There’s a sex-positive boutique and cafe in San Francisco that holds a kinky Doctor Who meetup once a month. As a kinky Whovian, I’ve been wanting to attend for a few months. I first heard about the event in January and considered going as far back as the February meetup, but thusfar the date has always conflicted with a prior obligation. Beyond that, there’s the fact that we have a young child, and little in the way of Sunday-afternoon babysitting options.

This month, though, I was planning to be bar-hopping in the City with a friend on the day of the meetup, and I figured I might try to check it out as long as I was already in the area. In other words, I probably wouldn’t have made a special trip just for this event. Jill and I don’t actually live in San Francisco; it’s a bit of a drive, and parking is usually a pain in the ass. I could take BART, but being all boring and suburban I’m not much for public transportation.

However, it was for that very reason that I found myself determined to go to this meetup. My day-to-day life involves preschool and ballet classes, as well as public parks and libraries. It involves making nutritious lunches for my daughter, reading stories, and playing board games. The most adventurous thing I do on a daily basis is work out, and obviously that’s not very adventurous at all. So I really felt like I needed to step outside of my comfort zone.

My friend and I hit a couple bars within walking distance of one another, watching a playoff basketball game between sips of local craft beer. We grabbed a quick lunch at a park where some food trucks were gathered, and drank some more while watching the end of the game on a conveniently-located television. From there, we walked to the meetup venue. I wasn’t sure what to expect from a gathering of kinky Doctor Who fans; would we all whip out our sonic screwdrivers and compare length? Would we discuss recent Doctor Who-related porn films? Doctor Who as a metaphor for polyamory? Captain Jack/Mickey Smith slash fiction?

The friend with whom I was hanging out has an inkling that Jill and I are kinky, though he himself isn’t. Or at least, I assume not. I don’t know whether he gets laid, really, and I can’t say for sure that he’s familiar with the various bells and whistles of human sexuality outside of what he sees in porn. He’s the kind of guy who enjoys going to strip clubs but hasn’t really dated much. When we talk about sex he does so with the candor of a fourteen-year-old boy who’s pretty sure of how it works, but isn’t really confident enough to discuss it.

But he’s not the sort whose inexperience equals misogyny; he’s socially liberal and has many friends who are women, though I imagine he’d bristle at the “feminist” label. He’s not squeamish around LGBT individuals and presumably has as many friends in that cohort as anyone. To my relief, while he isn’t kinky, neither is he the sort to be weirded out by BDSM gear and the like. Still, when he noticed two young guys licking ice cream out of dog bowls in the cafe, I could tell he knew we weren’t in Kansas anymore.

We got drinks. My friend paid, as I’d picked up the last couple rounds. Then we sat down and people-watched for awhile. There was erotic art on the walls, bondage gear on the shelves, and kinky people all around. I felt at home there as I sat, eagerly anticipating hanging out with sex-positive Whovians, discussing the show, ranking the various companions in order of fuckability – Ace McShane for the win! – and maybe even getting a phone number or two.

At four o’clock, the scheduled start time, my friend took a walk to a nearby brewery, and I moved into the back room where one of the baristas told me that the meetup was to be held. The back room was smaller than the main part of the establishment, with six smallish tables. Five of them were empty. There was no signage that I noticed, no welcome placards or posters of any kind. As I walked through the room I saw that one of the tables did in fact have a very small sign indicating that I was in the right place. I took a seat there and waited. And waited. And waited some more.

The only other person present was an older gentleman working on a laptop at an adjacent table. I couldn’t tell if he was there for the meetup, or if he just happened to be hanging out. I noticed no sign on his table, though there were signs on the other ones. The guy wasn’t wearing a Doctor Who T-shirt, didn’t have a “Whovians do it bigger on the inside” sticker on his laptop. I drank my beverage, considering for a few moments that this whole thing might have been some sort of prank on the newbie.

After twenty minutes or so, the older gentleman got up from his table and collected the signs with the name of the meetup from each of the tables, and put them away. So I guess he was the event organizer. It would have been nice if, when I sat down at one of the designated tables, he asked if I was there for the meetup. Acknowledged me. Told me that the small turnout was normal. Asked if I’d seen the new Avengers movie, since the event’s Facebook page mentioned it might be discussed.

I should mention that I had a sonic screwdriver keychain on my key ring. I’d put my keys on the table in a noticeable but not obnoxious fashion in the hopes that someone – a cute hipster with a bob-cut, maybe – would see it and strike up a conversation, because let’s face it, that’s why I was there. I don’t really want to know which incarnation of the Doctor the older gentleman with the laptop fancies. Nothing against him, of course. I’m sure he’s a nice guy and the fact that he threw together a Doctor Who gathering for kinksters means he’s good people. But I’m mainly interested in meeting, discussing Doctor Who with, and fucking, women.

But the sonic screwdriver was right there on the table. In other words, it’s not like the older gentleman would have looked at me and thought, “Oh, some idiot who stumbled in and decided to sit at the wrong table. Hey jackass, can’t you read the sign? That table’s for kinky Doctor Who fans only.” Granted, I’m assuming that he didn’t look over at the table where I was sitting and think, “Another meetup with no women. Just some guy. Fuck this shit. I’m out of here.” You know, kind of like I might have done. But if that’s not what he was thinking, he should have said something. Anything. Yeah, I’m basically a walking support system for a hard-on, but I’m approachable to pretty much anybody.

I waited until half past four, and then I reluctantly got out of there. On the way, I browsed the kinky bookshelves and actually noticed a couple books I wouldn’t mind getting for our own kinky bookshelves at home. Still, I can’t see myself returning for the next meetup. Perhaps for a different event, but even then, it seems unlikely. I wish there was a place like this in our quiet but bustling suburb, a place ten minutes away, max. A place where I don’t have to get on BART or spend forty minutes looking for parking just to find out that no one else showed up. We’ve got a thriving Downtown that could really stand an establishment like this one, where consenting adults can have coffee while browsing cock cages and floggers, or eat lunch in the shadow of a Saint Andrew’s Cross.

Still, I don’t see it happening. Our little city has a few adult stores, but they all fit the standard paradigm of the seedy porn-and-toy shop where one goes to rent videos or browse toys while avoiding eye contact with staff and raincoat-clad patrons and definitely not inquiring whether that one particular vibrator is phthalate-free. The kind of place where, if you happen to run into an acquaintance, you each hope the other didn’t see you, and you sure as hell don’t bring it up at the church picnic. You don’t hang out there and drink an espresso. You get in and you get the fuck out. True sex-positivity, in the suburbs? Probably not in my lifetime.

The meetup was a disappointment, but I made the most of the afternoon by catching up with my friend and a couple of his friends at the brewery. The place was far less kinky than the other venue, but at least the beer was good.

First TMI Tuesday for the Month of May.

Jack’s Answers

1. How long have you been blogging?
Frisky in the 916 represents my first venture into the blogosphere, though it’s far from my only one. We published our first post on September 18, 2008, which means we’ve been blogging more than six and a half years.

2. Tell us about your pen name? Is it a pen name?
Since we couldn’t blog under our real names, Jill and I needed alternate personalities to use online. We chose Jack and Jill not necessarily because of the masturbatory overtones, i.e. jacking off and jilling off, but because they were the first pair of associated male and female names that came to mind. Had our minds been elsewhere, we might have been Mickey and Minnie, Luke and Leia, or even Sheherazade and Shahryar.

3. What is your blog about?
Here at Frisky in the 916 we pride ourselves on delivering you breaking news from the tech industry as soon as it breaks. So, you know, technology, startups, and all the hot new gadgets, plus all the latest out of Cupertino. As if you couldn’t tell with a casual glance around the place.

4. Do you earn any money with your blog?
No. Between 2012 and 2013, I believe, we published a handful of sponsored posts on behalf of a certain adult retail website. In exchange, we received credit toward merchandise at said adult retail website and used it to purchase a few items. In 2013, after a series of bizarre moves on the part of the site’s management, we bailed, leaving more than a few dollars of earned credit unspent. It’s just as well; by then they’d implemented a new policy preventing bloggers from using that credit for 100 percent of a purchase. In other words, no matter how many sponsored posts you’d published, you still had to come out of pocket for that Tantus Raptor XL, or whatever. Anyway, we removed most if not all references to said retailer from our blog and unfollowed them on Twitter, because fuck those guys.

5. What inspired you to blog?
As we’ve mentioned elsewhere, we had always wanted a venue to discuss our sexual thoughts and fantasies, and to talk about the sex we’ve actually had. In short, we just wanted a forum to share this side of ourselves as it’s not something we could do in mixed company; most of our friends are far more sexually conservative than we are, at least publicly. Therefore it’s nice to have at the very least a means of communicating about sex, as well as a permanent record of our evolving views and boundaries. Beyond that, the thought of perhaps finding a coterie of like-minded friends – something we never thought possible – was appealing as well.

6. What keeps you blogging?
It’s funny you should ask. Between July of 2010 and August of 2011, our blog went dark. We published absolutely nothing for thirteen months. Among the reasons for this were the fact that we were adjusting to parenthood, that we’d forgotten our login to our old Blogger blog, and that we’d had a threesome in fall of 2010 – our first – and accordingly I saw no real reason to keep blogging as I figured I’d achieved everything I wanted to in the sexual realm. Eventually, however, I found that I really missed having the outlet, and of course I wasn’t done growing and evolving sexually. Therefore we jumped back into blogging in a big way, and while we’ve taken breaks here and there, we keep coming back to it. I’d love to say that the sense of community is what keeps us blogging – me especially – but the truth is, most of our non-Sinful Sunday posts get few if any comments, even on Twitter. Therefore, the thing that keeps me blogging is the Sara Winchester-like sense that I’m building something with this blog, and by stopping I’m doing myself a disservice. Additionally, the lack of feedback notwithstanding, I may be doing others a disservice as well. I’ve been a writer for decades, but nothing I’ve written outside of this blog has been read by as many people the world over. It’s pretty exciting.

7. Do you have any advice for readers looking for love? Looking to get laid? Looking for a threesome?
Love yourself. Seriously, know who you are, believe in yourself, and be confident. That may seem like an oversimplification, but if you don’t love yourself no one else is going to. Know your worth as a human being, and as a sexual being as well. Don’t act like an entitled prick, but don’t act like you believe yourself to be unworthy of the attention of others. And if you want a threesome, I’m sure there are many ways to go about having one, but having the confidence and self-respect to attract the right partner – if a partner is part of your plan – will ensure that you’re not saddled with someone whose long-term life agenda corresponds to your own.

8. Did you do your kegels today? When was the last time you did them? (Men: There is no evidence that kegels prevent erectile dysfunction. Source: WebMD)
No, but I masturbated. Did you? You should! It’s Masturbation Month!

Bonus: Do you have any special sexual gifts or talents or tricks? Tell us about it.
It’s been said that I’m very good at finding the G-spot.

Jill’s Answers

1. How long have you been blogging?
Since 2008. We’d been married just over a year, and sought a means of keeping an ongoing record of our sex life that we could look back on when we were senior citizens (and hopefully still enjoying a prodigious sex life).

2. Tell us about your pen name? Is it a pen name?
Inky. Seemed like a pretty good name for a pen.

3. What is your blog about?
I’m a Mommy Blogger, and as such I focus on recipes for healthy after-school snacks, making creative scrapbooking materials out of ordinary household items, determining appropriate television options for the under-twelve crowd, and the importance of reconnecting with one’s spouse at the end of the day. Oh wait. No I don’t. I focus on sex.

4. Do you earn any money with your blog?
I wish!

5. What inspired you to blog?
The main inspiration is all of the hot, passionate sex I have with Jack, which is a very compelling thing to read about. But more specifically Vincent Vega and Mia Wallace, two friends of ours, who had maintained a sex blog years earlier, suggested blogging as a means of keeping a record of our sex life. If you were active in the sex blogosphere (or on Twitter) in early 2012 you may remember them, though there blog has been shuttered for quite some time. Though they were (and as far as we know, still are) strictly monogamous, we both wanted to fuck Mia (and still do).

6. What keeps you blogging?
The truth is, I don’t blog much anymore. I have a handful of partially-written posts that I’ve been meaning to finish, some of them going back to 2013. Some are accounts of our sexual exploits, some involve my thoughts on politics and religion (but especially religion) as they relate to human sexuality, and others involve our never-ending need for discretion as we explore our boundaries. I’m hoping to complete as many as I can, though I have no projected date. For now, if not for TMI Tuesday, you probably wouldn’t hear from me at all.

7. Do you have any advice for readers looking for love? Looking to get laid? Looking for a threesome?
Be honest about what you want out of any relationship. Don’t just be honest with a potential partner. Be honest with yourself. Know your long-term objectives, and don’t compromise or settle. If you have to compromise or otherwise give up what you want for the sake of another person, then the other person is not the right one for you. There are far worse things than being alone. Above all, be happy with yourself. Until you are happy with yourself, you shouldn’t be in a relationship. If you’re just looking to get laid, though, have some confidence. You’re presumably no worse than any other person in the world, and if everyone else is getting laid (whether with one person, or two, or several), so can you.

8. Did you do your kegels today? When was the last time you did them? (Men: There is no evidence that kegels prevent erectile dysfunction. Source: WebMD)
I do them everyday. They’re easy to do while I’m sitting at my desk in my classroom, and they really help to tighten up the pelvic floor. As a result, my orgasms are more frequent, more intense, and longer-lasting. Plus I think I’m more likely to achieve simultaneous orgasm when having sex, which occurred on Sunday night. It was so exciting.

Bonus: Do you have any special sexual gifts or talents or tricks? Tell us about it.
I’d like to think that I have lots of sexual talents. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on my oral sex technique, as well as my dirty talk. We should talk dirty sometime.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

 

 

The theme this week was “No humans”.  Per Molly, the assignment was to create a sexy or suggestive image without using the human form.  I considered capturing two animals fucking, but apparently they won’t do it on command.  So how about a sexy still life instead?

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

Much thanks to Sweeten Dirty for this week’s TMI Tuesday questions.

Flesh and Fantasy

Jack’s Answers

1.) What was your biggest fantasy once you discovered sexy things?
Without a doubt, my biggest fantasy has always having two (or more) women at once. It’s something of which I became aware relatively early in my sexual development, and which I always found appealing. As I have stated elsewhere on this blog, just about everything I’ve done over the course of my life, every decision I’ve made, I’ve done so with the thought of making this fantasy a reality at the forefront of my mind. “Studying a particular discipline? Choosing an apartment? Picking out a tie? Yes, every one of these decisions and countless others were made with the thought of pleasing two woman at once, and of course being pleased by them as well.” You can read more about the unlikely source of this fantasy at this link.

2.) Did you get to do said fantasy, and if so would you do it again?
I did achieve said fantasy, though I’m almost sorry to say that it didn’t happen until I was well into my thirties. I would definitely do it again, and in fact I have. Many times.

3.) Was it as good as imagined?
The first time it was better than imagined, and that’s saying a hell of a lot because it was a fantasy I’d been entertaining for more than twenty years. But our third was a very close friend, one I’d known for years and to whom I’d long been attracted. She was completely respectful of Jill’s boundaries – because I have none – and said and did everything exactly right to ensure my wife’s comfort. I don’t think I even fucked her that first time, and that was okay. In the wake of this experience, nothing really changed within our friendship; though playing together seemingly brought the three of us closer, it didn’t get weird, and even though it’s been awhile since we’ve had a threesome with her, we love hanging out in groups and knowing we’ve got this secret about which no one else knows.

4.) Describe said fantasy.
Let’s see. Me and two other women. Doesn’t matter who. Clothes being taken off. Huge empty bed suddenly taken up by the two women, whom I pleasure with hands and mouth for as long as they can stand it (or alternately one woman lies on the bed while the other woman and myself pleasure her, and then they switch). Eventually I get on the bed and they pleasure me. At some point penetrative sex occurs; ideally at one point one of the women would straddle my face while the other rides me. As it’s a fantasy I entertained for many years, there were variations as I learned more about the ins and outs (so to speak) of sex. Additionally, the location changed occasionally. As a child, I thought you had to have sex in a bed. Still, the fundamentals – making out, manual and oral sex, penetrative sex, etc. – were pretty consistent.

5.) What is your biggest fantasy now?
Honestly, probably just to meet and have sex with a bunch of our fellow bloggers and the friends we’ve made on Twitter. Like, one per month, say. That would be nice.

Bonus: Something you would NEVER do.
This is a hard question to answer, as never is pretty limiting, isn’t it? There are things I’ve done that I thought I’d never do but eventually did, including a threesome with another man. When I was younger and more insecure, that squicked me because I didn’t like the idea of sharing my partner in that fashion, nor was I necessarily comfortable being in a sexual situation in which another man was involved. The thought of the other guy being better than me, having a bigger cock than I have, or perhaps threatening my relationship, was difficult to accept. But as I’ve grown older and more secure in myself I realized it was something I could handle, and handle it I have. Though we aren’t regular practitioners of BDSM, there are certain aspects that we enjoy, and yet I can’t see myself ever trying breath play. For myself, and certainly for Jill, that’s a hard limit right now. And currently I’m not into the idea of having sex with another man; it doesn’t do anything for me, nor does it excite my wife. And I’ve given the matter some thought! I’m not just dismissing it reflexively as some men are wont to do. Still, I can’t say never to these things because who the fuck knows how I’ll feel in a year? I am relatively confident, however, that I’ll never be interested in coprophila, nor any sexual activity that involves minors or others unable or unwilling to give consent. I’m pretty sure that will never happen.

Jill’s Answers

1.) What was your biggest fantasy once you discovered sexy things?
Do I have to pick just one? Because in my formative years the two fantasies that turned me on the most were having sex in public, and having sex with two guys at once. Though I really do enjoy having sex with women, it’s more of a recent desire. Public sex somehow seemed more normal given my values and upbringing. I felt like if I was caught having sex in a public place it might embarrass my parents, but at least I was only having sex with one guy. Plus, it really satisfied my exhibitionist nature. However, the thought of having sex with two guys at once was much more taboo, and that made it so much hotter.

2.) Did you get to do said fantasy, and if so would you do it again?
Yes to both! I would definitely do either one again, though regarding public sex I am a bit more mindful of the thought of being caught and what it might do to my career. Still, yes. I totally would.

3.) Was it as good as imagined?
The first time I had sex in public, it was so exhilarating! A fuck buddy and I had gone out for a late-night walk and ended up at a local park. We went up on the play structure where we made out. We slowly sank down to the floor, and he hiked up my skirt, spread my legs, and began to finger my pussy which was by now soaking wet. He brought me right to the edge, then slowed down and slid my saturated panties off. Then he went down on me, and his lips and amazingly skilled tongue drove me to climax more than a few times in rapid succession. I moaned his name, my juices dripping down my thighs and my ass. He pulled me up to my feet and I helped him take out his cock. I would have liked to have sucked it, but at that point all either of us wanted was to fuck. He pushed me up against the railing and I put my leg up, and he fucked me hard. I stared out at the night, enjoying his strong hands on my hips, and the feel of being so full, but part of me really wanted a crowd to gather at the edge of the park, or even right below the play structure. It was really late, so I knew it wasn’t going to happen, but the thought turned me on. Eventually he lay me back down and got on top of me. I clasped my legs around his waist and put my hands on his shoulders, urging him deeper. It didn’t take him long to come. So hot! As for the threesome, it was very good, and every bit as exciting as I hoped. It just didn’t go on for as long as I would have liked.

4.) Describe said fantasy.
My sex-in-public fantasy involved me having sex in any public or semi-public place. It might have been in a storefront window, on a park bench, or the middle of class. In other words, it wasn’t behind closed doors or otherwise completely private. Usually I was having sex in full view of onlookers or at least passersby. At the very least, there had to be the possibility of being observed. But any observers were always excited by the sight. I wasn’t, and still am not, turned on by the thought of offending anyone. Ideally as the crowd watched they got turned on enough to masturbate, or have sex with a partner. As for my threesome fantasy, I just liked the thought of having two men to make out with. Two mouths and four hands all over my body. And while I was really into the idea of receiving so much pleasure, I knew that having sex with two men would really allow me to explore my submissive side. I liked the thought of getting on my knees and sucking both cocks, either one at a time or both at once, and I really loved imagining one man fucking me doggy style while the other grabbed my hair and fucked my mouth.

5.) What is your biggest fantasy now?
As with my first answer, I can’t exactly narrow it down to one. I have a few male friends who I’d really like to have sex with. I describe three of them in this post, though there are more than just three. I enjoy fantasizing about these men because, like Jack, I really like variety, and it is unlikely that any of these guys’ wives would give them permission to sleep with me. However, there are a couple single guys among my fantasy pool. As for another fantasy, the last few years I find myself more and more turned on by the thought of double penetration. Before that, it was a pretty much nonexistent aspect of my threesome fantasies, in part because it somehow seemed too dirty – they only do that in porn films, right? – and later because of a bad experience with anal sex. I find it so hot to imagine both men filling me at the same time, their cocks alternating pistons moving in and out, one in my pussy and one in my ass. Although I can’t imagine being able to pull this off logistically, the thought of all three of us coming at the same time has me so turned on right now that I need to change my panties.

Bonus: Something you would NEVER do.
Cheat.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

I’m actually not putting it on; I’m taking it off.  I don’t sleep with clothes on.  Sorry if the title of this post was misleading.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

There are several unique and weird holidays that take place all over the world. This TMI Tuesday is about the month of April’s special observances. What’s Up April? …

 

Jack’s Answers

1. April 1 is April Fool’s Day (All Fools Day), a Western tradition of pulling pranks and hoaxes.
– Did you play any April Fool’s jokes on someone?
– Were you the victim of an April’s Fool prank this year?
– What is the best April Fool’s hoax you’ve ever pulled?
The answer to the first two questions is no. In my younger days I would frequently play some sort of minor, inconsequential April Fool’s joke, though I eventually grew up and found the practice somewhat annoying. My mother never got the memo, however, because up until this year she would regularly call me with some dire bit of news and, when I was fully on the hook, she’d remind me that it was April Fool’s Day. She’d pretty much always get me. This year, I was ready for her tricks, but one never came. As for the best April Fool’s hoax – probably more of a joke if I’m being honest – I’ve ever pulled, I once called my mom while on a spring break road trip to Vegas, and told her that I was in jail. I’m pretty sure she fell for it, though this was about fifteen years ago. For all I remember she didn’t.

2. What is your favorite unusual or non-traditional holiday to observe?
My birthday, obviously. It’s not a traditional holiday – you probably don’t even get the day off for it, and if not, shame on your employer/institution of higher learning – but it’s damn special to me.

3. Do you observe any unique local or family tradition holidays? Briefly tell us about this holiday.
I’d love to write at length about an arcane custom my ancestors created and passed down from generation to generation, and which I too will pass down to my descendants. Perhaps there is some unique manner of cultural music or dance that my people perfected, or an annual celebration or culinary tradition. While my countrymen and women have their own cuisine, I doubt I would call it unique. At any rate, however, there is no unique holiday we celebrate. We celebrate pretty much all the usual ones.

4. April is National Poetry Month. Share your favorite poem with TMI Tuesday or write a poem and share.
“Longmobile”, by Shel Silverstein
It’s the world’s longest car, I swear.
It reaches from Beale Street to Washington Square.
And once you get in it
To go where you’re going,
You simply get out, ’cause you’re there.

5. This month is also Stress Awareness Month. What stresses you on a daily basis?
Commuter traffic as I’m driving my daughter to school. Having to be “on” socially as the other parents and I wait for the teachers to admit the students into class, and again as we wait for school to be dismissed. A sex drive that can seemingly never be completely satisfied. Financial difficulties of the sort most families face. Living in a too-small space that may meet the needs of my family but fails to meet the wants. And perhaps most importantly, the knowledge that I have a great life and probably shouldn’t be stressed out about any of this.

6. April is National Humor Month. Name 3 stand-up comics or comedic actors who make you laugh?
Bill Hicks. Patton Oswalt. Louis CK. Dwayne Kennedy. Margaret Cho. Eddie Murphy. Garfunkel and Oates. David Cross. Chris Rock. Greg Giraldo. George Carlin. Kristen Schaal. Pablo Francisco. Brian Regan. Mitch Hedberg. Tig Notaro. Richard Jeni. Robin Williams. Comedians I don’t like? Larry the Cable Guy. Andy Dick. Sam Kinison. Judy Tenuta. Bill Cosby. Sorry Bill. In the space of a few months your entire comedic legacy has been almost completely overshadowed, and it makes me sad. And I feel like I need to mention Jerry Seinfeld as well; while I love his eponymous 1990s television series, removed from that I have almost no interest.

7. April 22 is National Jelly Bean Day in the United States, however, it can and should be celebrated all over the world. How will you celebrate Jelly Bean Day?
I’d say by touring the Jelly Belly Factory here in Northern California, but the 22nd is a Wednesday and I don’t see myself driving across two bridges on a weekday; and also, as the tour guides are known to explain to guests, the world-famous Jelly Belly is not actually a jelly bean.

Bonus: The flower for the month of April is the Daisy. How or what do you feel about daisies?
Daisy Dukes? As a confirmed leg-and-ass man, I approve wholeheartedly.

Jill’s Answers

1. April 1 is April Fool’s Day (All Fools Day), a Western tradition of pulling pranks and hoaxes.
– Did you play any April Fool’s jokes on someone?
– Were you the victim of an April’s Fool prank this year?
– What is the best April Fool’s hoax you’ve ever pulled?
I did not play any jokes, nor were any played on me. I’m not really into practical jokes, actually. I don’t like to be made fun of or laughed at, and I am not especially crazy about doing that to others. I don’t see the value of telling someone something untrue that will probably provoke a strong emotional reaction, then explaining that you made it all up for the sake of some silly tradition. For the couple seconds that the person believed the lie, they may have been pretty scared. No thanks.

2. What is your favorite unusual or non-traditional holiday to observe?
Teacher Appreciation Week. This year it’s celebrated the week of May 4th. I usually get all sorts of gifts from the students in my class. The Parent-Teacher Association prepares a lunch for us, and do our yard duty all week so we don’t have to. It’s a minor celebration at best, but when you consider how woefully underpaid the average American public school teacher is, it’s a nice little bone-throw.

3. Do you observe any unique local or family tradition holidays? Briefly tell us about this holiday.
My family is fond of watching football and drinking, so let’s just say that we celebrate Sunday.

4. April is National Poetry Month. Share your favorite poem with TMI Tuesday or write a poem and share.
“Sick”, by Shel SIlverstein
“I cannot go to school today,”
Said little Peggy Ann McKay,
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash, and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox
And there’s one more–that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue–
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broke–
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is–what?
What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is—Saturday?
G’bye, I’m going out to play!”

5. This month is also Stress Awareness Month. What stresses you on a daily basis?
Getting everything done that needs to get done. Work, dinner, house-cleaning, sex, sleep, parenting: It never ends.

6. April is National Humor Month. Name 3 stand-up comics or comedic actors who make you laugh?
Patton Oswalt, Brian Regan, and David Cross. They’re my top three.

7. April 22 is National Jelly Bean Day in the United States, however, it can and should be celebrated all over the world. How will you celebrate Jelly Bean Day?
I’m going to buy enough Jelly Bellys to fill a bathtub and take a bath in them.
[Editor’s Note: Jelly Bellys technically aren’t jelly beans.]
[Rebuttal: Okay, I’ll do it with gummy worms instead.]

Bonus: The flower for the month of April is the Daisy. How or what do you feel about daisies?
Gerbera daisies are one of my favorite flowers, but regular daisies I don’t like very much.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

 

She looks good in it, doesn’t she?

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!

 

This week’s TMI Tuesday questions are provided by recusen.weebly.com.

Clothes make the man (or woman)

(Note that we are writing this at 11:00 PM after being in a car for the majority of the last eighteen hours.  Therefore our answers this week may be more succinct, disjointed, or even nonsensical than you’re used to, and we’ve elected to skip the pictures and captions.)

Jack’s Answers

1. What is the first garment that you remember?
A blue leisure suit with a ridiculous butterfly collar. My mother dressed me in this outfit for my first birthday party, which will probably give you a sense of how old I am. Actually I don’t remember this garment, but I’ve seen it in enough pictures to feel like I do.

2. What was your first favorite garment?
Presumably a diaper, because it kept my accidents from turning into disasters.

3. What is your favorite garment now?
My ExOfficio boxer briefs, specifically my black pair. (I have two others that are gray.) This is the most comfortable garment I own, and as a bonus I look very sexy in them (and out of them).

4. What garment, of yours, is a favorite of your lover’s and they like for you to wear?
Probably one of my short-sleeved button-up shirts. Jill enjoys slowly and deliberately unbuttoning them and taking them off of me before sex.

5. What garment do you like your lover to wear for you?
A particularly sexy pink and black piece of lingerie that has been featured in many photos here on the blog.

6. What do you think makes a sexy outfit for a woman?
Hard to say. A suitably confident woman can look sexy in sweatpants and a T-shirt.

7. What makes a sexy outfit for a man?
I want to give an answer similar to my answer to #6, but I just can’t. If you ever see me wearing sweatpants feel free to assume that I’ve given up on life and shame me for it.

8. Do you like to see women in tight clothing?
Not really. I mean, no moreso than in loose or average-fitting clothing, but the fact is it doesn’t necessarily do anything for me. I’d rather see a woman wearing clothes that don’t immediately make me think, “Wow, I hope she’s not in severe pain.”

9. Do you like to see men in tight clothing?
Not really.

10. What kind of bathing suit do you wear?
Bathing suit?

11. What kind of bathing suit do you find most flattering to a woman?
None. Or, you know, whatever she likes. Doesn’t really matter to me as long as she likes wearing it.

12. What kind of bathing suit do you find most flattering to a man?
A banana hammock, naturally. Can I go to sleep now? I’m exhausted.

Bonus: Your opinion of yoga pants?
They make your ass look hot.

Jill’s Answers

1. What is the first garment that you remember?
A dress that I had when I was about two. It had a Peter Pan collar and it was blue and red plaid with some black in it. It reached my knees. I tried to wear it every day.

2. What was your first favorite garment?
The dress I described in my answer to question #1. Although I wanted to wear it every day, my mother decided I should wear it no more than three times a week. By the time I finally gave it up it was pretty much a miniskirt.

3. What is your favorite garment now?
Probably my button-up chiffon shirt. It’s comfortable, it’s flattering, and it’s versatile. It can be dressy or casual depending on what it’s paired with.

4. What garment, of yours, is a favorite of your lover’s and they like for you to wear?
You’d have to ask him. My guess would be some sort of negligee. [Editor’s note: It’s your black and pink lingerie.]

5. What garment do you like your lover to wear for you?
I love it when he wears silky button-up shirts, preferably this blue one that’s really soft to the touch.

6. What do you think makes a sexy outfit for a woman?
Anything that makes her feel comfortable and confident.

7. What makes a sexy outfit for a man?
Tight jeans and a T-shirt, or a suit. Or, I suppose, anything that makes his feel comfortable and confident. I’m just partial toward the garments I mentioned.

8. Do you like to see women in tight clothing?
I love women’s breasts and asses, so if the tight clothes accentuate these parts of a woman’s body without making them look like uncomfortable or like their circulation is being cut off, then yes.

9. Do you like to see men in tight clothing?
See my answer to #7. If you need me to elaborate, I love men’s shoulders, backs, and asses, so any tight clothing that accentuates these parts of a man’s body is aesthetically-pleasing to me.

10. What kind of bathing suit do you wear?
Either a one-piece or a tankini depending on my mood and the circumstances. If I’m doing water aerobics, definitely a one-piece because the tankini top tends to fly up.

11. What kind of bathing suit do you find most flattering to a woman?
I feel like a bathing suit is fairly personal and potentially revealing, so when a woman chooses one presumably it’s one that suits her body. Thus I feel that whatever they’re wearing is the most flattering because, again, it makes them comfortable and confident. Whatever a woman feels makes them look best, even if others don’t agree, is going to be flattering because of how it affects her attitude.

12. What kind of bathing suit do you find most flattering to a man?
I personally prefer board shorts or a similar pair of swimming trunks. I’m not into Speedos, even if the guy has a nice ass and cock. I just don’t find that kind of thing flattering. That’s also probably why I prefer boxers or boxer briefs to tightie-whities. It’s just not what I’m into.

Bonus: Your opinion of yoga pants?
I love them. They’re comfortable, they accentuate my ass and the asses of the women I see wearing them, and they’re versatile. I love to work out in them, I love to relax in them, and when I can’t be naked I like to sleep in them.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

 

“So”, she asked as we lay there basking in afterglow, “do I get to be in your blog?”

Lazily I caressed her breasts as a breeze blew in through the screen door. The air chilled our sweaty bodies. “Do you want to be?”

I was aware of the pointlessness of my question almost before it left my mouth. Of course she did. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have asked. Even as she said so, it occurred to me that I had much to say about her. After all, I had just gotten through writing a five-part story about an old friend who probably never was a friend at all. I could definitely write a blog post about a new one who has already proven herself more than just a friend.

“What should I call you?” I asked as she leaned back against my wife.  Jill ran her hand along our guest’s bare hip and gently kissed her neck. She shrugged off the idea of my needing to protect her anonymity, but just in case I’ll refer to her here as Scarlet.

It was probably back in January when we first crossed paths on Twitter. That’s right, Twitter. Not some local kink event, not some play party in San Francisco, not OK Cupid or some other dating website. I’m not sure exactly how I found her, though she likely showed up in my Who to Follow panel. According to her username she was local, and there are definitely not enough local women amongst my Twitter followers. Visiting most of the friends we’ve made on Twitter would require a cross-country flight, if not an overseas one. It’s hard getting to know someone, finding out you have interests in common, realizing that you’d like to have sex with them, and then coming to grips with the likelihood that you’ll probably never meet.

I followed Scarlet immediately, feeling a twinge of nervousness as I did. Her profile picture was hot, and it occurred to me that this was the first time I’ve followed someone specifically because she was local, and for that matter fuckable. She followed me back and we tweeted each other a few times. She was young and seemed like a fun person.

It was February when she messaged me to say that she’d be open to fooling around, either with just me, or with both Jill and I if that was more to our liking. I found her forwardness a turn-on; she obviously found me attractive and had no problem coming right out and saying so. I also appreciated her cautious respect for our boundaries, and I told her that while I would definitely be down to play with her, Jill would likely need to be present, definitely the first time we got together and probably during subsequent meetings as well. Which is not to say that I’d ruled out the possibility of playing separately at some point in the future.

Of late I’ve slowed down when it comes to playing with others without Jill present. Although I never really did it all that often, I suspect that Jill allowed it begrudgingly; our non-monogamy was always intended to further our own sexual relationship, i.e. it was something we initially planned to do together. And while I always – and I mean always – made sure never to leave her feeling neglected physically or emotionally in the wake of such an encounter, I know that it still bothered her at times. I may have done everything I could to ensure that her needs were always taken care of, but that didn’t change the fact that playing separately really isn’t her thing.

Over time, Scarlet told me that she was a waitress at a trendy restaurant, one that I’d recently heard about and wanted to try, if only for their substantial list of beers on tap. On a random Saturday afternoon while Jill and our daughter were out with Jill’s sisters and our nieces, a friend and I decided to check the place out. From her Twitter feed I determined that she wasn’t working that day; while I wanted to meet her I didn’t necessarily want to do so under those circumstances.  My friend knows I have an eye for the ladies, but it probably wouldn’t do to meet someone I plan to fuck with him present. Anyway, I didn’t want to show up unannounced like a common stalker.

After leaving the restaurant I let her know that I’d been there and that I dug the place. I told her I’d definitely be back. That night, once she’d begun her shift, she messaged me to ask if I had come back, as someone called her name and she thought from the look of the person that it might have been me. I reminded her that I didn’t yet know her name, and that while I was in fact not there right at the moment, I’d certainly let her know the next time that I was.

From that point, our online flirting intensified; it wasn’t uncommon for us to trade flirty or downright dirty messages, and the occasional photo was shared as well. I wanted to meet her and, yes, fool around with her. Even better, Jill was on board too. Scarlet told me that she still lived with her parents, so we’d have to get together at our place, or at a hotel. Beyond that, there was the issue of our daughter. At five years old, she is now more aware and vocal than she’s ever been before. Gone are the days when we could have a threesome while she was asleep in her room. When she was two years old we could have risked it; if she happened to stumble into our bedroom half asleep and see three naked people tangled up on the bed it was no harm and no foul because she wouldn’t understand what she was seeing, nor would she be able to remember or rat us out. Now though? No chance.

Fortuitously, our daughter’s spring break coincided with the week before Easter, and we’d shipped her up to her grandparents’ house for a few days. We made plans to meet with Scarlet on Monday evening at a beer-and-wine bar near our home which Jill and I both like. It seemed appropriate as our new friend is something of a connoisseur of craft beer. It seemed to be a recurring theme of our budding friendship; her restaurant recently made a well-known website’s list of the best bars in the area, her tweets frequently reference beer, and it’s not unusual for me to message her while I’m drinking. Additionally, in the early days of our relationship, Jill and I bonded over our mutual love of Guinness.  We like beer.

Before we left the house, Jill had two drinks. She was nervous, as she always is when we play with another woman. She knows things will be fine. She knows she’s going to have a great time. She knows I’m not going to cross any boundaries or push her out of her comfort zone. But she needs the alcohol to help her relax because this isn’t something she’s thought about for most of her adult life the way it is for me.

It was around 6:30 when we arrived at the bar. The place gets crowded on Friday and Saturday nights, but on this particular Monday evening it was all but deserted. Scarlet arrived not long after; her drive was much farther than our own. Over the course of two rounds of beers, we made small talk and got to know each other. I noticed how at ease Jill seemed, and while it was easy to credit the alcohol in her system I could tell that the easy rapport she’d already formed with Scarlet had more to do with it. It was like they’d known each other a long time, or at the very least like she wasn’t a nervous kindergarten teacher who was at the bar for the express purpose of vetting a potential sex partner.

A few days earlier, I’d suggested to Jill that we devise a signal or a code that she and I could use privately to let the other know that we are or are not okay with bringing our new friend home with us. I always suggest this before threesomes, but we never end up coming up with something. I’m all about being straightforward and honest, and while I know Jill is also, I also know that this isn’t the most natural thing for some people, her included. Plus, rejection sucks. Telling someone that she’s just not our type can be taken offensively, so I always suggest inventing a simple signal or code phrase.

That is not to say that Scarlet wasn’t our type. Far from it. I’ve established that I found her physically attractive from her Twitter profile picture and the photos she’s shared. In person, however, we were both very taken by her. She was so much Jill’s type, in fact, that when my wife finished her second beer and decided she was done being at the bar, she simply asked Scarlet if she’d like to follow us back to our place.

We were barely through our bedroom doorway when the three of us came together, mouths trading hungry kisses, hands traversing bodies and removing clothing. As each article quickly dropped to the floor we moved ever closer to the bed. Jill set down our Liberator Throe, and I quickly got to work pleasuring our guest, first with my fingers, and then with my mouth, and then with both. I enjoyed the feel of her body, the soft smoothness, the responsiveness. I loved how wet she got. The sounds she made as her arousal built, and her moans as she came, were all so exciting.

That’s what I enjoy about non-monogamy: The variety. Every woman is different in countless ways, from shape and size to physical and facial features, to the sounds they make. And let’s not forget smell and taste. And Scarlet tasted great.

She identified as submissive and very eager to please, something she proved while taking turns going down on me with Jill. The way our eyes locked as she looked up at me and I looked down at her was a huge turn-on for this primarily dominant guy. She has these beautiful, expressive hazel eyes that I loved gazing into as she worked on me. Her lips swallowed me whole, her expression seeming to tacitly seek approval she already knew she had. Still, I was restrained. Though she later told me that she liked it rough and wouldn’t mind if I was a bit more forceful the next time we meet – “hair pulling, spanking, slapping, being dominated, titty slapping, biting, etc.” – she understood why I hadn’t trotted out any of these moves the first time out.

After almost an hour of playing, kissing, and touching both of them, Jill finally said that I needed to fuck her so that I could fuck Scarlet next. Remember what I said about forwardness being a turn-on? Needless to say I accommodated her, bringing her to another orgasm with cock and fingers working in concert. Afterwards I fucked Scarlet in missionary position and doggy style while Jill watched and played with her pussy. She’s come a long way from being unsure whether she’d be okay with me having penetrative sex with another woman in the missionary position because the intimacy of face-to-face positions might have been a threat to her. Actually, she’s come a long way from being unsure whether she’d be okay with me having penetrative sex with another woman, period. She may sometimes have problems with me doing things without her present, but when she is present she’s probably more compersive than anyone I know.

At one point as I felt my orgasm nearing I asked Scarlet where she’d like my cum. One of Jill’s few rules for threesomes and solo play is that I can’t cum inside the other woman even when I’ve got a condom on. This is because a condom can break, and the last thing we need is to explain to our daughter why she suddenly has a half-sibling, and why she can’t have a lavish birthday party this year because Daddy has to pay child support.

Her three-word reply nearly set me off right then and there: “Down my throat.” She said it with a very matter-of-fact enthusiasm, her big, inviting eyes almost pleading for my cum. That I didn’t erupt at that very moment was evidence of my tendency to hold back my orgasm in group situations more than anything else. It took me awhile, but eventually I fulfilled her request. She swallowed voraciously, heartily, the submissive smile on her lips telling me that she derived more pleasure from the act than I did, if that was even possible.

The three of us lay there awhile, talking just as we’d done back at the bar. However, our conversation had become much more sexual.  We talked about the parts of the evening we each enjoyed the most, things we might try on a subsequent meeting, and yes, Scarlet’s request that our threesome be immortalized here, in our blog.

I toyed with the idea of inviting my two bedmates into a warm shower and soaping up. I love taking a shower after sex with a new partner; it’s such a gesture of intimacy to clean somebody off after you’ve experienced them in this way, and the close quarters is very conducive to kissing and caressing, if not more. Also, I’d spent the better part of the afternoon scrubbing down the fixtures, the tile, and the grout so it would have been nice if our guest got to see what an impeccable job I’d done. In the end, however, the allure of remaining in bed proved too strong, and we all stayed there until it was time for her to leave.

We walked Scarlet to her car, albeit reluctantly. We stood in the dark, quiet street, the only illumination coming from a street lamp down the block, and each kissed her good night before she drove off. Back inside the house, Jill and I took a shower.

“You did a nice job on the fixtures,” she said as I soaped her up.

 

I left the bathroom door unlocked, but you never came in.

See who else is being sinful at Molly’s Daily Kiss!