More questions about every TMI-er’s favorite topic courtesy of recusen.

Jack’s Answers

1. Which of the following best describes your view of sex?
a) Ritual
b) Game
c) Performance
d) Adventure
e) Other
Throughout my life, sex has been each of the above, with (e) standing in for a pretty broad assortment of off-the-board answers. Generally speaking, though, I would say that sex can currently be best represented by a combination of (b), Game; and (d), Adventure. Sex should be fun and exciting, and we do our best to make sure that it is. However, if I had to choose only one of the two, I would reluctantly go with (d).

2. What is your view of spontaneous vs. planned sex?
a) Spontaneous is always better.
b) Spontaneous sex seems rushed to me. I prefer a little warning to prepare mentally and/or physically.
c) I enjoy the anticipation before planned sex.
d) In my life circumstances, planning is required.
There was a time in my life when I would definitely have gone with (a). I can admit to enjoying spontaneous sex at least in theory, whether with my wife or with a new partner. In fact, with Jill sometimes the spontaneity that comes with segueing from performing a mundane task or going about the business of domestic bliss to fevered passion is tremendously exciting. However, I feel inclined to go with (c). Especially with a new partner, I find that anticipating seeing her naked for the first time, imagining what she sounds like when she climaxes, and wondering about the sweetness of her flesh on my lips is powerfully erotic.

3. At the beginning of sex, what is your most immediate worry?
a) It will take too long.
b) It will be over too soon.
c) You will be interrupted.
d) You will fail to please your partner.
e) Your partner will fail to please you.
f) Something will cause pain.
g) There is gong to be a discussion/argument about something.
Definitely (c). Our daughter is an expert cockblocker and always has been. Generally speaking she can fend for herself for awhile as Jill and I enjoy some alone time, but it is not unusual for her to come looking for us. In fact, as a stay-at-home dad, I know very well the frustration that comes with trying to sneak off to my bedroom for an orgasm in the middle of the afternoon.

4. At the beginning of sex, what happy result are you looking forward to most?
a) Pure physical pleasure and orgasm.
b) Pure emotional pleasure at being intimate with your partner.
c) Pleasing your partner.
d) A feeling of closeness to your partner afterward.
e) Not being so horny afterward.
Probably (a) and (c). Such answers as (b) and (d) are also important, but definitely not at the forefront of my mind, and I imagine the same is true for Jill as well. While we know that for some people sex is as much about the expression of emotion as it is about physical pleasure and release, for us the focus during sex is on the physical aspect. We can express ourselves emotionally when we’ve got our clothes on, in mixed company. Therefore it’s natural that I’d answer (a) and (c), though especially (a).

5) After sex, how long until you start looking forward to the next time?
Pretty much right away. If you haven’t yet gleaned from this blog, my mind is always on sex.

Bonus: Your ideal date would be
a. pizza and a movie
b. hot dog and a ball game
c. picnic and a bike ride
d. candlelight dinner
It probably depends on the person I’m with, but I’ll go with (a). Actually, Jill’s and my third date (which is the one where we had sex) began with pizza and a movie. Actually no. The movie came first, then the pizza.

Jill’s Answers

1. Which of the following best describes your view of sex?
a) Ritual
b) Game
c) Performance
d) Adventure
e) Other
(b) and (d). Sex is exciting and fun. There are elements of performance and maybe even ritual as well, but for me the most important qualities are excitement and fun. I want to enjoy sex, not get bogged down in arcane ritual.

2. What is your view of spontaneous vs. planned sex?
a) Spontaneous is always better.
b) Spontaneous sex seems rushed to me. I prefer a little warning to prepare mentally and/or physically.
c) I enjoy the anticipation before planned sex.
d) In my life circumstances, planning is required.
(a). I love spontaneous excitement. That isn’t to say that I don’t get pleasure out of the anticipation as described in (c), but there is a very tangible excitement that comes with being taken very spur-of-the-moment, without even an instant to prepare oneself.

3. At the beginning of sex, what is your most immediate worry?
a) It will take too long.
b) It will be over too soon.
c) You will be interrupted.
d) You will fail to please your partner.
e) Your partner will fail to please you.
f) Something will cause pain.
g) There is gong to be a discussion/argument about something.
If my daughter is in the house, I would have to go with (c). The fear of being interrupted is a very common and realistic one for us. The rest of the options wouldn’t even cross my mind. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, as the only real problem with sex taking too long is, again, being interrupted by our daughter. I don’t care if it’s over too soon because I’m never left unsatisfied. My partner and I never fail to please each other, and if pain occurs due to some sort of mishap such as falling out of bed or bumping my head on my nightstand, I’m not worried that it will lead to serious injury. I trust Jack and know that he takes care of me physically as well as emotionally. As for arguments, we don’t argue during sex. Actually we barely ever argue at all.

4. At the beginning of sex, what happy result are you looking forward to most?
a) Pure physical pleasure and orgasm.
b) Pure emotional pleasure at being intimate with your partner.
c) Pleasing your partner.
d) A feeling of closeness to your partner afterward.
e) Not being so horny afterward.
I’d go with all of them, but if I can only pick one, let’s go with (a). I love physical pleasure and orgasms. I’m not ashamed to admit that these are the major reasons why I enjoy sex.

5) After sex, how long until you start looking forward to the next time?
Immediately.

Bonus: Your ideal date would be
a. pizza and a movie
b. hot dog and a ball game
c. picnic and a bike ride
d. candlelight dinner
(a). I don’t get to go to the movies very often, and I like pizza. Actually I prefer the pizza I make at home to any pizza I could get at a restaurant, but I don’t know if it’s still an ideal date if I have to cook dinner. And (d) is a very close second.

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