Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The W.T.F. Meme: Promoting A New, Great Meme

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Posted in Funny Not Sexy Sunday Stealing Written by Both

Today we ripped off a blogger named Jennifer from her meme blog W.T.F. She’s taken on the challenge of hosting a meme three times a week on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. The questions she asks are unique. She works hard at it and I asked if we might steal 20 random questions (her memes are usually 8 or 9) to both challenges our players and to promote her meme.
So we are asking you to join us starting Wednesday. We know it’s a long way to Hump Day and Jennifer’s next W.T.F. Meme on Wednesday. So if you like these questions, write a note to join us starting on this Wednesday! [NOTE: We may or may not do this.] We have nothing to do with her meme, other than enjoying participating in it. So I was happy when she gave me her permission to promote the blog in search of players. Take the time to comment on other player’s posts. It’s a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!
Cheers to all of us thieves!
Jack’s Answers
1. One of my favorite TV shows recently changed the actors who played two characters. Have you ever been bothered by a TV show or movie series changing actors who play a character you love? While I’m sure I have been bothered, I can’t readily think of any instances in which this has happened and I have been particularly upset by it. Yeah, I know the example everyone points to is the Dick York/Dick Sargent switch on Bewitched, but other than the requisite “switching dicks” joke, it really didn’t effect me in the slightest. Bewitched went off the air four years before I was born, and I only ever knew of it as a syndicated rerun. And while I remember the changes that occurred on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Roseanne – the latter eventually changing back to the original actress near the end of the show’s run – neither one particularly bothered me. I suppose that, had a dramatic series I enjoyed been forced to recast, this might have affected me more than a sitcom.
2. A coworker recently shared a link to a blog listing the “five things you should know before dating a journalist.” As a journalist, I can honestly say the writer was spot-on. What are some things people should know before spending time with you?
1. I have a very dry and at-times unpredictable sense of humor.
2. If we have sex, you may never be able to have sex with anyone else ever again. (Needless to say, I never told anyone this during my single days, but they would certainly have been better off knowing.) While I am proud of my sexual abilities, this is not something about which I am particularly happy; I would much prefer it if I was a mediocre lover, and casual conquests didn’t become so clingy.
3. I’m a geek.
4. I watch very little television, and have almost zero interest in the current popular culture. I will do my best to keep up with any discussion thereof, but if our friendship requires that I watch Jersey Shore, it’s doomed to fail.
5. I’m a stickler for correct grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. I try not to judge anyone else for not adhering to the rules as I do, but it is admittedly difficult.
3. What is something you often do without realizing that you’re doing it? I’m kind of a smart-ass. Some people get this, and can tolerate my smart-assedness. Others don’t, but play along because they like me and want to be friends. As a result there have been occasions where I’ve said something that’s offended someone or that they’ve taken personally. But no offense was meant, and the last thing I would ever do is deliberately piss someone off. Well, most people, anyway.
4. Who has the capacity to make you angrier than anyone else in your life, and what in particular does he or she do to make you so angry? I don’t know. I don’t really get crazy scary fly-off-the-handle angry. I lose my patience, sure, but I don’t think anyone in my life causes me the sort of blood-vessel-blowing fits of anger described in the question. If someone made me that insane with rage, I doubt I’d keep them around very long. Even the people I’ve recently cut out of my life didn’t make me angry so much as they made me feel pity and think, “These people have no place in my life or the lives of my family.”
5. If a fairy waved a magic wand and gave you the house of your dreams, where would it be and what features would it have? As far as location goes, any relatively safe neighborhood in our general area is fine; we wouldn’t need it to be on the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean (hello mudslides) or anything out of the ordinary. The house would need to sit on a couple acres of land and come with free landscaping for life. It would include at least four or five bedrooms, among them a large master bedroom with attached master bathroom; spacious state-of-the-art kitchen as we both love to cook; some sort of area, ideally a large room with a couch or other comfortable chair where I can surround myself with books and read, or bring my laptop and write; a media room suitable for watching movies alone or entertaining company; a large playroom (i.e. not a bedroom) for our daughter that can be easily reconfigured to suit her as she gets older and presumably brings friends to play; and a yard which would include a hot tub, outdoor kitchen, dining area, and a decent-sized lawn on which Jill and I could have sex under the sun or the stars.
6. What’s a belief that you hold with which many people disagree? Definitely religion.
7. I used to talk in my sleep. In fact, I could carry on a conversation with someone when I was fully asleep, and my mom used this fact when I was a teenager to find out if I did anything wrong and was hiding it from my parents. If you were talking your sleep tonight, what do you think you would say? I usually go to sleep thinking about sex. (I’m usually thinking about it when awake as well.) I have no idea whether I talk in my sleep, but if I did I’m guessing I’d be talking about sex.
8. The fourth installment of the “Twilight” movie series (“Breaking Dawn Part I”) will be released in theaters soon. Movie theaters started selling advance tickets for midnight showings months ago. Have you ever attended a midnight premiere showing of a movie? Yep. I’ve done quite a few midnight premieres in my time. The most recent – and the only one since our daughter was born – was the last Harry Potter movie. Before we were parents, we used to go all the time, especially in summer as Jill’s and my own work schedules allowed the occasional night sitting in a movie theater until two-thirty or three. Now, though, such events are pretty rare, and judging by the crowd of hooligans at the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 showing we attended, this may be for the best. I’m not kidding. It felt like a prison riot in there.
9. On Tuesday, tigers, lions and bears were let loose in Zanesville, Ohio, by their owner before he committed suicide, leading to a hunt in which 49 of the animals, including 18 endangered Bengal tigers, were killed. How would you react if you saw “Caution exotic animals. Stay in your vehicle” being displayed on a road sign? I think I would have to obey the sign.
10. If a company opened a theme park aimed at adults, what would you name one of the rides? A Trip Through the Reproductive System. At one of two boarding stations fashioned to look like the testicles, riders board a several-seat car fashioned to look like a sperm cell, and blast off from the epididymis on a twisting, turning trip through the vas deferens and the prostate, and down the length of the penis before rocketing into the vagina, where their car will either take one path and zoom through the “egg” exit, or else find no egg and simply exit. (I’ve taken a note from the rides of the Disney theme parks as it’s been shown that variations minor and major make participants want to ride multiple times.)
11. Imagine you just moved onto Sesame Street. Which puppet would you want as your new roommate? I don’t know which one I would want, but I can think of a few I wouldn’t want. No Oscar the Grouch, for obvious reasons. No Elmo, because he’s an annoying dipshit. No Cookie Monster, because it seems like he’s got deep-rooted psychological issues and also because I doubt I’d ever get to eat a single fucking cookie while living with him. No Count, because he’s a vampire and I don’t want him trying to turn me or any women I bring home. Maybe the Amazing Mumford, because magicians seem to get a lot of action and I would be happy with his cast-offs. Whichever puppet I am saddled with, I would insist that the puppeteer be female, as I imagine our living arrangement will cause some sexual tension, and when this is eventually consummated I’d rather receive a handjob from a female puppeteer than a male one.
12. Have you ever had a weird crush on a famous person that didn’t make sense to you? I’ve never had a weird crush on a famous person that didn’t make sense to me. All of the famous people I’ve had crushes on have been appealing to me on some level, if not physically then for some other reason that is perfectly logical. The closest thing I can think of that would fit the question’s parameters is my desire to hate-fuck Ann Coulter, as long as there was no chance that she would become clingy.
13. If you get ten minutes to interview any celebrity of your choice, who would you like it to be? Some well-regarded and hot actress, singer or other celebrity. (Forgive me, but I haven’t a clue who fits these days. I’m that out of touch.) My reasoning is that ten minutes – or even five – is all I need to seduce this person. I have no desire to interview any random actor or actress for the purpose of asking them about their motivation in whatever role earned them the Oscar. I don’t have any interest in picking their brains. I don’t even care about being in their presence so I can say that I did. But sex? Yes, I’ll gladly have sex with someone for the purposes of making my friends jealous.
14. You’ve just won the complete DVD collection of all the movies starring one actor or actress. Which actor/actress would you pick? I’m going with Asia Carrera.
15. Actor George Clooney recently told People Magazine that he doesn’t use Twitter “because I will drink in the evening and I don’t want anything that I could possibly write at midnight to actually end my career.” What is something you’ve said through social media and then regretted it? I tend to be pretty cautious when social networking. Although, as a sometime writer, I find that a bit of alcohol helps the creative juices flow, I don’t usually Tweet, Facebook or blog while in an altered state of consciousness. When drinking I have occasionally said to Jill, “I hope I Tweeted that and didn’t post it to Facebook,” but I’m always kidding. I sometimes post political stuff which will occasionally get me a contradictory comment from someone who thinks along different lines, but I certainly don’t regret it. Oh wait! There was that time I checked into a nearby creek and stated that I was dumping a body there. I probably shouldn’t have done that. Oh well; water under the bridge, literally.
16. VH1 has re-introduced its hit show “Pop-Up Video,” which gives behind-the-scenes facts for popular music videos. What musician would you be most interested in learning behind-the-scenes facts about? I would like to know more about Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, specifically his favorite pizza toppings. He seems like a Canadian bacon kind of guy. Let me know when they air that one.
17. If you stumbled across someone’s personal written journal that was accidentally left in a public place, would you read any of the content? No. I’m not the sort to invade anyone’s private thoughts. And given that a nosy relative once read my own journal – yes, I kept a journal. So? – I’m doubly against such invasions of privacy.
18. What is the title of a self-help book that you’d never want to see on a store bookshelf? Blackmail Your Way to an ‘A’!
19. Many media outlets have been asking this question a lot this week… Which Halloween costume do you think will be overdone this year? I can think of a few, but while we were out last night we saw a multitude of Jack Sparrows. One of the people in our group was Jack Sparrow. There was an Asian Jack Sparrow at the next table, and one of the bartenders was also dressed like him. At the Power Exchange we saw at least two different Jack Sparrows: A tall and skinny one hung out in the lounge, while another stockier Captain Jack took part in a flogging scene downstairs.
20. Should a marriage license have a renewal date or expiration date, like a driver’s license? No. A marriage license isn’t a license to be or remain married. It’s a license to get married once. I have no idea whether such licenses actually do expire or require renewal if not used, but I would have thought that, upon actually getting married, the license expires, and would need to be renewed anyway. If it did expire over time, it wouldn’t be akin to terminating the marriage. That is what is known as divorce. This question made my head hurt.
Jill’s Answers
1. One of my favorite TV shows recently changed the actors who played two characters. Have you ever been bothered by a TV show or movie series changing actors who play a character you love? When I used to watch soap operas it would irritate me when they would change actors. I don’t remember ever being upset by this happening in a regular show that was not a soap opera, or a movie series.
2. A coworker recently shared a link to a blog listing the “five things you should know before dating a journalist.” As a journalist, I can honestly say the writer was spot-on. What are some things people should know before spending time with you?
1. I am very family-oriented. My family means a lot to me and anyone who spends a lot of time with me should be okay with my family. But they are great people, and they love to party, so I don’t think it will be a problem.
2. Lack of sleep makes me very easily irritated. It also causes me some short-term memory loss.
3. If you find my G-spot, you’d better have towels handy.
4. I am a teacher, which means that there is no other job in the world that I can do that will give me the slightest bit of satisfaction. Although actually earning a decent wage is probably nice too.
5. If you give me a plant, don’t expect it to be alive the next time you come visit.
3. What is something you often do without realizing that you’re doing it? I often play with my hair without realizing that I’m doing it. I run my fingers through it and play with my curls. Jack says it’s sexy.
4. Who has the capacity to make you angrier than anyone else in your life, and what in particular does he or she do to make you so angry? My first response would be to feel hurt by the actions of a callous or toxic person, as opposed to angry. Fortunately I don’t surround myself with this kind of person, so I don’t find myself being hurt or angry too often. Now if someone was to try and hurt my daughter, you would see some anger. But it wouldn’t last long as I would deal with the offense quickly and decisively and be back to my usual happy self.
5. If a fairy waved a magic wand and gave you the house of your dreams, where would it be and what features would it have? My dream house would be in our current area, as I like the weather and it’s close to not only family and friends, but the beach. It would have at least five bedrooms, four baths, and a huge kitchen with stainless steel appliances, marble countertops, and a Wolfe gas stove. The master suite would need to have a gas-powered fireplace as I don’t want to deal with wood. The huge backyard would include a gazebo and a pool, with an attached hot tub and fountain. Best of all, the house would have a four car garage that included four brand-new cars that were guaranteed never to break down. The house would come with free gardening and maid service, as well as a chef who didn’t cook every night, but did all of our grocery shopping and cooked when needed.
6. What’s a belief that you hold with which many people disagree? I believe in treating everybody with respect regardless of their beliefs, politics or external qualities. I initially said treat others as you want to be treated , but I changed it as I think most people believe in this but don’t practice it.
7. I used to talk in my sleep. In fact, I could carry on a conversation with someone when I was fully asleep, and my mom used this fact when I was a teenager to find out if I did anything wrong and was hiding it from my parents. If you were talking your sleep tonight, what do you think you would say? I’d probably be talking about how hot it was to have so many hands caressing my body Saturday night while Jack sucked my breasts and fingered my pussy. In my dreams, however, in addition to the guys there probably would be a lot more women touching me (and being touched by me).
8. The fourth installment of the “Twilight” movie series (“Breaking Dawn Part I”) will be released in theaters soon. Movie theaters started selling advance tickets for midnight showings months ago. Have you ever attended a midnight premiere showing of a movie? I love midnight showings. I never went to any before I met Jack, but it’s something we have done quite a bit. After waking up at 5 AM, sometimes it can be a chore to stay up until a midnight showing ends. It can be even harder to get up at 5 AM the next morning. When we went to see Watchmen at midnight in March 2009, I remember really liking the movie, although I must have dozed off at one point or another because when we got home at about 3:30 AM, I asked Jack why Brad Pitt was in one scene of the movie. “He wasn’t in the movie,” Jack said with an incredulous laugh. “That was the trailer for Inglourious Basterds.” What can I say? I was exhausted. I would also like to explicitly state that there is no chance that I will be seeing Breaking Dawn at four in the afternoon, let alone midnight.
9. On Tuesday, tigers, lions and bears were let loose in Zanesville, Ohio, by their owner before he committed suicide, leading to a hunt in which 49 of the animals, including 18 endangered Bengal tigers, were killed. How would you react if you saw “Caution exotic animals. Stay in your vehicle” being displayed on a road sign? I’d stay in my vehicle, and then probably drive elsewhere for the day.
10. If a company opened a theme park aimed at adults, what would you name one of the rides? The Pleasure Zone. It would be a virtual-reality attraction where you have your deepest, most intense fantasies fulfilled in the course of a twenty-second ride.
11. Imagine you just moved onto Sesame Street. Which puppet would you want as your new roommate? Grover. He’s lovable and furry and he seems like he’d be fun. I would say Big Bird but he lives in a nest and I don’t want to live in a nest.
12. Have you ever had a weird crush on a famous person that didn’t make sense to you? I’ve had crushes on Kirk Cameron and Michael J. Fox, and both seemed valid at the time. It was the 1980s. To be honest I had more of a crush on their TV characters than on the actors themselves. My crush on Kirk Cameron seems weird today given his religious leanings which don’t appeal to me at all.
13. If you get ten minutes to interview any celebrity of your choice, who would you like it to be? I can’t think of any celebrities I find interesting enough to interview. I think I’m kind of over celebrities at this point in my life.
14. You’ve just won the complete DVD collection of all the movies starring one actor or actress. Which actor/actress would you pick? Maybe Tom Hanks? I like a lot of Tom Hanks movies.
15. Actor George Clooney recently told People Magazine that he doesn’t use Twitter “because I will drink in the evening and I don’t want anything that I could possibly write at midnight to actually end my career.” What is something you’ve said through social media and then regretted it? I don’t think I’ve ever done this. However, I’ve had to be very careful not to post anything fun I did after calling in sick to work. For example I’ve had to avoid checking in or Facebooking about fun trips we’ve taken. I wish I had some lurid story about accidentally posting a picture of my hoo-hah on Facebook that I could share with you. Or actually, I’m really glad I don’t have that kind of story. My point is, I’ve never done that.
16. VH1 has re-introduced its hit show “Pop-Up Video,” which gives behind-the-scenes facts for popular music videos. What musician would you be most interested in learning behind-the-scenes facts about? Billy Joel. He’s my favorite musician. I would like to know more about him, and I don’t feel like rooting around in his trash.
17. If you stumbled across someone’s personal written journal that was accidentally left in a public place, would you read any of the content? No. I wouldn’t want this done to me, and I prefer to treat people the way I would like to be treated. Jack has done much journaling and all of his writing is accessible to me, but the last thing I would ever think to do is read any of it unless asked to do so.
18. What is the title of a self-help book that you’d never want to see on a store bookshelf? Perform Your Own Colonoscopy and Save!
19. Many media outlets have been asking this question a lot this week… Which Halloween costume do you think will be overdone this year? For kids, Rapunzel. Thanks to Tangled, we’ve already seen lots of kids dressed up as Rapunzel. For adults, I’m guessing there are many people going as “Occupy Wall Street” protesters, or well-dressed “We are the 1%” people. We saw a few of those last night.
20. Should a marriage license have a renewal date or expiration date, like a driver’s license? Of course not! The whole point of licensing is for the state to get money. Mandatory renewals means we have to pay again. Fuck that.

Sunday Stealing: The Questions Galore Meme Ends Today With Part 3

jackandjillcpl1 Comment
Posted in Are You Ready to Get Fucked? Cell Phones Ex Pertinacia Victoria Funny I Don't Want to Think on a Sunday My Brain Hurts Oz Quote Politics Rick Perry's an Idiot Sunday Stealing Written by Both
Today we ripped off a blogger named Jenni from the blog Juniper’s Jungle. It’s long, so we will do it in parts. She states that she found this meme Budgies blog. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player’s posts. It’s a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

Jack’s Answers

41. What is a quote that you love? “The worst stab wound is the one to the heart. Sure, most people survive it, but the heart is never quite the same. There’s always a scar. Which is meant, I guess, to remind you that – even for a little while – someone made your heart beat faster. And that’s a scar you can live with. Proudly. All the days of your life.” – Augustus Hill (Harold Perrineau), Oz

42. Do you think of pure hate as something humanity created? Having admittedly little understanding of hatred and why it exists, I will guess that pure hate is in fact the creation of humankind. I believe that hate is borne of ignorance and fear, and it is quite possibly instinct or human nature to be afraid of something different, be it a person whose skin color is lighter or darker than one’s own, or a person who doesn’t believe in the same god(s) we do. I can’t say for certain whether an animal such as a dog or a cat holds the capacity for hatred, but I’m guessing that they do not. I doubt that an emotion such as raw, unmitigated hatred, would even make sense to a dog. And cats always seem so damned passive and uninterested in everything.

43. When was the last time you wanted to scream? Probably when my daughter was misbehaving, acting hyper, or talking far too loud for Daddy to tolerate. Rather than screaming, though, I took a deep breath and considered that she was misbehaving because she is a normal child who likes to test her limits. She was hyper because she was fighting sleep, just as I did at her age. She was loud because she is discovering her voice and learning new words daily.

44. Do you ever at times see the world in black and white? Not typically. I am not good at examining abstract topics – I took a single philosophy class in junior college, underperformed and abandoned the field of study altogether – but I also tend not to take a hard-line stance on most situations. I tend to deeply analyze any given issue – some might say overanalyze – and attempt to view things from a multitude of perspectives. Therefore, it’s hard for me to simply adopt a “black or white” position on most issues and leave it at that.

45. Have you ever thought that cell phones are too obtrusive? No. This may be surprising, given how much of an old curmudgeon I must sometimes come off as, but I don’t have much ill to speak of cell phones in general. Sure, some people use them in bad ways; we’ve all been at a restaurant or in line somewhere and had to put up with some vainglorious piece of eye candy talking on her cell phone as though she was trying to be heard over an outboard motor. We’ve all had to deal with the inconsiderate asshole at the movies who answers his phone and begins a conversation while the rest of us are trying to focus on whodunit. But these complaints aren’t against cell phones but rather the people who use them. Generally speaking I appreciate my cell phone as it allows me to stay connected to friends and family, something I greatly value, and any concerns that they may be too obtrusive are essentially a price I am willing to pay for their existence.

46. In your life, where do you thank the rainbow will end? In a bag of Skittles.

47. What is something that you never want to do again? Work for someone who is not myself. Be in trouble with the law. Experience extraterrestrial abduction and rectal probing.

48.When was the first time you realized the world was small? The first time? Probably sometime in the mid-1990s when I began regularly using the internet. Today I feel that people, myself included, take for granted their ability to instantly send an email, or chat in real time – video chat, for that matter – with somebody on the opposite side of the world. But I vividly remember a time when such conveniences were not only nonexistent for the average person but probably not something most of us could even conceive. In the 1980s Skype was essentially Jetsons technology which, along with the flying car, we thought was the stuff of sci-fi legend. More recently, however, our many interactions with all of you – the bloggers who visit our blog, and whose blogs we visit – have shown us just how small the world is. We interact with people from various parts of the world as easily as if we were in the same room. We have enjoyed getting to know all of you. Hey, where’s my flying car?

49. How you spend your time contemplating life’s mysteries? Stoned. Okay, that was a joke. I don’t. Seriously, I don’t spend much time at all contemplating life’s mysteries. Oh, in the past I’ve found myself wondering what happens to all the socks that go missing in the laundry, and I’ve even wondered about the origins and purpose of Stonehenge. But to say that I’ve contemplated these things is a fallacy.

50. Ever discuss your political beliefs with people? Sometimes. I tend not to discuss my political beliefs with strangers, or with people who I know have opposing opinions. I believe that most people are not sufficiently open-minded to engage in civil or intelligent discourse and it is for this reason, and not due to a lack of communication skills or confidence on my part that I don’t feel that I can persuade the average person to see a different side of any given issue. (Despite what my family and friends say, I do not get off on arguing with random people.) I enjoy talking politics with like-minded individuals not because I crave validation, but because it does me good to know that there are rational people in the world.

51. Do you care about the environment? Of course I do. It’s where I live.

52. What’s your motto for life? “Ex pertinacia victoria”, which is Latin for “From determination, victory”. Actually, this is not my motto; I don’t really have one. In trying to come up with a good answer to this question, I discovered the Latin Motto Generator, and in playing around with it, generated this genuine-sounding Latin motto! It’s actually a pretty good expression of my personal philosophy. It may not have been my motto yesterday, but I think it will be my motto tomorrow.

53. Is progress destroying the beauty of the world? Here goes my tendency to avoid viewing an issue in black and white: This is a difficult question to concisely answer. I appreciate progress; I believe that progressing as a society is essential. If we did not progress, we might still be living in caves, sacrificing other humans to the sun. On the other hand, yes, I feel that unchecked progress is decimating the world’s beauty. Much of our rainforests and entire species have fallen in the name of progress. Sometimes I feel that, rather than “progress”, we should use the word “regress” to describe the sort of progress that actually makes the world less beautiful.

54. Do you believe there is life somewhere else in the universe? I don’t know, but I sure hope not. Can you imagine if they’re anything like humans? “First contact” will involve them massacring us en masse, then razing our cities in order to mine our natural resources. Any survivors would be placed in intergalactic zoos and circuses.

55. Would you like to rule a country? Hell no. Look, I understand the allure of power. Small men wish to be thrust into a throne in order to compensate for their size. I do not desire, nor do I need, that kind of power. While I am confident that such power wouldn’t corrupt me, and I suppose that I could use it for good, i.e. to actually better the lives of my subjects, do I really want that responsibility? No, I would rather not be saddled with such a burden. Add to that the fact that, in this day and age, it seems that most people live to complain about the status quo, which refers directly to me and my rule. I’m guessing some disgruntled prick would assassinate me. Yeah, no thanks.

56. Do you believe everything has a purpose? No. I’d love to be able to subscribe to the notion that there is some sort of master plan and that everything in the world is connected. But that’s just not me. With the amount of misery and tragedy we see and hear of on a daily basis, I can’t accept the notion that every occurrence happens for a reason. I can’t accept that there is a purpose when someone sexually assaults and murders, say, a four-year-old girl. I suppose it’s conceivable that the victim might have grown up to be a genocidal maniac, à la Hitler or Milošević, but we still put the killer in prison.

57. Is war ever for the best? Certainly wars can be fought for valid, noble reasons. When a downtrodden people have been oppressed, taking up arms and fighting their oppressors is a much better option than lying down in surrender. In this example fighting may be the only way to change the situation. I do believe that there have been situations where war is for the best, although the cynic in me feels that we have seen nothing but shitty reasons for war of late. And remember the following, immortal words of Bart Simpson: “There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: the American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy.”

58. Could you kill anyone in defense of self or loved ones? I hope so. As I stated in the first installment of this meme two weeks ago, I’d like to think that I would take whatever action was necessary to protect myself or my loved ones. But that most certainly doesn’t mean I would do it with any joy or enthusiasm; while I might want to kill the other person more than I want to die, I wouldn’t like the fact that they put me in this position.

59. How do you react to people (Such as Governor Rick Perry) who don’t believe global warming is really our fault? Rick Perry’s an idiot.

60. Does love conquer all? Though I am not the sort of steroid-amped aggro douchebag who looks for a confrontation everywhere he goes, I don’t believe in turning the other cheek. I feel that adopting a passive stance against the slings and arrows of one’s enemies only allows them to trample you.

61. Is euthanasia morally acceptable? Yes. Provided that it is carried out with the informed consent of the patient, euthenasia is morally acceptable. I hope never to find myself suffering from a terminal illness or otherwise so devoid of quality of life that I no longer want to continue living. However, if I ever am in this position, I would like to be able to die with dignity should I so choose.

62. Is world peace impossible? Impossible? Not necessarily. Likely? Nope.

63. Is pride a good or a bad thing? Despite its designation as one of the Cardinal Sins, at its simplest level pride is a very good thing. Pride makes us throw trash in a proper receptacle, and not on the ground. Pride makes us live in clean houses. It makes us brush our teeth, comb our hair, and wear clean clothing. All of these actions have been shown to improve the lives of those who participate in them. However, pride makes us try out for American Idol when we clearly can’t sing and aren’t even interesting enough to be regarded by viewers as “that really weird contestant.” Pride makes us wear a speedo on the beach when we should be wearing a muumuu. Pride makes us post pictures of ourselves on Facebook making that weird duck face that’s totally not hot. Pride really sucks.

64.What do you think is the purpose of your life? To make sarcastic comments and post pictures of my wife on our sex blog.

65. Do you believe in karma? No. I wish I did; I don’t really believe in religion and since Hell is thus out of the question it would be nice if I could at least believe that the jerkoff who cut in front of me in line in the grocery store would at least receive some sort of cosmic ass-kicking when the bagger put his watermelon on top of his bag of tortilla chips. No, in my experience the folks arguably most in need for karmic punishment are the ones least likely to get it.

Jill’s Answers

41. What is a quote that you love? “Are you ready to get fucked?” – Jack

42. Do you think of pure hate as something humanity created? Yes. I once saw two animals fight in a manner so barbaric that I found myself frightened despite the fact that I was watching the fight on television. When one of the animals was dead, the other did not in any way desecrate the body, or terrorize the animal’s mate or young.

43. When was the last time you wanted to scream? When I read this list of questions. Admit it, you did too.

44. Do you ever at times see the world in black and white? No. There are usually two sides to a story, and I am proud of my ability to see the story rationally, understand both sides, and come to a conclusion.

45. Have you ever thought that cell phones are too obtrusive? Not necessarily cell phones themselves, but the obnoxious people who use them inappropriately. I do feel there are certain places where cell phone use should not be tolerated or permitted, such as movie theaters, libraries, and above all, school classrooms. As a kindergarten teacher, yes, I have had to deal with this.

46. In your life, where do you thank the rainbow will end? I have no idea what this question means. On my daughter’s face?

47. What is something that you never want to do again? I was once abandoned in a foreign country by the friends I had come with. While I’ve found myself traveling abroad with people who I could no longer stand, and very much wished that I could ditch, I never actually did it, and besides, I am way too wonderful to deserve such treatment. So I hope that this never happens again. Something else I hope I never have to do again? Answer a list of deep, philosophical Sunday Stealing questions such as these.

48.When was the first time you realized the world was small? When I was orbiting it in the space shuttle. It looked like a little blue marble.

49. How you spend your time contemplating life’s mysteries? If I’m thinking about something deep and mysterious, it means I’m driving, and I’ve finished my audio book or otherwise have nothing to entertain me.

50. Ever discuss your political beliefs with people? No, I don’t. I don’t think the average person wants to debate politics with me. I’m not interested in arguing, and I think that most political discussions lead invariably to argument.

51. Do you care about the environment? Yes. I hope that my grandchildren can live on this planet without having to wear hazmat suits when they go outside to play. I want to do my part to ensure that their childhoods are not drastically different than mine and Jack’s.

52. What’s your motto for life? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, treat people the way I want to be treated, or some other variation of the Golden Rule.

53. Is progress destroying the beauty of the world? Probably.

54. Do you believe there is life somewhere else in the universe? Not really. Maybe there is unintelligent life. It’s an unimaginably large universe and I guess it’s a little arrogant to think that ours is the only planet with life. But I don’t know if I believe that there is an intelligent alien species somewhere, as I imagine they would be known to us by now. I know all of the theories about alien visitors who are supposed to have come to our planet, but I’ve seen enough science fiction movies to know that it wouldn’t be one little gray spaceman in a flying saucer. They would send a fleet.

52. What’s your motto for life? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, treat people the way I want to be treated, or some other variation of the Golden Rule.

53. Is progress destroying the beauty of the world? Probably.

54. Do you believe there is life somewhere else in the universe? Not really. Maybe there is unintelligent life. It’s an unimaginably large universe and I guess it’s a little arrogant to think that ours is the only planet with life. But I don’t know if I believe that there is an intelligent alien species somewhere, as I imagine they would be known to us by now. I know all of the theories about alien visitors who are supposed to have come to our planet, but I’ve seen enough science fiction movies to know that it wouldn’t be one little gray spaceman in a flying saucer. They would send a fleet.

55. Would you like to rule a country? No. I really don’t want the responsibility of ruling a country. As nice as it would be to have subjects who would do anything I ask, I do not want to be in charge of making decisions for other people’s lives.

56. Do you believe everything has a purpose? Yes. I think that everything has a purpose. I can’t say the same for everyone, though. What the fuck is Paris Hilton’s purpose on this planet?

57. Is war ever for the best? I don’t believe in war. I feel that everyone should get along. However, since this is simply not reality, I understand that war is sadly necessary, especially when people are being denied their basic human rights. In this kind of situation, when basic freedom is at stake, I do feel that war is for the best.

58. Could you kill anyone in defense of self or loved ones? Yes. I would fight back without hesitation, and kill if it was the only way to prevent the harm or death of myself or my loved ones. I am not a violent person. Most of the time I believe people are inherently good and I give them the benefit of the doubt. But if you are threatening my daughter, for example, I will do whatever is necessary to remove that threat.

59. How do you react to people (Such as Governor Rick Perry) who don’t believe global warming is really our fault? I hate to generalize, but because he’s a Republican I ignore him.

60. Does love conquer all? I wish I could believe so. It makes a nice slogan and gives us all hope that there can be an end to hatred and war. I appreciate love for the way it makes life better. But I don’t feel that it conquers all.

61. Is euthanasia morally acceptable? When your quality of life has fallen to the point that you can no longer perform basic bodily functions without assistance, you should have the right to end your life on your own terms.

62. Is world peace impossible? Yes. I don’t believe that peace is compatible with human nature. Unfortunately, there are too many in the world who oppose the idea of peace, and unless there is some sort of drastic evolutionary change, world peace will probably never be achieved.

63. Is pride a good or a bad thing? Pride is a good thing. Why would you wake up in the morning if you had nothing to be proud of? Why would you want to go on living? I can’t understand people who don’t take pride in themselves, their appearance, and their work.

64.What do you think is the purpose of your life? I think my purpose is to bring happiness to my daughter and my husband, as well as myself, and to educate young people, something I have been doing for more than fifteen years. I also think my purpose includes having the best sex possible.

65. Do you believe in karma? Yes. Ultimately, I believe – or at least hope – that you reap what you sow in life. If you are a complete asshole, something is going to bite you in the ass.

Sunday Stealing: The Questions Galore Meme, Part 2

jackandjillcpl7 Comments
Posted in Funny Meme Hatred Not Sexy Sunday Stealing Written by Both
Today we ripped off a blogger named Jenni from the blog Juniper’s Jungle. It’s long, so we will do it in parts. She states that she found this meme [at] Budgies blog. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player’s posts. It’s a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!
Cheers to all of us thieves!
[Note: When these questions were originally posted Jill and I pasted them into a word processing document in order to answer them. However, since then the wording of a few of the questions has been altered and in some cases questions were changed completely. The original three questions, and our answers thereto, are included as bonus questions.]
Jack’s Answers
21. What was the last song you listened to that wasn’t sung in English? It was either “Llorando”, by Rebekah Del Rio (Spanish), or “Vaka”, by Sigur Rós (Vonlenska/Hopelandic).
22. One of our SS players generally leaves a critical comment on our memes. Which is fine. All’s fair. Do you let meme authors know when you hate their memes? No. I generally don’t find blogging memes to be sufficiently important as to inspire an extreme emotional reaction, especially not hatred. If I don’t like something that much, I don’t participate. I certainly don’t bother to bitch to the person responsible. What’s the point?
23. What TV show would you like to be on? I would like to appear on a revival of Twin Peaks, with Idris Elba in the role of Special Agent Dale Cooper and either Abigail Breslin or Chloë Moretz as Laura Palmer. Rather than concerning the murder of a local homecoming queen in a small town in the Pacific Northwest, it would instead be about either human trafficking in a Texas border town, or the illegal poaching of Chesapeake Bay crabs in a coastal town on the Eastern Seaboard. I would portray the log.
24. What was the last video game you played? I’m pretty sure it was Metroid, the 1987 sci-fi adventure game for the NES. On the rare occasion that I have time to play a video game, I’m probably on my laptop, running an NES emulator and playing something from the mid-to-late-’80s, likely one of a handful of NES games that still hold my interest for replay value as well as nostalgia and overall fun. That said, it’s been awhile since I played.
25. Have you ever been in a musical? If yes, do tell. Sarcastic answer: Why yes! I find myself in a musical quite often. Why, just recently I was walking down the street on an unsually sunny day and I suddenly burst into a song worthy of Rodgers and Hammerstein. As I traveled along my path, the various townspeople I passed joined me not only in my walk, but also in my song, until I found myself in the middle of town, where everyone joined me in the town square as our song reached its culmination. Truthful answer: No. I’ve only been in the audience of a musical.
26. Do you follow your own style or everyone else’s? I think I follow my own style. On the rare occasion that I take a style cue from someone else, it’s certainly not “everyone else”, as I find the latest thing that all the kids today must wear/have/watch/do to be fairly shallow and vapid. Of course, as a thirty-five-year-old man, were I to follow the same trends as “all the kids today”, it would come off as desperate and creepy, so there’s another reason that I avoid it.
27. What’s the last store you bought from? I picked up a magazine from Barnes & Noble a couple days ago. That’s probably the last purchase I made.
28. In retrospect, have you ever let a person use you a lot? For sex? Not as much as I would have liked. In general? Not very much. I am pretty resistant to being used, though I am willing to do a lot for people who aren’t users and who appreciate my efforts.
29. What are you doing two days from now? Masturbating? I’m going to say masturbating. This is something I enjoy, and the likelihood of my doing so on any given day is high.
30. Did you ever believe there were monsters in your closet? There was a period in my early childhood where I didn’t actually believe that there were monsters in my closet, but I worried that at some point there might be. My parents’ bedroom was directly behind my own, and there was a passage between our two closets. I never heard a noise coming from their bedroom that made me think there was something in the closet, but knowing about the passage I did worry that something (a monster, naturally) could come and get me from their room while I was focused on keeping something from coming to get me through my bedroom’s main entrance.
31. When you graduated high school, did you let random people sign your yearbook or just close friends? As in, people I didn’t go to school with? No. The only people I let sign my yearbooks were those whose picture, or at least whose name, appeared in it. As for random people who attended my school, if asked I did exchange a signature with someone who was technically not a friend, i.e. a casual acquaintance or someone I’d seen regularly in the halls and at school events.
32. Would you consider adopting a child that had a mental illness? At the risk of sounding like a completely heartless asshole – something I may be, but I honestly don’t believe that I am – I probably wouldn’t. This is in no way meant as a judgment of mentally disabled children, or children with disabilities in general. This is more of a judgment of myself. I’m the father of a very active child. She’s wonderful and I wouldn’t change anything about her, but she takes so much out of me that it’s a wonder I am able to function at the end of an average day with her. Parenting is difficult though rewarding, and only the strong and committed need apply. The parents of disabled children have my respect, as while I am optimistic that I would be able to properly raise such a child, I consider myself very fortunate that the challenges I face daily as a parent are comparable to those faced by most parents. It’s not that I feel that a mentally disabled child isn’t worthy of my love, my time or my effort. It’s that I know my limitations, and given the extra work raising such a child would require, I would be very wary of letting said child down.
33. Does thinking about death scare you? Mine? Not really. This is not to say that I am in any way ready to die, that I am particularly comfortable or at peace with the thought of dying, or that when the time comes I will face Death bravely and go with him (or her) willingly. For all I know, even if I live a long and dignified life, when my time comes I will lose my shit completely and begin begging, bargaining, or offering anything – or anyone – nearby in trade. At the very least, I would rather not die anytime soon, as there is much that I still want to experience in life. But generally speaking, the thought of my death isn’t particularly scary, and I hope that it is painless. The thought of my loved ones dying, however, chills me to the very bone. Especially since becoming am a parent, the thought of harm coming to those I love is crippling if I give it much thought. Of course, it is for this reason that I do my best to avoid thinking about it.
34. If you died, do you believe that you go to Heaven or Hell and where would your spirit go? I’m going to say neither, as without having any definitive proof I don’t really believe that either place exists. However, I will play Devil’s Advocate here and say that, assuming that the idea of a traditional Hell exists and that this is where sinners spend eternity after they die, Hell is most certainly where I would go, as the Christian church and many other religious denominations seem to have a zero-tolerance policy for heathens such as myself. Through the sin of lust alone I would probably have condemned myself to eternal damnation years ago, as I think about sex pretty often. Maybe not every single waking moment, but I’d say that most waking moments. And quite a few asleep ones as well. Fortunately I don’t believe in Heaven or Hell, so I’m not stressing out over it.
35. Who did you last write a snail mail letter to and why? I haven’t a clue. Keeping consistent with my answer to one of the questions last week, I have no recollection of the ins and outs of my snail mail activities (when I used to have any). I literally cannot recall the last time I affixed a stamp to anything, much less to a letter and to whom this letter was mailed.
36. Do you care what people say or think about you? I care what some people say or think about me, sure. I want the people whose opinions I respect to think positive things about me, but if these people are, for whatever reason, determined to think poorly of me, I am not inclined to alter myself or my behavior in order to influence their opinions.
37. Have you ever been threatened? Depends how you mean it. When I was less mature I dated attractive women and sometimes I felt threatened when guys hit on them even though they were with me. I can be pretty competitive, and I didn’t take kindly to such incursions. Naturally the fact that I attracted women who encouraged other guys’ advances, as well as my own reaction to this behavior, is an indication of my insecurity at the time. Now I’m married and pretty secure not only in myself but in my relationship as well, and when Jill flirts or is flirted with, it simultaneously flatters me and turns me on. As for threats of physical violence, these are limited to the standard childhood and adolescent threats from bullies, though I’m hesitant to include these as they hardly count; and a couple women I dated who threatened to inflict great bodily harm on me when they learned that I have female friends. In general, I’m not particularly violent or confrontational, and I find that serious threats are essentially much non-existent.
38. Which side of your family do you get most of your qualities from? Definitely my Dad’s side more than my Mom’s. I’ve been closer to my Dad’s side than my Mom’s for the majority of my life, and I think my qualities, both positive and negative, come from my paternal grandmother, aunts, uncles, and cousins, and yes, my Dad as well.
39. What was the last thing with alcohol that you drank? I had a couple highball glasses of Irish whisky on Friday, and Jill told all of her followers on Twitter that I was too drunk to fuck her. (I wasn’t.)
40. Have you ever kept a relationship a secret? Not my own, but I have tried to keep a friend’s relationship a secret so as to prevent a vengeful ex from finding out. The vengeful ex found out anyway. It’s hard to keep that sort of thing a secret, especially in the current information age in which we live.
Bonus #1: What did you last draw? I used to draw frequently. From childhood to adolescence drawing was something I greatly enjoyed, and I could kill a sketch pad in a matter of just a few days. In college, I used to save my class notes not for the information contained therein, but for the copious doodles I would draw in the margins. I would draw pastoral landscapes, surreal scenes, still lifes, bad-ass action heroes, monsters, and scenes of violence so graphic that, had a teacher seen them in 2011 rather than 1991, I would have been sent to the counselor’s office where I would have fervently denied that there was anything wrong at home and news reporters would still have shown up on my front lawn to talk to my parents. These days, though, I don’t draw very much. The last thing I drew may well have been a very rough sketch of SpongeBob SquarePants for the purposes of amusing my daughter.
Bonus #2: Do you lick envelopes or tape them shut? Envelopes? Like for mailing a letter? As in a piece of personal correspondence (i.e. not a utility or credit card bill) which is physical in nature (i.e. not an e-mail) but is not a greeting card? Something that begins with “Dear [name]”, includes a few lines of text and closes with “Sincerely, [name]”, “Love, [name]”, “Fondly, [name]” or some similar sentiment? I’m pretty sure I used to lick them, but it’s been awhile since I mailed anything.
Bonus #3: What was the last thing you drank? A glass of water.
Jill’s Answers
21. What was the last song you listened to that wasn’t sung in English? I can’t think of one. Pass.
22. One of our SS players generally leaves a critical comment on our memes. Which is fine. All’s fair. Do you let meme authors know when you hate their memes? No. If I don’t like it, I just don’t do it. I remember skipping a TMI Tuesday once because we didn’t care for the questions. I can be critical when a situation calls for it, but I don’t think that a blogging meme will affect anyone’s life.
23. What TV show would you like to be on? I think I would like to be on a game show, one where I can win lots of money and fabulous prizes. Maybe Wheel of Fortune, but back in the old days when you used to be able to buy those overpriced prizes with the money you won. Unfortunately, you had to spend the whole amount, which meant $15 decks of playing cards. Sometimes they used to put the remainder on a gift certificate to Service Merchandise, but they’ve been out of business almost ten years now. And remember, once you win a prize, it’s yours to keep!
24. What was the last video game you played? I’m not sure. It’s been awhile. Something on the Wii, probably.
25. Have you ever been in a musical? If yes, do tell. I was in a production of Tom Sawyer when I was in the eighth grade. I know it’s not usually performed as a musical, but this time it was.
26. Do you follow your own style or everyone else’s? I follow my own style. I don’t really pay attention to trends, and when I do, by the time I notice something is in style, it’s on the way out.
27. What’s the last store you bought from? I bought a Princess potty for the baby from Toys ‘R’ Us today.
28. In retrospect, have you ever let a person use you a lot? I get asked to do a lot of different things for people, because I am pretty outgoing and generous with myself and my time. So I guess that, yes, people in general sometimes do use me. My own fault for letting them, of course.
29. What are you doing two days from now? Work, followed by a dental appointment. If there’s anything else planned, it must be a surprise because Jack hasn’t told me about it.
30. Did you ever believe there were monsters in your closet? When I was younger I did. I always made my parents check the closet before I went to bed, and the closet door had to remain shut while I slept. I’m not sure what I thought might be in there, but whatever it was, I didn’t want to know about it.
31. When you graduated high school, did you let random people sign your yearbook or just close friends? Mainly friends.
32. Would you consider adopting a child that had a mental illness? I would be open to it, yes. I think I would adopt a child with a mental illness if we had the opportunity and the financial means.
33. Does thinking about death scare you? Yes. It terrifies me, especially since having a baby. The thought of dying scares me, and so does the thought of my friends and family members dying.
34. If you died, do you believe that you go to Heaven or Hell and where would your spirit go? I would probably go to Heaven. I assume that they don’t really care about all the dirty but consensual sex I’ve had in my life. I can only hope that they’ve got more important things to worry about.
35. Who did you last write a snail mail letter to and why? I sent a thank-you letter to a friend in return for a birthday gift.
36. Do you care what people say or think about you? I really wish that I could say no, but I do care. I’m more concerned with how my relatives (and to a lesser extent my friends) perceive me. I guess I’m not as preoccupied by the opinions of random strangers or even casual acquaintances. But growing up, it was essential to me that I not disappoint my parents (who admittedly were not overly restrictive). I have carried this way of thinking into adulthood, and while I think it has helped me to be a better person, to some extent I feel as though I am sometimes inhibited by it.
37. Have you ever been threatened? Honestly, I don’t think so. If someone threatened me, they were so subtle about it that I never noticed.
38. Which side of your family do you get most of your qualities from? My Dad’s. His side of the family is more tight-knit, and he and most of my relatives on his side are warmer and more nurturing. My Dad’s side of the family also really knows how to throw a party and have fun, and I like to think that I have inherited this quality as well.
39. What was the last thing with alcohol that you drank? A Pisco Sour while at a dinner party with friends.
40. Have you ever kept a relationship a secret? No. I’ve always been very open and honest, and I don’t really believe in keeping secrets.
Bonus #1: What did you last draw? I drew a piranha on Friday. I was teaching my class to draw with shapes, and a piranha was the animal that tied into the oval shape.
Bonus #2: Do you lick envelopes or tape them shut? I lick them. It’s a good way to stay in practice.
Bonus #3: What was the last thing you drank? Water with dinner.