Happy TMI Tuesday and…

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Jack’s Answers

1. You found your pot o’ gold. How much is in the pot? What will you do with your gold?
In the pot is an infinite amount of gold which I will use to ensure a comfortable and happy life for myself and my loved ones, and cure all of society’s ills. With this gold I will end poverty and inequality, repair the environment, buy off the keepers of the status quo who would try to stop me, and most importantly educate the younger generation so that the problems I’ve just solved will never be problems again.

2. Some things get better with age, have you? What specifically has gotten better?
My sex drive has certainly gotten better, unless “better” means “slowed-down to a reasonable level”. While my drive has always been incredibly high, as I’ve gotten older I notice that my stamina has increased, as have my consideration for the needs of my partners, and my sexual performance as a whole. I take sex more seriously, and as a result I am better at it. Even when I was younger and I would consume literally any piece of sex-related literature I could get my hands on – I’m not talking about porn magazines but rather anything that I thought would make me better at it – I wasn’t quite as good as I am these days.

3. Are you above average or below average?
Are we talking temperature? Height? Weight? Demeanor? Talents in the kitchen? Talents in the bedroom? Penis size? You’ll need to be specific.

4. What was the last romantic act you did for someone? Did they appreciate it?
I always walk Jill to the door when she’s leaving for work in the morning, and hold it open for her. She’s usually got her hands full, what with her laptop, her coffee cup, her water bottle, and whatever else she needs to take with her, and I’d feel like an inattentive husband if I made her open the door herself.

5. Think back to your very last argument, whose fault was it?
My last argument was probably with my Mom over something related to my daughter. I can’t say for sure, but it was more than likely a less-than-patient response to my Mom spoiling her. She does that a lot, and apparently I’m required to just grin and bear it. Can’t vent about it on Facebook because if I do a bunch of hens that serve as my mother’s blue-haired Mafia family immediately try to shame me for daring to question the paradigm that has served grandparents for generations (though I don’t recall being particularly spoiled by my own). Anyway, my wife and I bust our collective ass to make sure that our daughter is being raised properly, not being given toys and gifts for no reason, not overindulging on sweets, and essentially understanding the value of money and good dental hygiene. Then we’re supposed to just deal with it when my mother comes to town and buys her “something small” (usually several somethings small) and so much sugary crap that looks pretty in the grocery store or bakery but of which our daughter is realistically probably not going to eat more than a couple bites. Hey, if you want to throw your cash away, cut me a check. I’ll see that it’s put to good use. I have no problem being the bad guy when the situation dictates. I have no problem telling her no. But it’s a lot easier to tell my mother no, at which point an argument can sometimes ensue.

Bonus: I have an overactive _____ .
Libido? I feel like I have to go with “libido” on this. I realize that most human beings don’t think about sex as much as I do, nor do they – the males, at least – have the ability or the desire to have sex as much or as often as I do. I understand that, on some level, this is not “normal”, to the extent that I concern myself with normalcy (i.e., I don’t). However, while I am content to acknowledge that I am aroused more than is convenient and more than I have an ability to do anything about it, to me it doesn’t seem overactive. To me it feels normal.

 

Jill’s Answers

1. You found your pot o’ gold. How much is in the pot? What will you do with your gold?
If we’re going to talk fantasy scenarios, I say go big or go home. I’d like at least ten million dollars, as that seems like it would be enough to live comfortably for the rest of our lives. We could pay off our house and all of our debt and travel the world. I wouldn’t work, either. While I do enjoy teaching, if I was that wealthy I wouldn’t do it anymore. Instead, how about putting another ten million into the pot so I could help to fund public education as it deserves?

2. Some things get better with age, have you? What specifically has gotten better?
I think that I have gotten better with age. I know my body better than I did when I was younger, and am more in control of my own pleasure. I think Jack and the other amazing lovers I’ve had throughout my life have helped me with that. So I definitely get more pleasure than I did in my twenties, which has assured that I have gotten happier with age as well.

3. Are you above average or below average?
I think I am above average in some ways. At the risk of sounding conceited, I am above average when it comes to intelligence, skill in the kitchen, and happiness. I am the best wife and mother that I can be, and that has put me above average in those areas as well. I also believe that I am above average sexually. I get the sense that I am a much better lover (and accordingly, much better-sexed) than most of my friends and co-workers. Probably many or most of my relatives as well. I tend not to have the usual hang-ups when it comes to sex, and while I may not be the youngest or the thinnest or the wildest, my sex life isn’t just above average, it’s pretty much perfect.

4. What was the last romantic act you did for someone? Did they appreciate it?
The other night I went to three different stores to hunt down the ingredients to make some homemade chocolate candy for Jack because he mentioned that he had liked it the last time I made it. And I didn’t waste any time, either. He said it, and half an hour later I was on my way to the first store. I made it as soon as I got home and presented it to Jack before he went to bed that night. And yes, he appreciated it. Jack likes my abilities in the kitchen almost as much as he likes my abilities in the bedroom.

5. Think back to your very last argument, whose fault was it?
Probably mine. Sometimes the stress of teaching thirty kids and raising one of my own can be overwhelming, and I find myself getting upset easily. That said, I don’t remember the actual argument. I have no idea what it was about, or even who it was with.

Bonus: I have an overactive _____ .
Imagination. Definitely imagination. It isn’t all bad, though. While most people hear “overactive imagination” and think of children who see monsters in their closet, adults who constantly suspect their spouses of cheating, or people who daydream when they should be focused. However, I find that my overactive imagination comes in handy because I’m an elementary school teacher, and I need to be engaging and creative. Being extremely imaginative helps in this regard.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

*Disclaimer: This is not my photo. However, all kidding aside I wouldn’t mind having a room just for Star Wars memorabilia. Maybe when I find that pot of gold.