offering to take the baby overnight meant we didn’t have to worry about being interrupted by late-night requests for milk, or for that matter waking her up.

Our neighbors, on the other hand, we hoped slept soundly.  The last of our many respective orgasms occurred almost simultaneously just moments before, the passionate sounds of mine triggering Jack’s own.  He came in my mouth, his volume surprising considering how many times he’d already climaxed.

“I want one more,” I said, my voice quiet but not at all sleepy.  He moved onto his side and lowered a hand between my still-warm thighs, his fingers finding my swollen lips.  I pushed him away.  “You can watch.”

As I ran my hand along my thighs, I felt my arousal building once more.  My other hand caressed my breasts, feeling their shape, their weight.  I pinched my nipples, feeling them harden as I rolled them between my fingers.  At the same time, I parted my slick opening and inserted two fingers.  I was still very wet.

I love to feel Jack’s eyes on me while I pleasure myself.  It’s a thrill to know how aroused he gets from watching.  I gathered my wetness on my fingertips and began to rub my needy, engorged clitoris.  I had hoped to give him a prolonged erotic performance, but I could already tell that I’d be lucky to last another couple minutes.

I took my hand off of my breasts and began to finger my hungry, dripping pussy.  My fingers moved in a circular motion, tracing long strokes around my opening.  At the same time, my other hand continued to fondle my ripe, throbbing bud.  I could feel myself ascend toward orgasm, my heartbeat pounding unrelentingly in my ears as I gave myself one last sweet, glorious stroke.

And then I felt my orgasm overtake me.  My body tensed, my legs straightening and my ass rising up off the bed.  I moaned louder than I had all night, the knowledge that this was perhaps my final climax of the night motivating me to make it count.  When it was over, I slowly sank into the mattress, the pillows ensconcing my head, beckoning me to a long-awaited sleep.

-Jill