As much as I love it when Jill uses her hands in conjunction with her mouth, sometimes I like restraining her hands and doing all the work myself.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

I just whipped up a little something for your TMI Tuesday pleasure. Enjoy!

Jack’s Answers

1. Have you ever had an orgasm at work? How? Tell us the circumstances.
Quite a few times, actually. In my early twenties it was not uncommon for me to masturbate at my desk at work after hours. I’m not sure why I did this so often, beyond just being horny. In other words, I don’t think I got any major sexual thrill out of getting off at my desk at work. Additionally, I have no idea what I used as visual or mental inspiration; this was between, say, 1996 and 2001. There were no porn on demand the way we have it today. I didn’t have a cell phone, let alone an internet-capable smartphone with which I could access streaming porn, sex blogs, Twitter, etc. I have also had sex in no fewer than two of my former places of employment, including of course the office where I had sex with my boss Christine.

2. Do you ever fantasize about your significant other while you are at work?
I don’t believe I ever fantasized about my then-current significant other while masturbating at my desk as described above. However, as I currently work from home, I can say that I have definitely fantasized about my significant other, i.e. Jill, while at work. Though probably not as much as I fantasize about other women.

3. How old was the oldest person with whom you’ve had sex?
Late forties. Forty-seven, I believe. Granted, I was in my mid-thirties at the time, so that’s really not such a drastic age gap. If the question is simply asking for the widest age gap between me and someone else with whom I’ve had sex, it’s not much greater, perhaps about twelve years.

4. Have you ever fallen asleep during sex?
Yes, but only because I was drunk.

5. Have you ever cross-dressed or worn undergarments of the opposite sex?
One time when I was a kid I put on my mother’s bra as a goof.

Bonus: You have the power to banish one person from earth, who would you banish?
I guess my answer would depend on the specific location to which I’m banishing them. Am I banishing them to Hell, or a Hell-like region since I don’t actually believe in Hell? I’m thinking Dick Cheney. An alternate reality where human beings evolved from lizards rather than primates? Dick Cheney again. Outer space? And if it’s outer space, will they be banished to a sterile but hospitable space station or other relatively safe environment, or am I banishing them into the cold vacuum of space itself? Either way, Dick Cheney. Fuck that guy.

Jill’s Answers

1. Have you ever had an orgasm at work? How? Tell us the circumstances.
I don’t think so. I mean, I’m pretty sure I never have. I mean, I work with kids. At a school. It’s just not appropriate. Plus, if I got caught I couldn’t just get a job at a school in the next town. Professionally I’d be completely fucked, and not in the good way. It would be a total disaster. Basically, all the reasons why Jack and I require discretion in our sex life pretty much prohibit me from ever getting off at my job.

2. Do you ever fantasize about your significant other while you are at work?
Nope. Sorry. Look, my job isn’t conducive to sexual fantasy. There are kids around almost always, and when there aren’t any, I’m still surrounded by various things that don’t scream “sexy” to me: Art projects. Paint. Paste. Brightly-colored pictures. Blocks. Not to mention the threat of sudden interruption and discovery by a principal or other school administrator, or even a janitor. That’s just weird.

3. How old was the oldest person with whom you’ve had sex?
Probably around forty when I was in my mid-twenties.

4. Have you ever fallen asleep during sex?
Yes. After I have my last orgasm I’m usually very relaxed. Falling asleep does sometimes happen, and not always when I want it to.

5. Have you ever cross-dressed or worn undergarments of the opposite sex?
I don’t think so. Do boy shorts count?

Bonus: You have the power to banish one person from earth, who would you banish?
Just one person? I’d probably go with the entire Westboro Baptist Church. If I have the power to banish one person I’m sure I can arrange to ban the entire cult without too much fuss. Nobody wants them here anyway.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

 

This morning I decided to have some fun with Jill’s ass and a Wartenberg pinwheel.  As I gazed at the sharp metal pins moving over her soft flesh, I noticed the contrast and decided to take a photo.  As the prompt for Sinful Sunday this month is “Colour Filter”, I considered turning up the blue to give this image a decidedly late-night feel, but felt that the warmth of Jill’s skin was lost that way.  In the end, I increased the yellow and red to give her ass a suitably inviting glow.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

For the fourth time, Jill and I observed Masturbation Month throughout May. As we did in our previous Masturbation Month post, we thought we’d take some time to share some statistics on our respective month-long celebrations.

My orgasm-from-masturbation count: 62*
Sessions without orgasm: 9
Sessions with three or more orgasms in a row: 7
With Hitachi Magic Wand: 11
Kneeling or sitting: 29
Lying flat: 20
In shower: 13
While sexy chatting: 31
While Skyping: 3
While watching porn: 16
While reading blogs, perusing blog pictures, Tumblr, etc.: 12
Most frequent location: Bedroom

Jill’s orgasm-from-masturbation count: 49*
Sessions without orgasm: 2
Greatest number of orgasms in a single session: 4
With Eroscillator: 27
With other toy: 15
Entirely with fingers: 6
Other: 1
In shower: 17
While sexy chatting: 3
While Skyping: 1
While watching porn: 19
While reading blogs, perusing blog pictures, Tumblr, etc.: 8
With anal stimulation: 3
With G-spot stimulation: 12
Most frequent location: Bedroom

A few thoughts on the above data:

I was pleased with the apparently high number of orgasms I had last month until I took a look at the data for May of last year and saw that the two figures are exactly the same. That is not to say that I am displeased with my May 2015 orgasms, just that it doesn’t seem quite as impressive as it previously did. I’d consider counting my orgasms during some other month just to see if sixty-two is typical, but I’m certain that I was stepping up my masturbation game during the last two Masturbation Month. I’m guessing an average month sees something along the lines of forty to forty-five.

I notice also that the number of sessions without orgasm has decreased; this is undoubtedly due to the fact that my daughter’s tendency to interrupt while I’m enjoying a wank has also decreased as she’s become more self-reliant and capable of spending half an hour alone. However, I believe this is also part of the reason why the high-volume sessions, i.e. those with three or more orgasms at a time, are down as well. If I can expect to be able to sneak off to my bedroom for an orgasm or two while my daughter is hanging out in the living room, I don’t always feel as urgently compelled to have several in a row while she’s out of the house at school as I might have last year.

However, I do notice that my porn-watching is up, and sexy chatting is down, at least in conjunction with masturbation. Maybe it’s because I’ve found myself somewhat more rushed. I’ve got more obligations than I did a year ago, and accordingly, less time for getting myself off, which probably sounds really disingenuous in light of the fact that I managed to do so sixty-two times last month. However, while I’m always up for a flirty – if not downright dirty – chat with a sexy lady, sometimes it was more expedient to simply turn on some porn than it would have been to engage in a slow and sensual verbal tango via text, DM, or Kik.

In our previous Masturbation Month recap I mentioned shelving the Hitachi Magic Wand with which I’d been spoiling myself in favor of a more hands-on approach. While I did use it last month, I was down to eleven orgasms with it from the previous May’s twenty. While I do enjoy the sensation and find the orgasms to be pretty intense, I still have some concerns about sensitivity. I wonder if I should upgrade to the new rechargeable model which has four settings.

Many of Jill’s figures were close to the corresponding figures from 2014. Overall, she had three more orgasms this year than she did last year, and Eroscillator use was comparable. “Other toy” use was slightly down, because shower masturbation (using a waterproof vibrator) was also down, seventeen from last year’s twenty-three. Masturbation entirely with her fingers was higher than last year, though not significantly so.

Jill has mentioned that she’s relying less on fantasy and more on porn than she did a year ago. As is the case with myself, this is likely due to her own lack of time and sleep, as well as increased fatigue. While she still masturbates in the shower before work, she doesn’t do it nearly as often as she did last year, and when she does, there’s only an approximately fifty-percent chance that she’ll utilize any sort of fantasy as stimulation in getting herself off. When she’s masturbating away from the shower, she is most likely to watch porn on her phone.

(It’s probably no coincidence that the amount of fantasizing she’s done during sex is also down. I ask frequently what’s on her mind, because I like to be inside my wife’s head as much as I like to be inside her pussy; the things that turn her on also turn me on. However, as we often have sex at the end of a long day, her mind seems less likely to be completely engaged; typically in such a situation she’s more focused on her orgasm as opposed to the specific stimulation that gets her there. Thus, her answer more often than not is “Just focusing on coming.” However, we have some friends, both male and female, both online and off, who she has admitted to thinking about on her way to climax over the last four weeks.)

Unlike last year, however, Jill has gotten off reading what we referred to in our previous Masturbation Month post as “non-blog erotica”, namely Three of Hearts: Erotic Romance for Women, edited by Kristina Wright and Alison Tyler. It’s the only erotic anthology we’ve purchased of late, and given her love of threesomes it makes sense that it would inspire her to orgasm, even if only a couple times. I did not get off to the book during Masturbation Month, as I’d finished reading it in April and passed it along to Jill well before May first.

Oh, and that single instance of “Other” cited in Jill’s statistics? That was the time she humped the bed until she came. It was probably the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed her doing. Well, easily in the top ten.

In addition to the above-linked Masturbation Month 2014 recap, if you’ve never read our 2012 and 2013 Masturbation Month retrospective posts, they are definitely worth a look. Jill’s post and my own can be found in May 2012 and May 2013, respectively. We’d link you to the posts themselves, but we feel that if you go looking for them on your own you might come across other worthwhile posts.

*For the purposes of this post the masturbation count reflects the number of solo (i.e. not during partnered sex) orgasms.  In some cases masturbation was initiated but curtailed before orgasm; such instances are listed as “Sessions without orgasm” and do not count toward the main totals.  Totals are approximate as, especially in Jill’s case, multiples may occur in such rapid succession that it’s nearly impossible to keep track.

 

 

Welcome to June and the first TMI Tuesday for this month.

Jack’s Answers

1. You are interviewing someone to be your lover, what are the 3 most important questions you will ask?
1. Who did you vote for in the last presidential election?
2. What is your ideal date?
3. What is the greatest compliment you’ve ever been paid on your oral sex technique?

2. You are interviewing people to be your personal servant/valet. What are the 3 most important questions you will ask?
1. What are your personal strengths and weaknesses?
2. Are you good at keeping secrets?
3. What is the greatest compliment you’ve ever been paid on your oral sex technique?

3. You are selecting a pet for you or your family. What are the 3 most important criteria?
Obedience, loyalty, and looks. These are, perhaps coincidentally, the three most important criteria when it comes to selecting a pet for myself.  I think you know the kind of pet to which I refer.

4. Name 3 good things you did yesterday.
Went to the gym, held the door open for a random person, and…didn’t start any wars, I guess.

5. Name 3 bad things you ate yesterday.
A burger with a fairly high caloric content, some fries that were actually baked. You know what? I don’t think I ate anything bad yesterday, really. Jill made cookies, but I didn’t eat the whole batch. All things considered, I think I did pretty well yesterday. Even the relatively unhealthy things I ate were fucking delicious, and therefore I can’t in good conscience refer to them as “bad”.

Bonus: It is said that bad these happen in threes. What was your last episode of 3 bad things?
Probably the last three episodes of Dexter. Seriously, what the fuck was that?

Jill’s Answers

1. You are interviewing someone to be your lover, what are the 3 most important questions you will ask?
1. Do you like to be intimate?
2. How do you keep a relationship enjoyable?
3. Do you like giving oral sex?

2. You are interviewing people to be your personal servant/valet. What are the 3 most important questions you will ask?
1. How do you manage meetings and appointments?
2. What are your strengths for this job?
3. Why do you want this job?

3. You are selecting a pet for you or your family. What are the 3 most important criteria?
Housebroken-ness, mellow temperament, and loving demeanor.

4. Name 3 good things you did yesterday.
Took my daughter swimming, made a great dinner, and made a few batches of cookies for friends.

5. Name 3 bad things you ate yesterday.
Cookies, cookie dough, and chips.

Bonus: It is said that bad these happen in threes. What was your last episode of 3 bad things?
Three different people hit my car. (Not all in the same day.)

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Not much to say about this image, but I think it speaks for itself.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

A couple weeks ago I noticed that I had a new follower on Twitter. It was a pretty girl in her twenties, or at least that was the profile picture selected for the account in order to get the attention of guys like myself. To be fair, it worked. I clicked the link to my new follower’s profile and realized that its tweets consisted, essentially, of badly-misspelled clickbait, and the same tired memes everybody seems to be sharing on social media these days.

Still, I’d ventured this far, so I thought I might as well delve further. I checked out the pictures on the account’s profile page in the hopes of finding something sufficiently sexy, funny, insightful, or even mildly interesting that it might justify my having investigated the account in the first place. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t ultimately find anything that fit my criteria. Actually, I don’t remember exactly what I found there, with one exception. And the exception proved enough to make me regret straying from the happy status quo of my Twitter feed in the first place.

 

If you can’t tell what’s going on in the photo, or rather what some ignorant bros-before-hos misogynist wants you to believe is going on, allow me to explain: On the left side of the image are several rows of spectators at a football game. We are meant to focus on the woman in the foreground, who appears to be sending a text message. On the right-hand side is a note, hastily-scrawled on a strip of receipt paper, ostensibly warning the guy on the woman’s left – the one in the blue jacket and baseball cap – of a dire situation he’s too immersed in his Thanksgiving matchup between the Chicago Bears and Detroit Lions to notice:

hey bro, I don’t know you & you don’t know me. When you get home check your girls phone. She’s been texting “Jason” saying she wishes she was with him all day!

The story quickly went viral, with numerous media outlets picking up the ball and running with it. I found a very in-depth story on the non-event at something called Mad World News, which I’m sure is reputable based in part on the pop-up herpes treatment ad that greeted me when I opened up the story in my browser.

The story includes an interview with the supposed good samaritan, identified here as “Lye”. Okay, seriously? You come up with a likely fabricated situation clearly designed to make you look like a hero just so you can crow about it on social media, and your name is “Lye”? Dude, come on.

I’m not even going to comment on his use of loaded phrases like “being the man that I am” or “his woman”, nor the implausibility of Lye actually encountering the couple on their way out of a crowded football game. Have you ever tried finding somebody in the massive exodus that follows a concert or sporting event?  It’s damn near impossible, even if you’re sitting in adjacent rows.  In fact, why didn’t he just give the note to the guy as he was getting up to leave his seat?  And would anybody reading this really take the direction of a complete stranger upon being handed a mysterious note and wait until you got home before reading it?

Lye claims in his Facebook post that he was tipsy, which may be why he felt comfortable approaching complete strangers. However, I opine that the same factor could contribute to his having mischaracterized the situation. Maybe the three ballpark beers on which he dropped $27 clouded his judgment. He’s responded to critics who suggest that the couple might have actually been siblings by stating that from his vantage point behind them, with a bloodstream full of alcohol, he felt comfortable judging the situation. He claims that the woman turned away or otherwise hid her phone at any point when her supposed partner might have been able to see what she was typing. What if none of that happened, and the alcohol merely made it seem that way? Hell, maybe he just misread her phone, which a stand-up guy like Lye shouldn’t have been reading in the first place. But I’ll address that later.

I’ll be honest, I doubt that any of this ever happened. But if it did, I’m guessing that Lye was trying to break the couple up so he could fuck one or the other without worrying that it was technically cheating. If so, I’d love an update. Did either of them ever get in touch? The guy is doing media interviews – sorry, “media” interviews – so clearly he’s reachable. Part of me is inclined to believe that he’s a hypocrite who wanted to bang the woman (since he’s certain she sleeps around), but his care and concern for her supposed partner betrays an inborn sensitivity to his fellow man; I’m guessing he gives an out-of-this-world blowjob, and that that was his primary motivation for writing the note in the first place. After all, per the interview at the above link, Lye’s sole regret involves “the fact that I didn’t leave anything for him to be able to contact me on.”

It may come as a shock, but things that strangers type on their phones in a public setting are not the concern of some drunken stranger sitting behind them. If such an individual sees fit to read over a person’s shoulder, regardless of circumstance it makes that person an asshole as opposed to a good samaritan. Additionally, just because you’re too narrow-minded to attempt it yourself, understand that some people live their lives differently than you do, with contrasting notions of what constitutes fidelity.

I wouldn’t dream of reading my wife’s phone because I trust her implicitly, and I know that if she does happen to flirt with someone via phone I’m completely confident in our marriage. Besides, I’m probably doing it too. Anyway, if I wouldn’t invade her privacy like that, what do you think I might do to some snooping bag of dicks who thinks it’s okay to read over her shoulder? I’m not a violent man, but I kind of wish the guy had read the note as soon as Lye gave it to him, stated that the woman who’d been sitting beside him was a co-worker, his cousin, his poly girlfriend, or otherwise not sexually beholden to him, advised him to mind his own fucking business, and maybe kicked the shit out of him just to drive the point home. I would have absolutely loved it if that Facebook post went viral.

 

Officially, I still believe that none of this actually happened. As far as I’m concerned it’s a clear attempt to fabricate something for personal gain, in this case having the story go viral so that people – okay, men who are unconfident in themselves and in their relationships – think that he’s out there fighting the good fight. Much like the Stephen Glasses and the Jayson Blairs of the world, Lye was in the right place at the right time and saw something nobody else did. In posting about it, he betrays not only his own inherent misogyny and lack of trust in women, but also his feelings of inferiority as a man in a world where women fight every day for agency against the male establishment.

Maybe he got cheated on. It happens. In fact, maybe his mother cheated on his father when he was a kid, which would have led him to believe at an early age that women are untrustworthy, and perhaps set him up for a lifetime of disastrous relationships that would almost certainly involve infidelity. This would explain where such ambitious, large-scale paranoia as this Facebook post – or even his miscategorization of the couple at the football game – might have come from. But at the end of the day, he’s still just a prick sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.

Bottom line: Don’t assume. Asshole.

More questions about every TMI-er’s favorite topic courtesy of recusen.

Jack’s Answers

1. Which of the following best describes your view of sex?
a) Ritual
b) Game
c) Performance
d) Adventure
e) Other
Throughout my life, sex has been each of the above, with (e) standing in for a pretty broad assortment of off-the-board answers. Generally speaking, though, I would say that sex can currently be best represented by a combination of (b), Game; and (d), Adventure. Sex should be fun and exciting, and we do our best to make sure that it is. However, if I had to choose only one of the two, I would reluctantly go with (d).

2. What is your view of spontaneous vs. planned sex?
a) Spontaneous is always better.
b) Spontaneous sex seems rushed to me. I prefer a little warning to prepare mentally and/or physically.
c) I enjoy the anticipation before planned sex.
d) In my life circumstances, planning is required.
There was a time in my life when I would definitely have gone with (a). I can admit to enjoying spontaneous sex at least in theory, whether with my wife or with a new partner. In fact, with Jill sometimes the spontaneity that comes with segueing from performing a mundane task or going about the business of domestic bliss to fevered passion is tremendously exciting. However, I feel inclined to go with (c). Especially with a new partner, I find that anticipating seeing her naked for the first time, imagining what she sounds like when she climaxes, and wondering about the sweetness of her flesh on my lips is powerfully erotic.

3. At the beginning of sex, what is your most immediate worry?
a) It will take too long.
b) It will be over too soon.
c) You will be interrupted.
d) You will fail to please your partner.
e) Your partner will fail to please you.
f) Something will cause pain.
g) There is gong to be a discussion/argument about something.
Definitely (c). Our daughter is an expert cockblocker and always has been. Generally speaking she can fend for herself for awhile as Jill and I enjoy some alone time, but it is not unusual for her to come looking for us. In fact, as a stay-at-home dad, I know very well the frustration that comes with trying to sneak off to my bedroom for an orgasm in the middle of the afternoon.

4. At the beginning of sex, what happy result are you looking forward to most?
a) Pure physical pleasure and orgasm.
b) Pure emotional pleasure at being intimate with your partner.
c) Pleasing your partner.
d) A feeling of closeness to your partner afterward.
e) Not being so horny afterward.
Probably (a) and (c). Such answers as (b) and (d) are also important, but definitely not at the forefront of my mind, and I imagine the same is true for Jill as well. While we know that for some people sex is as much about the expression of emotion as it is about physical pleasure and release, for us the focus during sex is on the physical aspect. We can express ourselves emotionally when we’ve got our clothes on, in mixed company. Therefore it’s natural that I’d answer (a) and (c), though especially (a).

5) After sex, how long until you start looking forward to the next time?
Pretty much right away. If you haven’t yet gleaned from this blog, my mind is always on sex.

Bonus: Your ideal date would be
a. pizza and a movie
b. hot dog and a ball game
c. picnic and a bike ride
d. candlelight dinner
It probably depends on the person I’m with, but I’ll go with (a). Actually, Jill’s and my third date (which is the one where we had sex) began with pizza and a movie. Actually no. The movie came first, then the pizza.

Jill’s Answers

1. Which of the following best describes your view of sex?
a) Ritual
b) Game
c) Performance
d) Adventure
e) Other
(b) and (d). Sex is exciting and fun. There are elements of performance and maybe even ritual as well, but for me the most important qualities are excitement and fun. I want to enjoy sex, not get bogged down in arcane ritual.

2. What is your view of spontaneous vs. planned sex?
a) Spontaneous is always better.
b) Spontaneous sex seems rushed to me. I prefer a little warning to prepare mentally and/or physically.
c) I enjoy the anticipation before planned sex.
d) In my life circumstances, planning is required.
(a). I love spontaneous excitement. That isn’t to say that I don’t get pleasure out of the anticipation as described in (c), but there is a very tangible excitement that comes with being taken very spur-of-the-moment, without even an instant to prepare oneself.

3. At the beginning of sex, what is your most immediate worry?
a) It will take too long.
b) It will be over too soon.
c) You will be interrupted.
d) You will fail to please your partner.
e) Your partner will fail to please you.
f) Something will cause pain.
g) There is gong to be a discussion/argument about something.
If my daughter is in the house, I would have to go with (c). The fear of being interrupted is a very common and realistic one for us. The rest of the options wouldn’t even cross my mind. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, as the only real problem with sex taking too long is, again, being interrupted by our daughter. I don’t care if it’s over too soon because I’m never left unsatisfied. My partner and I never fail to please each other, and if pain occurs due to some sort of mishap such as falling out of bed or bumping my head on my nightstand, I’m not worried that it will lead to serious injury. I trust Jack and know that he takes care of me physically as well as emotionally. As for arguments, we don’t argue during sex. Actually we barely ever argue at all.

4. At the beginning of sex, what happy result are you looking forward to most?
a) Pure physical pleasure and orgasm.
b) Pure emotional pleasure at being intimate with your partner.
c) Pleasing your partner.
d) A feeling of closeness to your partner afterward.
e) Not being so horny afterward.
I’d go with all of them, but if I can only pick one, let’s go with (a). I love physical pleasure and orgasms. I’m not ashamed to admit that these are the major reasons why I enjoy sex.

5) After sex, how long until you start looking forward to the next time?
Immediately.

Bonus: Your ideal date would be
a. pizza and a movie
b. hot dog and a ball game
c. picnic and a bike ride
d. candlelight dinner
(a). I don’t get to go to the movies very often, and I like pizza. Actually I prefer the pizza I make at home to any pizza I could get at a restaurant, but I don’t know if it’s still an ideal date if I have to cook dinner. And (d) is a very close second.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

That is, the last second before Jill drops her towel.

See who else is being Sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

Good Morning. Let’s play TMI Tuesday!

 

Jack’s Answers

1. What three things do you expect from a relationship with a lover/spouse?
Honesty. Respect. Love, if it’s that kind of relationship. I want to say sex as well, even though there are few things these days that are more unappealing than a man who expects or feels entitled to sex. Still, if I have a lover, I doubt our relationship will be expressed primarily through sonnets and bouquets of roses; therefore I don’t think I’m out of line in saying I’d expect sex from someone with whom I had a sexual relationship.

2. What three things do you expect from a relationship with your child?
Back-talk. Whining. Lack of sleep. And these three things go both ways.

3. How do you mend a broken heart?
Distraction. Obviously there are those who suffer a broken heart and immediately turn to drink, or to a container of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. And I certainly have no problem with that. But for me, the most surefire cure for the blues is immersing myself in any of a number of activities that won’t remind me of my loss. If I can keep busy, I am less likely to feel the pain, and more likely to get over the breakup without any serious stumbling blocks.

4. What is your favorite therapy (remedial treatment of mental or bodily disorder)?
I’m not really sure how to answer this. I don’t actually have any therapy of this type. And I really need it. But the fact is, I raise a child and I run a business. I’m probably one of the busiest people I know. As my daughter gets older and more demanding of my time, I find that some mental therapy would be greatly appreciated. In the past, when she was younger and relatively less needy, I would stay up as late as three o’clock to decompress after a trying day. Now, however, she’s in school. As the parent who drops her off every day, and who sometimes volunteers in her class, I don’t have the ability to forego sleep. I don’t have the luxury of partaking of therapy. There are certain indulgences I enjoy, from rich foods to nightly cocktails to masturbation, but I don’t really consider these therapy. They don’t offset the stress of the average day, and even if my life was a lot slower-paced, I’d still be indulging in them.

5. Who in your life has an annoying habit? How do you deal with this?
I can’t think of any annoying habits, really. Not in the strictest sense of the word. Nobody in my family or circle of friends regularly crack their knuckles, spit when they talk, leave their turn signals on for blocks at a time, or chew with their mouths open. However, without going into too much depth, there are certain people who are close to me who seem not to approve of how I raise my daughter. Not because of our lifestyle, or my atheism or anything like that. They just take issue with how I discipline her. I’m not particularly strict, really – my daughter doesn’t require anything too serious – but I do discipline her when necessary. Which, now that I think of it, is precisely how the aforementioned certain people raised me. Oops – I’ve said too much.  Anyway, I deal with it by being confident in my parenting skills and always bearing in mind that I am doing what is necessary to ensure our daughter the best possible upbringing I can provide.

6. In five words, describe yourself. You cannot use the following words: funny, fun, nice, kind, responsible.
I am sexy as fuck.

Bonus: If in a long time, romantic relationship do you still flirt? How do you flirt with your significant other?
When I first read this question, I thought it was asking whether I flirt with others even though I am in an ongoing romantic relationship. However, upon a second read I see that it’s asking whether I flirt with my significant other. The answer is yes; I’ve always been very flirty, and I never understood why someone in a long-term relationship might become complacent and stop flirting. It’s fun, exciting, and often sexy to let your significant other know you’re still interested. Beyond flirting with words and body language around the house – something we both enjoy – I have been known to flirt in a more abstract fashion, such as leaving the occasional love note taped to the bathroom mirror for Jill to find. And we’ve got nothing against public displays of affection, though we are not Facebook flirters. Many of our friends are, and it always makes us wonder if they are posting romantic sentiment on each other’s Facebook pages for its own sake, or because they want everyone to see them doing so.

Jill’s Answers

1. What three things do you expect from a relationship with a lover/spouse?
Trust, respect, and love. I have other expectations, or hopes, but these are the most basic, and as such they are non-negotiable.

2. What three things do you expect from a relationship with your child?
Perhaps surprisingly, my first three expectations from my child are the exact same as the first three from my lover or spouse, namely trust, respect, and love.

3. How do you mend a broken heart?
As the old saying goes, time heals all wounds. However, if the relationship is still ongoing, it will also require a concentrated effort to regain my trust and respect.

4. What is your favorite therapy (remedial treatment of mental or bodily disorder)?
A long, slow massage, an intense workout at the gym, or a lazy, leisurely bath. Or all three!

5. Who in your life has an annoying habit? How do you deal with this?
My daughter responds to every direction I give with a counter-argument or question. In order to deal with it, I try to be patient, chalk it up to her strong-willed and independent nature, and give the direction to her in a different way.

6. In five words, describe yourself. You cannot use the following words: funny, fun, nice, kind, responsible.
Sexy, intelligent, interesting, emotional, loving.

Bonus: If in a long time, romantic relationship do you still flirt? How do you flirt with your significant other?
I still flirt with Jack. It’s just that we don’t often find ourselves in situations that are conducive to, or allow, overt flirting. Sometimes I might grab Jack’s ass as I walk by him, or whisper something provocative in his ear. There’s nothing wrong with being flirty in front of our daughter, as I think we are demonstrating that love is good and exciting, and not something that has to diminish as time passes. But I don’t necessarily need her to catch sight of me copping a feel on her father.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!