Retro HNT: Up against the wall

“Up against the wall”, posted July 29, 2010

In 2010, we posted fifty-two consecutive weeks of pictures at OHNT.  We’re posting them on our blog, one per week.  They can be found here, along with background information and all the comments they received.

TMI Tuesday: June 26, 2012 – In the Summertime

(Questions courtesy of Andee at Sexy Northern Angel.)
Jack’s Answers
1. Summer is a time to escape, kick back and chill. What is your favourite way to relax when the warm weather hits?
I enjoy relaxing in a reclining patio chair beside a pool, or on a large blanket or towel on the beach or beside a lake.  Ideally I will be drinking some sort of ice-cold beverage – beer, soda, water – and listening to music or reading.  I’ll be wearing sunglasses and swimming trunks (or not, if possible) and nothing else.  Don’t get me wrong, if I’m near a pool or natural body of water I am eventually going to swim, but the question specifically asked about relaxation, and while swimming is fun it’s far from relaxing.

Don’t even pretend this shit isn’t hard work.
2. My first date was to a drive-in movie, what is your best memory of these classic outdoor theatres? 
In the interest of being family-friendly, I’ll tell you my earliest memory of the drive-in, though it’s worth noting that to the best of my knoweldge it did not occur in summertime.  There’s a much more salacious drive-in movie story that would qualify as my best memory, but I suspect that Jill will share it.  When I was about four or five, my parents took me to the drive-in to watch Robert Altman’s Popeye.  My uncle tagged along.  He and my Dad sat in the back seat, and my Mom and I sat in the front seat.  When Popeye was over, my Mom and I switched seats with my uncle and my Dad.  They watched another movie, while my Mom put me to bed.  

If that was too cute, here’s a picture of two people fucking! Enjoy!

3. Have you ever had a summer fling? How did it develop and why did it end?
Not really.  However, when I was sixteen I went to L.A. with my Mom for a work conference.  I met a girl who was staying at the same hotel and we had sex a few times.  I don’t know that I would call it a fling; I only stayed at the hotel for a few days, and while the situation was intense, fast-paced, and fun, it wasn’t the cliché summer fling in that I’m sure we didn’t pine for the other after we parted, especially since I already had a girlfriend.  Yep, that’s right:  This was the one time I cheated on a partner.  I wasn’t proud of it then, and I’m not particularly proud of it now, though the girl was pretty hot.  The situation developed when I ran into her in the hotel gift shop and struck up a conversation.  It ended when the conference did.  We lived far from one another, and as this was before email, there was no real expectation of keeping in touch.  You can read more about it here.
4. Board shorts and bikinis leave something to the imagination, but have you ever tried a nude beach?
As a matter of fact, we have!  On Christmas Eve of last year (again, not summertime), Jill and I visited Baker Beach in San Francisco, California to take our final HNT picture.  Portions of the beach are clothing-optional, and we briefly stripped off our clothes and got the shot we wanted.  We weren’t even certain if the part of the beach where we happened to be was clothing-optional; we certainly hoped so, as we didn’t want to be cited – or wose, arrested – on Christmas Eve.  We made certain that there were no children around, and for that matter as few bystanders as possible, before we dropped trou, but we were certainly the only ones naked on the beach.  While the skies were clear that day, it was pretty chilly out.
5. What are your thoughts on the Speedo and the Wicked Weasel? 


I’m not a big fan of the Speedo, mainly because I don’t think I can pull one off.  Actually, let me clarify:  When I hear “Speedo” I’m usually thinking of a super-revealing piece of swimwear designed for men, i.e. what is commonly known as a “nut-hugger” or a “banana hammock”.  Having said that, I acknowledge that Speedo produces a wide variety of swimwear for both men and women, beyond the stereotypical man-thong of the sort worn by Borat.  As for Wicked Weasel, I’d never heard of the term, but I see that it’s also a brand of swimwear.  My own distaste for wearing small predatory animals in my bikini area notwithstanding, their product looks both functional and attractive.  To be honest, though, I’m not the sort to drop a lot of cash on a swimsuit.  I look just as hot in something cheaper.

This is what I pictured when I read the question.
6. The warm weather is a great opportunity to get busy outdoors. Have you ever?
Of course!  We are big fans of alfresco sex, and have done it in a few locations, generally backyards or other places where we were unlikely to be arrested for public indecency.  Part of the appeal is the fact that it’s usually cooler outdoors, especially at night.  Another part is the fact that fucking outside is outside the box, so to speak.  It doesn’t fit into the tidy definition of what sex should be, and it’s nice to buck the system.
7. Sunrise or sunset? Which is your summer favourite?
I’m going to go with sunset, if only because rising before the sun is not how this lazy dude prefers to spend his summer.
8. What is the one summer delight that really quenches your thirst? How about your lust? 
I drink a lot of ice water, but it’s got to be really cold.  I hate it when I order ice water in a restaurant and the server pours me a glass of water from a pitcher that has ice in it, but makes certain that absolutely no ice ends up in my glass.  I ordered ice water, not ice cold water.  As for my lust, it’s got to be skinny dipping with Jill.  We try to skinny dip at least once a summer, provided we have the opportunity.  A good hour swimming naked with her under the night sky and all I can think about is sex.

To be fair, one hour of anything has the same effect on me.

Bonus: Summer is the time to participate in outdoor activities.  Where would you most like to have sex :
– on the beach?
– at a picnic?
– camping?
Will there be food at this picnic?
Jill’s Answers

1. Summer is a time to escape, kick back and chill. What is your favourite way to relax when the warm weather hits?
I’d love to be in a cabana getting a massage from a hot guy or gal, and when I was perfectly relaxed I’d go to the beach with a good book, preferably something sexy, and a fruity frozen alcoholic beverage like a daiquiri or a margarita.  I’d lie in the sun, close enough to the water to take a dip whenever I need to cool off.  And the baby would be with her grandparents so I don’t have to worry about her.  I couldn’t possibly relax if she was wandering close to the water.

And if her grandparents aren’t around…
2. My first date was to a drive-in movie, what is your best memory of these classic outdoor theatres? 
One of my best memories is the time last year when we took the baby to the drive-in to watch Tangled.  She was around nine months old and it was her first time at the movies.  We knew we wouldn’t be able to take her to an actual theater for quite awhile, and we had a lot of fun that night.  We all enjoyed the movie.  Plus, there aren’t many drive-ins around, and we made a fun family event out of going.  Since both Jack and I grew up with drive-in movies, we are so glad that she didn’t miss out.  Still, we know she probably doesn’t even remember the experience.  Jack says that I also have to mention the time we went to a drive-in shortly after we started blogging in 2008.  We saw Max Payne, and it sucked, so we didn’t feel bad about ignoring the movie and fucking with wild abandon in the car.  In fact, I think we went just so we could say that we had sex at the drive-in, and blog about it.  But I don’t think that we ever actually blogged about it.  
3. Have you ever had a summer fling? How did it develop and why did it end?
I’ve never had an actual summer fling.  One year I had a summer job at a movie theater, and I spent most of the summer flirting with a guy I worked with.  We only dated a couple times.  It wasn’t like we were making out on the beach in Grease or anything.

Or, for that matter, making out on the beach in Greece. 

4. Board shorts and bikinis leave something to the imagination, but have you ever tried a nude beach?
Yes we have!  I’m sure Jack already mentioned our outing to Baker Beach last year.  That was one of the most exciting things we’ve ever done, and it nicely indulged our exhibitionist natures.  As fulfilling as it was, though, I wish we could 
have had sex right there on the beach.  (We’ve also been skinny dipping many times, but that’s obviously not the same thing.)
5. What are your thoughts on the Speedo and the Wicked Weasel? 



The Wicked Weasel is definitely sexier than the Speedo, but that’s probably because in general I would rather look at a woman’s ass than a guy’s.  In my opinion guys look sexier in board shorts than they do in G-string type swimsuits.

You can take the cross off. The vampires don’t want you.
6. The warm weather is a great opportunity to get busy outdoors. Have you ever?
Yes, we have done it.  We usually do it in places where privacy is assured or at least likely.  We’ve done it in secluded areas while camping, but more often we do it on our balcony, or in a private backyard.  One summer when we were dating, Jack’s parents threw a huge pool party.  After all the guests had left and his parents had gone to sleep, we sat out in the yard and made out.  We eventually found ourselves on the grass, having sex under the moonlight.  When we had finished we gathered up our clothes and went inside.  The next morning, Jack’s innocent, naive (Jack would say clueless) mother asked if one of my sisters had left a swimsuit top out in the yard.  Turns out it was my bra.  I took it, thanked her, and told her I would check.  Before you ask, no, she was not trying to spare me the embarrassment.  She thought it was a swimsuit top, if only because it didn’t occur to her that Jack and I might have been fucking in their backyard.

7. Sunrise or sunset? Which is your summer favourite?
Definitely sunset.  I love watching the sun go down while sitting in a comfortable lounge chair on the beach.  Or on a cruise ship.  Or the Eiffel Tower.  Or anywhere, really.

Well, maybe not just anywhere.
8. What is the one summer delight that really quenches your thirst? How about your lust?

The thing that really quenches my thirst is a frozen drink like a daiquiri or a margarita, ideally consumed on a tropical beach at an all-inclusive resort, preferably a swingers’ resort.  The thing that quenches my lust is sex, obviously.  Lying on a beach being licked to orgasm?  That would quench my lust for sure.

Bonus:  Summer is the time to participate in outdoor activities.  Where would you most like to have sex :
– on the beach?
– at a picnic?
– camping?
Definitely on the beach.  Like in Grease.  Can you tell I’m a fan?

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

This May Have Been What Caused It

You may be aware, if you’ve been reading our blog for awhile, that group sex is something of an obsession of mine.  “Obsession” may be too strong of a word, but it really is something I enjoy.  In particular, I like the idea of group sex with me and several women.  Two is fine, but there’s really no topmost limit.  As I wrote last August:

Ever since I’ve been aware that sex existed, I’ve wanted to find out what it was like to have sex with two women. I think this is evidence of my greedy nature; if sex with one woman is fun, sex with two women must be really fun, right? Given my singular focus, it’s accurate to say that virtually everything I’ve done over the past fifteen years-plus has been in the hopes of making my fantasy come true. Studying a particular discipline? Choosing an apartment? Picking out a tie? Yes, every one of these decisions and countless others were made with the thought of pleasing two woman at once, and of course being pleased by them as well.

While going through some boxes last week, I came across some old MAD Magazines.  Though I hadn’t seen this issue, from April 1985, in possibly a decade or more, the sight of the cover immediately triggered something in my brain.  Certain that I knew what I was looking for, I flipped through it in search of one specific article – nay, one specific frame! – that, when viewed at age eight would have a profound, indelible impression not only on my sexual development, but on the entirety of my life from that moment on.

The article in question was entitled “Where Your Rock Album Dollar Goes”, and takes a satirical look at why records cost so much.  This was long before music downloads were a realistic concept, and the only way to acquire music was to walk into a record store and purchase a physical album or cassette.

The panel that potentially altered the course of my sexuality can be seen below.  It depicts a stereotypical ’80s rock star surrounded by a multiethnic bevy of groupies as a physician administers penicillin.  Admittedly, he doesn’t appear to be having a very good time.  In fact, he doesn’t appear to be in particularly good shape, hence the physician.  But I didn’t care.  From that point on, having two (or more) women at once became my singular focus.  This is (a) disturbing considering that I was eight years old and (b) pathetic considering that it took me twenty-six years to achieve this goal.

This is likely the first overt reference to multiple-partner sex to which I was exposed as a child.


-Jack


Sinful Sunday: Bathing Beauty

It’s very hot over here, and nothing takes the edge off like a swim.  You should come take a dip with me.  What’s that?  You didn’t bring your swimsuit?  You must know that’s no problem.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

Sinful Sunday

Formspring Friday: Stress Relief

Your spouse comes home from a very stressful day, how do you help him/her relax?
Jack’s Answer
The first thing I’d do is let Jill hang out with the baby for an hour or so.  Since she is away from the baby all day, a little quality time spent bonding would be an essential stress reliever for her.  After they’d read some stories and played for awhile, I would probably put the baby in her room with the gate up and plenty to keep her occupied.  I’d pour Jill a glass of wine – and one for myself as well, naturally – and let her put her feet up.  Then I’d give her a foot massage while she watched something on television or got caught up with blogs and Twitter on her phone.
The foot massage would likely progress to a full-body massage, after which we’d turn off the television (if it was on) and relax together on the couch for a bit.  Eventually I’d bring the baby out into the living room (unless she was having fun by herself, in which case I’d leave her to it) and prepare dinner while Jill enjoyed another glass of wine.  We’d eat dinner, enjoy some light conversation, and then Jill would relax on the couch with the baby until she was ready for bed.  
Once the baby was down for the night, I’d draw a warm bath for Jill.  I’d light some candles and let her soak.  I’d also wash her hair, as that’s one of the most relaxing – and simultaneously arousing – things she can imagine.  I’d rinse her hair and dry her off, then lay her down on clean sheets and kiss and touch her all over.  My own satisfaction is inconsequential; while Jill would insist that I get off, it would certainly not be my focus.  And by the time she fell asleep, all remnants of the day’s stress would be gone.
Jill’s Answer
I’d start by making Jack a drink, most likely a glass of Irish whiskey neat.  While he enjoyed his drink, I would take the baby out for awhile, probably to the park or the library, or else just to run errands with me.  Since Jack is with the baby all day and she doesn’t always nap, a little bit of alone time would be an essential stress reliever for him.  While the baby and I were gone Jack could relax, take a nap, do some writing, or maybe just be alone with his thoughts and enjoy the silence.  
Hopefully when we returned home after an hour or an hour and a half, Jack would be well-rested and far less stressed than he was before.  But just in case he wasn’t I’d take the baby into the kitchen with me while I prepared a delicious dinner, and she could read or play quietly, or even help me cook by getting the ingredients I need out of the refrigerator or cabinet.  We’d all sit down to dinner together and after clearing the table and washing the dishes, I’d put the baby to bed.  
Once she was asleep I’d take off all of Jack’s clothes and we’d enjoy a hot, steamy shower together.  After getting him clean I’d lay him down on our bed and give him the most incredible, relaxing full-body massage.  Needless to say, sex would be occurring immediately after the massage.  (That’s what you were waiting for the whole time, wasn’t it?)  The specifics aren’t set in stone.  It could be oral, vaginal, anal, or any combination of the three.  But whatever happened, Jack would fall asleep completely satisfied and totally relaxed, and hopefully he’d wake up to a much less stressful day.

If you want to ask us anything, drop us a line on Formspring, or use the handy Formspring widget on the right-hand side of our blog.  We like sexy questions!  To see who else participated this week, visit Twitter and search for #FormspringFriday!

Flash Fiction Friday: Bridal Shower

Carla’s feet rested against Maggie’s hips as she explored beneath the beaded silk.  Maggie pushed the dress up, letting it bunch at Carla’s waist as her tongue lapped and licked with abandon.  The intensity was too much, and she soaked Maggie’s face as orgasm overcame her.

Their bodies pressing together, they kissed hard, passionately, as though it were simultaneously the first time and the last.

They lay together in dreamy silence.  Maggie spoke:  “I was sorry that I didn’t get an invitation.” She savored Carla’s taste on her lips, savored the memories that accompanied it.

Carla’s supple breasts rose and fell urgently as she caught her breath.  “He doesn’t know about this.  About any of it.”

“You could have introduced me as your old college roommate.”  Maggie’s expression indicated half-seriousness, though it was practically the truth.  During college, they spent as much time in the other’s dorm as they did in their own.

More silence.  Maggie expected more of a reaction from her belated wedding present.  She got up, found her panties, and slipped them on.

“Well, glad I got to see you in the dress, anyway.” (187/187)

Behind the Scenes

For the first time in four weeks, a new Flash Fiction Friday prompt has been issued, this one courtesy of Ram the Sunlover.  In addition to the 187-word limit, participants were required to include the word “belated”.  I found the prompt photo fairly inspiring, though it was Jill and not myself who looked at the photo and immediately said, “That’s her belated wedding present.”

My first draft was a mere ninety words long.  Though it was very lean and far less detailed than the final draft, this initial take told the complete story.  I actually prefer it when my first draft is drastically under-budget, as it gives me some breathing room and allows me to flesh out aspects of the story that I initially could not.  I padded the story with some florid description, though in my opinion what was added doesn’t seem like fluff.

True to form, I forgot to include the required word, and after writing what was to be the final draft I spent twenty minutes attempting to incorporate mention of the “belated wedding present”.  It was difficult to determine the ideal place for said mention; I wanted Maggie to be the one to use that expression, either in her dialogue or in her inner monologue, and for some reason I had trouble making it sound natural.  Eventually I tacked on the reference in the penultimate paragraph, but I worry that it sounds stilted.

Deleted Scenes

Thanks in part to the larger-than-expected word allotment, there was nothing that had to be trimmed.  Quite the opposite; as stated above, I added a bit of prose to pad the story.  I also considered ending the story with Maggie telling Carla, “Maybe you should tell him.”  This would have implied that she was open to a polyamorous relationship with Carla and her new groom, or at the very least a threesome.

Additionally, I considered the title “Wedding Present”, but ultimately decided that it was a little too on-the-nose.  Though perhaps more of an obscure reference, “Bridal Shower” is suitably sexy, as it refers directly to Carla’s orgasmic emission.

Soundtrack

I like the sensual sound of “The Look of Love”, especially Dusty Springfield’s 1967 original.  However, Isaac Hayes’ cover is bold and brassy and would work as well.  Additionally, Sade’s “No Ordinary Love” fits well; the lyrics seem to fit Maggie’s perspective of a lover who has given her all and perhaps feels abandoned.

The Naughty Hangout: Height of Passion

The main theme at The Naughty Hangout this week is “Peak”.  We thought about posting a shot of me standing at the summit of Mount Everest, but for some reason we can’t find that picture anywhere.  So you’ll just have to settle for a shot of me climaxing.

Go see who else is being naughty this week!

-Jill

Wicked Wednesday: At the Movies

I sent her an e-mail letting her know that I was on my way.  She might not have seen a text message until she was leaving work to come home, but I knew she’d get my e-mail right away.

She replied immediately.  She was excited.  So was I.  We hadn’t seen each other in days, and while every instinct we possessed dictated that we immediately find a quiet place to indulve the unbridled passion we both felt, we wanted to enjoy a night out.  Soon, our opportunities to do so would be limited.

We found ourselves at a nearby movie theater.  The movie we saw is unimportant, and long since forgotten.  What is important, however, is the fact that we were the only ones there.  We arrived at an empty auditorium, and spent the twenty minutes before showtime watching the entrance with much greater attention than the screen.

We had naughtiness on our minds.  Why not?  We always do.  The thought of a little pre-show hanky panky was appealing, but we were certain that the moment things began to happen, the theater would fill with popcorn-munching, soda-slurping moviegoers who would quickly ruin our fun.

It never happened.  The lights dimmed, the trailers played, and the movie started, all without so much as an incursion from another human being.  We were well into the first act when it became clear that we had the theater to ourselves, and that there was no ignoring our desperate physical need.

Jill opened my jeans and fished out my cock, watching it rise to full size in her grasp.  As she pumped her fist up and down along its length, it occurred to me that the school where she worked was less than a mile away.  Granted, we were alone in the theater.  But what if we were wrong?  If we only thought we were alone, and we really weren’t, there would be repercussions.

These thoughts left my head as Jill leaned close and I felt her lips envelop me.  Her mouth was warm, her tongue damp.  She slowly slid down, swallowing me to my base.  She lingered there for one exquisite moment, and when she came up for air she swapped mouth for hand and resumed pumping.

My attention had already turned away from the movie, moreso when Jill got out of her seat and knelt in front of me.  Rather than squinting through the shadows to watch her head bob up and down, I tried to focus on the movie.  It was too late; I wasn’t into it anymore.  Instead I concentrated on how good my wife’s mouth felt on me, certain it wouldn’t be long before I was cumming down her throat.

When something near the theater entrance caught my eye, I tensed up.  Jill could sense it, and she stopped what she was doing.  She looked up, her eyes meeting mine in the darkness.  She didn’t speak.

“Get up,” I said.  “Hurry.  Sit back down.”  She did, and as I put my still-throbbing cock back into my pants and buckled my belt, I could see that she was staring at the door where I’d seen whatever it was that had made me tense up.

“Did someone come in?” she asked, her voice tiny, barely a whisper.

“I don’t think so,” I said.  She moved to open my jeans again, and I dissuaded her.  I pulled up her skirt, somehow unsurprised by her lack of panties.  She was wet, her arousal a welcoming scent. My fingers parted her lips, holding her open as my thumb found its way to her clit.  As I stroked her, my fingers slipped inside, finding a molten reservoir of lust.

My fingers reached her G-spot as my thumb circled her clit.  Jill threw back her head, gasping with pleasure.  She bit her lip to keep from crying out as I pressed into that familiar mass of flesh, the one that had all too often unlocked the most intense orgasms imaginable.  Her fingers dug into the armrests on her seat, squeezing as though her life hung in the balance.

When she came, when the torrent of her essence came gushing forth, I was surprised, if only because she had managed to keep fairly silent.  She drenched not only my forearm, but also quite a bit of her skirt as well.  I couldn’t help but muse that if anyone had entered the theater, we’d put on a much better show than whatever was playing on the screen.

“You want to…”, Jill began when she could speak once again.  I thought she was going to ask if I wanted her to finish what she’d begun with me.  She started over:  “You want to switch seats?”  We moved to the seats directly in front of us, and continued to watch the movie as best we could.  It wasn’t easy.  Our minds were on something much different.

As for whether or not anyone had walked in, we’re pretty sure no one had, but it doesn’t matter.  In the more than two years since this incident occurred, nothing ever came of it.

This week’s prompt: …I sent him (her) an e-mail…

Wicked Wednesday

Retro HNT: All finished!

“All finished!”, posted July 22, 2010

In 2010, we posted fifty-two consecutive weeks of pictures at OHNT.  We’re posting them on our blog, one per week.  They can be found here, along with background information and all the comments they received.