I’d love to say that we have integrity. I’d love to say that this blog is not for sale. I’d love to say that we are incapable of being bought, of caving to special interests, of endorsing an inferior product in exchange for pay. I’d love to say these things, but in these uncertain economic times I cannot, with one hundred percent certainty, say any of them. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’m pretty sure that we do in fact have integrity; unfortunately the notion that we aren’t for sale is one about which I’m much more uncertain.

Though I am not sure that we would never endorse an inferior product in exchange for pay, we will now endorse a superior one for absolutely no remuneration whatsoever. That superior product is the Eroscillator, and we believe that it’s the only sex toy you will ever need. Yes, we realize that it’s way too late in the season to be giving out Christmas recommendations. And we realize that we certainly do use other sex toys in our collection, though none as frequently as the Eroscillator. And we realize that at a suggested retail price of $127.95 for the most basic package (the Eroscillator and three attachments) all the way up to $240.90 for the Eroscillator and all seven available attachments, this isn’t a toy for a masturbator with a budget. However, in the three years since we’ve owned an Eroscillator, it has provided us with countless hours of fun, and more orgasms than any single toy should be capable of. Though probably not the priciest sex toy available for purchase, we can’t imagine getting any more use, and indeed enjoyment, out of anything we own.

The Eroscillator is billed as “the only vibrator ever recommended by Dr. Ruth Westheimer.” It promises “powerful but gentle stimulation” leading to “earth-shattering explosions”, and in our experience it delivers. Powerful enough to be used for solo masturbation, but equally useful when having sex with a partner, over the last three years the Eroscillator may very well have revolutionized our already-spectacular sex life.

Buying an Eroscillator? May we also suggest a Fascinator Throe by Liberator? They come in handy, especially in conjunction with the aforementioned sex toy, when used by a woman prone to ejaculation.