i would like to watch my husband have sex with his ex is that weird?

Disclaimer:  In my opinion, words like “weird”, and for that matter “normal” and “abnormal”, don’t really fit into the context of sex and sexual desire.  Applying “normal” standards to what turns somebody on is just another way for the mainstream to control human sexuality, stigmatize free sexual expression, and force people into a box, so to speak.  On to your question:

I don’t think it’s weird at all, but then “weird” is a relative term.  There are undoubtedly plenty of people out there who would disagree with me, but I see nothing wrong with your desire to watch your husband have sex with his ex.  You don’t specify why you want to watch, but I know that Jill found the prospect of watching me with one of my exes exciting mainly because she wanted to see how my performance differed between when I had sex with my ex and when I have sex with her.  Additionally, Jill is a voyeur, and likes the idea of watching something private, of watching two people (or more, possibly) let their guard down and become vulnerable.  There’s something powerfully erotic about that scenario.

Is it normal?  Well, that depends on who you ask.  Sex-negatives and die-hard monogamists who disapprove of extracurricular sex would likely find the scenario you describe deviant, and the thought of letting one’s significant other stray outside the boundaries of his or her commitment morally wrong.  Others would say that it’s normal to have such a desire and perhaps even normal to act on that desire, but might caution you against letting your husband have sex with his ex as there may still be feelings below the surface.  Still others would say that your interest in watching your husband have sex with his ex is not only perfectly normal but completely hot, and if all three of you are equally into it, and if there’s absolutely no possibility of still-smoldering emotions on their end or jealousy on yours, why not give it a shot?

Bear in mind that it’s possible you won’t know how you’ll really feel about watching your husband have sex with his ex until you’re actually in the situation, and by then it may be too late.  It might be the greatest turn-on you can imagine right now, when it’s still an abstract concept.  But once he’s inside her, doing things that were previously reserved for you, your feelings could very well change.  Even if you’re certain now that you won’t be jealous, what if you’re mistaken?  Even if you aren’t prone to jealousy, what if watching your husband and his ex simply turns you off, and alienates you from him?  I’m not in any way implying that you don’t know your own feelings, but we’ve heard stories of people who were so focused on their partner’s pleasure that they neglected their own.

I note that while you say you would like to watch your husband have sex with his ex, your question could be interpreted as relating to a fantasy as opposed to something you are interested in pursuing and making a reality.  If that’s the case, no one’s opinion should matter except your own, and possibly your husband’s.  No fantasy that remains completely in one’s mind can be harmful in and of itself.

However, if you are hoping to turn this fantasy into a reality, the first step is discussing it with your husband.  Is he into it?  I know that there are several exes of mine that Jill would probably enjoy watching me fuck, but I’m not getting in touch with them for anything.  Is the ex someone with whom your husband is still in touch, and with whom the topic could be discussed comfortably?  In other words, has she become a born-again Christian?  Is she married to someone who is under the delusion that she was a virgin when they met?  Is she incarcerated or institutionalized?  If your answers to these questions are all “no”, that’s potentially very promising.  Additionally, if you don’t think it’ll be anything more than a fuck – again, no chance of those pesky emotions rearing their heads – I don’t see a problem.

I’m no authority.  If there are any points I’m missing, I’d appreciate a heads-up from anyone more knowledgeable than I.